Summer colds suck. Especially when it's 96 degrees. Fortunately, it's much cooler inside upstairs - 94. Too hot to make homemade chicken soup.
I wonder if there is a World Record for Projectile Sneezing?
Our county is under a 'boil water advisory' for the third day in a row. Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass that is? For brushing teeth, washing dishes, rinsing food, for the cats, and flushing the toilet? (Ok, I'm kidding about the last one...) I sent a ranting email to the CEO of the county because they've done an abysmal job keeping the county informed. He's showing up for a PR appearance next month around the corner. I'm going to go by and give him the receipts for all my bottled water.
Nothing's on tv. I can't talk. Too hot to do anything. I'm cranky. I wish I had some popsicles.
This morning. Gym bag packed. Sports bra on. About to head out the door when I notice Lulu sitting by the back door.
Something's up.
I walk over to scope things out (like Alvin hiding). Instead, I see ants. ALL over the place. So I put down the gym bag and start following the trail. It ends up going UNDER my carpet.
Shit.
So I go under my kitchen cabinet looking for ant spray. I have an appearance of ants usually once or twice a summer. I know that this is retaliation because earlier this morning I was (illegally) watering my tomato plants and I came upon an ant mound. I decimated it with water. Repeatedly.
Anyway, I couldn't find the ant spray. I almost used oven cleaner - the cans looked similar. Looked all over for the ant spray. Finally found it. Sprayed the little fuckers. Swept them up. Then had to clean the floor to get the poison off.
Total elapsed time: 3 hours. Hot and sweaty. Still finding a couple of stragglers.
The irony is that when I was having dinner with a friend last night, I made a comment about not having a problem with ants this year.
Coincidence? I think not.
So I'm going to go to the gym this evening. Last time I was there on a Friday night, the kids set the gym on fire...
Yesterday, I went to go do my drug-screening for the aquarium in an area that is rather over-run by homeless people, drug dealers, and prostitutes. Who would have known it would be such an ordeal. I mean, you show ID, you pee in a cup, and you're done, right?
I printed out the email I got from the aquarium that gave directions, hours of the facility, etc. Head over there. Turns out the facility needed an ID #. The email didn't mention that. They call the point of contact at the aquarium. Voicemail. I wait. And wait. And wait. Not a single magazine to read in english except a Ladies Home Journal with Tom Cruise on the cover talking about how he was 'thrilled' with his invisible baby. I refused to even lay hands on it.
Finally, the aquarium calls back and says I'm legit. (Like an email from the contact at the aquarium addressed to me telling me to go there for a test wasn't a clue?)
I'm frisked to make sure I don't have any substances on me to interfere with the test. I'm given a huge cup to fill.
But I fell short. Couldn't make it to the mark. I drink over 100oz of water every day. I pee like a race horse. (Southern term). But I had just worked out and I guess I was a little bit dehydrated. Or maybe it was performance anxiety. The woman poured it out. I felt crushed.
I had to bolt b/c of a counseling appt. I chugged a bottle of water. Came back an hour later. As I was pulling in the parking lot, I had to wait because there was a man soliciting a woman for some money. (She gave him some). I pull into a spot. He's waiting for me. He starts following me saying "Ma'am." Louder and louder. I say "No thank you." He keeps following me and actually puts his hand on my shoulder.
Bad move.
(I was grabbed by an (assumingly) homeless person at my car and almost dragged into the woods when I was 22. I haven't forgotten it.)
I moved to get this cretin's hand off me and told him to get the fuck away from me. At which point he started calling me a variety of non-flattering comments. If my pepper spray had been in my purse instead of in the console of my car, I would have used it. I get into the building. I tell the woman at the drug screening place what happened. She took me to the office of the building mgmt. Gave her a description of the guy - he was carrying an orange backpack, so he should be somewhat easy to identify. She said she was going to call the police, that she had been accosted by someone for money when she was leaving last night too.
Anyway, I go back and pee successfully. No sign of the dude when I went back to my car. Was half-expecting to see the dude had vandalized my car. But he didn't. No sign of him around when I was done.
We'll have to wait and see if the pot I tried to smoke (but couldn't inhale) when I was 18 is still in my system...
Let me begin by saying, I swear I can't make this stuff up. And I'd like to point out in advance that I was minding my own business...
