When the storm formerly known as Hurricane Frances blew through Atlanta on Labor Day evening, several leaks appeared from my roof. (Joys of home ownership - bah!)

A friend recommended "Fernando" with hesitation. He asked me "Do you speak spanish?" I replied "No, but I'm fairly fluent in french." My friend advised me that Fernando doesn't have a very firm grasp on the english language...

So, smart me, I call a friend and ask him how to say "My friend recommended you - my roof is leaking and I was hoping you could come out and fix it before Hurricane Ivan blows through".

I call Fernando and recite my spanish-for-dummies sentence. He says "Ok, donde esta tu live?" I think "oh shit". Trying to give a man that speaks little english directions is a challenge to say the least. He's on the cell phone driving around - lost. I finally hear "McDonalds" and figure out where he is. I tell him to stay put and I'd go find him...

Fernando investigated my leaks (including punching a wall in my ceiling to determine the source of the leak). I'm not quite sure what our conversation consisted of, but, to my understanding, I was to pick up some roof leak fixy stuff, some sheetrock, some mud stuff and he'd be here this afternoon to fix the leaks and it'd be $150... I need to keep my eye out for any French -speaking repairmen - then I'd be set!

After the Fernando incident, I go pick up the supplies he (I think) indicated at the local Home Depot... I come home and see a shadowy kinda thing on my hardwood floor. I think it's one of the cat's toys. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It's a bird. Dead. I turn on the lights and there a f'ing feathers EVERYWHERE. No blood. And there is Sassy, my dear sweet cat, with some feathers in her fur. BUSTED! I know she meant well. It was her instinct and she was so proud - bringing it to me but I had to scold the hell out of her.

I feel guilty... Then I spent about 2 hours cleaning the feathers up from all over the place. The guilt passed. ;)