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Diva's Dating Rules....
Single 30-something Female Dating Debacles and Random Musings in Coffee Shops |
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posted by: misskendy (reply) post date: 06.11.04 (8:38 pm) LOL this is a geat list Diva! #20 is good...if they can't kiss for shit they are GONE!! posted by: Coldtones (reply) post date: 06.11.04 (10:55 pm) You know what... thats a nice list and i'm damn proud not to be making the cut... you made me feel like the piece of shit i truly am. And if i make a list similar to that one, no girls will ever come to my site again. Once i start pointing out human flaws that they all have, it will be a wrap. posted by: Coldtones (reply) post date: 06.11.04 (10:59 pm) You are way too good for me, i'm gonna go ruin some girls life now, maybe make her so mad that she goes in to her future relationships with a bunch of guidelines instead of letting love do the work posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (3:57 am) Reply to: Coldtones It's a list of things that are important to me. Yes, I keep a sense of humor about it but they are things that, in my experience, are essential for avoiding those pitfalls again. Let's see... I shy away from married men, felons, smokers, those that have no ambition or direction in life, character. One that usually gets people in an uproar is kids. I made a choice not to have them. I don't want that sort of lifestyle - and it's not fair to a guy or myself to start dating if he has them. (And for those of you that have kids - bless you for doing it - you have the patience of a saint but the mommy gene skipped me by) You'll note I don't make a single comment about appearances - I don't care about height, weight, hair, dick size, etc. That's not what is important to me - I've dated models, famous musicians, athletes and some physically unattractive guys that friends have been so rude to say "why are you with him???" It's the person inside. And I also know myself, what I want in life and what I don't want. I would rather be alone the rest of my life than to settle down with some of the guys that influenced the list. It's not a matter of not being good enough or not. It's my own personal priorities. It's not random and you have to remember as well that I'm a few years older than you. I bet you have turned your nose at women based on being too fat, too short, too skinny, breast size, etc. If your honest with yourself... ;) posted by: Cyberpal (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (4:59 am) Not asking for much are you? But I like them all the same. ;) posted by: lynne (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (5:33 am) Well, I dont think my list has nearly as many things on it. But recently I met a guy who fits all of your criteria and I really like him so maybe you are on to something! ;) posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (5:48 am) Reply to: lynne It's my list for MY needs (some folks think it's a one-size-fits-all for EVERYONE). You should have your own list based on what you need. (But, you're welcome to use mine for suggestions ;) posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (5:49 am) Reply to: Cyberpal Ok - if you were describing what's critical for someone you date, what would you list? posted by: lynne (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (6:19 am) Reply to: ScubaDiva Oh, I do have my own list. And this guy meets all of my criteria too. It is just a coincidence that he meets yours as well. For instance, I dont care if a guy has children or not but this guy happens to not have kids. And while kids wouldnt be a deal breaker for me, I have to admit that when I think about it, it is nice that he doesnt because it means there wont be some ex lurking in the shadows and if we were to hook up, we could totally live the DINK lifestyle which has its advantages. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (6:21 am) Reply to: KRAZEDONE Agreed. yuck yuck yuck. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (6:22 am) Reply to: lynne What's on your list that isn't on mine? posted by: lynne (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (6:48 am) This is a list I made recently: Here is my list of minimum requirements: 1. He must be intellegent enough to hold a decent conversation. 2. He has to have some culture. I like to talk about art, poetry, literature, etc. He has to have at least some interest in those things. An ideal would be someone very well read. 3. He has to appreciate my sense of humor which is a bit subtle at times. He also has to have a sense of humor too and be able to make me laugh. 4. He has to be kind and good hearted. 5. He has to like animals, especially dogs (I have three) or he has to be able to tolerate them. 6. He has to be passionate about something. It doesnt have to be the same things I am passionate about although that would be nice. He just has to have some passion. I would prefer it to be something like books rather than watching football or something but I would accept just about any passion. 7. I have to find him physically attractive. This isnt a hard one though, I find a very very wide range of people attractive. 