Okay, here's the short version of my rant about the most unstable nutcase client I've ever encountered...

I attend a lot of networking events. From county chamber breakfasts, lunches, evening events and a variety of groups large and small. I've done this for years. I meet people, tell them what I do, learn what they do so that perhaps we can refer business. If you are in Atlanta and need a professional in any field, I can connect you.

I also get a lot of referrals. I have a nickname related to the type of services I offer but I won't say it here to keep my anonymity. I hate the nickname but I've learned to embrace it because when someone mentions it - there is an immediate connection.

I've crossed paths with a woman that I don't like for years. Her version of 'networking' is to approach you and say something like "I can help you lose 25 lbs." First thing out of her mouth. My thoughts are "F*ck you." She does this to EVERYONE. All she does is push her stuff, never asking what you do or if she can refer business to you. It's all about her.

I try to be cordial to those types but I've avoided her at all costs. She's sort of 'known' for being like that. Completely what networking is NOT about.

Several months ago, I am at a lunch where we all stand up and give a 60 second summary of what we do and who a good referral for us is. Immediately after the lunch, she corners me and says she HAS to speak to me. (We have monthly minimums and I was pretty sure she wouldn't be spending that much on her own or be willing to spend it herself.)

I set up an appt at her 'office'. It's a home. I am quite knowledgeable about what I do, and it is fascinating - in contrast to most of my team mates, I'm not a 'sales person' - I educate people. And this lady was requiring a remedial-level lesson.

So she's a hypnotist. And there's a couch for her clients to lay down on for a session. Right next to the head of the couch is a litterbox. And the place REEKS of cat.

She wants to focus on stress release, weight loss, stopping smoking, yada yada yada. I tell her that there is a monthly minimum and even with that minimum she couldn't go after ALL those areas. So she wanted to focus on stress relief.

I explained to her that she will need to let me handle it. (She's an uber-control freak.) I didn't want her as a client but, she was desperate to come on board. (And her website was atrocious) I told her that she'd need to make some minor adjustments - her site was like a painted-whore - too painted up and was confusing to visitors. (I didn't say that but I told her we'd need to clarify the message, have a clear call to action, etc.)

She wanted me to review this with her husband, who was a 'marketing professional'. (In reality,  he's a multi-level marketing cretin that doesn't know his butt from a hole in the wall.) He wanted to know how much I would pay him for his referrals. I told him I don't work that way. (And all of his clients have the same template horrible websites.) Totally arrogant and completely wrong in a multitude of different data that he professed to know. Trying to tell me that me, certified industry professional with over 12 years of experience managing more than 20x monthly budgets than him - he was just so darn arrogant. Total A-type power-tripper. (And "A" stands for A-hole)

So we're taking over her campaign. She's calling me ALL the time. 6:30 am. Weekends. I tell her she has to relax a bit - let me do my job. Reassured her. Sent her detailed email about what to expect. I kept reassuring her, acknowledging and empathizing. But the woman would not let up. Her tone in VM's was completely unacceptable. I let my ass't listen to them - she was dumbfounded. Customer had been running for a week and was apparently expecting the phone to be ringing off the hook instaneously.

She called on a Monday morning 5x during our weekly meeting. I had tried to encourage her to email or text me so that I could research/handle things without playing phone tag. She said she didn't communicate well with email or texting - that she needed the personal attention of voice communication. The urgency of her calls? She had gotten a phone call on a Sunday - and she doesn't work on Sundays. Um, okay. 

Wanting to personally review her campaign. Telling her to chill. (I've spent more time with her than I have my other 30+ clients collectively in the first 3 weeks.) I'll leave the hypnotism to her, and she needs to let me do what she's hired us to do.

She calls into the office and gets my ass't. Talks really rudely to her too (and my ass't has the patience of a Saint.) My ass't forwards to my boss. (I've already spoken to him about her - telling him I don't know how else to please this woman. She is SO high-maintenance. He tells me I haven't sold her enough. I've spent HOURS and HOURS going over this with her.)

She is supposedly helping people relieve stress and seek peace and serenity in their lives. Yet she is screaming at me, my ass't, and I don't know what she said to my boss. The woman is supremely the most unhappy discontent person I've encountered (except her husband). I feel sorry for the woman. I have been acknowledged for having the highest client retention in the office - but I wanted to strangle the woman.

In the end, while I was on medical leave, she called into our corporate office. They got so fed up with her incessant insanity that they fired her. We told her we would not do business with her further. Refunded her money. Seriously. I chuckled.

The Turkish Photog had expressed interest in going to see the Terracotta Army on Sunday. He texted me saying he was driving back from Charlotte (assuming he was seeing the girl he 'broke up with' and claimed he was only seeing because she would boink him).

He used some other phrase-ology, but you can figure it out. It rhymes with 'cluck'.

