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| Am I Wrong? (Part Deux) |
| 12.07.05 (11:07 am) [edit] |
|
Something happened yesterday evening that REALLY rubbed me the wrong way... (Backstory) I have a male FRIEND. He is married and lives out of town. He's been a professional mentor and became a trusted friend for 5 years. He is not exactly the most faithful spouse, but that's his business... He was in town last week and we went to the Aquarium and had dinner... Yesterday, he called while I was on another call. As soon as I finished the previous call, I called him back, without listening to his VM. He starts reading me the RIOT act. For what you ask? For sending him a Christmas card to his home. I've sent birthday and holiday cards (and gifts) to him each year. (And I think a couple of other random ones that I thought were cute as thank you's) In the card, I thanked him again for the dinner and how much fun I had at the aquarium. I wished him a happy new year... His wife opened the card (He's out of town on business) and she called him bitching about it. (Apparently he didn't mention I went along with him to the aquarium.) So then he decided to pass along the very negative tone to me as well. I told him that he was welcome for the card. (Uh, he's the one that gave me his address!!!) Then I listened to his vm. Pissed me off even more. His tone and (over)reaction was totally uncalled for. I understand that his marriage isn't exactly picturesque, but that's not my problem. I can assure you that I'll never again mail him anything. So...I'm not exactly feeling the love for him at the moment. Do I confront him about it? Do I wait for him to contact me? Is it wrong for me to tell him I think an apology is in order? |
posted by: nullfactor (reply)
post date: 12.07.05 (8:52 am)
You're not wrong at all. It's perfectly fine for a man and woman to be friends (and that's it... friends). If you and he had a friendship for that long, then all of a sudden it becomes a problem to mail him something, yeah... that would kind of be good grounds for anger. Grrrrr...
posted by: trekguy (reply)
post date: 12.07.05 (11:34 am)
No your not wrong, the guy is a jerk for not telling his wife! Guys and gals can be freinds, some spouses accept them others do not. If his does not then he needs to tell you!! Besides you've sent other stuff there so it should not have surprised either him or her!!
posted by: kreativekat (reply)
post date: 12.07.05 (6:23 pm)
Gahhhhh men!! Not really liking them at the moment. Communication with the wife might be a good thing.
You deserve an appology, wait for him to contact you.
posted by: gambit3131 (reply)
post date: 12.08.05 (5:12 am)
If you have sent him cards in the past, then he's wrong. He should not be going off on you because his wife doesn't trust him.
posted by: Dstar (reply)
post date: 12.08.05 (11:59 am)
I agree with Trekguy. He shouldn't be hiding things from his wife. If she is not okay with him seeing female friends while he is out of town, he should either not do it, or be open about it and tell her to deal with it. If you ask me, there are other ladies in other towns where maybe things aren't as "just friendly". His efforts to hide things overlap into the things that are okay. Just my opinion.
You are just a nice person that did a nice thing!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.10.05 (7:05 am)
Reply to: nullfactor
I think I'm one of the only female friends he has that he hasn't boinked... I can see things from her perspective - I'm still waiting for an apology from him.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.10.05 (7:06 am)
Reply to: Gottaluvme
Agreed. The only difference is that she quit her job, so she's home all the time. I had no idea he was out of town, that she would open his mail, etc. I'm not psychic...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.10.05 (7:07 am)
Reply to: trekguy
He complains a lot about her going ballastic and chewing his ass out for stupid small things that he had nothing to do with. Sort of found it ironic that he would do the same to me.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.10.05 (7:08 am)
Reply to: kreativekat
I guess next year, I'll ask everyone ahead of time if it is okay that I send them an xmas card ahead of time... Geesh!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.10.05 (7:09 am)
Reply to: gambit3131
Good thing I didn't mention in the card how he suggested we watch a porn back in his suite after dinner?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.10.05 (7:13 am)
Reply to: Dstar
He's like a sailor with women in every port... I'm pretty sure she knows he's fooling around. He's a very sexual person and she hasn't been 'giving it up' for years - she can't think he's just sitting around twiddling his thumbs...
She accuses him of boinking a lot of women in town (that he may or may not have boinked). I cannot imagine being in her position. And I think he deserves to be happy - and free but for whatever reasons, he stays.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 12.10.05 (7:13 am)
Reply to: Verucas
I guess she assumes every woman he as contact with has had carnal knowledge with her husband.
by Redonthehead