The gym has begun offering a cardio salsa class. Thought it would be a fun class to take, so I zoomed over there yesterday. About 15 women, primarily in their 50's with a few younger girls.
The instructor walked in. She was dressed like she was Selena appearing in concert. Was rather amusing because, well, resembled a very VERY bottom-heavy JLo. (Mucho Junk in the Trunk) Sequins. Super-flared pants with color insets. I give her kudos for being colorful. Yeah, colorful.
Class starts. Now for those of you not familiar with cardio salsa, it's sort of aerobics with a latin flair. Samba, Merengue, Cha-cha. All of these dances are smooth, rhythmic - you don't do a lot of bouncing - most movement comes from the hips and arms.
I was in the back (big mistake) because I was constantly distracted by my fellow classmates. Two ladies beside me could not get any of the steps correct - but kudos to them for keeping up. One lady was wearing a pair of pale pink cotton bike shorts with a pair of bright floral underwear. (Got the visual?)
But, the most amusing one was this youngish woman. Early 20's. She just didn't get it. I think she thought she was in a Riverdance course. She was bouncing all over the place. Not using her arms at all. Or moving her hips. Watching her hop all over the place, doing her 'interpretative' movements was comical. The two rhythmically-challenged ladies and I were laughing at times. Kept making me lose focus.
Not only did I get a fun workout but I also laughed hard too.
Yesterday I started my gallery training at the Georgia Aquarium. There are 5 different galleries, so we go thru 3-4 hour training in each one. Started off with the "Cold Water Quest". Small class of 8 and most had been with the Aquarium for several months and were re-taking it as a refresher.
The class began in the classroom where we went over some basics about the exhibit. Then we went thru each station, going over the specifics and asking questions. TONS of information to absorb.
What was the coolest was that this happened while the Aquarium was closed. We had the floor all to ourselves. I don't know if I'll ever want to go back during regular hours. It was so peaceful and the animals were often really curious to watch back.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /belugas11.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /belugas11.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al..."> Finally, we came upon the reason why I took the Cold Water Quest training first. The Belugas. One of the most popular exhibits at the Aquarium. They are so much fun to watch. They interact with you - watching you thru the glass. Apparently they are VERY territorial, one of the guys in the class is a diver with the aquarium. He said that they are not allowed to make eye contact with the Belugas and after about an hour of cleaning in the tank, they start getting very nervous and start acting more aggressive, 'buzzing' the divers. (At which point they are told to get down on the floor of the tank, face down.) We finished off the training at the top of the tank - watching them from above. Was really cool to see - I realized that they don't have a dorsal fin - like a dolphin or a shark - because they do so much of their diving in icy waters, a dorsal fin might get in the way of the ice. You don't really realize it when you're watching them underwater - but it's really odd looking from above.
Still, after training, I hung out watching the Belugas by myself for about 20 minutes. So peaceful. I'm going to purposely take my gallery training classes when the Aquarium is closed so I can roam.
Ok. Here's the scandalous story of me and the 3some in the sauna over the weekend...
I'm on the elliptical. Watching "Raging Bull" on DVD. A woman, late-30's, gets on the ellip next to me and starts talking. I've got headphones on and sort of nod to her. She keeps talking. I ignore her for a while, pretending I can't hear her. I finally point to the DVD case and say that I'm engrossed in the movie.
After a few more mins, she gets off the elliptical. I notice she's on a recumbant bike. I finish up my time on the ellip and get my gymbag to head to the locker room.
She follows me in a rather obvious way.
I go to my locker, take off my shoes, put on flip flops, grab a towel and my book to head to the sauna. She's talking to me, asking me how long I was on the ellip and what the movie was about. (Does anyone not know what Raging Bull is about? And the case makes it pretty clear.)
I just get bad vibes from this chick. So I'm deliberately being aloof. And cranking it up from there.
I go to the sauna. Sit down with the book. One of the women I've talked to before is in there. We're chatting - telling her about this woman that was creeping me out on the elliptical. In comes the ellip-stalker-lady. The sauna has two benches - each about 6 feet long, with a 2nd tier of benches above it. Normal sauna etiquette has the 3rd+ people sitting on the upper benches.
