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| Wanna see Crabs? |
| 11.29.05 (7:43 pm) [edit] |
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OMG OMG OMG OMG The Georgia Aquarium ROCKS. (Understatement) I took more than 200 pics - loaded some of them online for you guys to enjoy: http://www.dotphoto.com/go.asp?l=atlscubadiva&p=4508 " title="http://www.dotphoto.com/go.asp?l=atlscubadiva&p=4508 " target="_blank"http://www.dotphoto.com/go.as... I hope the link works! I'll post more pics tomorrow but I'm whipped. |
| I did it |
| 11.28.05 (2:09 pm) [edit] |
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I've been leaving messages for the Lieutenant for 2 weeks without a response. He called me back this morning while I was in my medical guinea pig appt. So I called him back and left a message saying he could reach me ANYTIME but between 1-2pm. So when did he call? 1:30. I called him back when I got out of my counseling session. He said that "T" has yet to respond to any of the visits they've made. I told him to proceed with the criminal charges. He said that he would forward the file to the District Atty and they'd get back to me about the Grand Jury. So the wheels are in motion. My counselor was there when I spoke to him. She asked me how I felt - I told her - kinda numb. I don't feel like this was a measure that is going to make some prolific difference in my healing, but "T" can't get away with this. His arrogance at ignoring the police further demonstrates his belief that he's above everyone else. Never done anything like this before, so I'm sort of unsure as to the process. I know that although the 'rape victim' (I hate that term) isn't supposed to be put on trial, I am sure that I'll have to deal with a lot of crap since it's my word vs his. |
| My naughty dream |
| 11.27.05 (5:23 pm) [edit] |
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I learned that if you watch 5 episodes of Lost back to back before going to bed, you might end up falling asleep and have a dream about being stranded on an island with Jack, Sawyer, and Sayid. The dream actually started to turn somewhat racy, but I woke myself up at the thought of smooching all those stubbley chins. (Makes my delicate skin raw and irritated.) Why couldn't they have been stranded with a bunch of razors in my dream???? I bet it would have been XXX rated. (giggles) |
| No-Win Situation |
| 11.25.05 (1:05 pm) [edit] |
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My Thanksgiving was a very nice quiet one. I *did* speak to "the mother" who had to find a way to get her guilt-ridden stirring up shit stuff in - in a 5 minute phone call. She said... "I don't know what I've done to you all these years to make you shut me out of your life completely." I didn't say a word. I'm thinking "This is a loaded gun, no-win situation." She says "Hello?" I said "I don't see the point of even responding to that." To which she says "I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving" (Click)She hangs up. And to think an exchange like that is going to make me want to spend time with her? Uh, NO! |
| Why??? |
| 11.23.05 (12:29 pm) [edit] |
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Someone enlighten me on this... Sitting in traffic this morning at an intersection. There are 4 gas stations within view. 3 of them are selling gas from $1.93 - $1.99/gal regular unleaded. The other one is selling it for $3.14/gal. There were three people pumping gas at the $3.14/gal station. WHY??? It was a small independent station - so it's not like they could have all been corporate accounts like might be reasoned at an Exxon. There weren't lines at the other stations. So why would someone pay in excess of $1/gal more for gas? Why? Why? Why? |
| Hall of Fame Bad Date |
| 11.23.05 (6:21 am) [edit] |
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Let me begin by saying that I can't make this stuff up... I was supposed to meet "Rusty" at a central location at 6pm. I knew traffic would be bad, so I left with plenty of time to get there. At 6pm, he called saying traffic was bad and he'd be 10-15 more mins. (I gave him some slack since he's only been in town a few weeks.) There was a store I luv nearby, so I figured I'd make a quick peek. (And got two cute hats, so no matter what, the evening wasn't a total waste.) I got back to the Starbucks at 6:15. I cozied up in a comfy seat and was talking on the phone with my buddy, ProducerBoy (who recently got a totally kick-ass tattoo btw). About 5 mins later, a guy that resembled "Rusty" came in. I smiled and he smiled back. He ordered a coffee and sat down in the seat next to me. But I noticed he was wearing a wedding band and realized he wasn't the guy in the pic. Then "Rusty" called back. He had driven about 10 miles too far south. I told him to sit still and I'd come to him. There wasn't really many choices to hang out at around there and he said he wanted a beer. I recalled there was a pretty cool pizza place not far away and told him to follow me over there. Get there and the pizza place is no longer there. Instead it's a somewhat nice-looking Mexican place. (I figured he could still get beer there..) Oddly, he parks about 3 rows over from my car - even though I picked a row where there was plenty of spaces around. So we say our hi's. He's dressed shabbily. (Car's not much better). He offers me a Certs - I decline, saying I had just brushed my teeth. He says that he smokes so his breath is always bad. (MAJOR ick) He says he wants to go to the Korean Karoke bar instead of the nicer-looking Mexican place. We walk in and there's no one in the place. It's 7:30. You would think someone would be in there. Sit in a huge booth... He orders a beer and I say I'll have a green tea. He said "You have to have a beer." I replied that I don't drink when I drive. He said "You'll be here for a while, it's ok." I responded again that I don't drink when I drive and that I was cold and wanted to warm up with some tea. The 'really friendly and attentive' waiter tells me