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| Beware of men in kilts |
| 06.13.04 (3:34 pm) [edit] |
|
I got a call from a guy who I'm not quite sure how to categorize. We are friends, we have a professional relationship, we've dated some, and we flirt but it's never going to go anywhere because he's a manwhore. I need to come up with a new term for these sort of men... Anyway, the guy, we'll call him (I'm searching for random names of men that actually don't have a role in my life) Jimmy. Ok, his name for all purposes is "Jimmy". Jimmy is a musician - quite accomplished and professionally recognized actually. He plays bluegrass, country, cajun, and celtic music. I was mesmerized when I saw him play a fiddle - [i]I have to admit watching his fingers turned me on![/i] Anyway, we became friends. I helped him out with marketing ideas to promote his music and helped design his last CD cover. Jimmy and I went out on a couple of dates, but I have to admit, I wasn't impressed with him in date mode. Showed up in a dirty shirt - pizza stain or something. Didn't open doors, etc. We did have a smooch or two, it wasn't too shabby. But, he's got a bad case of that male disease called "it's all about me baby-itis". I think it's chronic. So, we flirt occasionally, but we're better off as friends. Back to that weekend... Jimmy calls me and asks if I'd like to go to a Celtic festival about 90 mins north of Atlanta. I had wanted to go to another festival intown, but I figured it'd be entertaining to spend the day with Jimmy. I drive over to his place - first time there - to meet him. I'm greeted at the door by Jimmy in a skirt. (Excuse me, I mean kilt). He actually looks pretty darn cute in that Scottish get-up, except his hat (referred to as a "Tam"). Regardless, it looks dopey - it's a black hat with a HUGE red pom-pom on top and ribbons down the back. He hadn't warned me that he would be all "gussied" up. His house, albeit cute and cottage-like, was SUCH a bachelor pad. No black leather furniture or bikini-clad chicks on the walls, but once again, my seldom-revealed compulsive desire to clean suddenly hit me. He told me to have a seat while he got the directions. (There was no place to sit that wasn't covered with musical instruments or "stuff".) Clothes in the den that he had stepped out of, chili-pepper Xmas lights adorning his eating area walls, and we won't even touch on the kitchen... I offer to drive because my car is, shall we say, a little bit more comfortable. We end up taking my car, but he drives. He does fill my tank with gas on the way... We get to this festival - and have to trample thru a marshy wet-sawdust path. My feet are soaked. Did I mention it's probably 50 degrees and VERY gusty? (VERY important point later) So there we are at the festival - basically 50-70 year old men in skirts. Everywhere. And apparently this festival brings out a lot of folks that are, shall we say, believe in some sort of racial superiority? There were no white hats or sheets or anything, but there was a definite sect of people that would not be going to any NAACP awards anytime soon. We are walking around the different displays as I freeze my arse off. Jimmy decides he wants to get something to eat. The choice is limited - I forget what they called it - something like the scottish sword. It's a baked potato, pricked a bunch of times and soaked in butter, melted cheddar cheese, with sliced pork and more cheese on top. (Can you say heart-attack on a stick?) Might I add, that thing was impossible to eat neatly - I had to keep wiping the cheese from his face. The wind picks up - and kilts are blowing up left and right. And these men don't seem to be that bothered about it. First of all, it's damn cold with the wind. Secondly, there are some children there. Not a single one of them was wearing ANYTHING under those kilts. We're talking older men. It was NOT a pretty sight. Jimmy, of course, kept flashing me from time to time to keep distracting me. Something about a man in a skirt that brings out the exhibitionist in him. Some of the music talent recognizes Jimmy and brings him on stage to perform. It was fun seeing him in action. We finally hit the road to drive back home. He makes the comment about the "easy accessibility" for a hand job with his kilt while he drives. I laugh. It "ain't gonna happen." Why? Well, I would get nothing in return and I'm not going to start a trend of him getting all the attention. And, even if I was interested in him, my windows aren't tinted and it was a very congested day - lots of SUVs and Vans passing by and I didn't want to traumatize a child. I replied that if he first plays me like he does his fiddle and harmonica, I'd reconsider. (I literally saw his jaw drop!) That shut him up. But I did make a mental note to get my windows tinted should I ever be in a car with a hot guy in a kilt. |
posted by: InYourHead (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (12:36 pm)
Curran and Danny wore kilts when we were in Canada...Curran's was red and Danny's was yellow. it was great.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (12:44 pm)
Reply to: InYourHead
Questions:
1) What did they wear UNDER the kilt?
