Long day yesterday. Gym first. Worked out next to a woman at 9am in full makeup - we're talking spackle, paint and lip gloss. Her towel was icky when she was done. Smeared with makeup. I just don't get it.

Counseling session with the mother yesterday. I wrote directions down for her in advance. Last time my directions for a dr's appt were not adequate, so she called them up herself to get others. Didn't park in the lot I suggested, etc. So she calls me 4 times yesterday morning (while I was at the gym) saying she was in my driveway and wanted to follow me down to the session. (Um, boundaries?) Then she parked her car going the wrong direction at the parking meter. She asked if she should move her car, I told her "there's a spot right there" (indicating on the correct side of the street) but she chose to stay there.

It was exactly as I predicted. She kept dredging up the past. Counselor kept trying to get her to focus on the here/now and on her feelings. She couldn't do it. I told her that I end up feeling incredibly guilty about how I have to set limits with her to which she replied that it was 'a waste of energy' and 'senseless'. Counselor called her on it. Let's just say that she didn't respond well to being called on it. She was dramatic and trying to control things and not answering questions. At the end of the session, counselor asked the mother if she thought it was beneficial and if she gained anything from it. The mother said 'no, it was a waste of time'. She didn't "hear" a single word I said.

When we left, she had a parking ticket for parking in the wrong direction. (sigh)

So I met my friend that's in town for a 'late lunch'. Well, I had water and he had 4 glasses of wine, an espresso and three appetizers. In an hour. It was good seeing him. He's still the cad. It was annoying that every 3 minutes he was checking his crackberry.

Later, I had a talk with one of my closest friends. Sort of rehashing what went on in counseling. His mother recently passed away - and he was about as far from grieving as one could get. So I considered that. He told me that she was never going to change (which I know). He asked if she wasn't related, would I put up with her? I told him that wasn't the issue, that she was my family, pretty much my only family - and that meant something. That she would do anything for me which is more than I can say for most folks. I compared it to his own son - that he was family and he's extremely devoted to his son's happiness and the commitment was because they were family. He admitted there was a time when he was going to cut things off with his son, but he didn't. I told him that I had hoped that things would change - perhaps my mother would and perhaps I would too. Perhaps we can meet in the middle. Or perhaps I'll do all the changing. He told me that if I was going to continue to have a relationship with my mother, that he didn't want to hear about it. It hurt. I thought dear friends were supposed to be there when you needed to vent or support. Maybe I stirred up some unresolved feelings about his own mother. Or maybe he knows how much she causes havoc in my life. I ended up interrupting him, because he was really coming down on her. Telling me that I was a total masochist. I told him that clearly this was a topic we didn't need to discuss, wished him goodnight and hung up.

I felt like I was slapped in the face twice yesterday. Today is a new day though, right?