8. He has to bring something to the table financially. He doesnt have to earn as much as I do but he has to be able to stand on his own financially. If he does earn less than I do, he cant have any hangups about that. 9. He cant be obsessive, controlling, a girlfriend beater, an alcoholic/drug addict, abusive, etc. That is pretty much it. I guess there are some things on your list that I would have included on mine if I had thought about them. You know, like I would want someone who wasnt a bigot for instance. And I certainly wouldnt want a guy who was involved with another woman. YUCK. So I suppose I could expland my list. posted by: Atomsk (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (7:04 am) Damn thats a long list there chica. But a good one none the less, i guess i have a pretty big list for the right type of woman i want to date to so i guess i shouldn't be talkin, But all very good points and all very well explained. But i can't think of one guy out of all my friends that would fit that discription. Hell i can't even fill in all the blanks myself. posted by: Coldtones (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (8:10 am) Reply to: lynne NOW THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE posted by: Coldtones (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (8:21 am) i've gotten with the slighty larger gals, short ones, real skinny, size A's... i've turned girls down for being too easy though, i hate that... hard to get is the way to rev my engine posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (10:15 am) Reply to: scubasteve2600 Thanks - it's amazing how many people get insulted. I won't apologize for insisting on character, lifestyle and goals... (plus liking animals) ;) Go get some sleep. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (10:22 am) Reply to: Coldtones What about those that are married? Just getting over a bad break up? What if they absolutely HATE something you're passionate about? What if they are always mooching off you? What if they are excessively emotional or insecure? It's all the same... posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (10:25 am) Reply to: Coldtones Her list is very similar to mine. Except the good kissing (which I think she'd agree is impt), hair products (I guess she doesn't mind high-maintenance men?)... I think most women will agree with me on my list except the kids thing. posted by: Greybeard (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (4:41 pm) That is not an unreasonable set of rules to follow. Not that I've had much experience in the dating scene (Magoo may argue that pint and bring up this harem notion); I was rather hard on myself and reserved as a younger man. But one of the things I have figured out in life is that someone has to have something to offer in kind for a relationship to become mutually meaningful. OK, there is that Anna Nicole exception but for that poor shit it was only meaningful for about 15 or 20 minutes and meaningful to her only because he was rich and croaked a few weeks latter, but I digress, sorry. My guess is those standards are an evaluation of what you have to offer so they are very reasonable. It is just too bad for you I'm married and that I broke that damn front tooth a few weeks back. Now I look like I'm from Alabama. The doctor says it will take 4-5 months for the implant to be ready for a crown, so until then, that is the way it is. ;-})> posted by: Greybeard (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (4:44 pm) I forgot to add, I'm sure it doesn't help I'm old enough to be your father. posted by: SheSpecies (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (6:14 pm) You GO, Girl! I loved your list! This is very similar to my list for potential-datees, too. LOL I cracked up at #14, too. Can't wait to hear the story behind this one! LOL posted by: riverrat338 (reply) post date: 06.12.04 (9:17 pm) Scuba: I have a few rules too but top on my list is i will never pursue a serious relationship with someon who has been or is married. Even if it was long in the past and she's over him, i'm just very picky. that is IF i ever decide to want marriage at all. second to that, but with allowances, no children from other marriages, or relationships. Again, if i wanted to have a family i'm just old fashiioned like that. I would like to have my own kids and not a ready made family. After that i would gave to say she would have love the outdoors and be active. even if it's not the things i love to do, as long as she likes to be outside. hmmmm...also good kissing skills are a plus. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (2:56 am) Reply to: Greybeard Only if you were from Alabama do I think you'd actually be old enough to be my father. I'm 32 & 3/4... posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (3:05 am) Reply to: riverrat338 I used to say that I would never get involved with someone that was divorced, but I changed my mind on that one. And the fact that at 32, many of the dudes that are available, are divorced. And, we all make mistakes, theirs just involved a tux and bridesmaids and an overpiced cake. I am one of those people that just does not have the temperment for kids. I don't want 'em. Some people have jumped on me for that - but at least I recognize that I don't want them and not have any just to give into societal pressures... Bless the folks that have the patience to do it. Good kissing skills a