(I know what you're thinking.. "Uh oh. What happened with Scuba Diva THIS time...?")
I'm at the gym (of course). Done with my cardio. Head to the locker room to sweat some in the sauna. Book, big bottle of semi-frozen water in tow. I'm in the sauna alone for 55 mins. Peaceful, reading my book. Then a woman comes in (thankfully in a swimsuit), lays out a towel and lays down. No problemo - nice when people respect the serenity of the moment and not yap away despite my nose being buried in a book.
When my hour is up, I gather my stuff and exit the sauna. Put stuff down on bench and take off my soaking-wet shirt. (Guys, I have a sports bra on, so get your mind out of the gutter). They have this really cool gizmo there where you can put wet clothing in this box and it's like a salad spinner that whirls most of the water out of the clothing. I put my shirt in the gizmo and the woman from the sauna comes running out directly to me. She asks me what the gizmo is and I explain pretty much what I said above. She asks me if she can touch the shirt when it comes out. (I tell her she wouldn't want to do it because it's soaked with my sweat.) I point out the water coming out of the bottom of the machine and hope that satiates her.
I take my shirt out, hang it on the hook and get my towel and stuff for the long cold showe r (that I desperately need because I'm feeling sorta light-headed). The woman from the sauna starts following me, asking me if I was sitting in there to lose weight.
(Well, I wasn't sitting in there for my health, was I? LOL)
She tells me that she has this great book that I should read on weight loss. She has it in her locker and she'll go get it.
I tell her that I appreciate it, but I'm quite content with what I'm doing right now. (Her response was like I had told her I like to kill puppies.) I continue on to the shower.
Little did I realize that this meant I was a captive audience... She kept telling me that this book would tell me how to eat healthy and use special foods and supplements to speed up my weight loss. (I'll point out that this woman is not exactly the picture of super-slimdom. She's maybe 10lbs lighter than me.)
I figure that if I just shower and not say anything, she'll go away.
I was wrong. This woman pokes her head into my shower! I grab it and pull it shut. I tell her again that I am extremely content with my diet and weight loss and wouldn't want to speed it up any further. I pause and then say "and I would appreciate it if you would let me enjoy my shower and leave me alone."
I hear her walk away. I'm livid. How f'ing rude. At that point, I've got the perfect nickname for the woman - Granola Nazi. She has that sort of natural granola-y look about her (with a really unflattering bathing suit to 'compliment' her extremely pear-shaped figure to boot.). I finish my shower. Dry off. Wrapped in a towel, I spin dry my sports bra and pants. Go to my locker to get dressed.
Standing on a towel, drying off, Granola Nazi comes back for a third attempt. Book in hand. She's telling me how this book will help me lose weight and make me happy.
I have had it. Seething as I stand there trying to get dressed, I tell her "I was happy until you started bothering me. I'm not interested, got it?" And I turn my back to her.
She just stands there.
I slip on my shorts under my towel, put on my bra.
She's still there.
I put on my t-shirt. Packing my gym bag.
She's still there.
I sit down on the bench to put my shoes on.
She still there.
The thing is, I have to go past her to leave the locker room. She's blocking the way.
So I get creative...
There's a glass door between the shower/sauna area and the lockers. I say "there goes a really fat lady back there - why don't you go harrass her instead?"
She turns to look. I hop past and exit.
I now realize that if I am ever asked again if I am doing anything at the gym to lose weight, I'm going to say no, that the voices in my head tell me to.
Gym yesterday morning. Not too many folks doing circuit-training. About 1/2 way thru my workout, I notice this woman is singing along to the music she's listening to. Seriously off-key. And getting louder. You know the type who thinks they are a good singer but apparently no one has had the heart to tell them they sound like a cat in heat stuck in a garbage disposal?
A few people would catch my eye and sort of raise their eyebrows to say "WTF?". I turned up my MP3 player a little more to drown her out.
Then, she stops singing.
I enjoy the peace and quiet for about 30 seconds when she starts moaning. Now I've often heard guys groan and moan when lifting weights, but this was beyond that. If I was a guy, I'd be sporting wood. She was moaning on and on. Getting louder and louder as she did sets. I noticed a few of the guys actually left the area. Coincidence?
Then my MP3 battery ran out.