Nope. Ellip-stalker-lady sits RIGHT next to me. As in about an inch away. Trying to jump into the conversation with me - totally ignoring the other woman. I make eye contact with the other woman and gesture with my eyes that this is her. Her response is to say that she's hot enough and is going to hit the shower -leaving me alone with ellip-stalker-lady. (Thanks!)
Now, it would make sense that the person would move over. But she doesn't. So I do. I move over to the other side and sit with my legs stretched out so she couldn't sit right next to me. I bury my nose in the book.
She keeps talking. I say "I really hate to be rude, but I like my time here to be spent quiet and reading."
She says "Well, we should go get a drink after this."
I reply "No thanks." (I should have said I have to go home to my husband or something)
Then the lights go out. It was a warning that the gym was closing. Usually, they just flash them. But noooo, this time, they were out for a good 20 seconds. This woman brushes her hand against my leg.
I jump up and leave the sauna in the dark. Hit the shower. I don't hear her following me. Towel off quickly and haul tail to my locker to get dressed and get out of there.
Getting dressed at my locker, she's there again. Says again that she'd really like to grab a drink with me tonight. Touches me on the shoulder.
I don't even bother looking at her. I say "I am not interested. Period." I grab my stuff and haul butt out of there.
Got my hair cut. It's a lot shorter than I asked for and agreed to. Stylist and I discussed it and she clarified before taking critical chops initially. Then she had me bend my chin to my chest while she was 'just layering' the back. (Which means taking off 3+ inches more in the back than we had agreed to.)
The owner asked me if I was happy. I told her not at all but I would have to make it work because they can't glue my hair back on. She said if I wasn't happy tomorrow, to call her and she'd refund my money.
Haven't tried to style it yet. (Why bother when I'm just going to the gym?)
I'm just wondering. Is there a conspiracy of hairstylists against me? I brought a picture, was quite clear that I wanted my hair to be more than an inch beyond touching my shoulders, came with my hair in its natural curly state so that she could see how much it varies when dry... Once again, my hair (dry) is just under my ears. (And no my ears don't hang right above my shoulders)
Good thing I don't freak out about this sort of stuff.
Considering I haven't had sex in so long that even my vibrator is considering leaving me, this was news to me.
Yesterday, I had a counseling appointment. Normal procedure is you wait at the check-in desk for 5 minutes until the women acknowledge you. Then they take your appointment slip. You sit down and wait another 20 minutes, they call your name, you get some paperwork and go to your counselor's room. (Not sure why it takes so damn long but that's bureaucracy for you)
Like usual, I wait to be acknowledged to turn in my appt slip. There's about 8 people sitting in chairs waiting. Quite a motley group of people. Finally, the bureaucrat takes my slip and I start to turn around to find a seat, when...
I hear "Why are you checking in that slut while I've been waiting?"
I turn around to see she outweighs me by about 250 lbs. wearing a floral mumu that could have covered my sofa and then some. I decide that I'm going to ignore it. Clearly, she outweighs me in the 'few cards short of a deck' factor more than I do, mental healthwise.
The only seating available was a row of chairs where this woman was sitting. I chose the seat furthest away from her, with two seats inbetween us. I open my book and start reading a book that I'm really enjoying (Gatsby's Girl).
When floral mumu woman is talking to the tv. VERY LOUD. "You're a screwed up slut star! You're a screwed up slut star!" (It was the Cosby Show. None of the cast struck me particularly as slutty, but whatever.) I hope the woman at the desk will stop blabbering with the other woman as she eats chicken wings and check some people in so I can get the hell away from the crazy mumu lady...
Five minutes later, she starts hollering. At me. "I'm not a slut. I'm NOT a slut! I'm a good girl. I don't do those things. You're a slut! You're a slut! And I'm not into girls. I'm not gay! I'm not gay!"
I debated acknowledging her. I considered even saying "No hablas englaise" but I had a brief chatty convo with the front desk ladies earlier, trying to suck up to get them moving faster. I made eye contact with one of the front desk ladies. (Apparently they have a policy like the zoo where they aren't to ruffle the patients.) She winked and called my name and had my paperwork ready so I could get the hell out of there. Attached to it was a post-it note saying "That lady has an issue with attractive younger women, don't encourage her."
