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| Bitten in the ass |
| 10.05.04 (1:59 am) [edit] |
|
Sometimes keeping an honest account of your life can come back and bite you in the ass... I got a taste of karma today. "Ned" dumped me via email - yes, email. Despite my warnings, he found my blog and read it. For someone that I know, reading it is sort of like a violation of privacy - this is my sometimes journal, sometimes a place for me to vent and sometimes a public service to men everywhere to point out what not to do. I share it with people I know on a very exclusive basis... The things he said stung and I'm not quite clear on what he meant, but the tone was clear enough. I made a promise to myself that I would never edit what I wrote that was personal and I wouldn't go back and change what I wrote. It's a matter of free-association and hashing things out. So Diva had herself several shots of rum, long rambling convos with some dear friends and is about to go cry herself to sleep. I really liked this guy - despite my what I may have alluded to on here. Final though: Dumping someone via email - sucks. |
posted by: SeldomSeen (reply)
post date: 10.04.04 (11:45 pm)
It's his loss. I hope you feel better soon...
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 10.04.04 (11:58 pm)
Definitely his loss Diva! As a newly married, former 30-something single woman I must say your entries are some of the best I've ever read. I've even dubbed you the 'Carrie Bradshaw' of blogs to my friends...after sending them the URL of course. Better days are coming.
posted by: kurtmaddox (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (12:42 am)
dumping via email... definitely a heavily negative karmic event!
rejoice when others give you opportunities to bring yourself into alignment with god through the act of forgiveness. they are learning through causing pain and you are learning through extending grace.
posted by: riverrat338 (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (1:37 am)
what have you said on either blog to make him do such a thing?
sorry hon, you'll be fine..you always are.
posted by: reducto (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (1:44 am)
Uh...
"I share it with people I know on a very exclusive basis..."
-- You share it with the whole world. Anyone can access your site. People you know, people you don't know. Aliens....
"The things he said stung and I'm not quite clear on what he meant, but the tone was clear enough. I made a promise to myself that I would never edit what I wrote that was personal and I wouldn't go back and change what I wrote. It's a matter of free-association and hashing things out."
--If that is true, why do you feel bad that your ex read it? You're writing a blog that everyone can read that deals with the free association of your thoughts. This means that you don't edit, or censor, yourself. This means that you are bearing everything about you to others.
I feel bad you were dumped via email, though. Doesn't sound like that hot of a relationship to begin with.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (4:40 am)
Reply to: reducto
You misread what I said. I meant that I do not share my blog with PEOPLE I KNOW... Three people that know me have the site. Others ask but I prefer not to share with them.
If the world reads it, I really don't care.
I don't regret what I wrote or my honesty. The truth hurts sometimes. I'm sorry that he was a casualty.
If it wasn't that hot of a relationship, I wouldn't be upset about it.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (4:42 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
What a flattering comment! Thanks. And although my shoe collection is significant, I just can't bring myself to shell out $400 for a pair of Manolo's.
I'm just really worn out. I"m sure I will bounce back - what choice do I have? I desperately need a vacation and retail therapy - STAT!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (4:44 am)
Reply to: kurtmaddox
Words of wisdom. Softie that I can be sometimes, I wish no ill will. I'd pass up the Voo-Doo doll on him. (Granted, there are a few others that I'd love to...)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (4:44 am)
Reply to: riverrat338
I will be playing Gloria Gaynor's "I will survive" repeatedly for the next 3 days. Thanks.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (4:46 am)
Reply to: SeldomSeen
Thanks. I'm reconsidering an application to a convent. It's just the hem/necklines that have me concerned.
posted by: kurtmaddox (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (4:49 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
peace my child! ha ha
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (11:47 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Of course you will be fine! And neither would I cough up $400 for Manolo's...but it would be nice if we could huh?
I could really share some war stories with you, my dating fiasco's would probably amuse and give you hope! lol
And the tried and true old adage will come to pass 'Time heals all wounds...'
Looking forward to reading more from you!