And I was stuck listening to her go between singing off-key and moaning. I was seriously thinking about making a comment to her about enjoying the quietness of working out here... But she was (FINALLY) done.
Was it wrong that I was visualizing a gag in her mouth?
Got a cut-off notice that my water was being shut off for non-payment. Amount of bill? $15.59 for the last 3 months. Odd because I was sure I had paid the bill.
So I go online and check my online bill-pay thru my bank. Yep. Was paid last month. So I called the county water office. Apparently if you have an IQ above 70, you're overqualified for this position. The woman insisted that I hadn't paid it. I'm explaining to her that it was paid electronically and giving her all the info.
Not good enough. I told her I could email her the confirmation. Nope. I asked if I could fax it to her. Nope. Apparently I'd go to all that trouble to create a dummy bank draft for $15.59. I asked if we could conference in my bank. Nope.
I asked her what I was supposed to do since they sent me a notice (postmarked/dated yesterday) that my water is being shut off Saturday when I'd already paid it.
She told me to bring in a cancelled check from my bank. *Do any banks still send cancelled checks?
I reiterated to this shining example of government efficiency that the payment was done online, so there was no cancelled check, only electronic verification including time/date of transfer and I could show that.
She puts me on hold (but hangs up on me). I call back. Get Einstein again. Says she is going to put me on hold again - I tell her not to put me on hold again. Meanwhile I hear her long fake acrylic nails tapping away at the computer (ladies, you know how we can tell the difference in the sound. I'm guessing from the slug-like speed of her typing sounds that they were those long claw-like shaped ones with airbrushing and charms and 'diamonds' on them.)
6 minutes 49 seconds later she says "we have your payment." and she hangs up again.
I call back again. Get her once more. I thank her so much for her assistance and courtesy in verifying this matter. I asked for her name for my records. She said she couldn't give out that information. I asked if there was Customer Service number or some sort of verification number I could have for my records so that I would have a record of the conversation. She said no.
So to piss her off, I said, "well, I guess it's a good thing I started recording the conversation after the first time we were disconnected."
(You shoulda heard the "oh shit" tone in her voice.) Then I hung up on her.
No, I didn't really record it but... I thought it'd make her think twice next time. At least I can describe her by her typing and nails in case my water still gets shut off over the weekend.
Wrote a long posting but erased it. (No, tblog didn't eat it.)
Long day. 4+ hour wait at the neurologist WITH my mother. I took some preventative Klonopin but it wasn't enough and didn't last long enough. She talked the entire 4 hours. I would put my head in my hands and try to doze off and she keep talking away. I felt trapped.
Appt with the neurologist - well, let's just sum it up to say that I'm fed up with doctors in 'the system.' They just want to pass me along from doctor to doctor, specialist to specialist because I'm not an open and shut case. They didn't even bother to find the films of the tests I had 3 months ago. Totally patronized me.
I have a counseling appt tomorrow. And I see my PCP in less than 2 weeks. I am probably going to go ahead and completely lose it in the appts. Maybe that will get someone's attention to actually do some tests to diagnose me.
Done venting.
On the positive side, I had some delicious home-grown tomatoes this afternoon. They were still warm from the sun. Shame I can't share them with you. YUM.
If you insist on wearing those dumb-looking nylon running shorts when you decide to "stretch" by putting your leg up on the metal bar you press down on to open a door that is right beside me while I'm on the elliptical
a) please wear underwear (seeing your twig and berries - although I only saw a bit of berry - was not appealing)
b) when you press too hard on the metal bar while stretching and the door goes flying open into the breezeway causing the alarm to go off and you land on your ass, I'm entitled to laugh. A lot.
Love, Scuba Diva
P.S. If you're an older gentleman in great shape, having very fluffy long white chest hair that looks like you have a cat strapped to your chest isn't appealing. One word: manscaping. Or keep your frickin' shirt on.
We have a primary election this week in Georgia. So every commerical is chock-full of mudslinging. No issues discussed just negative ads.
Yesterday, I watched the Democratic candidates for Govenor debate. Who would have thought it would have me laughing so hard that seltzer water would come out my nose?
There are two candidates that are well-known, well-polished and have carried out many campaigns. Neither answered any question with a straight answer - there was bobbing and weaving all over the place. The other two, well, let's just say that "Deer in Headlights" would be a kind description of their performance.
