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| My Bush... |
| 04.24.04 (2:07 pm) [edit] |
|
I woke up this morning and decided I absolutely HAD to trim my bush today. It has been neglected for waaaay to long and quite honestly, it's rather embarrassing. I probably should have let a professional do it, but I have this thing about strangers and my bush - I wanted it done MY way. Ya know? Anyway, got out all the tools and even donned my purple leather gloves. Sat down and started whacking. I must have looked like Edward Scissorhands, chopping like a madman. Then I took a step back to admire my work - omg - it looked horrible - uneven -scraggily even - it's going to take ages to grow out. And then what do I see? A snake slither out from under the bush. OMG I screamed - I'm sure the neighbors thought "what the hell is she up to now!" You do realize I'm talking about a boxwood bush in the front of my house you perv, don't you? So I decide to really get into things - so I sit down on the ground, I'm chopping away - then i see an ant on my leg - and look down and realize I'm pretty much covered in them! OMG I'm sitting on an ant nest! I jump up and almost tear off my clothes right there in the front yard - instead I grab the hose and douse myself (white shirt and all) in water. At that point, be dammed, my bush will have to suffer for a few more years before I do that again. |
posted by: shiny (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (11:36 am)
lol thats funny! talk about a bad day! im linkin u 2 ma blog!
posted by: Blowhole (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (12:16 pm)
After reading the first paragraph, im glad to know that my mind is still as perverted as it was in college.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (1:25 pm)
Reply to: Blowhole
I'm glad too! LOL
posted by: SSWarrior (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (1:27 pm)
funny babe..thought you were talken about your pubics...lol
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (1:31 pm)
Reply to: SSWarrior
That was the point you silly! I was thinking about what I'd say while I was doing it. Fortunately, my nether regions are not so poorly neglected that they would necessitate a weed wacker.
posted by: SSWarrior (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (1:37 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
I'd wack it for ya hun..and at no cost
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (1:47 pm)
Reply to: SSWarrior
I don't think I'd ever let it get to the point it needed a wacking... But thank you for the offer - ;)
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (2:01 pm)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
You have a DIRTY mind.
posted by: ManicDepressant (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (2:24 pm)
LOL!!!!!! My mind was workin way to hard on thoughs paragrahs at the begining. I love the blog, and im sure that if ya want ya bush cut anytime i'll be avalible (and i'm no longer talk bout ur garden ;) )
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (2:55 pm)
Reply to: KRAZEDONE
I've had so many offers to help with my own "grooming' in the future. On one condition - they get a Brazlian first... Every man should feel that pain at least once. ;)
posted by: chicalookate (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (3:43 pm)
Thanks for the laughs... and since I am at work I needed a couple.
posted by: sillyklutz (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (4:41 pm)
thanks for the funny entry! lols. you are too cool.
posted by: Sybil (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (5:28 pm)
You know what they say....
"A snake in the bush is worth.....",
uh, no that's not it.
"A bush in the hand is worth two in the... " No, that's not it either.
Ah crap, I can't remember what they say.
:)
posted by: LiquidChaos (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (5:49 pm)
i dont remember either. but this blog amuses me...
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (5:49 pm)
Reply to: Sybil
LMAO
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (5:50 pm)
Reply to: LiquidChaos
That's the sole reason for my existence - to amuse you. I am now nursing ant bites, blisters on my hands and scratches all over my arms. If I had tended to my bush more regularly...
posted by: Atomsk (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (10:33 pm)
LOL my god thats a great post. you have on crazy life indeed
posted by: forevermystical (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (12:04 am)
LMFAO!! *Note to self..next time reading this blog,be wearing a diaper and have no drink of any kind in my mouth.* I literally just had to wipe some water off my computer screen cause I spit it out from laughing at the first paragraph! Not that I had a perverted thought or anything...my mind is pure! ;)
posted by: ODUwildman (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (3:05 am)
In a word:
"Outstanding"
I was like "boxwood? WTF?"
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (8:25 am)
Oh man, I have similar issues with my bush ;)
posted by: Coldtones (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (9:52 am)
its good to keep your bush trimmed, that way it looks and feels healthy. the bush has a mind of its own and feelings, so it likes to look nice to promote its own bush esteem
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (10:01 am)
Reply to: Coldtones
Maybe I'll post some pics of my bush on photobucket one day.
LMAO
posted by: x0br0ken0x (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (10:22 am)
HAHAHAHHA! rotflmao! ok that was a good laugh..
posted by: MonAmour (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (12:51 pm)
DAMMIT !! U freakin' funny as ! :D - I must admit my mind was going elsewhere for a secs there ;p
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (12:53 pm)
Reply to: MonAmour
Perv! LMAO
posted by: SheSpecies (reply)
post date: 04.25.04 (12:53 pm)
::laughs her ass off::
posted by: Answermeister (reply)
post date: 04.26.04 (8:26 pm)
That gave me an orgasm.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.27.04 (5:34 am)
Reply to: Answermeister
Then YOU need to get out more. Maybe I won't post the pic of my bush - it might send you over the edge.
posted by: freakykat (reply)
post date: 04.27.04 (9:21 am)
shit i'm perverted
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 04.27.04 (9:57 am)
Reply to: freakykat
You are not alone. Apparently all the freaks of the world belong to Tblog. bawahahaha
posted by: Answermeister (reply)
post date: 05.02.04 (9:41 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
Haha! No, no you misunderstood me. I was referring to the finger up my ass and the vibrator down my panties. But the jokes were good as well.
by Redonthehead