When I work at the fish tank, I park on the street in some of the surrounding neighborhoods insteading of paying to park in the deck. It's only a block or two. Granted, there are two homeless shelters on the street, so you often see a lot of homeless people hanging out in the area. I try not to make eye contact because it usually is an invitation for them to start asking for money, cigarettes, to use my phone, etc.
Yesterday, I'm walking toward the tankon one of the side streets. I see on the hill on the opposite side of the road that there's a man slumped over. In a really odd position. A really unnatural position. As I keep approaching him, he's not moving. There's also a walker beside him. His legs are spread about 3 feet apart at the ankles and his entire body is flat on the ground forward. His face right into the dirt.
Another girl from the tank is sort of behind me - I point over to him and say - do you think he's ok? She stares for a second and agrees it doesn't look good. Can't see any respiration.
So we enter the employee entrance. Tell the first security guard. She doesn't seem to give a flip. So I go to the main security office. Report it again. They turn some of the external cameras to face that area - they can see him - said they agreed it didn't look good. So he was calling 911 and having them meet him there.
I went on to the breakroom to log in. The other girl was talking about him. Five or six people said they had seen him too. (They didn't even bother to do anything!) I was dumbfounded. I'm glad I wasn't laying there like that.
Later, security told me that the guy was, in fact, deceased. How utterly sad that must be to pass away and be so disregarded by others.
I'm livid. I've looked for a link to this online, but haven't been able to locate one...
Last month, at a school north of Atlanta, a female janitor at an elementary school, claimed she was raped before the school opened for the day. School officials closed the school for a couple of days afterward since they hadn't found the suspect.
Yesterday, the police held a press conference about the case.
The woman had finally confessed there was no rape. She had claimed it in order to get worker's compensation and wouldn't have to work anymore. She had claimed she had 'terminal cancer' to her church members a few years ago and they ended up supporting her for quite some time.
The local community is *really* pissed because her claims caused a lot of hysteria about the assailant on the loose.
I'm really pissed as someone that was raped. People like her make it harder for the rest of us. There should be a special place in hell for her. She pled to making a false police report and was given five years probation.
Her attorney claims she's mentally ill although she has never sought help. Now, I've never met her, nor am I medical professional, but it sounds like she's a lazy con-person. I don't think the public should have to pay to incarcerate her, but probation isn't enough. I think she should have to do some serious physical work (since she was trying to get out of work) and I think she should have to do some volunteer work related to some *real* rape victims. Otherwise, I seriously doubt she'll ever change. The next scam is just a matter of time for someone without a conscience.
I miss spinach. At the grocery store today, I noticed all the bagged 'salad blends' had stickers on them stating "NO SPINACH".
I'm hungry right now, but I'm not hungry. (Know that feeling?) If the light in my fridge worked, I'd be standing in front of it peering in, looking for something to eat. If only I had some raw spinach...
Got home to see a thick letter from "the mom". I'm SO not in the mood to read one of her dripping-with-guilt letters right now. Decided not to open it for the time being. It will be there tomorrow, the day after and the day after that. Maybe I'll just hold it until my next counseling appt on Monday. It's absolutely ridiculous that our relationship is reduced to such interaction. I'm supposed to call the referral for the family counseling on Monday. No guarantees "the mom" will actually participate and if she'll actually commit herself to the process (I have my doubts.) If she won't, I think I will have to sever ties with her entirely. For now, I'm not going to worry about that until we reach an impass with the counseling. It's my last hope.
I had a phone interview today with a software training company.
I know I'm not up to a regular 9-5 job right now but I need $ desperately. Being at the fish tank as a volunteer has been a way for me to see how much I can push myself for a 'real job'. I've been applying for jobs that are at the professional level that I've been at before but I know I can't be "ON" at the intensity expected for too long.
I thought I'd apply for some jobs with a larger company, get hired, push myself hard for a while to make some reserves and then crash.
However, the guy I spoke with today proves it is a really small world. It's a smaller company but it's right around the corner from my house. It's not a gig that, even if I was 100%, that I'd want for long-term. The prospective boss is tight with one of the head guys at the fish tank. And he also knows the guy I used to work for with the festival. I don't want to burn bridges with anyone at the fish tank and I'm not sure where festival guy and I stand. I also feel somewhat guilty about the expense of a smaller company hiring me when I know I won't stay.
