Considering I haven't had sex in so long that even my vibrator is considering leaving me, this was news to me.

Yesterday, I had a counseling appointment. Normal procedure is you wait at the check-in desk for 5 minutes until the women acknowledge you. Then they take your appointment slip. You sit down and wait another 20 minutes, they call your name, you get some paperwork and go to your counselor's room. (Not sure why it takes so damn long but that's bureaucracy for you)

Like usual, I wait to be acknowledged to turn in my appt slip. There's about 8 people sitting in chairs waiting. Quite a motley group of people. Finally, the bureaucrat takes my slip and I start to turn around to find a seat, when...

I hear "Why are you checking in that slut while I've been waiting?"

I turn around to see she outweighs me by about 250 lbs. wearing a floral mumu that could have covered my sofa and then some. I decide that I'm going to ignore it. Clearly, she outweighs me in the 'few cards short of a deck' factor more than I do, mental healthwise.

The only seating available was a row of chairs where this woman was sitting. I chose the seat furthest away from her, with two seats inbetween us. I open my book and start reading a book that I'm really enjoying (Gatsby's Girl).

When floral mumu woman is talking to the tv. VERY LOUD. "You're a screwed up slut star! You're a screwed up slut star!" (It was the Cosby Show. None of the cast struck me particularly as slutty, but whatever.) I hope the woman at the desk will stop blabbering with the other woman as she eats chicken wings and check some people in so I can get the hell away from the crazy mumu lady...

Five minutes later,  she starts hollering. At me. "I'm not a slut. I'm NOT a slut! I'm a good girl. I don't do those things. You're a slut! You're a slut! And I'm not into girls. I'm not gay! I'm not gay!"

I debated acknowledging her. I considered even saying "No hablas englaise" but I had a brief chatty convo with the front desk ladies earlier, trying to suck up to get them moving faster. I made eye contact with one of the front desk ladies. (Apparently they have a policy like the zoo where they aren't to ruffle the patients.) She winked and called my name and had my paperwork ready so I could get the hell out of there. Attached to it was a post-it note saying "That lady has an issue with attractive younger women, don't encourage her."

What the hell did that mean? Anyway, I got the hell out of the waiting room to go into my counseling session. (I dare say that I like her more than my old therapist!) When our session was done, crazy mumu lady was still in the same place. While I was turning in my paperwork, she started with the "slut talk" again. I was out the door faster than she'd swallow a Krispy Kreme.