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (11:54 am)
I used to have another blog which was less public than the one I have now. It was really nice to have a place to pour out my innermost thoughts in a safe place where only strangers would read it. Of course, I made the mistake of telling one person about it and he violated my trust and told another person so I found out that such blogs can't really be private if anyone in your real life knows about it. Especially if the blog is searchable on google.
So... if I ever do decide to do another blog like that, I will take more precautions.
Ok, enough about me. I have to wonder about a man who would dump someone because he read her honest thoughts. Did he simply not like them? I agree with you, too, that dumping someone via email does suck. I am glad you have good friends to talk to about whatever hurtful things he might have said.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (12:11 pm)
Reply to: lynne
I am totally with you. He read my 'other blog' and like you, it is a lot more personal, private and intimate. Three people that I know and love know about it.
He found it doing an innocent search looking for something special he was planning for me. When he recognized it was my blog, he should have stopped. I understand the temptation - but it was wrong.
He read some frustrations I vented about in the heat of the moment - not hearing from him all week, getting conflicting vibes, and me wondering if he was like all the other discards in my pile o'men.
I'm looking for my Gloria Gaynor CD of "I will survive". I'll lick my wounds and go on. (Not like we have a choice!)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (12:13 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
I don't care if I was a billionaire, I would never shell out that much for a pair of shoes. It's just wrong in my book.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (12:13 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Well, you need to start spilling the beans with the stories. I'm going to be taking a sabbatical from dating, so you can entertain us and offer public service to the men out there.
posted by: chicalookate (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (1:17 pm)
That sucks... and I have been on both ends of the online break up... not email, but IM. Rum and friends is a good way to deal. Hope you feel better soon.
posted by: posaunegr (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (3:37 pm)
Wow, what a gutless thing to do. Sorry that it happened...
GO DIVING!
posted by: Atomsk (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (3:37 pm)
just wondering how did he find your blog?
posted by: SASHASMOMMA (reply)
post date: 10.05.04 (7:29 pm)
that was a pretty schmucky thing to do...on all acounts. I dont think you have degraded him in any way so I dont know what the fuss was about. Youve said worse about others!! If he didnt like waht he read...he needed to quit reading! You'll be fine...with or with out him:)
posted by: altricial (reply)
post date: 10.06.04 (12:27 am)
What a coward! I hope you find someone SOOO much better!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.06.04 (7:47 am)
Reply to: altricial
Actually, he's not. We talked. Imagine if you had read the diary of someone you were dating - and some of the things you read were not easy to hear...
He *could* have told me to f'off and not say a word. But he spent hours sending a very thoughtful email. I talked to him about it yesterday - and it was a very good dialog. We're going to give it a couple of days and he's reconsidering. This might be a good thing for us. I *really* dig this guy. And I hope it develops.
posted by: Misguided (reply)
post date: 10.06.04 (8:13 am)
yeah it sucks havin someone invade that space...and for him breaking up with u shows he is no man...not everything is perfect and he should know everyone has days of lashing out...so he needs 2 get his shit straight
posted by: altricial (reply)
post date: 10.06.04 (10:56 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
well - that's true. but that's why diaries are personal and most people know not to read those of their loved ones. like listening at doors - you're bound to hear something you don't like.
I hope that everything works out to your best interests, whether he stays or goes.
posted by: verucassalty (reply)
post date: 10.06.04 (11:19 am)
I have the same fear that someone i KNOW will read my blog and be hurt by the brutal honesty in it. I look at this as my journal as well... and i am sure there are entries that are rather raw and would be extremely difficult for greg to handle.... its a shame you lost your privacy that way...
i am sure that ned getting in touch with you by email was where he found his comfort level.. it may have been a bit much to discuss it in person.. he also may not have known how you would have handled it..
many kudos to you for not editing yourself.. you are who you are and i hope that he see teh beauty in your genuine honesty.
good luck doll!
posted by: Atomsk (reply)
post date: 10.06.04 (9:33 pm)
besides dumbing someone over email/phone/letter is a cop-out anyways. He should be man enough to do it to your face anyways.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.07.04 (6:51 pm)
Reply to: posaunegr
Hi stranger - how the heck are you? Long time no see!!!!
by Redonthehead