Ok. Here's the scandalous story of me and the 3some in the sauna over the weekend...

I'm on the elliptical. Watching "Raging Bull" on DVD. A woman, late-30's, gets on the ellip next to me and starts talking. I've got headphones on and sort of nod to her. She keeps talking. I ignore her for a while, pretending I can't hear her. I finally point to the DVD case and say that I'm engrossed in the movie.

After a few more mins, she gets off the elliptical. I notice she's on a recumbant bike. I finish up my time on the ellip and get my gymbag to head to the locker room.

She follows me in a rather obvious way.

I go to my locker, take off my shoes, put on flip flops, grab a towel and my book to head to the sauna. She's talking to me, asking me how long I was on the ellip and what the movie was about. (Does anyone not know what Raging Bull is about? And the case makes it pretty clear.)

I just get bad vibes from this chick. So I'm deliberately being aloof. And cranking it up from there.

I go to the sauna. Sit down with the book. One of the women I've talked to before is in there. We're chatting - telling her about this woman that was creeping me out on the elliptical. In comes the ellip-stalker-lady. The sauna has two benches - each about 6 feet long, with a 2nd tier of benches above it. Normal sauna etiquette has the 3rd+ people sitting on the upper benches.

Nope. Ellip-stalker-lady sits RIGHT next to me. As in about an inch away. Trying to jump into the conversation with me - totally ignoring the other woman. I make eye contact with the other woman and gesture with my eyes that this is her. Her response is to say that she's hot enough and is going to hit the shower -leaving me alone with ellip-stalker-lady. (Thanks!)

Now, it would make sense that the person would move over. But she doesn't. So I do. I move over to the other side and sit with my legs stretched out so she couldn't sit right next to me. I bury my nose in the book.

She keeps talking. I say "I really hate to be rude, but I like my time here to be spent quiet and reading."

She says "Well, we should go get a drink after this."

I reply "No thanks." (I should have said I have to go home to my husband or something)

Then the lights go out. It was a warning that the gym was closing. Usually, they just flash them. But noooo, this time, they were out for a good 20 seconds. This woman brushes her hand against my leg.

I jump up and leave the sauna in the dark. Hit the shower. I don't hear her following me. Towel off quickly and haul tail to my locker to get dressed and get out of there.

Getting dressed at my locker, she's there again. Says again that she'd really like to grab a drink with me tonight. Touches me on the shoulder.

I don't even bother looking at her. I say "I am not interested. Period." I grab my stuff and haul butt out of there.

CREEPY!