plus? It's a deal-breaker for me if they can't lock lips worth a damn... posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (3:13 am) Reply to: SheSpecies That would be the 'non-ranger'. I'm reposting some of my earliest entries about the comical men I've dated. Keep your eye out. I think KiltGuy is next in the series. posted by: luluthebrit (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (3:59 am) My list had about the same number of qualities as yours. Well done. posted by: riverrat338 (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (5:15 am) Scuba, if they can make up for it with sex i'll overlook their kissing shortcomings. ;) Yeh I really don't want to have kids of my own. But if I were to have kids i would prefer them to be my own. I really don't have any ambition to get married now. I always consider it a definite possibility but it'll take a really special woman to convince me. posted by: Greybeard (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (5:50 am) Reply to: ScubaDiva And I'm 51 and change, so it just isn't hat far our the the ball park, not for about 30 odd percent of the population anyway. My first one is only three years younger than you as it is. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (6:48 am) Reply to: Greybeard So see, you COULD be my dad if we lived in Alabama. LOL You can be my pseudo-dad next Sunday since mine's such a prick. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (6:51 am) Reply to: riverrat338 Kissing is foreplay in my book. A good kiss leaves me breathless (among other things). I can't imagine being kissed poorly and wanting more - wouldn't happen. Luckily, I can't/shouldn't have kids b/c of the Lupus, etc so it's never been a big deal. Fortunately, fate dealt one blow to me that I didn't feel upset about. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (6:51 am) Reply to: luluthebrit But did you get criticized for yours? Lemme guess, you said you wanted a 9 inch rock hard totem pole? posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (7:15 am) Reply to: Greybeard First of all, sorry for the dental debacle! As the saying goes, if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Same goes true when dating. My life is complicated enough that I don't want added drama. Yep, I have standards, which, I think if one weeded out the candor, would find it's rather reasonable for someone that is out of their 20's. Thanks for agreeing with me. Harem eh? LOL Sounds like you practiced my "dating rotation theory". ( I can't wait to get crucified for that one...) posted by: Ironwolf8766 (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (10:53 am) I love your rules. And I understand alot of them. Some of them, unfortunately would leave me out (and Im not talking about being married) Im soon to be 38 and I am searching for something else to do with my life. So who knows I might be doing the same thing when I am 70. I do customer service as a profession, but I would love it if I could do something else. My problem is I have a lot of intrests. But I had a good chuckle out of them. Ps. It takes me about 20 minutes to shave my head and face. Is that too long? lol posted by: Ironwolf8766 (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (10:56 am) Reply to: ScubaDiva I bet you make a great Aunt. Spoil the kids and then send them home to momma and daddy! I respect you for knowing that kids were not in future. I hate people that have kids and then ignore them or abuse them because the "ruined" thier life. posted by: Ironwolf8766 (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (10:59 am) Reply to: ScubaDiva YOu know in North Carolina I met several gals that chewed tobacco...talk about YUCK. I dont like guys that chew tobacco period and then to see a woman that dose it...GROSS posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (12:03 pm) Reply to: Ironwolf8766 I'm an only child - so no "Auntie Diva" for me. I guess that's part of the reason why they drive me nuts -I always preferred the company of adults, even as a child. ;) posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (12:06 pm) Reply to: Ironwolf8766 20 mins to shave all that? Hmmm. Takes me less time to do my legs and my 'pits. Granted, if you throw in the bikini area, that's a different story - but I like to leave that to the pro's. LMAO You're married off anyway... And I don't particularly think marriage is my thing anyway - I'm not into sharing closet space. ;) posted by: SheSpecies (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (12:20 pm) Reply to: ScubaDiva LOL @ non-ranger...that's hysterical. Some guys in Kilts are actually very cute. Then there are some who you don't even wanna see in shorts...LOL posted by: InYourHead (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (12:39 pm) Lmfao. thats an awesome list. I agree with pretty much all of em! posted by: BLOU (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (3:43 pm) Excellent list! I wish I had this one when I was dating ... could have saved a lot of headaches and a lot of time ... posted by: Ironwolf8766 (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (3:50 pm) Reply to: ScubaDiva Well, I think you would be a great aunt. and remember, if you ever get married your spouse might have siblings and then guess what? "Aunti Diva, can I have a candy bar? Aunti