In times like this, you learn who your real friends are. And who aren't. Although those that aren't - I had a fairly good idea ahead of time. This just made it abundantly clear. One IM'd me a few hours after she died - his reply 'that sucks'. His dog is the center off his existence. Then he sent me another message asking me what I was bringing for his going away party this weekend. Fucker.

Everyone keeps emailing and calling to make sure I'm okay. I'm not sure if I should be honest or if I should just do the 'stiff upper lip' thing.

Since Monday afternoon, I've had several cups (or pots) of coffee. I tried eating some rice last night but couldn't keep it down. I don't feel weak or like my blood sugar is low...

I had to go to a business function yesterday and another this evening. I tried to go shopping after yesterday's' event but it was a lost cause. Nothing caught my eye. Whenever I'm looking for very specific basic items - ie long-sleeve rounded neck non-ribbed ivory shirt - can't find it. Everything is ruched, bedazzled or foil painted.

Hot Stud has called and emailed. We're going away later in the month. I need distrations right now. I just want to stay in bed. I *do* wish I had someone to snuggle with (does not mean sex.) I feel alone.

I wrote a brief note to my mother advising her Sassy was gone. It was hard.