Thursday, I decided to run into Big Lots to pick up a card to send to April (aka Krazedone, etc). The parking lot was rather crowded, but I saw a guy putting his stuff into his car, so I stopped, put on my left turn signal and waited.

 (As an interesting side note, scientific studies have shown that people take longer to pull out of a parking space if they know someone is waiting for it!)

And, this dude was taking his time. There were four cars behind me, and three passed me on my left to continue on their merry way. But car #4 pulled up beside me, positioning itself as if I was not there, to pull into the spot. I'm sitting there thinking "Are you a complete idiot? Totally blind?" I try to catch her attention by waving and a quick beep to indicate that I'm sitting there with the turn signal on for that spot but she ignores me.

The dude FINALLY pulls out and does it so that I can pull right into the spot. I grab my umbrella, purse and head into the store, not giving Ms. Clueless a second thought.

As I'm perusing the cards, I'm accosted by this 60+ish woman that says "Lady, you must think you're something else!"

I turned around, smiled, and said, "Why yes, my mother is quite proud of me."

So Ms. Not only Clueless but also Bitter and Rude then says "I was waiting for that parking spot and you STOLE it from me!"

I gently reminded her that I had been waiting for it, that she pulled between me and the spot despite my turn signal on.

Then Ms. Not only Clueless but also Bitter, Rude and dressed in cheap polyester said "You're a liar and you're going to get what's coming to you!"

I thanked her for the well-wishes and told her that I wished the same of her.

Then another woman came up and said to Ms. Not only Clueless but also Bitter, Rude and dressed in cheap polyester with a really bad purse, "This young lady was waiting for that spot long before you, I was in front of you and passed her because I saw her signaling for the spot."

That pissed off Ms. Not only Clueless but also Bitter, Rude and dressed in cheap polyester with a really bad purse and bad dye job even more. But she fumed off.

(Meanwhile, I had found a really cute card for April and decided to look around the place a bit more.)

And Ms. Not only Clueless but also Bitter, Rude and dressed in cheap polyester with a really bad purse and bad dye job and apparently psychotic started following me around the store with her shopping cart, saying shit about how I'm rude, blah blah blah.

My Southern decorum had reached its limits. I was beginning to think this woman resembled someone that you might see on Jerry Springer but I wanted her to back off.

So I reached in my purse and got my cell phone. Opened it up, turned on the camera feature, turned around and started snapping pictures of her.

She screamed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

I told her that I wanted to remember this moment for posterity because I had never encounter such a bitter nutcase that couldn't admit she was wrong and I imagined she had a string of ex-husbands that she had driven to shoot themselves or driven them batty. (And I said it calmly with a smile)

She turned around and walked off.

Did I mention she was a Yankee?