One guy in particular. William G. "Mac" McCarley . He reminds me of Ross Perot - but without a clue. I googled him - nothing came up. No website, no coverage in the local paper, nada. The moderator would ask him a question and he's say "I agree with what the lady said." or "I'll pass." (I think the other candidates and the moderator had to bite their tongue to keep from laughing.)
On the topic of our watershed (aka water shortages) he said we should just recycle our water and ship it down to south Georgia for the farmers. (Um, ok.)
Then, on a question about transportation or something totally unrelated, he started saying that marriage is between a man and a woman but that doesn't mean that 'the gays' have to be shut out of things. He went on to say "I have a gay grandson and if anyone created legislation or anything to hurt him, I'd go after them with a baseball bat!" (I kid you not!)
However, the piece de la resistance was the closing statement from him... The other candidates sum up their experience, plans for the future, etc. This guy says, "I've held off mentioning this until the end because none of my competitors have brought this issue up at all. Veterans. I would immediately impose a 1% sales tax on everything for our boys abroad. They're going to need it when they come back. They're screwed up in the head over there. And they are coming back here. Some of them are already back and they're nuts."
I cannot make this up. There's another debate between these candidates this afternoon. I can't wait to watch round two with this guy.
Did my time at the gym this afternoon. It was miserable - the a/c wasn't working in the cardio room (or it was set to 80). And I forgot to pack extra clothes, so no ice cold shower to cool me off afterwards.
I had a parking spot in the first row. My ankle was killing me, so I was walking slow (and limping)I put my gym bag in the trunk, get out another cold bottle of water (had a cooler in there), and before I can even shut the trunk, this woman in a mini-van starts beeping her horn at me, yelling and gesturing for me to get moving.
There is a parking spot directly in front of my car on the 2nd row. And several other spots. And her nasty attitude made me realize I was suddenly feeling 'lightheaded' and needed to sit in my car for a few mins to cool off before leaving.
The woman (who looked like she could use walking from the 6th row of parking spots), then blows her horn again - for several seconds. Meanwhile, I'm taking my ice cold bottle of water, rubbing it along my neck, face, popping some Aleve and checking for missed calls.
Then the bitch (yes, at that point, she's earned the name) actually gets out of her car and puts her greasy hand on my window and tries to OPEN my car door! She's calling me a 'f*cking white c*nt". I have my cell phone in one hand pretending to dial 911 and I grab my pepper spray with the other hand and show them to her.
I mouthed the words "CHILL!"
She goes back to her mini-van and then parks in the handicapped spot (no permit) and waddles into the gym.
I call the police and tell them that she was parked in the handicapped spot. There's a police station not 100 ft down the street. As I was driving off, the police car was pulling in.
Had a counseling session today. Talked about how I'm feeling down. I don't think it's necessarily that I'm depressed per-se. I think that it's more that I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed by a lot of stuff right now that is beyond my control and situational. That causes anxiety, insecurity, insomnia. I don't feel sad though.
However, counselor had me rendezvous with the in-house psychiatrist. Explained that I was not a fan of anti-depressants and I didn't feel like I needed them right now, that I felt like I'm just more aware and noticing these 'warning signs'. She agreed. I told her that I had stopped taking Klonopin because it can trigger depression. She gave me another perscription for it. (Not taking it though... I'm still going to try to tough it out)
I feel like I'm really opening up with the counselor - it figures because she's leaving the practice next month. We haven't discussed who will be taking me over. And she's getting me the referral for the family counseling with my mother. She said she was concerned that it might stress me out more - but I told her that what was currently going on wasn't working and it couldn't get any worse - and if it did get more inflamed for a while, that it was a means to an end and I could deal with that.
I'm beat. 3 hours of sleep and this heat is murder.
I don't know what it is, but I've been feeling more and more down the past few weeks. Particularly so the past couple of days. I can't put my finger on it and say it's X. Number of different people in my life are sort of influencing how I feel. Plus there's other stressors. And I guess I just don't deal well with stress. Or maybe it's just that I feel like I've had a HUGE amount on my shoulders with no reprieve for so long that it just gets to me at times. It's only going to get worse in the near future and there aren't many options for me.
