I just don't learn. I 'thought' I was a smart chick. I have 3 degrees, graduated with honors, MENSA, all that stuff...

But apparently, I've met my match...

In the hammock.

For several days, I've tried to gracefully (and not so gracefully) recline, relax and rejuvenate in my newly-purchased hammock. (With spreader bar according to Lynne - which sounds rather kinky to me!)

Yet, my ass continually ends up tossed out of the contraption.

I've tried re-hanging it. Making sure everything is level. Still flips me out. I'm convinced that either the hammock is possessed or there is a unique gravitational deficit under my deck that is pulling on one side of my body. Or that one side of my ass weighs like 30 bls more than the other - but I looked in the mirror, nekkid, and they look exactly the same.

So what did I do today? (Collective sigh from the peanut gallery)

I've gotten a little bit of sun on the front of my legs. Now the back of my legs needed some sun...

So of course, I decided to try laying face down on the hammock.

Brilliant, wouldn't you say?

I WISH you had been there to see me holding on to all 4 corners of the hammock - with my arse in the air - struggling as it wobbled back and forth to steady itself.

Then I had the revelation of "WTF were you thinking????"

But I realized that it was sink or swim time. And thank goodness for all my ab exercises.... I laid down. Face down. And sunned for a while. Scared to death to move, I might add.

Apparently I drifted off to sleep for a while. Woke up, dismounted  (translation: ended up on my ass again) and realized that I now have hammock criss-crosses on my face and chest.

I'm gonna look lovely for my date tonight, aren't I?