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| Your Input Appreciated |
| 08.31.04 (8:49 am) [edit] |
|
Last night I got a comical email from the guy I called the potential stalker. I felt no spark and he was rather drole (CP will like that word). Then he kept calling and calling and calling. I finally sent him an email asking him to backoff. (which he did). He had REALLY wanted to go to the Blondie concert last week - so I invited him last minute because my intended date's flight home was delayed. The concert was a wash (rained out), and I felt the evening was as well... His email said "I enjoyed spending time with you. Tell me your thoughts. I'm thinking that right now you would like an out of sight, out of mind relationship with no strings attached. Talk to me so we can figure out how to proceed. I enjoy your friendship and should something develop in the future I would not resist..:-) How's your lunch/dinner schedule looking? G." I needed a laugh. My first thought was "Were you on the same date as me????" Listen, I appreciate a guy that can communicate and say what he wants, but I don't think I could have been more aloof during the evening. We didn't share a single even remotely intimate moment - no smooch, no hug, no hand-holding, I didn't even flirt with him (and I am a flirty girl). I have absolutely NO interest in dating him, or a "no strings attached" situation. I would rather eat mulch than spend any more time with him. What do you think I should say to him? I need to be firm but prefer not to be too harsh. P.S. The Cute Plumber called Sunday night. (Haven't even bothered to listen to his VM) And he called three times last night. I just have no desire to hear him talk about his relationship with the girl that's playing him... |
posted by: Dariana (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (5:54 am)
I guess my first thought is you shouldn't have invited him to the concert if you knew he had more than "friendly" feelings for you. But, at this point you need to make it clear to him that you were only being friendly and are not interested in anything more than that. Good Luck!
posted by: Plainclothes21 (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (5:59 am)
its funny cause he just made sure with that email that if a relationship were to form which i highly doubt that there would be strings attached
posted by: rinna (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (6:03 am)
G,
Sorry, but I am fully booked out for the next two years eating mulch.
S
posted by: grrlpink (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (6:12 am)
i personally just wouldnt respond at all...
posted by: Cyberpal (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (6:16 am)
Got to be cruel to be kind sometimes Scubs... you shd know that... either nip it in the bud now, or have him on your case forever!! I know which I'd do.... no scrimping or holding back... sock it to him!
Love the 'word' btw.... my kinda vocab lol! :)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (6:20 am)
Reply to: Dariana
I 'thought' I did make it clear. I told him that my date's flight home was delayed b/c of the weather. I invited him 2 hours before the concert. I made a point of paying for my own train pass, he offered to let me stand under his umbrella but I passed on that as well - keeping my distance. When the concert was offically rained out around 10pm, he suggested dinner and drinks or a movie or 'going to my place' but I rebuffed them all - said I wanted to head home. Other than a flashing sign on my forehead saying "NOT INTERESTED, STRINGS OR NOT", I tried at every opportunity to show I wasn't nibbling.
posted by: gambit3131 (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (6:22 am)
I feel like I am reiterating what everyone else has said. From the start I wouldn't have invited this person unless it was stated at the beginning it was just friends nothing else. Now the box is open and you can do two things, not respond or tell him the truth. I personally hate it when I do not get a response, even if it is a blow off letter. But at least with the blow off letter I knew where I stood, even if it hurt. Of course I backed off after that. However, there are those that still do not get the hint. If you feel he is one that wouldn't get the hint if it were attached to a baseball bat that hit him in the face, then do not respond. How's that for a wishy washy answer. Laugh
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (6:22 am)
Reply to: Plainclothes21
Au contraire, I think there'd be a complete web of strings. I forgot to mention that he asked me to join him for dinner with his family coming into town that Sunday. I laughed and said that "I don't do families." I have a feeling his mother would have been doing a seating chart in her head.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (6:26 am)
Reply to: grrlpink
When I didn't return his calls before, he called incessantly. (Usuallyafter a couple of unreturned calls, you would *think* he'd get the picture) His perception of things is apparently off, deluded, or thinks I'm playing hard to get.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (6:29 am)
Reply to: gambit3131
Idea JUST popped into my head... Remember those Japanese Monster Movies - like Godzilla vs Hello Kitty? What about I have a spar between "G" and the guy I found out was lying about so much? (The latter would completely kick his ass...)
maybe saint could just booby-trap them both. Saint likes boobies. LOL
posted by: TigerLilly (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (8:45 am)
ack its bad...tell him straight...glad I dont have to tho...he sounds persistant:/
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 08.31.04 (9:20 am)
Yeah. Just tell him exactly how you feel. Honesty doesnt have to be mean. You can simply say that you arent interested in him.
posted by: deviant1 (reply)
post date: 09.01.04 (10:03 am)
If all else fails I have found the statement " I would rather jerk off than ever have sex with you" usually does the trick ....
On that note, have you gotton around to replacing 'Mr. Trusty'?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 09.01.04 (12:15 pm)
Reply to: deviant1
That was a birthday present to myself. The gift that keeps on giving. (giggle)
posted by: Sybil (reply)
post date: 09.01.04 (4:13 pm)
How's this (in a return e-mail, of course)
G,
Thanks for the date the other night. I had a time.
You seem to be a nice enough guy, and will make swell boyfriend for any girl, but me.
Take care, and good luck.
by Redonthehead