What the hell did that mean? Anyway, I got the hell out of the waiting room to go into my counseling session. (I dare say that I like her more than my old therapist!) When our session was done, crazy mumu lady was still in the same place. While I was turning in my paperwork, she started with the "slut talk" again. I was out the door faster than she'd swallow a Krispy Kreme.
Perhaps I shouldn't be posting this because I might be giving terrorists ideas, but it came to me while watching the unending news reports of all the contraband (like lipgloss) that you can't take on planes.
What about water-bras? You could fill up the water bra with gel explosive. Granted, it'd have to be a woman. And no terrorist arrested (that I'm aware of) has been female here in the states or any of the recent attacks. (Yes, women have been used to explode bombs in Iraq and Israel.) So let us have our lipgloss and hand lotion dammit.
I imagine a lot of you guys would love to volunteer for the TSA to 'check' bras for any liquid or gel!
Broke my little toe this morning. It's black and hurts like a MF'er. Fortunately, my shoe wardrobe consists of tennis shoes and flip-flops because I can't wear anything else. I keep reminding myself that at age 11, I danced five performances of the Nutcracker on pointe with a smashed little toe, so I should quit bitching.
Had my first session with my new therapist and I *really* like her. She hadn't gotten my file from my previous therapist, so it was primarily telling her about my background. Asked me what issues I wanted to work on. Told her that my mother is a MAJOR source of distress and disruption in my life, but since we're going to start 'family counseling' in the fall, that I think it should be a secondary issue for the time-being. Told her about the rape, how the police and DA's office haven't done squat, the betrayal by Bryon and my friend Jen, the depression and sucide plans, etc. That I need to work on trusting myself, my judgment, and others. She said something that my old therapist said frequently - that I'm incredibly resilient.
Then I hobbled back to my car and went to the gym. Did circuit training and realized there was no way I could do the elliptical without being drugged. (Of course, looking at my black swollen toe makes it hurt more!) So I did an hour on the recumbant bike. I've always thought that if you can read a newspaper while 'exercising' that it doesn't qualify as exercise. I was right. I was bored as hell. I did 13 miles with 50% resistance. Heartbeat never got above 115.
About 5 years ago, I lost a good chunk of weight. My boobs were huge and didn't budge despite the weightloss. DD+ (I refused to go larger than that bra-size-wise). So I had a breast reduction. After the surgery, I was a small C, full B. I've lost 25lbs since May and my body fat % has gone down 8%. And my boobs are getting smaller. I have too much room in my sports bra cups now. Need to send a memo to my body to remove fat from my thighs and leave my boobs the hell alone.
Oh happy day. Cynthia McKinney's been booted out of Congress again. Cannot tell you how f'ing giddy I am with that. Her concession speech was a train-wreck. Local TV carried it live - she stood on the podium for more than 15 mins waiting for someone to cue up Pink's song "Mr. President" and then she proceeded to sing along. And she's claiming that there was electronic voting machine fraud and that's why she lost (with 41% of the votes). Rather ironic that she had issues with the voting machines any time the election results didn't favor her, but no problems when she won the election in 2004...
Gym last night. Guy ends up getting on the elliptical next to me. Didn't have to choose one by anyone as most were free. Didn't really give it much thought as I was engrossed in channel-flipping between watching Bravo's "Workout" and local channels for the election results. Every time a woman would walk into the cardio area, his head was turned. He almost fell off the ellip a few times and I imagine he has whiplash from the glances. I found it sort of amusing. I guess he was looking for someone. But what was distracting was that he kept having 'issues' down there. Kept 'adjusting' himself or something. Quite frequently. He was actually sorta cute but the whole whiplash and crotch issues sort of dissuaded me from striking up a convo.
I went to the gym late yesterday - around 7ish. Hopped on my elliptical and started ellipping away. The cardio area of the gym is like a long hallway with one side featuring 12 treadmills and the other with ellipticals. At one end is a wall of mirrors and mats for people to do stretching.