2) Was it a windy day?
3) Were children and others traumatized as a result?
;)
posted by: Squidge (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (1:11 pm)
Nice blog n gud story. I like your attitude to this guy. Nice words 2 shut him up lol
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (1:14 pm)
Reply to: Squidge
Thanks. I'll post a later conversation we had tomorrow. It's funny as hell...
Glad you enjoy. Sorry 'bout the football game.
posted by: Atomsk (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (1:17 pm)
LOL my god that has to be a crazy as date. Kilts blowing and a guy begging for a hand job in the car. Sorry to say i am not to impressed with your friends tack. I mean if all this was just to get a little something something on the ride home i nor any other guy that i know would have things go like that. Crazy days indeed.
Manwhore LOL man that always makes me laugh.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (1:18 pm)
Reply to: Atomsk
Manwhore pretty much sums him up. He's a talented musician but if his mind isn't on music, it's on getting laid.
posted by: faith82 (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (1:48 pm)
LOL! My boyfriend's Scottish, so I found that whole thing quite cute =D
posted by: petalpower (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (1:49 pm)
hehehe
posted by: sunnyc (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (1:59 pm)
Sounds like an interesting date...hehehe...=) That cheese potato sounded good.
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (2:24 pm)
LMAO Sounds like Jimmy was a hoot!
I hate those little hats, too. I've seen some really good lookin guys in kilts but that hat just kills it. LOL
posted by: BLOU (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (3:38 pm)
Great read! I think "Jimmy" is more friend material. Hey, if he wanted a hand job that bad he could let you drive and he could have looked after himself .. what with all that easy access he was talking about!
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (4:47 pm)
That was a funny story. Thanks for sharing. FWIW, I think kilts are really sexy in a weird sort of way. I keep thinking I should take a trip to Scotland or something because even though guys in kilts are sexy, guys in kilts with Scottish accents are *even* more sexy.
One time when I was in Nova Scotia, I went to a Ceiledh and there were some hot musicians in kilts. YUM.
posted by: LastPoeticKiss (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (5:47 pm)
haha...that was great!
tinted windows..scotland...yes! *naughty ideas*
posted by: ReDPLaiDChUcKs (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (6:02 pm)
hahaha very entertaining story!
posted by: misskendy (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (6:58 pm)
Too funny!
posted by: seagrass (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (7:30 pm)
lmao!! The tinted car window closer is a classic!! I'm in the St. Andrews Society and an unabashed kilt wearer...but it's serious business! LOL!!
posted by: riverrat338 (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (8:55 pm)
at least "Ya didna haf ta eat sum hagas, lassie."
good times....50 degrees? in north GA? in june? wow....sounds good to me!
posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply)
post date: 06.13.04 (10:24 pm)
Diva, and what IS the problem with going "regimental"? I mean, it IS comfortable....and not to mention, it scares the sheep.....(grin)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (5:45 am)
Reply to: XAirborneRTO
When it's cold and windy, you need to have some weights to keep the skirt, I mean kilt, down.
And seeing up 70 year old men's kilts is not my idea of a leisure past time.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (5:45 am)
Reply to: riverrat338
It was in late March... ;)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (5:46 am)
Reply to: seagrass
But what to do on a windy day - these guys didn't even bother to try to keep the kilts down.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (5:47 am)
Reply to: LastPoeticKiss
You don't have to go to Scotland - just hit a celtic festival. ;)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (5:48 am)
Reply to: SheSpecies
I tried to explain to him that - he's got a rather round head/face - which is shaved bald - and that one just wasn't flattering. He has another one that isn't quite as dorky looking. If he wasn't such a manwhore... but some things can't be changed.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (5:49 am)
Reply to: DayDrmBlvr
I throw in an "ass" every once in a while. There's always 'bum' too.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (5:50 am)
Reply to: lynne
There definitely are sexy men in kilt. My date was - but it was all the older dudes that I found scary.
posted by: Saint027 (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (8:18 am)
Did you post your kilt fetish on Cmaze's blog? lol
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (8:38 am)
Reply to: Saint027
I would not describe that as a fetish. My date was wearing a kilt. He looked cute in it - but he's also looked cute in jeans.
posted by: Saint027 (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (8:41 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Whatever. You and your date can both dress out of your closet. JK You know I do have that thing with the fullfy pink undies though. ROFL
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (8:48 am)
Reply to: Saint027
A fetish is something that really turns someone on - a kilt doesn't particularly do that for me.
