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| Types of Sex |
| 04.26.04 (10:38 am) [edit] |
|
[b]SOCIAL SECURITY SEX: [/b]Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!" [b]LOUD SEX:[/b] A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!" [b]QUIET SEX: [/b]Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!" [b]CONFOUNDED SEX:[/b] A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, and $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen". [b]WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX:[/b] A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: |
posted by: J (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (9:14 am)
lol..too funny. where do u get all this stuff?
u know what scuba..you're alright. ;)
posted by: forevermystical (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (9:41 am)
Hilarious! I've heard the first 2,but not the others. :)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (9:54 am)
Reply to: J
Someone sent it to me...
Glad to know I have your stamp of approval. Now if only my probation officer and psychiatrist felt the same way. (KIDDING!)
posted by: J (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (10:09 am)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
HA HA. very funny. ..or is it??
lol >:p
posted by: Cyberpal (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (11:01 am)
Funny, very funny. Liked the one abt Loud Sex, had me rolling on the floor!! =)
posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (11:06 am)
LOL. i love it! i'm used to the social security sex...lol.
posted by: twelveshots (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (3:38 pm)
Howlarious!!!!
posted by: SSWarrior (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (3:46 pm)
lmao that is real funny
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (4:50 pm)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
Huh???
posted by: Atomsk (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (6:13 pm)
LMFAO oh my god that was good
posted by: tobiasfunke (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (6:56 pm)
Seems to be the sure-fire way to get readers-put the word 'sex' in the title. Uh, wait, what am I doing here? Dang, it worked on me too!
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (8:07 pm)
Reply to: tobiasfunke
I didn't study marketing and psychology for nothin'. Sucka! It works every time. :)
Hope it made you laugh. Did you read Saturday's posting about my bush?
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 04.29.04 (11:45 pm)
Those last 2 were hysterical!!
posted by: kinkykatie (reply)
post date: 05.02.04 (7:51 am)
haha the loud sex and anniversary sex ones had me laughing for a while
by Redonthehead