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I did it.
Single 30-something Female Dating Debacles and Random Musings in Coffee Shops |
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posted by: VerucasSalty AKA bella (reply) post date: 09.02.05 (12:15 pm) well im proud of you. im sure its harder than i can imagine. though 6 years ago, i had to file a PFA on a boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. none of this is fair to you. you dont deserve to have to deal with it. all you can do is manage your way through it with grace. my best to you. bells posted by: newbie (reply) post date: 09.02.05 (12:16 pm) maybe next time you will know better. dressing like a skank and teasing men isn't the way to stay unscathed. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.02.05 (4:37 pm) Reply to: newbie Dear spineless person who doesn't have the balls to identify oneself: Next time I'll know better? For the record, I was wearing not-tight cargo shorts that were maybe an inch above the knee and a blue t-shirt that was 3 sizes too big. I'm not quite sure how that qualifies as dressing like a skank. I was going over to his house to look at his floors and his kitchen for remodeling suggestions. I've never dressed 'skanky' in my life and I wouldn't know where to begin. A little cleavage (not one's tits hanging out) is one thing but I belive less is more and there is something to be said for refinement and elegance. The last thing I want a man to notice is me for is my body - he better be interested in my brain, my sense of humor, my passions, my sensitivity, strengths and vulnerabilities before my body. If I have to cheapen myself to a 'skank' level - I'll be cheating myself. I don't tease men. I don't use them for gifts, etc. I could and I know girls that do. I walked away from a relationship with a very wealthy man who was very enamoured with me - because I knew he wanted more than I could give. (Everyone thought I was nuts - he's a great guy, but not "THE" guy for me.) I'm upfront with every guy that I've dated that if he's just looking for a boink, he'd better move on. My list of standards are quite high - as I've been criticized for countless times. I hope you feel better for making those comments. And I hope that YOU never have to go thru what I have and that you never get 'support' from someone as utterly pathetic as yourself. I'll NEVER sink to your level. And I have one word for you: Karma. I hope I have a front row seat for yours. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.02.05 (4:39 pm) Reply to: VerucasSalty Thanks Salt. Even buying a pair of shoes didn't help. I stood in the shoe section crying. I really thought I'd feel a sense of relief, that something had been taken off my shoulders by reporting it - but I don't. posted by: SweetDiva (reply) post date: 09.02.05 (6:06 pm) (((hugs))) hun .. u don't have to explain yourself to idiots. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.02.05 (11:22 pm) Reply to: SweetDiva I know I'm deluded but I actually hope that I can make some of the idiots out there have a sense of humanity or sensitivity or class. I know, in some cases, it's a lost cause. IF they had the balls to post using their real names (you see I *do* know who this person is), I'd have a smidgen more respect for them. I am brutally honest myself (if my recent letter to April/Nightbreed asking her "What the fuck are you doing smoking when you have bronchitis and your son has asthma?" - the letter reeked of smoke so much that I had to let it air out in fresh air before I could stand reading it) Making comments directed to me that are so lacking in factual basis just show the calibre of person that they truly are. (And how I pity them - my life uber-sucks, but apparently theirs is worse.) posted by: trekguy (reply) post date: 09.03.05 (1:28 am) Bravo Girl! I'm proud of you for doing this! ((((Hugs from a far away Friend)))) posted by: baileydog (reply) post date: 09.03.05 (5:00 am) good job kiddo! posted by: NurseNancy (reply) post date: 09.03.05 (9:08 am) good for you! you did the right thing and now the justice system will ( hopefully) deal with the scumbag. Filing the charges will just open it all back up for you, so expect to relive it and to feel horrible. It's normal. As far as that other anonymous"newbie" comments goes, that's what the little garbage pail icon is for! Don't waste energy on them. posted by: Roxgirl (reply) post date: 09.03.05 (5:44 pm) I think that was the right thing to do! You are a very courageous woman! I wish you all the best! posted by: kreativekat (reply) post date: 09.04.05 (6:19 am) Good for you Scub! Men need to know what is inappropriate. I'm dealing with a Loser too and have thought of getting a restraining order to show him I mean NO. I like how you replied to Newbies comment. You're a classy lady to me :) Keep your chin up. posted by: chicalookate (reply) post date: 09.06.05 (3:57 am) I know it wasn't easy for you to do, but maybe it will keep him from doing the same to someone else. And it is hard to believe that people believe that the way women dress should decide on whether or not they are attacked. Just don't get it. I like the way you handled the comment... very classy. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.06.05 (10:56 am) Reply to: chicalookate It was beyond hard and it didn't help that the detective was such an ass. Apparently he missed the concept of treating someone with sensitivity. I agree that the way a woman dresses should not matter - but I also believe that she does have a responsibility in her own behavior. Some (usually young) girls are just asking for trouble the way they behave - they don't understand that there are consequences and they might get themselves in over their head. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.06.05 (10:58 am) Reply to: kreativekat The police said that they wouldn't consider a restraining order until he had threatened me. It's part of the reason that I didn't report it earlier- and once they do contact him, I'm going to be scared poopless. I hope you're able to get your restraining order. I have my mace and I looked into baseball bats yesterday. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.06.05 (10:59 am) Reply to: Roxgirl I wish I felt it was a good thing to do - I don't feel any better about it. I feel worse. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.06.05 (10:59 am) Reply to: NurseNancy It has reopened it like a floodgate. It really really sucks. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.06.05 (11:05 am) Reply to: baileydog Thanks. posted by: ScubaDiva (reply) post date: 09.06.05 (11:08 am) Reply to: trekguy I don't feel very positive about it. The whole thing make me feel even smaller. But thank you. posted by: linda (reply) post date: 09.06.05 (12:23 pm) It is a step forward and it was a brave thing to do, things will get better posted by: NurseNancy (reply) post date: 09.07.05 (11:49 am) Reply to: ScubaDiva that is normal and to be expected. It means you are reacting in the appropriate manner. |
by Redonthehead
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