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| Penis Enlargement |
| 05.07.04 (5:42 pm) [edit] |
|
I just got my 4, 281st email about enlarging my penis. I find this ironic as I don't have one (well, I don't have one that doesn't require batteries). Someday I would like to have a penis of my very own (with a cute stable sweet guy attached to it that likes yardwork). It got me to thinking. (This is where you mutter "uh-oh") If I was a male, and my penis size was truly an issue to me, or I felt self-conscious about it, wouldn't I have SOUGHT different solutions out? I mean, is there ANYONE that has not received a spam about penis enlargement? (And you guys - about breast enlargement?) I'm sure if I was a guy and my love commando was dimunitive, I'd certainly be looking for ways to maximize its appearance. Suggestion: Guys - have you ever thought of using a contouring powder? We girls use it on our chest to give the illusion of larger breasts - why not give it a try??? Maybe wearing vertical stripes along that area would also enhance its appearance. Or, wear a brightly colored shirt to detract attention away from your lower regions. I also read that doing some "manscaping" around there can give the appearance of greater length and girth. (Is anyone willing to step forward and confirm it?) And I was also wondering - we girls tend to talk about different products we use that we like - ie "long lasting lipstick". Do you guys in the locker room ever ask each other if they've tried a particular "lengthening" product. (Or for that matter, one that -pardon the pun - extends the experience?) Is there ANYONE that will come forward and admit that they have replied to those emails (fret not, we'll put you under the witness protection program because you're the sole reason those damn emails keep coming - some geek idiot in an audio-visual lab in Akron ordered those pills and dammed the rest of us to an onslaught of these emails!) Just a thought... |
posted by: bleiben (reply)
post date: 05.07.04 (2:50 pm)
what is even more ironic is that the blog before yours was about penis enhancement.
ain't nothing too wrong with a skinny dick....just short ones.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.07.04 (2:53 pm)
Reply to: bleiben
That's what made me do it. I saw that and went to town with mine.
Short, long, skinny, fat - as long as they know what to do with it and understand the concept of foreplay, it's all good. (Unless you're hung like John Holmes or Tiny Tim - then we have to talk....)
posted by: Lloyd (reply)
post date: 05.07.04 (3:00 pm)
You should check out www.zug.com
posted by: Brayton (reply)
post date: 05.07.04 (8:01 pm)
I havent been self conscience about this topic since I was a teenager, sometime in the last century (isnt it cool that we live in an age where we can say that with sincerity?)My personal "take" on this subject, is that, if it were inherited, and there was some magical or scietific way to actually enlarge an inadequate penile endowment, then the father of all geneticaly challenged sons, would sit them down at some young age and givin the device during the "Birds and Bees" discussion, and no one would be the wiser. Of course, this idea brings all kinds of absurd and comical situations to mind, perhaps since you are so reflective and gifted at writing these sorts of things, you could write a fictional "Father to Son" speech about the topic of heredical penis size and the challenges associated with it. give it some thought. I would look forward to reading it.
P.S. manscaping, lol, only if a nice, pretty lady voluteered to "lend a hand".
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.07.04 (8:23 pm)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
I'm glad I'm able to amuse you - I was laughing as I typed it. I think it's one of my faves even if it hasn't gotten a lot of attention....
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.07.04 (8:27 pm)
Reply to: Brayton
If the occasion rose for an initial intimate encounter with a guy - and it was not properly maintained, that would be it. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
We women pluck and wax and shave and do a bunch of high-maintenance painful and expensive shit - the least you guys can do is tame the overgrown brush around your tallywacker.
posted by: pussicat (reply)
post date: 05.07.04 (9:01 pm)
Oh that was so funny ;) I also get a ton of those spam e-mails, I just want to reply and go I don't have a penis stop bothering me lol ;)
posted by: reducto (reply)
post date: 05.07.04 (11:46 pm)
I pity dudes with small dicks....it's...just...sad....
joking......I get all sorts of spam about finding a better interest rate on a home loan.....
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (4:45 am)
Reply to: reducto
Why don't you reply to the home loan ones asking for loan for a sex change so you can get it your breasts enlarged once you get some.
posted by: Isaac (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (5:51 am)
The ads and spam would disappear if there were no one buying them. But spam is still there because they make enough profit to fund the spamming. So the solution to it is to just ignore it. And ask others that complain about the same to also do so, and they'll eventually disappear.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (6:04 am)
Reply to: Isaac
That may be so - but I want to find the f'kers that are replying and beat the hell out of them and string them up by their wankers. ;)
posted by: Rasta (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (11:54 am)
I get a lot of ones saying that I should get breast implants...I am not thiking about it. When my blog stops being funny...people will still come for pics.
"God this blog sucks...but he's got a nice rack!"
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (12:10 pm)
Reply to: Rasta
No, you get implants and you'll be too busy feeling yourself up to bother updating your blog.
posted by: Rasta (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (12:13 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
which may be good. Accoring to mblog:
"I didn't understand your point about spelling. Clearly, neither you nor the author of that piece knows how to spell or how to write simple words correctly, even if you were supposed to have learned them by the second grade.
I know that there are some bad spellers who argue that their ignorance is irrelevant, and I should trust that their viewpoint is an educated one, but I just can't see that.
It goes beyond spelling, though. When you differentiate based on communism, it shows that you don't have a clue about politics yourself. Communism has nothing to do with spelling. "
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (12:16 pm)
Reply to: Rasta
I dare you to reply to him commenting about his run-on first sentence.
Break out your red pen and go to town (oh, and get a life while you're at it dude!)
posted by: Rasta (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (12:18 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
yea because we all know I have none. I'm 16 should I? And you really are an asshole. But here is my reply:
Reply to: mblog
I musted agreded wit u. Eye have know spelling edyoucation whatsoever.
Wen eye was in grade school....wait eye still am...they(them being them voices in meh head) called me Jayme spellman....If u didnt know my last name is selman...isnt that great
appeciate(however you spell it) da comment,
Jayme spellman
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (12:19 pm)
Reply to: Rasta
ha
posted by: Axanar (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (3:41 pm)
I'm very comfortable..they call me the "two liter bottle man" and I Loooooove yard work..especially pruning bushes
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.08.04 (6:21 pm)
Reply to: Axanar
well, it's a little late now, yard edged and mowed, weeds pulled or sprayed, garden weeded and some plantings spaced out, cleaned out the gutters, branches in the peach tree cut, bird feeders filled, bird baths cleaned out and refilled..
I can't remember what else, I'm too damn tired...
Leave
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 05.10.04 (10:31 pm)
Reply to: bleiben
Skinny dick is no fun...
I can imagine I'd be sort of bitchy if I was dating a guy. I think maybe I'm a size queen. :-/
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 05.10.04 (10:32 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
No shit! Bring on the Brasilian waxes!
posted by: Isaac (reply)
post date: 07.24.04 (5:00 pm)
Uh...
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 12.26.04 (4:58 pm)
"I'm sure if I was a guy and my love commando was dimunitive, I'd certainly be looking for ways to maximize its appearance"
I'd never put my beloved penis through such torture, no matter how tiny it (he?) is.
Those who do have issues.
by Redonthehead