While making a trip to the hardware store to get more gook for Fernando the roofer, I decided to run into my local grocery store for some spinach and kitty litter. (Not spinach-flavored kitty litter mind you!)

I forgot...
It is Geezer Day at the grocery store. *Geezer Day is when the grocery store offers 5% off all shopping for folks over 85 (actually it's younger but those are the only folks there when I visit accidentally)

Sure sign it's Geezer Day:
1. Every Handicapped Parking Spot is full.
2. There are at least 3 retirement home vans at the front of the curb.
3. Inevitably, there is an older person walking down the center of the parking lot lane, clueless to the fact there are big heavy cars that could plow their butts over.
4. All the motorized carts are taken.
5. There will be an older person with their grocery cart in the middle of the food aisle, standing there blocking traffic while perusing which cracker has more insoluable fiber grams. (Now you already realize that by getting your own grocery cart, that you are making the process even more complicated to maneuver - so you opt to juggle the items you need by hand)
  a. Should you ask them gently if you may pass, it's as if you said you eat puppies for a hobby.
  b. They pretend they can't hear you so you resort to going ALL the way around the other aisle and make your entrance from the other end of the aisle.
6. Lorraine and Matilda will have both their carts stopped in either direction gabbing about denture powders or something. You again, gently ask if you could scoot by - and if they move, it's slower than molasses on a -40 degree day.
7. You figure you'll bypass the geezers in line at checkout by doing the self-scan route. Of course, they are all taken up with geezers that have 50 items in their cart when the signs say 10 items or less/NO checks.
    & nbsp;a. The geezers stop after each item is scanned to confirm the price on the screen and then slowly put it in to a bag.
    & nbsp;b. The geezers can't find the bar code requiring the attendant to run back and forth between geezers.
     c. The geezers inevitably feel compelled to pay exact change - usually in some combination of pennies and dimes OR they pay by check and act shocked when they are asked to produce a drivers license.
8. Oh and, don't forget about the coupons. 79.3104% of the coupons scanned are either outdated or for an incorrect item. And they feel the need to debate it with the attendant.
9. Then they get the receipt and refuse to move until they review it yet again to make sure they got their savings of $1.42
10. Upon leaving the check out area, they feel compelled to stop to chat again with someone, blocking everyone else from leaving the store. This time it's usually about hot flashes or brown spots.
11. Only to then signal some other set of geezers to stand in front of your car gabbing so you can neither enter your car and deposit your groceries nor pull out. (If you ever get in the car in your own lifetime)

*Mind you, I'm carrying a 25lb bag of kitty litter this entire time.

If they have Geezer day, I believe that they should also have a day for a Geezer-Free day. I'd pay 5% extra for that.