And, I haven't given him the time of day since we got back. ;)
Three strike rule. He's out.
posted by: Saint027 (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (8:55 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Swing and a miss huh? I don't think I'd go for a chick in a kilt, so I don't blame you. Plus, he kinda sounds like a hee-haw. Ask for a HJ in the car on the way back? Who uses that line (and actually gets it anyways)? lol
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (8:57 am)
Reply to: Saint027
His method works for him quite a bit actually. (not with me, but it does with a lot of other ladies...)
posted by: Saint027 (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (8:59 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Really?? Wear a kilt and ask for a handjob ... hmm ... nope. Can't sink that low. You know, the whole "nice guy" thing. Thats why I don't get laid ever isn't it? JK
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (9:00 am)
Reply to: Saint027
It's the whole 'musician' thing. He's not normally in a kilt... He knows how to work the crowd and the ladies.
posted by: Saint027 (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (9:02 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Ladies man = NOT me Ha ha ha
We can only be who we are ...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (9:05 am)
Reply to: Saint027
So if you're not a ladies man... does that make you a man's man?
:o
posted by: Saint027 (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (9:11 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
ewwww .. no.
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (9:41 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
LOL
I know what you mean about the manwhore thing. It's cool when you know they're just gonna be YOUR whore...having to worry about them whoring around with everyone else is a problem though.
posted by: Cyberpal (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (1:13 pm)
I know for a fact that the right way toi wear a kilt is commando!! No doubt!! But as for the guy himself.. well the less said the better! Man whore... I'd say "Man-slag" better suits.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (1:42 pm)
Reply to: Cyberpal
As I saw, commando is the way to wear the kilt - it got confirmed too often. If it was 100 hot nubile studs in kilts, I wouldn't be complaining.
"Slag" don't mean squat here.
posted by: Cyberpal (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (1:45 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Ok! then!! :-P
posted by: Greybeard (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (4:54 pm)
Gigolo, playboy or he-slut might work as the substitute term, depending upon the true nature of his situation.
posted by: Greybeard (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (4:57 pm)
Ahhh and men that play no real role in you life… that could be insignificant other.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (7:13 pm)
Reply to: Greybeard
Gigalo and playboy don't have the same ring, punch or connotation of man-whore. He-slut might work...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (7:14 pm)
Reply to: Greybeard
"Ahhh and men that play no real role in you life… that could be insignificant other. "
Whaaaa? Translate pls.
posted by: islandArtist (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (8:27 pm)
LOL girl you are too funnY!!
I really like the fact that you cut his 'ME' game down before it had a chance to start.
YOU ARE FOREVER MY HERO.
posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply)
post date: 06.14.04 (9:58 pm)
Well Diva, since the kilt didn't turn you on, how about "nubile farm girl, and lonely old farm boy"? I mean, we could go out to the lake, and watch the submarine races.....(grin)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.15.04 (5:12 am)
Reply to: XAirborneRTO
Kiltboy was cute in his quilt but his attitude was not. That nullifies the cute-factor.
And I'm not a farm girl... And since you can't tell the diff b/w a sheep and a goat, I have questions about your farm-boy status.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.15.04 (5:12 am)
Reply to: XAirborneRTO
Kiltboy was cute in his quilt but his attitude was not. That nullifies the cute-factor.
And I'm not a farm girl... And since you can't tell the diff b/w a sheep and a goat, I have questions about your farm-boy status.
posted by: J (reply)
post date: 06.15.04 (9:48 am)
ok so u gonna hook it up or what? lol
posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply)
post date: 06.16.04 (4:42 am)
Now Diva, that just not fair! I grew up on 180 acres of fruit trees, and can tell the difference between Grand Reds, Silverspurs, Red Chiefs, and Starkings (those all are different types of red delicious apples, for your info). I mean, the only living critter we had on the farm (ranch, technically), besides our gun dogs and the el pussy cato, was my hoss.
Now, if you get me close to a goat/sheep/cow/pig, I can usually correctly identify which is which 4 out of 5 times....(grin)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.16.04 (4:51 am)
Reply to: XAirborneRTO
I'm a city slicker and due to my experience at petting zoos (insert joke here), I can correctly identify the difference between a sheep and a goat 5 out of 5 times.
And regarding apples, I can read the little sticker on the apple at the grocery store just fine.
Goats and sheep don't have labels. So I think I'm more resourceful. LOL
by Redonthehead