The he suggests I 'cum' over to see him and 'talk about things'.
Um, no.

I told him, that in no uncertain terms, I would never be available to him for a hook-up. That should I ever want to hook-up, that I have someone else that would always be my first choice.

And that we should save ourselves the trouble and quit interacting. That I was deleting his number/email. Asked him to do the same and quit contacting me.

He replied something about a 3-some with his girlfriend.
I didn't really read it. I wished him luck with that and deleted his contact info.
This should be the end of it.
I hope so.
I'm REALLY REALLY over it.

If only that guy, Max, from Dancing with the Stars would get eliminated so I wouldn't have to see him on tv.
(Turk Photog is a dead ringer for him)
 

Knocked out my domestic duties this morning, vacuuming, trash, laundry since I am up at 5:17 am.

Those of you that have been reading my postings for a while will have to join me on a walk down memory lane...
I (briefly) dated a guy named "Ned".
I was really starting to fall for him.
But I was dumped.
Via email.

Moved on.
He did too.
He quickly got in another relationship.
He's now married + child with her.
Fine. Happy for him.

But she was reading/commenting on my blog.
I found that quite...creepy.
I have never met her - but I emailed him and said I would appreciate it if she would leave my blog alone.

Fast forward.
My boss sends me invites for LinkedIn every other week.
I don't want him to know who I know.
So I just ignore the requests.
I thought I might as well check to make sure he isn't following me on Twitter.
(1/3 of my Tweeps are venting about him)
I am dumbfounded to see that "Ned" is following my Twittering.

Huh?
I haven't spoken to him in 4 years.
We exchanged an email via LinkedIn a year or so when I saw an announcement of his child's birth.
Told him I was happy for him.

Regardless,I blocked him from following me on Twitter.
Just too creepy.
And then I went on my 'other' blog and wrote about it.
I wrote how it was just creepy that he'd (for whatever reason) would follow me.

Hop on the other blog to update and see that I have a comment on the last posting about the Twittering. And it's from him! He writes a lengthy response about how he AND his wife are following me - how I'm a really interesting writing and they enjoy following my life.

Seriously?

Please... Someone tell me. Is this NOT creepy?

Copy the link and paste it if it doesn't work directly. You'll laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikH9ZRcF2Q" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikH9ZRcF2Q" target="_blank"http://www.youtube.com/watch?...

Yesterday, via text, the roomie (because i don't know what else to call him) suggested we catch a movie today.
He still won't explain WTF happened last week - other than saying that it had 'nothing' to do with me and that 'sometime' he'd 'tell me about it'.

I figured we would get into it with the movie.
And I also really didn't expect him to follow through.

But this am, during a torturously long sales meeting about 'character', he texts me inquiring what movie I wanted to see.
We agreed on one.
I told him that, for beginnings of penance, he'd have to buy whatever I wanted from the concession stand.
And then I reminded him that one needed to arrive on time to see the movie.

He actually texted me to let me know he would be at my house in 10 mins. (And believe it or not, he was almost on time)
I was a little overdressed for a movie - tight pencil skirt and 4 inch heels
That made it really hard to actually hoist myself into his Excursion gracefully.
We made it to the movie on time. (Shocking!)
Watched the movie.

He kept complimenting  me on how hot I looked.
I told him it's a shame he didn't catch the outfit I had on for him last Friday.
He apparently really liked the shoes.
And apparently, my legs looked really good too (according to him).

So during the movie, he started running his hand along my legs. (Good thing I shaved this am!)
I didn't want to get into a discussion in the movie, but I texted him that he was still up shit creek with me.
He texted back that he was really sorry and wanted to make it up to me.
(Not a smooch at the movie!)

I let him hold my hand on the walk back to his truck as I re-hoisted myself into the vehicle.
He dropped me off after the movie.
I asked again what went down last week - he didn't want to get into it.
Long hug - we both had to get back to work.

And he has some explaining to do before this confuses me further.

Back to work on Wednesday. I had "only" 961 emails. Fortunately, I had warned my customers that I wasn't going to check email, so that kept the volume down.

My boss hasn't said three words to me other than "What can I do to help you?" as I'm on my cell phone running out the door for an appt.

My boss' boss came over to my desk, sat down and had an actual conversation with me.

Feel overwhelmed and pressured. Not going to get stressed out though.

Saw the infectious disease doc for a follow-up yesterday. He said the MRSA (Staph infection) is still in the tissue of my body on my leg/bone. It would always be there. If I bumped my leg there, it could release it into my blood stream and get to my brain or lungs. This could happen 4 weeks from now or 20 years from now.

Great. Thanks doc.

I was really zonked yesterday - came home and was asleep by 6:00pm. Woke up feeling pretty good at 4:30am. It's 6am, already had breakfast, made my lunch, painted my toes/fingers, did some journaling and reading online.