I thought I'd go back a bit and give an update on "the crush". (He lost that status months ago.)
Recap:
We've both been in the radio/entertainment biz in Atlanta and know a lot of the same people. Always thought he was smart and funny.
There were fireworks when we met for drinks. He did everything right in the first meeting, including asking me to call when I got home to make sure I got in safely (and commenting on my shoes). We met for coffee the next morning and had a scorching smooch session against my car in the rain.
New Year's Eve day, we had another date. Went out for dinner with a friend of his. Another scorching evening. I told him I dug him BUT things were not going to progress physically. I admitted it was hard to say no, but I wasn't looking for something casual.
Then he went into his state of depression in January. Understand. Been there. He's been out of work for a loooooong time and there are no strong opportunities and the ones he's gotten are rather, well, insulting. He has moved in with a friend to save on rent. He said he would be better in February. I dropped by once to pick up some tapes I had loaned him which he interpreted as me wanting to get naked. (Nope.)
He would call every 10 days or so, saying that he was thinking about how nice it'd be to snuggle up in bed naked with me, how hot I was and how much he wanted to see me again.
Now normally, comments like that would make this girl swoon and turn me into a total minx. But since he had been giving me the impression that he was not looking for anything more than a booty call, I was insulted. (Funny thing was that it *could* have been MUCH hotter had he played his cards right.)
Over the past three months, I told him via email, text message, on the phone and face-to-face that I dug him, he drove me crazy, but it wasn't going to happen that way if he didn't want to get to know ME (and not my hoo-ha) better. Actions spoke louder than words.
And he choked.
Two weeks ago, he left me another vm with the naked suggestion.
I sent him a text telling him bluntly to move on.
On New Year's Eve day, he brought a case of wine coolers. (Who, that is of legal drinking age, particularly a straight male, drinks wine coolers?) The box has been sitting in my kitchen ever since. I've tried pawning them off on folks but everyone laughs. Pouring them down the drain is an option, but I came up with another idea...
Smashing them to hell. I'm not mad at 'the crush'. I'm pissed at myself for not reading the signals better and getting distracted by the player despite being warned about his behavior.
A friend asked if he came around and started behaving like I deserved if I'd be open to it? My answer, a resounding "hell no!" Clearly, the dude didn't appreciate me and didn't treat me in the manner in which I deserve. It's not about putting him down - it does me no good and I feel sorry for the guy. Self-analytical person that I am, I've gone back looking to see what I could have done differently. I found him irresistible. I told him so. (But I did resist him.)
Gotta go. More on this later.
Hey, don't beat yourself up over the missed signals! But smashing those wine coolers sounds like FUN! Maybe he thought the key to your heart was through your hoo-ha...
posted by: onebadjen (reply)
post date: 04.10.07 (8:08 pm)
you know that my "ex" kevin STILL calls, despite my refusing to see him in more than a year, despite my refusing to answer the phone or text back, and above all, despite me being MARRIED. sometimes its begging for us to still be friends, but more often than not he ends up suggesting that we "play." now at least me and him have had 3+ YEARS of on again off again lust. imagine what would be going on if you gave in to the crush's mixed signals and introduced him to your "hoo-ha" if he's still calling after he got shot down. you'd NEVER be shed of him. btw, smashing those bottles sounds like SO much fun. i LOVE the sound of breaking glass!
posted by: LadyG (reply)
post date: 04.12.07 (1:11 am)
Smash those bottles, it will make you feel much better.
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 04.19.07 (1:24 pm)
Reply to: onebadjen
Married? I guess I need to read blogs more often, don't I?
I wasn't even invited to your bachelorette party. :(