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| Highly Suspect |
| 06.26.05 (7:33 pm) [edit] |
|
In the olden days (ie like when Trekguy wore polyester leisure suits and thought he looked smokin'), a woman past a certain age that was unmarried was called the dreaded term 'SPINSTER'... I don't know of any single woman, or any woman at all, that likes that word. It conjures up a picture of an elderly woman knitting doilies in a rocking chair talking about the 'beau' she had when she was 15 - she declined his proposal and never got another offer... Was there a certain age when a woman becomes 'a spinster'? And isn't that term outdated... Sort of like the police no longer use the term 'suspect' - they say the individual is a 'person of interest'. (When in reality we ALL know what they really mean...) And what is the male equivalent of a spinster? A bachelor. But it doesn't have the same connotation as the dreaded spinster. I'm past 30, single, and proud of it. I don't feel pressured to get married, squeeze out a few pups just to fit into the 'traditional ideal because I'm supposed to. When I was considering buying my house several years ago, my father said "Why, you're single - you don't need to buy a house until you're married." (Ugh) Feel free to discuss: a) what point does a 'maiden' become a spinster/old maid? b) why do guys get the more positive connotation of 'bachelor'? c) what's the purpose of changing from "suspect" to "person of interest"? d) a new term for spinster/old maid that we single gals can embrace and be proud of. e) whatever the hell you want. (If I don't like what you say, I'll delete it - LOL) (And Trekguy, you know I'm just playing with you) |
posted by: Roxgirl (reply)
post date: 06.26.05 (7:18 pm)
I think the term "Spinster" is a thing of the past. It's "Bachelorette" now-a-days.... thanks hugely to reality TV :)
I'm nearing 30 (well, closer to 30 than to 20 now!) and I'm still single also. Unlike the "spinster" you've described in your little anticdote, I have NEVER been proposed to!!! Not even at 15 just for "fun". :(
I was just dicussing this very subject with kreativekat today... us older, single women have it quite hard these days!
posted by: bastard (reply)
post date: 06.26.05 (9:03 pm)
what about "old hag"?
LMAO!!!
posted by: trekguy (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (3:39 am)
Bachelorette is approprate IMHO! Don't do somehitng just becuase you "supposed to" is something I've always stuck by! So I applaud you single "older" women! And your not really old till your in your 70s! LOL
I know your playing with me!! I Hated leisure suits BTW. My uncle did wear them and they looked just as stupid on him and every other guy I've ever seen wear one!!
posted by: onebadjen (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (5:50 am)
speaking of labels with negative connotations... you know what i hate? people calling me a single mother. i was married for 12 years. we had the kid after being married 7 of them. my ex is as involved in my kid's life as about as much as any father i know that is still married to the mother. so how am i a SINGLE MOM?
also, my son now comes from what is called a "broken home." in my opinon with my ex and i divorced, it was broken before, but is now fixed.
as far as "spinsterhood" yeah "bachlorette" has replaced it to a degree for those in their 30's i think... now when we hit 40... i wonder what then?
posted by: Roxgirl (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (5:53 am)
Reply to: onebadjen
"Cougar"
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (6:12 am)
Reply to: trekguy
Did you get a perm when you were younger?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (6:15 am)
Reply to: onebadjen
If you are divorced, technically, you're not a single mother. (A single mother is going to have a 'baby's daddy - LOL)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (6:16 am)
Reply to: bastard
If that's the case, and I liked you, I could be a fag hag then - right?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (6:20 am)
Reply to: Roxgirl
I was proposed to at 16, and repeatedly afterwards by a guy that swore he'd marry me one day. (No way in heck)
One of the nicest things ever said to me was by a guy that said he couldn't believe I had never been married -that I was such a catch or something like that.
I bet we can pay someone some tbucks to propose to you....
posted by: onebadjen (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (6:51 am)
Reply to: Roxgirl
cougar? hmm... i am only 33, but i don't plan on being married again... i better practice my growling...
*growls*
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (6:54 am)
Reply to: onebadjen
Nah.... How 'bout 'Tigress"? Sounds saucier. Dangerous yet sexy.
And you can never ever have enough tiger print stretch tube tops and matching spankex pants. And shoes. And earrings. And purse.
posted by: onebadjen (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (6:54 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
see, that is my opinion of it... maybe there is just so much of that around they assume its the case? also people will assume my ex and i married when the kid was conceived... i don't look 33. people assume i had the boy when i was like 18 or 19 and that i am in my mid to late 20's.
posted by: AmyHCAlum (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (9:28 am)
B/C I LOVE Bridget Jones, I love her use of the term "singleton" as a person of interest & nonmarried status. I love, even more, her term "smugmarrieds", for people who are married & who are convinced they have it better than single folks. Ha!
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (12:11 pm)
cougar is the term for a divorced thirty or forty something female with a couple of cubs in tow who likes younger guys. There's a web site that's slightly amusing for those who have a burning desire for knowledge. When I got married, and signed the register in the church, my name was written with the word "spinster" beside it! I was barely 23!!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (1:06 pm)
Reply to: NurseNancy
I did not know that. Granted, when my female friends spawn, it usually ends our friendship because I cannot relate to Gymboree and discussions of breast feeding. We become different animals.
posted by: bastid (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (2:04 pm)
touche, mi ami, touche ;)
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (2:28 pm)
I think that the word "spinster" is ok. It has a negative ring to it but that is more a reflection on our culture than on the word itself. unfortunately changing the word wont change how our culture views older single women. So I say, embrace the word and lets show everyone that some of us are still ok and not total losers just because we dont happen to have a ring on our finger
posted by: SweetDiva (reply)
post date: 06.27.05 (3:11 pm)
What kind of bullshit is tht for your 'father' to say to you?
When I was talking about wanting to buy a house/condo a few years ago I was telling my cousin that I was trying to wait till I got married so that man and I could do that together....but seeing how I'm not getting any younger I have to start getting it together to do it myself. And my cousins responds was you DON'T need a man to buy a house, he was like you are able and can do it on your own.
And my dads responds was the same.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.28.05 (4:43 am)
Reply to: SweetDiva
Considering I haven't spoken to him in years... Rather telling of what I think of him as a whole. He's a turd.
He also said he had money set aside for my wedding. Now he wouldn't pay for my college because I didn't go to the school he wanted and major in business... So I would assume that if he didn't approve of the guy I was (theoretically) going to marry, that I wouldn't get the money either...
So I asked him if I could have the money when I was 24, to invest, and I'd return the principal after I had doubled it.
He said no... (Shocking)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.28.05 (4:56 am)
Reply to: lynne
What about the latest craze of women buying diamond rings to wear on their right hand?
posted by: Saint027 (reply)
post date: 06.28.05 (10:07 am)
I've never heard the term "couger" before. Does that mean I'm the prey? Cool ...
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 06.29.05 (12:33 pm)
Reply to: Saint027
depends how young you are. go to www.cougar.com
by Redonthehead