He wants me to come in for an interview later this week. Not sure what I should do. I think I'm going to continue with the interview process at least to get back in the swing of things some. I've forgotten the art of bullshit and business lingo somewhat. I'm a believer in fate or I'll figure it out as I go along or they won't offer me the gig.
Tonight I'm talking on the phone to the dude I'm probably going to go out on a date with (eventually). I told him not to interrupt the Falcons game. We have a date for a phone date (which cracks me up). I'm zonked so I'm not at my most diva-licious.
I'm so tired I haven't been grocery shopping in ages. I have nothing in the house but brown rice and some unindentifiable frozen things. Guess it's rice for dinner tonight. Or cat food. But I don't think they will share. (Plus I think cat chow is high in carbs)
I had a bizarrely obscenely erotic dream last night. Well, obscene is pushing it a bit. Might have to do that I was au telephone with Hot Stud after popping some Ambien as I coasted off to lala-land last night.
This is the PG-13 version of a borderline XXX/NC17 dream:
Hot Stud emails me and tells me to go to a particular day spa at 10am. There is a reservation for me. So I go, rather excited about the whole spa thing since I haven't gotten an ounce of pampering since Rosie hadn't come out.
I show up at the spa, I'm whixked away, into warm thick cotton robe. A facial. Foot massage. Body scrub and finally - a brazilian (wink wink).
They give me an envelope from him instructing me that he is outside waiting for me, to dress in the clothes he has selected for me. (Nothing trashy - flowing floating skirt a little above the knee and a soft sweater that buttons down the front. No panties.
We drive to the mall right across the street. He tells me we're going shoe shopping. (At this point in my dream, I consciously think "YAY! A dream that includes Hot Stud AND shoe shopping!!! Yeee Haw!)
At the shoe section, we meander around looking at shoes. He picks out a pair of black books - with lacing up the back and a nice high heel. Asks for them in my size and when the shoeguy brings them, Hot Stud says that he'll manage this part or else he'll be bored.
Then Hot Stud whispers into my ear that he wants to see the results of my spa trip while fitting my boots.
I looked right into his eyes and smiled (thinking you naughty man!)
The rest of the dream is left to me, but suffice it to say... Meeeeeeeeee-ow! Remember, this was a dream. He was shocked to learn last night that I hadn't kissed another guy or been out with anyone since him. (So was I)
And I'd like to add that the boots in the dream were totally kick-ass. I was MEANT to have them.
Every time we start a shift at the fish tank, we have a meeting to begin with to give us updates about any changes with the exhibits (ie, the spider crabs are mating, that's why they are on top of each other like that) as well as any other blurbs about the day.
Yesterday we were advised about a group coming through. Now groups come thru the fish tank daily - primarily school groups and seniors from church groups. They can get pretty large - several hundred or more.
Turns out one of the groups coming through was, um, a transgender group. A really large group. We were told they would be using the 'appropriate' restroom, based on how they were dressed. There were some giggles and snickers and off we went to the animals.
It was unusually busy for a weekday morning, so I didn't really even give it a thought. I was working at an area where guests can touch things in touch pool, often looking down and juggling a lot of different people and questions. I hear a man ask a question. I look up to answer. He was dressed in women's clothing. VERY deep voice. Quite a contrast.
Later I was standing at another exhibit when I was surrounded by a large flux of people from two groups - both the transgender as well as the senior church ladies. As I'm talking, I'm watching the expressions of the church ladies staring at the 'other ladies'. Some figured it out. Others looked really confused.
When the crowd started to move on, a few of the church ladies stayed behind as we were talking more about the exhibit. Then one of the ladies said to me rather hushed,
"There are a lot of really unattractive tall women here today!"
She didn't have a clue and I had to bite my lip...
*The fish tank is always interesting people-watching. I watch them almost as much as I watch the animals. I've never been exposed to so many men in women's clothing (call it cross-dressing, transexuals, whatever...). If they wanted to be pretty, feminine, attractive - why the heck did almost all of them have one of three almost identical hairstyles - which were the absolute most unflattering possible choices for a masculine jawline possible???
