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| Looking Back |
| 01.30.07 (9:07 am) [edit] |
| Last night I finished another journal. I've been writing in journals since I was six. Back then, it was "Dear Diary..." I have my old camp locker full of journals. It's funny to go back and read them. High school. Oh my. The ever-revolving drama between girl friends. Broken hearts in college, etc. As most of you know, the last year has been a difficult one for me, but a time of some serious personal growth. I read thru the last two journals - covering the past year or so. Wow. Put things into perspective. I had planned to kill myself. Had the plan. The date. Written goodbye notes to my friends. Had a notarized Will. Of course, things have turned around. There's a saying that it's darkest just before dawn. And, it really seems to fit with me. I still have a long way to go for my life to be where I'd like it to be, but I'm continuing forward motion. No more anxiety medication, anti-depressants. Little bumps in life don't set me reeling. I make decisions on a non-emotional, non-reactionary manner now. I've made some hard decisions, that I wish I didn't have to make, but I'm confident in the decisions I've made. I use my mantra of "Embrace the Possibility" a lot. It puts things in perspective. Life isn't ideal, but I'm optimistic. |
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by Redonthehead