Workouts seem to go SO much easier when there's something interesting on tv to distract me. However, the dude that ended up next to me was so much of a distraction that I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud and falling off the elliptical.
The dude is his late-40's. First thing that came to mind was "Malibu Ken" with an attitude. (And he was wearing those dreadful running shorts.) He had this really odd gait on the machine that reminded me of a prancing pony. To make it worse, his arms were bent at the elbow and his wrists were dangling limply so that they were flopping with every step. I cannot tell you how ridiculous this guy looked.
I was watching Hildago (a movie I love and a real tear-jerker). And even though it was some really sad scenes, I'd catch the Prancing Pony out of the corner of my eye and laugh out loud occasionally.
Gym yesterday. Two people I saw totally cracked me up:
Subject A: Female wearing shorts and a white sport bra. You know there are sport bras that can double as a top and offer adequate support. This was not one of them. As I see the woman approaching, rolls of fat hanging over her shorts. And the boobs - sagging. And as she gets closer, you can see her nips - quite clearly - through the bra. It was way too sheer. And that was before she started working up a sweat. She was a couple of ellipticals down from me, and I thought she was going to end up with black eyes from all the bouncing. It wasn't pretty.
Subject B: You know those guys that look like bean poles? Really really skinny? Wasn't extremely tall, but if he turned sideways, he'd disappear, except his calves. They looked like two huge tumors on his legs. Freakishly large. And he, surprisingly, he was working on his calves on one of the circuit machines.
Then, more gross-out in the sauna. A woman had been in there when I got in, left a huge sweat spot on the wood. (It happens) Another woman comes in and sits right on that spot. Nekkid. There was plenty of other space to sit in a non-wet with sweat area. After a couple of mins, she gets up and starts drying off - and bends over to dry her feet/legs - with her arse facing me - let's just say that it was something I'd expect of a porn star - although she was not exactly porn-star material. It was most unpleasant. And it's burnt into my mind. So I thought I'd torture you as well.
Went back to the gym yesterday for the first time in a week since I've been sick. I'm still coughing and snot-filled, but I felt like I needed to get back on the elliptical. After suffering through my 2hour and 15 mins on the elliptical (yep, my daily routine), I hit the sauna. No traumatic experiences there.
Showered, changed clothes and headed toward the exit. However, I got a kind of pleasant surprise.
The mens and womens locker rooms are at opposite ends of a long hallway. At the center is the stairway to the main level.
As I am walking toward the stairway, I notice a relatively cute guy walking toward the stairs at the same time. He actually made it there before me, but paused nonchalantly let me go up first. I glanced back, he was checking my posterior out. My eyes caught his and he blushed. I smiled.
And I NEVER assume a guy is checking me out.
Made me smile. I've worked my tail off in the past 3 months to drop 25 lbs and have noticed some 'improvements' in my curves.
Even if he wasn't really scoping me out and it was a Nyquil-induced hallucination, I'm going to enjoy it.
A couple of days ago, not far from where I live, karma proved it is alive and well.
Three or four teens broke into an apartment that was occupied by a man and his 8 year old son. The man woke up with a gun pointed in his face. Unfortunately for these cretins, they picked the wrong apartment. The man with a gun pointed at him was a police officer. That slept with his gun under his pillow.
The teen holding the gun? Dead. His friends. Split.
Now people are saying that the police officer didn't have to shoot him. He was a 'good kid'. And some are saying that the dead kid told the officer that his gun was unloaded. (The only way they'd be able to truthfully say that is if they had spoken to some of the other intruders which they haven't turned into the police.) The parents of the dead teen are saying the police officer should apologize for killing their son.
Let me get this right. The kid who broke into the apartment of a man and his child, held a gun to his head is good. Whereas the man who was sleeping peacefully and acted to protect his home and his child acted irresponsibly?
The parents should be apologizing for the cretin they raised. I think the only thing wrong with the situation is that the other intruders are still alive. He should have gotten them all.
Diamonds are no longer a girl's best friend, according to a new U.S. study that found three of four women would prefer a new plasma TV to a diamond necklace.
Then 3 out of 4 women are stupid. TV's break and depreciate. Diamonds don't.