I'm doing what I can to take care of myself - eating healthy, taking my supplements, ;trying to pace myself and exercising. (That's the one area where I have probably been overdoing it, but they say that exercise is good for endorphins and depression.) I'm scared that I'm going to backslide. I don't want to go back to where I was 6 months ago.
Dermatologist appt this morning. 9am. Was seen around 12:30. They did more biopsies (think a tiny cookie-cutter on my abdomen). Took fluid samples from the blisters and did some other tests. I've now seen a total of 9 dermatologists and everyone is clueless. This one's spin on it is that it's somehow lupus-related (although I don't have lupus, I have a related disorder called Mixed-Connective Tissue Disorder or "Your immune system is fucked up"). Said the results would take about 2 weeks. The report from the last biopsies said "the findings are not specific". I just love medical professionals sometime.
Despite feeling like ca-ca, I decided to go to the gym and do some of the circuit-training. (Makes sense when all my muscles ache and going up stairs makes me cringe). I did something I chastise other gym-goers for doing (even though I caught myself). I was listening to my MP3 player - a remix of "Promiscuous" came on and I was humming it. Bad girl, bad!
There's a guy there that I've encountered on a few occasions. I'm not quite sure if he's retarded (seriously) or just extremely developmentally and socially impaired. He'll stand right behind or in front of you while you're doing your set waiting for you to finish - even though there are 20+ other machines in the area that he could use. He's made comments to me before about doing more than 12 reps at a time (sometimes I'll do 20-25 if no one is waiting) - because he'll come up and read the computer monitor tracking my progress on the machine. So, I've opted to just ignore him.
Today, I saw this guy was there about 1/2 way thru my workout. At one point he cuts right in front of me to use a machine, when, in theory, I have the right of way because I'm following the order of the circuit. I'm not exaggerating, but he was on the verge of pushing me to get to it. I thought to myself "whatever" and did something else. Then he comes over to the machine I would use next in the circuit and stands there, waiting for me to finish. (There are a grand total of 3 people in the area) I ignore him and go to the other side of the gym to use another machine. Then he crosses my path again and says hello. (I have headphones on and I just pretend like I don't see/hear him). He gets this expression like "WTF?". He tries it a few more times while I"m finishing up. The guy is a major annoyance. He's rude and I don't care if he has disabilities, I don't have to engage him.
And as a side note, I've decided to switch YMCA's - there's another one that is equi-distance to my home and is a lot nicer, cleaner, more modern and has cuter guys. All reasons to switch!
I just got a spam message that cracked me up. It said "If penises could talk, they would ask for the Penis Enlargement System."
Now I personally don't own a penis, but if one started talking to me one day, I'd be REALLY concerned.
Wondering - guys do you talk to your penises? Do you admit to having conversations with them? I've never spoken to my breasts or any other part of my anatomy, but I guess penises are in a league of their own...
Last night I woke up about 11:30 pm, in bed, although I had no recollection of going to bed. The back door was open - like I leave it for the cats to go in/out while I'm home during the day.Totally unlike me. I remember watching a (bad) movie. After that, totally clueless... Muscles all over my body feel really weak - like I couldn't go up the stairs. I had to crawl up them last night.
I still went to the gym this morning because I'm a trooper. Thought maybe getting the blood pumping would do me some good. Got thru the workout. In the shower afterwards, I am washing off and realize the blisters are back on my abdomen. Not the same exact spots, but similar areas. I thought yesterday the area was sort of streaky red, but I didn't give it much thought. And another one of my toenails came off this afternoon. Slightly feverish but the fever last go 'round started slowly.
Left (another) message for my doctor. What the FUCK is going on??? I STILL haven't heard back from the Dermatologists about my biopsies done 3 weeks ago. Is it shingles? Staph B? Both? Or, as another doctor suggested, I need to see an infectious disease specialist. (Does this mean I could be potentially infectious to others???)
I was JUST beginning to feel somewhat normal (for me) after the past 6 weeks having me on my ass. What is wrong with me???
I live in a fairly upscale neighborhood. 2-3x a week, my mailbox and driveway are littered with business cards in plastic bags with some rocks (to keep them from blowing away) soliciting lawn service, maid service, roofing, painting, etc.
