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| My Plumber and Poetry |
| 06.19.04 (6:30 am) [edit] |
|
[i]Consider this one of my 'best of' since I never know when my 'puter is going to tank again...[/i] I have a ritual. Every Sunday evening, I crank up the water heater to full blast, fill up my huge tub with steaming hot water and bath oils and "smelly salts", surround myself with candles and put on some relaxing tuneage. I refer to this as my date with "Mr. Bubble" - although no Mr. Bubble is involved. I outgrew him when I was 8. A couple of weeks ago, I emerged from my bath, all soft and feeling ethereal, donned my purple silk robe and headed downstairs for some cold water. My cat is sitting on my kitchen table, staring at the ceiling as water is steadily dripping from the ceiling. My thoughts - "Oh shit!" I grab some towels, bowls and the relaxing aura from my bath is ruined. I run back upstairs to pull the drain to stop the water from continuing. I spend the evening cleaning up the mess. Suddenly, I'm in the market for a plumber... I ask around to my fellow home-owning friends for referrals. Being a single girl, I didn't want to be taken advantage of... A friend recommends "Matt" the plumber. I call him. He says he'll be over on Saturday. He sounds nice and somewhat intelligent. Saturday arrives. I'm nervous. People have been saying it's probably the seals on my Jacquzzi and it's going to be expensive. I get the door - Matt the plumber arrives. And Matt the plumber is a TOTAL hottie! Up we go to my bedroom - I'm thinking, damn, he's the cutest guy in a long time that been up in my lair. If he had been wearing a tool belt, I might have attacked him right there on the spot. Matt the cute plumber leans over looking in my tub doodling with things - I 'm thinking - ohh what a cute butt! This is one time I'd LUV to see plumber's crack. In no time at all, Matt the hot plumber figures out some rubber doo-hickey has rotted around the overflow thingy. He runs out to his truck, gets another one, and slaps that puppy on. He asks if there's anything else he can do while he's here. (I thought of saying "me?" but figured that would be too pretentious - especially since he bills by the hour! LOL) Alas, he leaves. He calls the next evening - remembering how I said I take my Sunday evening baths, he wanted to know if it was working ok. (How sweet and thoughtful!) Then he starts talking about how he writes poetry and wanted to know if I'd read it and give him feedback. I thought - "ooooo, he fixes things AND he writes poetry?" Hot Matt the Plumber emails me some of his poetry. I laugh, I cry, I laugh some more. It's bad. I mean really really bad. He should stick to just being a hot plumber |
posted by: Atomsk (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (4:14 pm)
LOL well the real question is are you going to put up with the bad poetry and date him or is it quits right now. LOL
posted by: SASHASMOMMA (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (4:56 pm)
ok...so did you tell him his poetry stunk?? What DID you do??
posted by: Coldtones (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (5:07 pm)
::hesitantly admits::: GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK!!!!!
posted by: JennsAbsent (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (6:53 pm)
I LOVE my baths! Steaming hot water and a cold glass of wine. I couldn't imagine heaven any sweeter.
Tell us what happened with Matt the hot plumber!
posted by: forevermystical (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (7:24 pm)
Glad you're back!! :)
posted by: riverrat338 (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (7:36 pm)
now takling bets on if diva hooks up with the new guy now to be futurely refered to as "hot plumber bad poet matt"
Odds open up 20:1 she'll at least have one date and side bets of 10:1 she'll test to see if his kissing skills are better than his poetry. :op
posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (8:01 pm)
Bahhhh...I would like to throw in some more odds:
50:1 Broken up old police guy can whoop Matt the Bad Poet, even in his current condition
100:1 Diva takes pity on busted up police man, and does a mercy date with him, just to make him feel better.
500:1 She lets him take her out more than once.
Not ever offering odds. She decides he is semi cute, and lets him keep a pair of boots (for just in case...grin) at her place
posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (8:02 pm)
Riverrat, think you can handle $100 on the first set of your odds, and $200 on the last set?
posted by: LastPoeticKiss (reply)
post date: 06.20.04 (9:22 pm)
i think the people you asked were TRYING to fix you up!
posted by: leisa (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (12:36 am)
why don't you offer to help him with some 'poetry'?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (3:09 am)
Reply to: XAirborneRTO
Huh?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (3:09 am)
Reply to: XAirborneRTO
If he called her sometime, you never know what she might do.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (3:11 am)
Reply to: JennsAbsent
Absolutely nothing. He's hot but couldn't hold an indepth intelligent conversation.
Plus, he has a 6 year old daughter - that's against my dating guidelines. I'm not good with young'uns. ;)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (3:12 am)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
Hide them. Somewhere up high. You should duct tape him to a chair so you can enjoy a bath without wondering what he's up to.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (3:13 am)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
I tried belly dancing when my ankle was in a cast - I could do it when it was at the slow pace but when she said 'lets speed it up' I felt like I was having convulsions and looked like a total idiot.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (3:24 am)
Reply to: leisa
He was great to look at and good with a wrench, but his lack of intelligence wasn't enough for this wench. Ha ha
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (3:25 am)
Reply to: SASHASMOMMA
I would never tell someone that their poetry sucked. It's so personal. He called a couple of times and I was polite but we're not on the same wavelength.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (3:25 am)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
LOL - that's b/c he doesn't have hair?
posted by: riverrat338 (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (5:38 am)
ok odds seem to have changed with new information
2:1 she won't date cuz he has a daughter.
but i think she should just go get it out of her system. check out his tool.
posted by: riverrat338 (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (5:39 am)
Xairborn: No i dont think i could back up those first odds. Scuba is too unpredictable.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (6:43 am)
Reply to: riverrat338
Me? Unpredictable? Not really...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (6:44 am)
Reply to: riverrat338
I actually have my eye on someone else anyway. ;)
posted by: Cyberpal (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (6:47 am)
Plumbing and poetry, could always tell was just NOT a match made in heaven!! :-P
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (10:53 am)
LOL Oh this is soooo funny! (and damnit it's 21 June and I'm only NOW seeing it...I'm happy your blog is up!! I missed your purple hues.)
He was DEFINITELY trying to work it on you. LOL If he's nice enough (we've all ready established he's cute enough LOL), he might be worth keeping around!..a little bad poetry can be worked around. And besides, maybe all he needs to correct that is a beautiful muse. :-)
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (10:58 am)
Reply to: riverrat338
Ah I just read the rest of the comments and it seems we have a mismatch. LOL
posted by: riverrat338 (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (11:27 am)
nah, let's face it that guy probably wouldn't know a haiku from a roll of duct tape.
posted by: riverrat338 (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (11:31 am)
here's a haiku for you:
Hottie plumber matt
can fix a leak but cant rhyme
onto the next matt.
posted by: siddharth (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (9:50 pm)
well i'm a shower guy myself, *figures not to say anymore*
well Matt the plumber!!! huh!
by Redonthehead