I miss the crappy shopping spree you'd take after winning a puzzle on Wheel of Fortune to get that dumb ceramic Dalmatian.
I also miss when W.O.F. didn't 'give' the freebie letters on the final puzzle.
I miss having someone call me that gives me that warm tingle-y feeling.
Hot Stud called yesterday afternoon. Same conversation that we've been having for months. How he really wants to get together (blah blah blah). I just chuckle to myself at this poing. He gets business call. Says he'll call me back (50-50 on that actually happening). This time he did but I was on the phone with a friend that I hadn't talked to in a while so I let him go to voicemail. His message was the same as all before "I"m heading out of town on Wednesday but we really need to get together..." Yes, I know he has his own business and it keeps him SUPER busy. But I also know that he would make the time for me if he wanted to. (I am pretty sure he's making time for others...) I am just wondering how much longer this charade is going to go on. I don't think he's completely aware of it, but we've morphed into 'friends' status and there's no going back.
Driving home from the gym this evening, I got a call out of the blue from the 'rebound guy' from "N". We haven't spoken in...a year (or more?). Nice chat. Not quite sure what his intentions were - if it was just to catch up, to pass the boredom as he drove home from a football game from out of town, or a booty-esque call. (I doubt the latter).
I think "rebound guy" is an amazing guy. Smart, funny, sweet, attentive, thoughtful - lots of the characteristics that are important to me (and quite dreamy-looking). But he's amazingly devoted to his children too. Now this could be a bonus for some women, but doesn't really fit in for me.
*Now don't get me wrong, I don't find a guy that isn't devoted to his kids attractive. At all.
It's mostly a matter of lifestyle. Dealing with kids (and ex-spoues) complicates things. And it's not that I won't date a guy with kids (I have, I just can't really recall many of them offhand). Between his work commitments and time with his children, "rebound guy" had little more than zilch time for me.
But then again, I was licking my wounds from the email dumping by "N" and wasn't exactly in relationship-seeking mode. And "rebound guy" was going through a divorce too.
What is cool is that "rebound guy" and I were friends first. And after our convo tonight, it's clear that friendship is still there even if we don't talk every day. It was as if we had just spoken last week - there's a good rhythm to our conversations. He said I sound like I am doing really well, which was nice to hear considering the lowpoints I've had in the past couple of years. His ex has remarried and he's 'extremely casually dating a nurse'. (Not sure what that means.) He just doesn't see himself getting married again anytime soon. (Not that I am on husband hunt 2006 either.)
Anyhoo, he said he hasn't been to the fish tank yet and really wanted to go. One of his client sites is 'next door' to it. I told him that I'd be happy to give him (and his kids) a tour sometime if he gave me a day's notice. He said he might take me up on it.
Now don't get all excited. I'm NOT looking at rekindling - although 3 (or was it 4?) dates hardly qualifies as something on the kindling - anything with him. He's a very nice guy. Just not the guy for me. It's a nice reminder that I do pick quality guys from time-to-time. Thankfully, I also recognize what's right (or not right) for me.
If only I could cut/paste parts of some of the guys I've dated... (Now wouldn't that be interesting????)
Who/what would you take (and leave) from those you've dated?
A guy that has been emailing me via Myspace (mutual interest in diving) is interviewing at the Aquarium this afternoon to be a volunteer. He wanted me to meet him down there for a date afterwards.
(The Falcons are playing the Bucs this afternoon.)
I told him I already had plans but wished him luck with the interview. (If you have a pulse and don't seem scary, they'll move you along the process to the drug test and background check)
I think I'll just let the fish tank do the work for me. See if he passes the background check. This could be an interesting way for me to screen guys!!!
What a day yesterday! I usually do morning shift when I work at the fish tank (my new nickname for the Aquarium) because it is a lot quieter and I can spend time with guests answering questions in more detail than repeatedly just pointing to the Giant Pacific Octopus hiding under some rocks. (And people asking me incessantly why I can't make the octopus come out.)
I thought I'd try something new yesterday. There was a "special event after hours" that they needed people to man the various galleries and engage the guests. I went in for a shift beforehand to make sure I'd hit my 100 hour goal for the month (which I've now done).
