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| Father Figure |
| 06.16.07 (9:57 am) [edit] |
| I haven't seen my father in nine years. He lives (I'm assuming) about 10 minutes away from me. My relationship (or lack thereof) with him caused me a lot of turmoil for many years. Family means A LOT to me and I blamed myself for much of the struggle. His love, support and money were always conditional. His way, or no way. Respect was not earned, he should get it simply because he is my father. I haven't felt respect for him for years because of his choices in life. I hadn't referred to him as "Dad" or "Father" or anything like that since I was in high school because he hadn't earned that title. I referred to him by his first name and that irritated him beyond belief. Then, I had an "aha" moment a few years ago. I hadn't spoken to him in years. He said to me "You've been an embarrassment to me and my family." "My family"??? The irony of that is that I am actually the only blood relative he has. He considers me an 'embarrassment' because I worked my way through school instead of going where he dictated/paid, because I didn't get married after college and shoot out a couple of kids, etc. It was at that point I realized that he's a hurtful person that I wouldn't have given the time of day if I wasn't related to him. And I don't need someone like that in my life. And a burden lifted off my shoulders at that point. I realized he'd never be the type of person I could lean on, respect, or have a relationship of any significance with. I'm super-fortunate to have a lot of men in my life who I do respect, who do offer unconditional support and love. (I imagine they'd open their wallets too if I asked LOL!) Some are father figures, some aren't. But they collectively fill that void, and then some. They demonstrate how men and fathers SHOULD be. And to them, thanks for filling that vacancy. |
| 0 Comments |
by Redonthehead