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| Oh the calamity! |
| 12.19.04 (9:42 am) [edit] |
|
On Tuesday, I ranted about my mother, aka "The Mother", and some boots and a cape. I have not seen her since mid-August. She lives 10 minutes away. Well, she invaded on Friday. FOUR TIMES. Yes. FOUR. First she brought over the boots. They were too small. (I told her in the store that I wear thick socks and my feet are 1/2 a size larger than hers. I couldn't even fit my foot into the boot). Then...she brought out THE PURPLE CAPE. I told her I wasn't interested in it on the phone at least five times. (You would THINK she'd back off). Nooooooooooooooooo. She had to model it and prance around the house talking about how stylish it was and how it would blah blah blah blah. I said "No thank you" three times and then I just shut up and glared at her. Finally, she put the hideous thing away. I had nightmares about it. So she leaves (deep collective sigh of relief). Five minutes later, she calls. She's at TJ Maxx and found a great duvet set that would match my room. (ugh) So she comes rushing back over with it (Visit #2). It's ok, sorta cheap looking, parachute-fabric sort of feel. But she got the wrong size. Before I could say "I don't like it" she's gone. Back to TJ Maxx. With King duvet in tow, she's back for visit #3. Only the duvet wasn't actually a King. The package wasn't even marked King. She insisted that I couldn't make a decision untnil I saw the right size on the bed. (SIGH) Back to TJ Maxx again. For the final visit du jour, she has a King-sized duvet. But it's a totally different color. Doesn't match my bedroom at all (sage green). The duvet is a coppery-olive green. I was thinking to myself, where did I put that Xanax... So she called today to tell me ALAS! she found the King duvet in sage green. She's coming over tomorrow and she wants to go bra shopping with me on Monday. Ok, I'm not 12. I don't need my mommy to guy bra shopping with me. Especially when I'm looking for something of the 'racier' type... I think after tomorrow, I'll be set for another 4 month break, don't you think? |
posted by: KarenMcP (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (6:54 am)
does she take anything? holy crap - that sounds exhausting!
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (7:01 am)
If I didn't know better, I'd say you're talking about my mother-in-law. "Oblivious" is the word I'd use - she's not intentionally evil, she's just insane and appears to want some company in the padded room.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (8:57 am)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
Sweetie, I wouldn't do that to you. You know how I'm 'brutally honest'? Well, she is brutally critical. You would walk away feeling crucified. If your hair isn't perfect, nails aren't done, not dressed appropriately, not wearing 'the right' bra, make-up tastefully done, you would never hear the end of it.
And let's not even talk about going out in public in your jammies...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (9:02 am)
Reply to: KarenMcP
My mantra regarding my mother:
"She means well, she really does."
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (9:05 am)
Reply to: almsthvn
No, she's not evil at all. She is just convinced that she knows what's best for me and is apparently unaware that I'm an adult (despite having a house, my own responsibilities, etc)
I humor myself with her nowadays by saying "No thank you." After that I say "For the 2nd time, no thank you." etc. Then I start trying to calculate how high I'll get before she shuts up. Helps me keep from blowing up. Sometimes I do cave - I just don't have it in me to fight all the time.
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 12.19.04 (3:18 pm)
all mothers try to do that, I think. Mine thinks that I must have an overwhelming desire to rid her house of all the old crap she doesn't want anymore.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.20.04 (3:14 am)
Reply to: NurseNancy
She brings stuff over and as soon as she leaves, it goes in the trash. I keep telling her I have too much 'stuff'. And she keeps bringing over knick-nacks - which I hate - more shit to dust - ya know? Oh, and all the cat yard stuff. I have three in the front yard (one is nice) and a huge cat metal sculpture in the back yard).
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.20.04 (3:16 am)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
She has this look of 'disdain' and disapproval perfected. And she denies she does it - sometimes I'll wear something like bright pink lipstick just to get her goat. LOL
posted by: posaunegr (reply)
post date: 12.20.04 (12:14 pm)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
Some men like that look... ; )
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.20.04 (12:47 pm)
Reply to: posaunegr
That's not my look. ;)
posted by: posaunegr (reply)
post date: 12.20.04 (2:26 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Too bad... ; )
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 12.20.04 (3:15 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
like that show "Clean Sweep"- just heave it all!!
posted by: jennirae269 (reply)
post date: 12.21.04 (9:18 am)
Give the xanax to your mother, and tell you to call her when it has about 6 months to take effect!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.21.04 (12:53 pm)
Reply to: NurseNancy
I can only do so much trash a week... She keeps bringing over 'tote bags' from trade shows, etc. I have them coming out my ears. Any thoughts on how they can be used? They are too tacky for me to use on a daily basis. And I'm not going to use them for groceries...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.21.04 (12:53 pm)
Reply to: jennirae269
I'd really prefer the xanax for myself. ;)
posted by: LarryConley (reply)
post date: 12.21.04 (3:33 pm)
Hmmm well if you want to be certain she never takes you bra shopping.. Be sure to start out ad say Fredricks of Hollywood.. and if that doesn't do the trick move on to a fetish shop (evil grin).
Be sure to post pictures though ;)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 01.01.05 (11:47 pm)
Reply to: LarryConley
Of course Larry, I'll let you take the pics - k? LOL
by Redonthehead