However, sometimes, they use scotch tape to affix to the mailbox. A black metal mailbox that is scorching hot in the summer sun and melts into the paint, so when you remove it, it takes the paint off.
Then the Nazi Homeowners Association fines you for the mailbox. And we can't go to a plastic mailbox.
So I called Mitxi's Cleaning Service and left her a message. Saying that I was calling about the card they had left on my mailbox. So she called me a few mins later, perky, thinking I was a prospective customer. Told her about how her card damaged my mailbox. I suggested that perhaps they at least use a rubber band to attach it or just leave it in the driveway.
She didn't offer any sort of apology. She just said "Uh-huh". Had she apologized or made any sort of concession, I would have
I'm really tempted to repaint my mailbox and send her the bill with photos and a demand for payment. And then get a magnet on the side that says "DO NOT POST anything on this mailbox or I will sue you for any damage it causes"
When I was driving around today after aborted attempt to work out, I saw something that made me laugh out loud...
I'm at a red light. Behind me is a late-model Ford Mustang. Guy driving it (alone) in his early 40's - beginnings of a receding hairline but hair growing out a bit, a little on the heavy side, top down on the car. He is singing and dancing in the seat. I mean the epitome of "White boys can't dance" sort of moves. But he didn't care. He glanced over at the car next to them and gave them a thumbs up gesture while he continued to boogie on. I was looking in the rearview mirror laughing and envious. I wish I felt that free.
However, I couldn't hear what he was listening to. What do you think? From his gyrations, it was something more upbeat than "Lay Down Sally". Maybe ABBA? Maybe I'm projecting?
P.S. It's hot here. Thermometer said 98 outside earlier. Upstairs it's 93. But there's a little breeze outside now. Just reminding myself that I find sitting in the sauna at 170 with a book relaxing so I have to think of this as a piece of cake.
I went to the gym really late on Friday - I figured it would be mostly empty and peaceful on a Friday night. I paid my dues to the elliptical gods and then thought I'd sweat out some more in the sauna with a book. I mean, saunas are the epitome of relaxation, right?
Sidenote: The YMCA has a women's locker room that says explicitly, for 18 and up that contains the sauna and steam room as well as showers and dressing area. There is a separate locker room for women with children with showers.
I relax in the sauna, enjoying my book. I hear kids in the shower and a woman talking to them, so I figured they'd be in/out.
But nooooooo.
Three girls (7-8ish) come out of the shower (while the mother is still in there) and start playing with the bathsuit drying machine (think salad spinner for bathing suits). Noisy machine that isn't meant to be kept going for 5+ minutes as they keep pouring water into the machine to keep their suits wet. I *try* to block them out.
Then they are running up and down the length of the area, screaming at each other. (What I didn't realize is that one of them had turned one of the shower heads to shoot a jet of water at them - completely soaking my gym bag that was hanging on a hook by the sauna. Had my MP3 player been in there, it would have been ruined)
Now the shower is still going with the adult woman in it...
Next, the girls start opening the door to the sauna. I ask (gently) to please shut the door, that they were letting the heat out. Door shuts. Door opens. Door opens wider. Door opens fully and they stand there and say "It's hot in here." I get up, tell them that this is for adults only and tell them (nicely) to stay out.
The go back to the bathing suit/salad spinner. The mom has been in the shower for more than 20 minutes now. I can't take it any more. So I shower and head back to the dressing area. The kids (and the adult woman) are there at this point. I didn't think it was appropriate to have them there and to dress in front of them, so I went to an area that is for dressing for the modest with a showercurtain. I'm in there, shorts on, putting on my bra and I can hear them running around the dressing area, screaming. Then one of them yanks open the curtain as I'm mid-bra. I said "GOD DAMMMIT!" And they went running away.
I got dressed and went up to the main desk on my way out and gave them a summary of the last 30 minutes. They were aghast and apologized.
I got an email Saturday morning saying the gym was closed until Monday due to a fire Friday night. Gee, wonder if those little monsters had anything to do with it?
Now, I'm sure the woman in the shower (guessing she was their caretaker and not actually the mother) wanted a few moments of peace and quiet in the shower. But the disruption those three caused was inexcusable... Had I had any duct tape, it would have been utilized. They are going to be on America's Most Wanted and/or Cops in no time.
