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| Get THIS off my chest! |
| 05.11.04 (2:02 pm) [edit] |
|
I admit it. I'm in a shitty mood and it's a result of a shitty day. I should go check my horoscope to see if it warns me from being attacked by a rouge swarm of mutant killer bees. It's been one of those days... My phone has been off for 3 days. I called the fucked-up phone company (AKA TalkAmerica) and requested that my fax/office lines be disconnected three weeks ago. Considering they've fucked up absolutely EVERY thing I've asked them to do, I called 2x to verify it was entered correctly AND emailed them 3x. So, of course, they shut off all my lines. And I have no reception on my cell phone in my house. Or my neighborhood. To make a call, I must walk out of my neighborhood and up a hill to make/receive a call. OR, I could climb on top of my roof, but I thought that would be a bad idea... Had to get up/moving early this a.m. for my favorite doctor. (She really cares) but lately she's dropped the ball b/c she's really being overworked. She is still of the belief that I"m fucked health-wise and I should just "accept things" and consider this my quality of life. (Which pisses me off - it's my life, I'm not giving up, so why the hell should she?) Then someone tells me that the guy that broke my heart that I'm pretty much over has a new gf. It bothers me - and I don't know why. If he came back groveling, I couldn't take him back. I care about him - it's my nature to care, so why do I feel crappy about it? Three friends last week said they'd call me to do lunch this week. I take it personally. I think it has to do with the fact that right now, I have no life. I don't have the energy to do much of anything. All that I can talk about is books I've read, something I've caught on tv or my health (which bores the shit out of people). They ask: who am I dating (no one), when's my next dive trip (don't know), how's work (I'm on leave)... I try to focus the convo's on others, but I think it becomes obvious. The catch-22 is, if I don't put on the "upbeat cheery diva" mask, they can't stand to be around me. And when I do that, they say behind my back that I act ok. My job called (I'm on short-term disability transitioning over to long-term disability) and said I need to go ahead and resign. I'm like, "whaaaaa?" She was muttering something about how I'll still continue to receive benefits blah blah blah. I kept my mouth shut, will see what she sends me in writing. So, to top things off, I'm feeling particularly destructive and feel like calling my father (with my # blocked) and see if he answers and make him feel like shit. (Why be in this alone?) And, I miss working out. I hate life today. Ok, done bitching for now. But I retain the right to bitch more later. |
posted by: kre8ivemom (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (11:19 am)
Soory things are so crappy for you right now. I certainly hope some good news is headed your way soon. Take Care
posted by: Cyberpal (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (12:28 pm)
Hey rant as much as you want Scubs, good to get stuff off your chest!
Sorry it just seems to be shitty lately, but I hope it gets better... Keep your chin up! :)
posted by: vigilante (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (1:13 pm)
I'm sorry about the ex-boy's rebound. That's no fun. I recall a friendly parting where I ran into the ex-gal at the movies later that same week. Even though I initiated the seperation and even though we had not been close, it still was a disappointment.
posted by: vigilante (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (1:15 pm)
To clarify, she was on a date at the movies.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (1:18 pm)
Reply to: chicalookate
You always make me laugh girl!
Thanks
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (1:18 pm)
Reply to: kre8ivemom
I need to go check my horoscope - maybe I'll win the lottery tomorrow?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (1:19 pm)
Reply to: Cyberpal
Thanks hon.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (1:21 pm)
Reply to: vigilante
That sucks. He and I run in such different circles that I would never run into him. I wish that person wouldn't have told me about it... This person thinks the ex is dirt and knows how I've struggled with things - so I don't get why he'd tell me the news.
posted by: kratesis (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (8:43 pm)
Scuba Diva, what's your health issue? If you don't mind me asking!
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 05.11.04 (9:53 pm)
:-( I'm sorry to hear about your day, too, Girl. Some are definitely worse than others. I hope you know that even though we're all in blogland here, you can vent til your heart's content.
I hope you start to feel energised physically. What state are you in? And what is it that's ailing you? (I hope I'm not asking too many questions.) :-/
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.12.04 (5:57 am)
Reply to: kratesis
Multiple health issues - I have systemic lupus, sjogren's syndrome, raynauds phenomenon, systemic vasculitis, antiphisiolipid syndrome. (Translation: autoimmune system havoc)
But, I was recently diagnosed with Cushings Syndrome, which is a tumor on the pituitary gland. It's rare and dealing with the doctors, insurance, etc is frustrating me...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.12.04 (5:58 am)
Reply to: SheSpecies
I'm in Atlanta, Georgia. I detailed all of my health ailments in a reply to Kratesis' question right before your comment.
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 05.12.04 (10:34 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Eh...my bad...::reading::
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 05.12.04 (10:36 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Okay. I'm writing this down. I want to ask my QiGong instructor if they know anything energy-related for signals that might assist with symptoms with any of your ailments.
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 05.12.04 (10:38 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Insurance can be such an asspain with all the pre-existing symptom premiums, et cetera.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.13.04 (7:27 am)
Post more - it's lonely here at the top. LMAO
by Redonthehead