Unfortunately, I was having a monumentally bad hair day. Since the traumatic hair-cutting more than a month ago, every day has been a bad hair day. (I didn't mention that I tried chemically straightening my hair afterwards which left my short hair the consistency of dried straw despite daily hot oil treatments, moisturizing masques on the hair, and various other deep-conditioning treatments)
So I'm sent out to the abyss of the outside Sea Lion exhibit. It was a lovely day and normally it would be great to be standing outside except the sea lions are noisy as hell. Barking. Incessantly.
And our local weatherman was doing the live weather reports from in front of the sea lions. Live. He was attended to by the fish tank's PR person. I've encountered this guy before in some other work capacities. Two words can sum him up - condescending and arrogant. (Can't you tell I think he's the cat's pajamas?) So I tell him a few facts about the sea lions that he can share on air. He totally gets them wrong in the first broadcast.
So he suggests to the fish tank PR person that he should interview me for the other feeds. Ugh. Now I'm trying to make a super-duper volunteer impression, so I can't say no. I don't have issues with the interview itself. I'm comfortable with appearing on-camera. Done it many times. But did I mention I was having a monumentally horrendous hair day? And that I really don't think much of this weatherdude?
PR person and weatherguy are happy to have the interaction with me. I play along. LOTS of downtime. Having to make idle chit-chat with him. Plus we had dribble of guests coming out to look at the Sea Lions. They'd ask what the camera equipment was for - I'd point to our weatherguy and they'd ooooh and ahhhh all over him. Then I'd share info about the Sea Lions.
I was tied up between 5 - 7:15 with the interviews. Word got around the floor that I had been on tv. There's this one girl that volunteers that always tries to 'one up' me. She's young. Has some sort of theatrical background. Has that sort of snobbish naivete about her. She heard about it and was utterly green. (Loved it! LOL) She wanted to know WHY they hadn't picked HER instead of me since I was new. blah blah blah. I'm so sure that an appearance on the Friday evening weather forecast would project her career to the next stratosphere (like local community theater? LOL)
The event was starting. I thought it'd be cool because there wouldn't be kids, so I could interact with adults that could appreciate the aquarium.
Wrong.
Two words.
Open Bar.
Although most were nice and extremely interested, there were some that kept making a lot of inappropriate comments, trying to reach into the tanks, etc. One early 60's-ish dude kept banging his class ring against the tank. I repeatedly asked him to stop. Normally we are told to NEVER touch a guest. I finally grabbed his hand and told him to stop or we'd have to escort him out. A lot of really bad versions of trophy wives. And some of the womens outfits were H-I-D-E-O-U-S.
The funniest was when I was talking to a group of 5 men about the sea otters. Then I realized that they didn't speak any english - they were German. I had been rattling off information that they 'seemed' to be engrossed in listening to - when I guess they were searching for any tidbits of words they could decipher. A woman came over a few minutes later and started translating. I felt like a dork.
That's enough rattling off by me for now. Have a good weekend.
Pooped. Got home around 7pm yesterday to felines yelling at me for not feeding them at 5pm. Fed them. Fed myself. Sat on couch. Stared at tv - remember falling asleep at the beginning of Survivor. Woke up at almost 8am to two felines sitting on my bladder, staring at me.
Kitty breath first thing in the a.m. is not pleasant.
Cute story yesterday from the Aquarium... Was at my favorite exhibit - the Southern Sea Otters. The handlers were giving them one of their 8 meals. There was a little boy sitting on the bench beside me. I asked him how old he was and he gave me 4 fingers. I told him Oz, our male sea otter, is ALSO four fingers. Little boy's eyes got huge.
I asked little boy if he knew what sea otters ate. He shrugged. I said "Chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers?" He laughed and said 'Noooo!'
I said "Oz and Gracie like to eat fish and shrimp. Do you like shrimp?" He nodded and said emphatically "I love SHRIMPS!" (plural)
The handler had lured Oz up to the window and put some shrimp right up at the window so little boy could see.
He tapped me on the arm and said "Oz can't eat the shrimps without cocktail sauce!"
Totally cute. Even for an ankle biter. (The kid although I guess sea otters are technically ankle biters too)
Yesterday, I was at the Aquarium (shocker, I know). It was an oddly slow day. I spent a good portion of the afternoon in front of the Beluga Whale window.
