Tonight I met the man that a friend thought I'd enjoy. Again - my friend  started off describing "Marshall" as "45, good shape, has a hot tub and well-hung". My reply was "Do you really think that's what is important to me?" However, I respect my friend's perceptive comments, so I thought I'd give him a chance...
"Marshall" and I exchanged a few emails. They were amusing, he could spell and use proper grammar, and didn't start off with telling me how he's going to boink me until the cows come home.

So we progress to a phone call. I didn't feel any sort of "ZING!" when we spoke, but again, considering my friend's recommendat ion, knowledge of me, and the fairly entertaining exchange via email, I decided to meet him for a drink tonight. However, he IS considerably older than my preference and he looks like someone I know that I despise.

He insists on sitting side by side in the booth at the restaurant. It was difficult to make eye contact and talk that way. (Smarter move would have been sitting at a table or one of the round booths..)

He orders a bottle of wine and some spicy shrimp appetizer. Doesn't ask me if I want anything. He offers me one of the 4. (how generous.) I say that I didn't get dinner before, so I was going to order a soup or something. He said that he guessed he'd pay for it. (HUH?) I told him not to worry, that I could pay for my soup.

The conversation was SO boring. I was literally stifling yawns. Wishing I had set up an emergency escape call...  

He doesn't look 45. Closer to 60. He 'confesses' about 1/2 way through our meeting that he's actually 51. (I still say 58 minimum). Bottom line, he lied. (He said in his email to me that he's 48.) And his justification didn't hold water - said women constantly screen him out online because he's over 50. Um, I didn't meet him online and he typed it clearly in his email...

He talked about his ex-wife constantly - although her referred to her each time as his 'wife'. About how they became 'swingers' to spice up their marriage. Yes, he was (and I'm guessing still is) into swinging. EWWWW.

I chuckled. That was not only strike three, but the end of the series. Not to sound snobbish but I'm 20 years younger than him... Who the hell does he think he is??? He asked me what my thoughts were regarding him. I told him that I was just soaking things in and thinking. That I liked to reflect and 'digest' things. (I didn't want to tell him I'd rather poke my eyes out with the fork in front of me than see him again. Rather do it by email rather than cause a scene.)

So he offers to follow me home. I tell him I can manage just fine. (I had 1/2 a glass of wine.) He said "You just don't want me to know where you live." I said "Yes."