Yesterday, I went to go do my drug-screening for the aquarium in an area that is rather over-run by homeless people, drug dealers, and prostitutes. Who would have known it would be such an ordeal. I mean, you show ID, you pee in a cup, and you're done, right?

I printed out the email I got from the aquarium that gave directions, hours of the facility, etc. Head over there. Turns out the facility needed an ID #. The email didn't mention that. They call the point of contact at the aquarium. Voicemail. I wait. And wait. And wait. Not a single magazine to read in english except a Ladies Home Journal with Tom Cruise on the cover talking about how he was 'thrilled' with his invisible baby. I refused to even lay hands on it.

Finally, the aquarium calls back and says I'm legit. (Like an email from the contact at the aquarium addressed to me telling me to go there for a test wasn't a clue?)

I'm frisked to make sure I don't have any substances on me to interfere with the test. I'm given a huge cup to fill.

But I fell short. Couldn't make it to the mark. I drink over 100oz of water every day. I pee like a race horse. (Southern term). But I had just worked out and I guess I was a little bit dehydrated. Or maybe it was performance anxiety. The woman poured it out. I felt crushed.

I had to bolt b/c of a counseling appt. I chugged a bottle of water. Came back an hour later. As I was pulling in the parking lot, I had to wait because there was a man soliciting a woman for some money. (She gave him some).  I pull into a spot. He's waiting for me. He starts following me saying "Ma'am." Louder and louder. I say "No thank you." He keeps following me and actually puts his hand on my shoulder.

Bad move.

(I was grabbed by an (assumingly) homeless person at my car and almost dragged into the woods when I was 22. I haven't forgotten it.)

I moved to get this cretin's hand off me and told him to get the fuck away from me. At which point he started calling me a variety of non-flattering comments. If my pepper spray had been in my purse instead of in the console of my car, I would have used it. I get into the building. I tell the woman at the drug screening place what happened. She took me to the office of the building mgmt. Gave her a description of the guy - he was carrying an orange backpack, so he should be somewhat easy to identify. She said she was going to call the police, that she had been accosted by someone for money when she was leaving last night too.

Anyway, I go back and pee successfully. No sign of the dude when I went back to my car. Was half-expecting to see the dude had vandalized my car. But he didn't. No sign of him around when I was done.

We'll have to wait and see if the pot I tried to smoke (but couldn't inhale) when I was 18 is still in my system...