Scenario: when you walk into that section of the gallery, it's decorated almost like a cave. There's a faint blue glow emanating from the tank (20x18ft) itself with some really ethereal music playing in the background. The combination of the lighting, the music and the white Belugas almost floating thru the water is mesmerizing.
Not to mention the lighting is rather flattering (everyone looks good in dimmer light, right?)
So there are between 6-18 people standing there staring up at the whales. I meander thru them, making comments, answering questions and "engaging" the guests. (Big theme with the Aquarium). My favorite opener is "Mesmerizing, aren't they?"
I'm talking to one couple when a woman says "Ma'am, what is that one doing?"
I turn. The voice. It's REALLY familiar.
Remember how I had mentioned a month ago that I heard one of my old radio buddies on-air doing traffic reports, I called her and she said she'd give me a call?
Well, it was her.
I said "Maggie?" (Not her real name) She shrieked "ScubaDiva!" (not my real name either)
We talked for a while. She was with a guy who was not her really hot husband that I adored. (Then again, it's been 10+ years). I thought they had the ideal marriage but I guess it wasn't that ideal. She's gained about 75lbs and I've lost more than that - rather ironic that our appearances have changed so much. On the otherhand, she's still hitting concerts left and right (wanted to know if I was going to the Flaming Lips tonight - I laughed and said I hadn't gone to a concert in years.) She got my number again, said she wanted to volunteer here, and promised to give me a call... So we'll see. Seems to me that fate is bringing us together.
Not five minutes later, I continue making my rounds. There's a guy standing dead center in the window, nose almost to the glass (ok, 6 inch thick acrillc). I walk over to him, both staring at the whales. He's got a white do-rag on, some oversized sports jersey and heaps of bling. I say my opening line.... (come on' say it with me)
"Mesmerizing, isn't it?"
He grunts. I point out a few other facts about the whales. He grunts some more. He's got a vibe that he's 'someone' but I wasn't impressed. He was short so I figured he was a rapper. I went on my merry way to other guests.
Turns out it was Michael Vick. (Star QB for the Falcons)
I had been tempted to tell him the penguins like shiny objects and they'd really dig him. They have a lot in common - short and like shiny objects.
There is someone I consider a friend that continually makes statements that really bother me. It makes me wonder if he is ever actually listening to me.
Backstory: back in December I met "Hot Stud". Amazing guy. Looks something off the cover of a romance novel. Longish hair, intense eyes, amazing body. Haven't dated anyone so far off the Hunk-o-Meter in eons. But, it wasn't his hair or his body or his looks that attracted me to him. He's intelligent, driven, funny and sweet - and those things I found attractive and sexy about him.
Unfortunately, due to "Hot Stud's" work schedule (and I'm guessing other females), our dates have been maybe once a month. And they've been non-existent since early May. He still calls regularly and expresses interest in getting together, but nothing ever develops. He feigns its work, but I think we all know he's not THAT busy.
"Hot Stud" is a great guy but he's also not the type to settle down with one girl. He said he was open to it - but apparently if he is, it's not me. So I've sort of resigned myself to "Hot Stud RIP". That's life. He was amazing for my somewhat deflated ego and made me laugh. No point in dwelling in someone that doesn't want the same things I do.
Now back to this friend of the male persuasion. He keeps saying that I need to quit focusing on Hot Studs and give short fat guys a chance. I repeatedly have explained to him that someone's exterior has very very little to do with my attraction to a guy. I am not superficial like that and have never been that way. Friends that have seen pictures of guys I've dated in the past have commented that many of them were not particularly attractive at all - and, I guess, from first impressions they may not have been, but I look deeper than that. I've never been someone that's been swept away by first glances, it's like a slow burn, getting to know someone - and often it isn't even the words out of their mouth, it's the actions. I pay close attention to the little things.
I realize that I'm no supermodel and I don't want someone to judge me and be attracted to me by my exterior. If they were, I wouldn't want them to be in my life. They better value my intelligence, humor, passion, loyalty and ability to accessorize. (kidding).
