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| Mr. Easy Access |
| 10.13.04 (1:13 am) [edit] |
|
A year ago, I was on a sales call with someone I had been trying to get an appt with for weeks. He was hot but politely declined my sales proposal on budgetary reasons. As I'm leaving his office, I get a text message on my phone from him saying: "I turned you down because we are not allowed to date vendors. Have lunch with me tomorrow?" I figure, what the heck. We have lunch. Good conversation. Feel some chemistry. Phone calls/emails back and forth. We were both traveling so little time to meet up again. He bought a new condo and invited me over for dinner. Sounded good... Until he said "Wear something with easy access." Now, there's NO way I could have misinterpreted what he said. I replied that I suddenly had a change of plans... He tried to get back in my good graces thru emails/calls but he was so f'ing cocky that I had ZERO interest in him - I don't care how hot he was! So, I have't spoken to him in 9 months. I get an email from him wanting to know how I was etc. He wanted to know what he could do to get back in my good graces (aka get laid). I reminded him of what an ass he was which conveniently escapes his memory. I'm feeling like perhaps he should be toyed with a bit. I'm meeting him for dinner tomorrow night (at the most expensive restaurant in the area). Going to let him think he's going to get lucky and then tell him I'm not interested. I still have to do some strategizing on that... He needs a serious dose of his own medicine. Payback is a bitch. ;) |
posted by: mahabarath (reply)
post date: 10.12.04 (10:31 pm)
umm if he reads your blog, wouldn't he know your plans? you are like a bond villain!! keep the plans a secret woman!
posted by: Anastacia (reply)
post date: 10.12.04 (10:35 pm)
How funny. i would have slept with them though, he seems pretty smooth LOL
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.12.04 (10:47 pm)
Reply to: mahabarath
No, he knows nothing about this...
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 10.12.04 (11:25 pm)
NO way in hell would I sleep with him either, I delight in bursting the old cocky balloon of clowns like him. I do however think an eye for an eye deed is in order. I'd e-mail him in the morning and instruct him to wear something with easy access. Keep him hanging through dinner as to why you requested that. Then tell him you're really just not 'feeling' it with him and you hope there's no hard feelings. He will of course demand to know why you led him on, at which point you can say something to the effect; "I know what it's like to get the shaft and after the fact all you wanna do is disrobe and crawl into a hot bath. I just wanted it to be easy on ya!" Ok so maybe that's not the snazziest explanation but I'd sure give him a similar dose of his own medicine, lol.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.12.04 (11:49 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Usually, I just walk away but he has copped such an attitude with me that he is begging for it. He SOO thinks he's getting some tomorrow. He asked what I'd be wearing - I said "Clothes".
I could always tell him I'm not interested in guys anymore. Or that I'd like to bear his child. (That usually scares them!) Or that I want him to participate in a 3some with my boyfriend (I'd love to see the look on his face for that one!!!)
Oh! Wait! How about I tell him that my bf is sterile and we want to have a baby and would he join us for a 3some to get me pregnant?
MWAHAHAAHAHA
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (12:54 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
lmaooooo
Im thinkin that maybe a 3 some with your 'girlfriend' would make his testicles shrivel up inside of him, lol While he's picturing the 2 girl thing in his mind, then mention the thing about the sterile BF, LOL. Double Whammy. The poor cad would probably jump at it :D
I'd also have to make a few digs at his current sex life, seeing as how he's dragging up names from the past from women he turned off quicker than a light switch. Sheesh
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (2:45 am)
*L* I hope you share what you come up with!! You are being deliciously sinister!!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (7:19 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
He did say that he hasn't boinked in 2 months. (Considering he is physically attractive, I'm surprised he hasn't wooed a few chicks. Then again, if he has to open his mouth....)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (7:19 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
me not share what goes on? Nevah!
posted by: rinna (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (7:35 am)
haha what a bastard. easy access...that's tact right there. :P
make the payback cold, public, and humiliating. :)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (7:42 am)
Reply to: rinna
It doesn't need to be cold, public or particularly humiliating. I prefer to hit them and walk away smelling like roses.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (7:43 am)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
Aha... I don't have speakers on my 'puter so I enjoy peace and quiet.
I DID hear "I'm a loser baby" on the radio yesterday and thought of you.
posted by: gambit3131 (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (9:45 am)
You should wear something with "easy access" and make mention of it many times through out the evening. That would be a pretty good tease.
posted by: producerboy (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (12:13 pm)
NO NO NO!!!! Here's what you do:
After dinner start fidgeting, go to the Ladies' Room, come back and announce that you're starting a particularly nasty herpes outbreak!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (12:30 pm)
Reply to: producerboy
Nah - I wouldn't want that to end up being a nasty rumor. It would only be fun if I said that AFTER we had unprotected sex. (ain't gonna happen - protected or not protected)
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (1:49 pm)
Wow - so does this mean your company has lawsuit potential against his company, since he was so blatant? Hope you kept the text message... and might drop a reference or two about your "attorney friend" during dinner (if you dont' have one, make one up)
What a pig. Enjoy grilling him!
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (2:27 pm)
Oh man...I can not wait to hear how this goes.
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (2:27 pm)
I must read your emails...just got back home and feel like there's a lot of catching up to be done!
posted by: producerboy (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (2:37 pm)
Reply to: almsthvn
Props to your shrewdness, almsthvn. I am humbled at your 'go for the jugular' instincts!
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (3:15 pm)
Reply to: producerboy
well, she's going for the "deflate" factor - that outta work pretty well!
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (3:15 pm)
OH! And get the name of his company's Human Resource person... drop that one in conversation, too.. ;)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (4:19 pm)
Reply to: SheSpecies
Actually, it's not happening tonight, he hasn't followed up, so I'm not going to bother. I'm going to drink my water and watch the debates.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (4:20 pm)
Reply to: almsthvn
Nah... Have to strike him with his libido
posted by: Atomsk (reply)
post date: 10.13.04 (5:35 pm)
damn thats just mean. I know he is a cocky bastard and all. But to toy with him thats got to suck to be him.
posted by: verucassalty (reply)
post date: 10.14.04 (10:30 am)
yes yes!! Flirt it up, enjoy the most expensive item.. you know he will fuck it all up by dropping some sexist line at some point, hopefuly after dessert.. drop yur face, look at him flatly and tell him "somethings never change" and walk out.
ohhh i can see it now...
LOL
by Redonthehead