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| Out of the Blue |
| 10.24.04 (10:45 pm) [edit] |
|
I was doing some paperwork last night and turned on the radio - I never listen to commercial radio. I heard the lyrics to a song that made me feel like I was a 14 year old heartsick girl. The song you ask? "The Reason" by Hoobastank The lyrics hit home bigtime considering what is still somewhat fresh with "N". The wounds seemed fresher suddenly. (Now I utterly loathe people that just blog song lyrics and you can go read them somewhere if you wish)His birthday is this week. I had been debating about sending him an e-card. I've been hoping that perhaps he'd reconsidered (utterly pathetic, I know!) I was in total sappy mode. Fast forward. This afternoon. Phone rings. I look down, it's "Ned". OMG. I took a deep breath. Answered it. He said that he had always enjoyed our conversations and indicated that he had been keeping up with reading my blog (where I've said that I was still kinda pining away from him.) While talking to him, I'm wondering "What do you want?" I'm knowing that if he turns this into a booty call, that I would say no and it would put him the category with all those other oafs. But he didn't. Three hours later. Yes, we talked for three hours. Not about how things ended or trying again or anything that offered any sort of glimmer of possibility. I found myself the whole time wondering if perhaps he could see past things and start things over. For now, I don't think I can handle the 'let's just be friends'. As much as I might try to deny it, I still miss him. He mentioned talking to another girl right before he talked to me. (Dagger into my heart) But he may perceive I've moved on - PopTart guy, but I haven't. And plans are still to move buy a place around the corner from me. Could I deal with the reminder of what was once between us and be friends? I dunno. |
posted by: baileydog (reply)
post date: 10.24.04 (8:54 pm)
its tough to be just friends sometimes, especially if there is any sexual tension. you have to build up a tolerance too just being friends.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (12:25 am)
I don't think he's perceived you've moved on. Kinda seems like he may be missing you just as much as you miss him, and he's just as confused about how to handle it. I would call that a slight *glimmer* lol
But I am the die-hard romantic :-)
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (2:44 pm)
Hmm...I can definitely see how that'd be hard when you are missing him and wanting to be something with him.
I'm at least happy that you two are talking again. I know how down you've been about the whole situation playing out the way it was...I just hope he doesn't play around with your emotions. You know I don't like how he handled you last time...I guess I can understand that initially he didn't understand your perspective about things. - And I think that it's cool that he's made contact with you.
Anything's possible Diva. Try not to agonise over it too much (yeah, I know it's basically impossible)...
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (2:45 pm)
It's hard being friends with someone you want. You're obviously still in his thoughts, too, so maybe there is still a chance (even it's not right now).
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (7:18 pm)
Reply to: SheSpecies
Thanks hon. Rather ironic when I was accused of not expressing what I feel - he knows what I feel from reading my blog but I'm not going to go any further. The words are there. What he chooses to do wtih it, is up to him.
I wonder if he picked up my mega-thinking about him the other night as I listened to that song? Maybe we can go burn some candles and howl at the moon and that will help? LOL
You've been a rock thru all of this woman.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (7:18 pm)
Reply to: baileydog
I can't do it.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (7:19 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
I just cannot go through being dumped by the same man THREE times in a month. I'm not the type to let this sort of stuff get to me. On the otherhand, maybe it's a dose of reality from my serial dating...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (7:20 pm)
Reply to: rosietulips
Keep your fingers (and toes) crossed for me. :)
posted by: JL (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (7:28 pm)
Hi. You gave me your link in a comment on my Celibate in the City blog. So, do you tell all the men you are dating about your blog? I'm really confused about how to handle the situation. I feel like I should keep it secret but that's already blown up in my face big time. Maybe I should email you.
by Redonthehead