Diva can I have some ice cream? Aunti Diva can I have some soda?" And you will say sure....with a smile, and under your breath you will be saying "I dont have to get you into bed after that sugar high"... Thats the kind of uncles my kids have LOLOL.... posted by: Ironwolf8766 (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (3:52 pm) Reply to: ScubaDiva Thats why you have seperate closets. It may not be 20 minutes, I dont know...but I like it very smooth, no stubble at all...real picky. posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (10:37 pm) Riverrat, you say you would never marry somebody who was married? Gee, that is kinda rude..what about if somebody is widowed? Making statements like "I wont marry becuase they may not be over them" just shows how inmature you must be. There are those of us who have been married, who got divorced, met somebody very special, and lost them. Are we "over" them? I don't think that you can ever get over anybody, really, that you have had a deep, long, and meaningful relationship with. Would I avoid somebody who has been married and divorced more than 3 times? Yes, but that is because being divorced 3 times shows a serious lack of judgement, or the inability to interact on a deep personal level. BUT, making the statements about not wanting to marry people who have been married previously, really really can shut your world down. You are potentially missing out on meeting some really interesting, kind, caring people. People who know what a serious, committed relationship is, and what it takes to make it work. Hey, your life, but just my two cents worth. posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (10:39 pm) Bahhh...I think in Diva's case, it would be "Hey, this is my Aunt Diva, the spinster"...(grin) posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply) post date: 06.13.04 (10:41 pm) Oh Diva, question on number 19: Does the "Me Tarzan, you Jane" bit count as romantic? posted by: Saint027 (reply) post date: 06.14.04 (4:30 am) OK, I accept your challenge. 1. Quit years ago 2. 1 misdemeanor, years ago, long story 3. Own my own house 4. My grill ain't messed up 5. USMC ... *begins singing Marines' Hymn* 6. 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee (for the dogs, you know) 7. Umm .. I will be once I get out 8. Shit ... 9. Marines taught me to clean well and I can cook. Side note: cooking is NOT pouring anything out of a box. I use all fresh ingredients. 10. Shit again ... 11. See my last PFT score 12. I run a zoo out of my house 13. Don't have, Don't want .. see #8 14. Brutally 15. Nope. Got a massage from a flaming frenchman. Didn't bother me. Actually, he was quite good. No happy ending though. lol 16. Not really. I'm a lover, not a fighter. Thats why I'm getting out. 17. I know where I'm going. 18. Sports teams don't count?!?! Shit ... 19. I think romance is dead ... see #8. 19a. I have about an inch and a half of hair. I use a little gel, but it takes me approx. 15 seconds from start to finish. 20. Hot lips. LOL Oh wait, this wasn't a quiz was it? LOL posted by: XAirborneRTO (reply) post date: 06.14.04 (10:13 pm) Ok, I gonna give this a shot: 1. Very seldom (maybe once a year), a good cigar every once in a while, when I can get them. 2. Not a prob here....lol 3. Well, the progeny currently occupies it while it is in school, but yes, I do. 4. Does having a couple that were knocked out during parachute jumps disqualify me? 5. Humm..that ties in with number 2...lol 6. Is more than one bad? And is there a year limit on how old they can be? 7. Does being a GS-11 count? 8. Been divorced for 18 years now, and solo for the past 4, since being widowed from number 2. 9. Yep, not a prob, makes a mean alfredo sauce from scratch. 10. Ties in with 2 and 5, not a prob. 11. Well, job demands it, but currently on the mend from some potential lead poisoning, but overall, yeah. 12. Well, I think that speaks for itself, considering how broken up over Misty I was (not to mention how much Panzer and Rommel miss her). 13. The offspring (only one) is in college, hope that counts. 14. Not a issue, considering I have to appear in court ALOT, and under go polygraphs and voice stress analysis. 15. After living in Key West?? Are you kidding? 16. Well, only if your the bad guys.... 17. Hummm....survive to get my retirement? Not sure after that...lol 18. My gun dogs, my cars, my shooting irons...and any lady in my life (I am a one woman man). 19. I do open doors, not much for flowers though, but will appear with ballet tickets every once in a while, and will have the lady take my arm in most public places. I can work my way thru a place setting of 4 forks, 2 spoons, 2 knives, 5 plates, and 3 glasses...if more than that on the table, too expensive for me to be there....(grin) 19a. Uh, what are hair products? I mean, I wear a flattop high and tight... 20. Well, never gotten any complaints, but will let you be the judge of that....(grin) posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.15.04 (5:13 am) Reply to: XAirborneRTO Made me laugh hysterically. Now you need to come up with your own rules... posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 06.15.04 (5:13 am) Reply to: XAirborneRTO Made me laugh hysterically. Now you need to come up with your own rules... |
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