Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2008 October
2008 September
2008 August
2008 July
2008 June
2008 May
2008 April
2008 March
2008 February
2008 January
2007 December
2007 November
2007 October
2007 September
2007 August
2007 July
2007 June
2007 May
2007 April
2007 March
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
My Links
Scuba Diving Pics
Pussy Pics
My Bush
My new pal Dan The Music Man's site
Scuba Diving Mag
Info on Breast Reductions
The Fair Tax
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
| I survived therapy |
| 10.16.07 (6:24 pm) [edit] |
|
I hate my new laptop. I just typed the entire rendition of my post and I lost it all. I had the therapy session with the family therapist today. Just me and therapist. I didn't like her any more in person than I did on the phone. However, she's the therapist my mother picked out - and I said I'd go to whoever she selected... Therapist hasn't met the mother yet. I spent the session giving some background and family history. Within 20 minutes of the session starting, she announced to me that based on my 'account' if it was 'accurate' that it is 'very clear' that my mother was 'severely sexually abused as a child' and unable to have any sort of genuine relationship. Um. Yeah. I don't know if that's true or not. I wasn't around when my mother was a kid and she sure as heck didn't say anything of the sort. However, I think it's INCREDIBLY unprofessional to make a judgment like that without even meeting the individual. She's supposed to be objective between the two of us. I would have walked out then, but again, this is the therapist my mother selected and I told her that I'd go to whoever she selected. I called the therapist on a couple of things (not telling her I thought she was full of shit, but telling her that I didn't think some statements were valid.) She thinks the mother will only attend therapy as a way to interact with me. (Possibly but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.) She asked what type of relationship I'd like with my mother. I told her "one that doesn't require me to be medicated". That wasn't specific enough for her apparently. Next step, she meets with the mother. And go from there. I was clear that I wasn't going to continue the process if she wasn't sincere and didn't have the energy to stir up the chaos and drama. |
posted by: PirateGirl (reply)
post date: 10.16.07 (4:52 pm)
Sheesh!
Hmmm - yeah, not professional of therapist to say anything about your mom's abuse - ( maybe she knows something you don't??) - but that is for your mother to tell you, not the therapist IMHO - Did you let "ms. Therapist" know that your mother had never said anything to you at all of any abuse, (if in fact, that is the case) ?
Hope it gets better...hugs
posted by: jc87 (reply)
post date: 10.16.07 (5:30 pm)
I can't think of anything to say other than good luck
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 10.16.07 (7:01 pm)
Maybe your Mother will see some of the same 'red flags' you did and decide on her own to look elsewhere for a therapist? We can hope anyway.
I've done the same thing on my laptop since getting it, what button is IT? heh
posted by: jt (reply)
post date: 10.17.07 (7:56 pm)
Hey Scuba, you know those instincts that tell you this therapist sucks? They're right!
Sorry I've been AKF for so long... just getting caught up. Horrified to hear what you've been going through and hoping poor Lulu will perk up a bit. I feel for ya, girl. Hang tight!
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (8:31 am)
Reply to: PirateGirl
My mother has never been one to share anything remotely personal about herself - I don't even know what her political inclinations are. I don't try to make judgments about people with something so personal. We've all had bad things happen to us as kids - the point is, as adults, to deal with it and not let it impact the rest of our lives so detrimentally. She wants nothing more than to be close with me and have a relationship with me. I've tried to 'deal' with her behavior but I can only tolerate it so much. I have repeatedly tried to make it clear to her when her behavior was unacceptable and offer suggestions to interact with me more productively. (Ie, when I said no to something, not to continue 20x asking me about it.) She won't or can't adapt at all.
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (8:38 am)
Reply to: jc87
Thanks.
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (8:41 am)
Reply to: jt
I agree she sucks, but I'm just going to let it run its course. Thanks for the well wishes. Lulu is doing a bit better. She's been out in the back yard this morning for a little while - she was investigating something. Her weight hasn't improved, nor has the diarrhea, but her spirits have and she doesn't look so drained. I'm not sure if its the Pedialyte or me being more positive or people's prayers or all of the above. Waiting to hear back from the vet on the stool sample to see if there's anything else going on.
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (8:45 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
My mother is so incapable of offering genuine emotion and connecting, that it doesn't matter who it is. I won't waste my time or subject myself to the frustration of her refusing to participate and look at things objectively. I feel guilty about having to cut ties with her - however, if she fails to participate like I anticipate, I won't feel as bad about putting a fork in it. I've done absolutely everything I possibly can to try to have a non-destructive relationship.
posted by: PirateGirl (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (8:49 am)
Reply to: scubadiva
Ah, ok - I see now what you're saying. I really hope that your two can have a better relationship, with undrestanding and respect. And that she can learn to understand the concept of you having boundries, since she seems to have already put up her own.
Best of luck and lots of hugs :)
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (8:58 am)
Reply to: PirateGirl
It's funny - she has all these boundaries of her own but won't respect ANY of mine. Ever. Can't have your cake and eat it too.
posted by: PirateGirl (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (9:09 am)
Reply to: scubadiva
Yeah really!
- It could be cause she's your Mom, and she just cares about you and what's going on in your life, - but still, like you said, you're an adult now. Respect should be mutual.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (9:21 am)
Reply to: scubadiva
Ya know,sometimes things just don't work out--it appears you know this and are ready to accept the fact. And will be able to accept it knowing you did everything you possibly could.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 10.18.07 (12:59 pm)
I hope the therapy has a positive on you and your mom's relationship.
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 10.19.07 (9:38 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
It would be nice, but I'm not disillusioned enough to think it will work. However, I recall my mantra of 'embrace the possibility' - I changed a lot over the past 18 months, perhaps she has too...
by Redonthehead