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| Coincidence or Not? |
| 05.20.04 (10:26 pm) [edit] |
|
I've run the gamut of emotions in the past 2 days about my friend's suicide. But, there have been a couple of concidences that seem just too "coincidental" to not feel that she had something to do with it. 1) The day I send her a card - the first since Xmas, I get the note about her suicide that very same day.... 2) Needless to say, I didn't sleep well that night and was really tense and restless. The accupunturist called me the next morning to say she suddenly had a cancellation in an hour. She said she never gets cancellations. It was exactly what I needed. 3) Last night I was cleaning my home office. I came upon a mug that I had packed up when I was moving out of my mom's house about 12 years ago. Inside it, was some newspaper crunched up. I open it - and inside was 3- 1inch figurines that she had given me. (All the figurines were bunnies - she used to love to give me bunny things...) Why of all nights was I suddenly unpacking a mug from my high school to discover those? 4) Tonight, when I'm walking houseguests out to their car, there are NINE bunnies in my front yard. I live in metro Atlanta - one or two bunnies is an occasional occurance. I saw them and just felt a sense of peace. Like it was a signal from her. Do I sound totally wacky? I'm flying out Saturday compliments of Frequent Flier miles to Houston for her memorial (which her EX-Husband is speaking at!!!) The woman at ticketing office upgraded me to first class both ways. P.S. I finally spoke to my father this afternoon - and he was a total ass. Suddenly, I don't feel any regret about the past 6 years not speaking to him. I'll blog about it later - for right now, I just want to write about it in my "real journal". Since I've been filling up journals for years about him... I'm amazed at how calm I am with all this stuff going on around me. (Must be the xanax I took - kidding!) |
posted by: Daisymae (reply)
post date: 05.21.04 (2:12 pm)
I don't think your crazy...sounds to me like they are "signs". The fact that your feeling peaceful about them is awesome!
posted by: dumblondegirl (reply)
post date: 05.21.04 (3:23 pm)
Those totally sound like signs and I believe in those things.
posted by: misskendy (reply)
post date: 05.21.04 (3:30 pm)
I believe! *hugs*
posted by: Sybil (reply)
post date: 05.21.04 (3:34 pm)
Not so crazy.
Years ago, I was engaged to a man named John. I loved him endlessly. One day, he was diagnosed with cancer, and literally two weeks later, he was dead.
In one of those conversations that takes place between lovers, when one of them is dying, he said to me... 'I'll never leave you. Whenever you see a bluejay at your window, it'll be me.'
That was in 1986. Since that time, every spring, I have never failed to have a bluejay come to my window, buzzing by and sitting on the ledge for a good 5 minutes.
And I've lived in 3 different homes since he died.
I believe too.
posted by: JennsAbsent (reply)
post date: 05.21.04 (5:52 pm)
Oh sweetie. If I could, I would wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug I could! Emotions have a way of making us see things in a new light.
Have faith.....this too shall pass.
Hugs.
posted by: Greybeard (reply)
post date: 05.21.04 (6:22 pm)
Check out my 5-12 blog if you haven't already. Bunnys could be a good sign. Take the message.
posted by: sunnyc (reply)
post date: 05.21.04 (7:07 pm)
Sometimes, the universe, the spirits, G*d speaks to us quietly...when we need comfort, guidance, or just to remind us that they're there. You hear them when you're ready to listen. You just heard them, that's all. Take care, you're in good company...=)
posted by: Unadeluna (reply)
post date: 05.22.04 (7:03 am)
There are signs everywhere! They are just not obvious until we need them.
But I wanted to let you know that my chemo is not over but it is working. I got a call from my Nephrologist to tell me that my kidneys are healing! Just thought you might want to know. Stay strong!
posted by: alltheblogthatsfittoprint (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (4:52 am)
Bless your heart ScubaDiva - I wish you peace, blessings and comfort ....
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:09 am)
Reply to: alltheblogthatsfittoprint
Thanks. I was angry at her before I went to the memorial service - now I understand a lot more. But, I'm absolutely seething at her sons and the people that just didn't have time for her...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:10 am)
Reply to: Unadeluna
That's AWESOME about your kidneys!!! And are you feeling better? (on top of the good news?)
The 'signs' have been comforting... Thanks again for the positive thoughts.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:12 am)
Reply to: sunnyc
Thanks... I am on a pendulum between bittersweet tears and memories flooding through my mind and wanting to strangle her sons.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:24 am)
Reply to: JennsAbsent
Thanks for the cyber-hug. I can't have enough of those lately. ;)
You made me think... Remember that saying - if you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, it's yours, if not, shoot it down and kill it? I was thinking of combining
This too will pass - and hunt them down and shoot 'em (her sons). And I'm kidding. I don't have enough frequent flyer miles left for those trips. LOL
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:26 am)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
I told my mother about the bunnies - her response was "it's bunny season - they are hatching everywhere" Gee mom, thanks for being supportive once again.
Despite her, I still think it was something to do with Beth... I just wish my memory wasn't so fucked up so that I could recall more details of our memories...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:28 am)
Reply to: Sybil
WOW. Maybe next time your friend shows up, you could tell him to pass along to his fellow bluebird friends to not chase my cats and screech so loud? LOL
Thanks for sharing your story - it means a lot to know I'm not completely nuts.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:29 am)
Reply to: misskendy
Thanks. Cyber-hugs are good.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:31 am)
Reply to: dumblondegirl
Thanks. I'm just keping myself open to the possibilities. It sounds crazy - but I hope the executor of her will asks me to come back down to Houston to help inventory things. I'd love to spend time in her house - this is going to sound crazy, but I hope her spirit would visit me there... Just to know - she's really ok. I still feel so guilty that somehow I should have done more.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:34 am)
Reply to: Daisymae
I'm trying to remain positive after all the drama of what I heard at the memorial service. I stayed out of the stuff with her sons while she was alive - it was something she didn't want to talk about. I didn't press it - but things were apparently a lot worse than I was aware of.
posted by: JennsAbsent (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (7:59 am)
lol.. talk about your blessings in disguise!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (11:30 am)
"i have had sum mighty weird things happen to me as well..."
Coming from you, I would believe it you had aliens, Pat Sajak and BigFoot over for dinner...
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 05.23.04 (4:52 pm)
Not crazy.
I think what you've been seeing are not coincidences. Sometimes things happen for signs to us.
Xanax can be a good tool to help you through stuff that's tough. :-/
posted by: Gigi (reply)
post date: 05.26.04 (9:12 am)
I'm so sorry for your loss! And I definitely think those are signs and not wacky at all, especially unpacking the figurine and the lawn bunnies. I hope they helped you feel a bit better.
by Redonthehead