So anyway, it's been on my mind since that conversation last night. Someone's physical appearance isn't even on my top 10 list of things important to me in a partner. Maybe when I was 15, but I'm not 15 anymore. I realize what is really important.
It's beginning to be that time of year when mornings are crisp and breaking out some fall clothes is looming.
I went into one of my closets to look for my brown jeans. I felt like wearing them. They fell off me. I couldn't believe how big they were.
Now you'd think, that's a good thing, right?
So I started digging around my fall/winter clothes, looking for pants/skirts are wearable. Let's just say pickin's are slim. Four or five years ago when I lost a lot of weight, I packed up boxes and boxes of clothes to give away and donate. I held on to a closet of them that were more expensive ones that could go to consignment. (They are still in the closet - the mom had said she'd handle it because she's dealt with consignment stores a lot)
I've gone thru two closets and have two more to go. I have practically nothing to wear that isn't falling off me. My entire life, I've always had TONS of clothes so it's really strange for me to look at these empty closets. Good thing my wardrobe needs revolve around workout wear and my 'aquarium outfits'. (And those pants/skirts are too big.)
Super-duper uber tired. I got to work with the Beluga Whales today for the first time. It was cool.
The Belugas would blow a single air bubble out of their blowhole and then catch it in their mouth for entertainment. It was cute. They were mesmerizing to watch. They really seem to interact with children at the window.
One of the gallery captains is being EXTREMELY friendly with me. He's nice - reminds me of a younger Sean Connery but still a young Sean Connery is a little too old for me, despite the accent. It's getting borderline uncomfortable but I don't want to raise attention in that way to myself. He's employed by the Aquarium - for over a year so he has seniority, blah blah blah... I don't feel intimidated or threatened - I am friendly and sometimes it can be misconstrued. But I *hope* to be employed with the Aquarium sooner rather than later and don't want a stink associated with me. I think I'm going to casually mention that my 'boyfriend' is envious of all the time I'm spending here to try to discourage him.
I've written about my quest for some khaki skirts to wear while working at the aquarium. I hit Parisian's (sort of like a Macy's) the other day after a shift to see if they had any skirts. Found a couple to try on. I was wearing my Aquarium vest (instead of the regular shirt that would go with the skirt) so I grabbed a tshirt to wear with the skirts I was trying on.
First skirt, too short. Second skirt, too big.
Getting my pants back on, I bend over to adjust the bandaids on my toes (blisters) and stand up to whack the hell out of my head. There was a wood 'shelf' right there to sit your purse on. I was dizzy I hit it so hard. Put my vest back on and shoes on and wobbled out of there.
Came home, took off my pants, vest and realized that I still had the tshirt on! I'm a accidental shoplifter! (Shirt value was 80% off of $15.00 so it wasn't a major theft) Ironically, I had a rather 'stimulating' dream about being arrested by Officer Hot Stud - kinda makes me want to get frisked. (And don't bother asking about it because I AIN'T telling!)
Off to the aquarium. I have a feeling I'm going to be asked a lot of questions about sting rays today...
Okay, there aren't beaver shots in this posting, but how about an otter shot? LOL
First time I volunteered at the Aquarium on a weekend. Remind me not to do that again. Not to mention they were short-staffed.
However, one of the first things I do when I arrive is visit the Sea Otters, Gracie and Oz. They will often come up to the window, stand on their hind legs and scratch the acrylic - they want FOOD! Yesterday, Oz dragged one of his toys to the window to me. It was so sweet! I got a picture of it - unfortunately, Oz just looks like a dark blob.
Then I spent way too much time with the Sea Lions. Have to stand outside. Not an environment to interact with them very much. They operate in two speeds - either swimming laps or sleeping. The kids kept barking at them, trying to get the sea lions stirred up - it worked occasionally, those critters are noisy. I'm not sure which was worse - the incessant barking of the kids or the sea lions. I took this picture of the bull and one of his sidekicks sunning on the rocks. I think he needs a beer Photoshopped by one of his flippers.
I slept 12 hours when I got home. I *should* be cleaning my house today and I'm outta food too, but I'm hoping for a leprechaun to come by and magically take care of everything. Or maybe someone will send some Pixie Dust?
Have a Happy Labor Day although it should be "Anti-Labor Day".
