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| Romancing my Knickers |
| 04.02.05 (10:15 am) [edit] |
|
I think romance is, for all practical purposes, dead. Call me jaded, but how many people would truly describe themselves as romantic? Sure, we do romantic gestures from time to time, usually at the beginning of a relationship - before we get into that comfort zone where that fluffy pink phase disappears and reality shows up. Flowers, doors being opened, that dance of courtship. I profess that the romantic stuff doesn't matter to me in my dating, but, just between you and me, I love the stuff. However, I don't want it used as a ploy to win my affections (or my knickers), I want it to be ongoing. Of course, we get busy with life and leaving a note on the mirror might seem like something trivial, but it's the little things to me that impress me. Forget the roses and grand gestures - the simple things that show that I crossed his mind and I am appreciated utterly rock my world. Me? I'd love to express that side of me. To get a wee bit mushy, but not overly so. However, many guys think that's a signal of something more, that the girl is smitten. That they can stop their 'romancing' because the girl is nibbling. I can't help but to smile when I see an old couple holding hands, when he refers to his wife as 'his bride', those sort of things make me melt. Alas, I know it's incredibly unrealistic. It *could* be the men I've dated. I'm torn between my Southern upbringing of how a woman *should* be treated and the reality that most guys may give it a half-assed attempt in the beginning (if the woman is worth the effort). But it doesn't last... I'd rather not have it at all than to longingly recall how romantic he used to be. It seems that the majority of GenX-ers have failed to keep the movement alive. We get too damn busy with life and see it as trivial. Is it me? Is romance a lost art? Is it kaput? |
posted by: onebadjen (reply)
post date: 04.02.05 (9:08 am)
its not lost... of course i am about half smitten right now though.
posted by: angiekruger (reply)
post date: 04.02.05 (10:05 am)
i was at the waffle house once, late at night, and and old couple came in, he patted her bottom and they sat next to each other in the booth instead of across from each other and they held hands the whole time....
posted by: trekguy (reply)
post date: 04.02.05 (1:16 pm)
Well this is the way I treat "J". I love doing the "mushy" stuff and she loves the fact that I do it!! Not all of us guys are brain-dead!!
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 04.02.05 (1:50 pm)
it's not lost, it just takes a ton of work! Sometimes it's easier to get into comfy jammies and curl up with a TV show.
posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 04.02.05 (6:11 pm)
I've said it before and I'll say it again... Romance may not be dead, but it's certainly not feeling all that well.
Romance keeps hope alive. Oh, that sounds ridiculously mushy. Sorry!
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 04.02.05 (8:17 pm)
Eventhough my husband and I have seen our share of troubles recently, it's the 'little' things(holding my hand as we walk side by side, always opening a door for me, catching him staring at me, etc.) he does that makes me know he does love me
posted by: baileydog (reply)
post date: 04.03.05 (8:24 am)
if i had the time and money, don't forget the girl, i could be romantic all the time. the problem is that romance takes planning and commitment. who has time for that anymore?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.03.05 (12:57 pm)
Reply to: baileydog
Things that cost money don't impress me. A hand-picked flower over roses, a creatively-hidden post-it note over some grand gesture - those things don't cost a dime.
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 04.04.05 (4:00 am)
Its not dead. Its just a part of the natural course of relationships.
I would think it would be exhausting to be "romantic" all the time. Good manners and thoughfulness is one thing. Remembering the little things ALL the time is nothing short of a herculean effort.
At least for this camper ...
posted by: deviant1 (reply)
post date: 04.04.05 (4:03 am)
That last comment was mine BTW.
Furthermore, I have set my personal bar so low that remembering to come to the office with pants on is a "success". :)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.04.05 (5:01 am)
Reply to: deviant1
Oh Dev, my dear soul, we need to talk.
If you think that showing that special girl in your life that you luv her is a 'herculean' effort, that's sad...
But wearing pants to work is a good thing. Unless you're working for me - then long a loincloth is necessay.
posted by: deviant1 (reply)
post date: 04.04.05 (5:11 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
In one way you are right. But in real life I have never seen it work that way.
Relationships have definate cycles, bu the "fuzzy" stage inevitably ends in all relationships. That's just the way it works.
"Dating" behaviour just doesn't happen all the time after year one, in my experience.
Lets be clear though: I never said showing someone you love them is a heculean task, I said remembering ALL the details ALL the time was, and is unrealistic in a long term relationship.
16 hours into my workday I just couldn't care less if I could see a mushroom cloud on the horizon, much less make time for details.
I must be some kind of bad man ...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.04.05 (5:29 am)
Reply to: deviant1
If I was involved with a man, I would make a point of making the effort. It doesn't take 15 seconds to leave a note saying something special that makes him blush...
Then again, how many relationships have I had that lasted more than 4 months when a plane ride wasn't involved....
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.04.05 (5:55 am)
Reply to: deviant1
BTW - bravo on using such a big word on a Monday morning. "Herculean"
You get a gold star for the day.
posted by: deviant1 (reply)
post date: 04.04.05 (5:59 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
woo hoo! I'm gold star boy!
Your probably right, most likely I just suck. Plus The romantic low for this camper is always going to be the dreaded Monda morning!
by Redonthehead