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| So much for that theory |
| 09.06.05 (1:49 pm) [edit] |
|
The long weekend was a long one for me. I wish that I had something positive to report. I thought that (finally) reporting it to the police would be a good thing, that I would feel like I was reclaiming some of my power back. But I don't at all. In fact, I feel even worse. I have no dignity left. I can't even hold it together trying to talk to anyone. I am not strong. I am a complete mess. Sum it up to say that the detective that took the report (a supervisor), reaffirmed my apprehension about coming forward. He said that I was probably 'bitter from being spurned by him' and 'seeking revenge for the medical bills'. He kept asking me if I was sure I had never done "Rush" with "T" before - I don't know if it was part of law enforcement to make sure my story was consistent, but he made me feel like I had asked for it. I kept reiterating that it was in no way consensual. I had shared two kisses with the guy eight months prior - in public. That there had never been any sort of intimate contact between us. The detective wasn't interested in even getting my doctor's name or contact info because she had documented all the bruises, cuts and marks afterwards. Of course, he advised me that "T" would probably file a civil suit against me for defamation. Gee, thanks. The supervisor detective advised me that he would have someone follow up with me to 'fill in the blanks' and would speak to me before contacting "T". It was up to me if I wanted to pursue criminal charges but the complaint would remain on file permanently. I don't know what to do. I tried calling Airborne since he's someone who knows a lot about law enforcement - I was balling my eyes out. Has he returned my call? No. It's just more of a slap in the face. I just want to curl up in a fetal position and disappear. I just can't take any more of this. |
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 09.06.05 (1:09 pm)
well that's too bad the police are so chauvinistic there. Is there no woman's shelter, hotline , helpline or whatever, that you can access for information on how to deal with the aftermath of the rape and filing of charges? After all, it's not like most women do this every day. You would think they would have been more sympathetic, after all this was a terrible assault he did to you. You are the victim here.
posted by: kreativekat (reply)
post date: 09.06.05 (1:19 pm)
I can not believe that a police officer would do that. still shows that guys still think us girls ask for it when it happens. it's a good thing your doctor documented a lot of the stuff.
lots and lots of hugs. don't let that pig get you down.
posted by: SweetDiva (reply)
post date: 09.06.05 (2:30 pm)
sorry hun (((hugs)))
that there is the reason I never filed charges against the dude.
because I knew they would try to make it seem like it was all on me. and because I knew if my dad ever found out he would of killed the bastard. but I will say had it be an rape instead of an attempt I would have filed charges if I didn't kill him first.
but since you started it I would say follow through with it. that little bitch of a man needs to pay. and he needs to be stopped before he does it to someone else.
hope you feel better dear, still keeping you in my prayers. (((hugs)))
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 09.06.05 (2:40 pm)
Reply to: NurseNancy
I contacted the rape crisis center today - there's only one counselor for the entire county (sorta shocked me) and there's a waiting list. Kinda like calling 911 and being asked to hold on. It's back to the fetal position for me.
posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 09.06.05 (3:03 pm)
Aw, shit. This is exactly why more women don't come forward -- they're afraid of being treated as shabbily as you were. Do you have the strength to complain to a superior there? Is there a female officer you can speak to, or a community affairs officer? That is so fucking hideous.
I'm so sorry, Diva. For what it's worth, I think you were really brave to go through with it. We're all behind ya, girl.
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 09.07.05 (11:48 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
that's unbelievable. Hang in there, God's not finished with you yet!!
posted by: Dstar (reply)
post date: 09.07.05 (7:17 pm)
You know, reporting this may not get you anything and it may not make you feel any better, but it does get it on record. Sticking you neck out and having that detective treat you the way he did was gutsy. If this ever happens again, maybe the next person will be taken a little more seriously. You may have done someone else a really big favor and not even know it. And, you know, what goes around comes around.
Good job, and hang in there.
posted by: chicalookate (reply)
post date: 09.08.05 (9:39 am)
I would try and see if there was a female officer you could talk to. Or to talk to the shmuck's supervisor to make a complaint. You should not be made to feel the criminal here. I could come kick some ass for you if you want.
by Redonthehead