they don't offer tea at night. I ask him if the kitchen is unable to heat some water and bring out a tea bag. (Insert obscene inner-dialogue telling the waiter what he can do with the hot water) We look at the (one) menu the waiter brings over. (He's clearly working his way for a huge tip). It consists of dried seaweed and squid for $16.00+. A plate of french fries was $9.95 (I'm not kidding) I pass on eating anything... "Rusty" makes a comment about me drinking tea when it is brought and I again say that I'm chilled and want to warm up. He says his hands are cold and makes a gesture about warming them up in my cleavage. (I am NOT kidding.) Next "Rusty" tells me about how he had to kill all his fish since he couldn't bring them to Atlanta with him. (He poured a bottle of bleach in the tank) I tried changing the subject. He loved dwelling on it. I told him about my cats, showed him pics on my phone and he said Lulu was the ugliest cat he'd ever seen. (At that point, I was seriously planning on chucking the mug at his head) Now "Rusty" doesn't have a job. I forwarded his resume to "N" b/c I know he's hiring some people with his background. I have LOTS of contacts that would be helpful to him. He wasn't doing much to impress me. In fact, nothing he'd done so far impressed me - at all. "Rusty" isn't hideous looking, but he's no Hot Man of Tblog. He starts telling me that he's confident that he's attractive and his ideal woman is the body of Pamela Anderson with the brain of Stephen Hawking. (I think he's more likely to end up with the exact opposite). He tries to turn on his charm at this point - grabbing my hands and telling me that he knows I find him attractive. (I'm stifling my laughs at this point) He's suggests coming over to my house. I tell him that there is no chance in hell. I didn't want to aggravate him while in his presence, so I (lied) said that I didn't find him not attractive, but I have to get to know a person before I find myself attracted to him. He asked about on a purely superficial level - I changed the subject. Shortly thereafter, I said I needed to head home. He walked me to my car (at least he did that because it was not the safest area). Gave him a half-hearted hug and laid rubber out of there. He called me shortly thereafter but I had already programmed my phone not to bother ringing when he called. I should have left after the cleavage incident but I was determined to get thru a date even if it was with an ass. It was a total waste of lipgloss. |
| Drumroll please.... |
| 11.22.05 (6:27 am) [edit] |
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Hold on to your seats Tbloggers... I have a date this evening. Yep. With someone new. But before you get all excited... He's not exactly primo dating material. He's been emailing me thru my MySpace site. He's relatively new to Atlanta (fresh meat - hehe). He is living in his brother-in-law's solarium (which he describes as a closet), doesn't have a job. We are just meeting for coffee. I think we'll call him "Rusty" (hehe). Not nervous about it - using him as sort of a guinea pig. Still haven't figured out if/when telling someone about 'it'. I'll figure that out in time. However, I did talk to "N" yesterday - and I'm going to see about passing along 'the date's' resume to "N". (And I had a really odd dream about him last night too) Wish me luck. And I'm really glad none of you live here in town because I can see you guys showing up and pressing your noses against the glass of the coffeeshop. LOL Update: I officially have nothing to wear. Well, that's not completely true but I cannot make up my mind what I should wear. We've gone thru at least six outfits. Then I thought to myself - um, I have no romantic interest at all in this dude, so why do I care? On the otherhand, my chin looks like a pizza - perfecto timing - my skin never breaks out. Then again, reminding myself, I don't really care what he thinks of my chin. |
| Bipolar Stripper Resurfaces |
| 11.21.05 (7:29 am) [edit] |
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For you 'seasoned' Tbloggers, you may recall the drama that ocurred with me and my former best friend "Jen, the untreated bipolar former stripper". (I don't mean that derogatorily, it's just the easiest way to remind everyone who she is.) I inadvertently dialed her number on Friday instead of Jeff (next to each other on my phonebook). I realized it after the first ring and hung up. Yesterday, I got four calls from Jen. Voicemails saying she's glad that I want to be friends again and that she has missed me. (Sort of jumping the gun there!) The dilemma: I forgave Jen. I told her that 18 months ago when I told her I could not be her friend anymore. That did not mean that I could ever trust her again - she hurt me deeply. Do I return the call and explain to her that I dialed her number by accident and it wasn't intended to renew the friendship? I don't want to cause her any undue pain, and I know that not answering/returning the call would do that (As I'm QUITE aware of how that feels). I'm thinking that it would be better to send her a note - she doesn't have email that I'm aware of. I've got to head off to the gym and then the counselor - I'll update the backstory later... |
| Psycho! |
| 11.21.05 (7:05 am) [edit] |
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I had my version of a re-enactment of the shower scene from Psycho yesterday. I had hopped into the shower and was sudsing up with that really great Italian Shea Butter soap that smells soooo good. All of a sudden... BAM! Something struck me thru the shower curtain. Scared the ever-living-bejeebers out of me. I lost my balance and fell out of the shower, hit my head on the toilet and cut my hand in the fall. Turns out it was Lulu, sitting on the john, batting at me. I guess I can be thankful that Lulu didn't watch "Saw 2" over the weekend... |
| Bait & Switch |
| 11.19.05 (7:47 am) [edit] |
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I was at the gym yesterday (as always). There was this amazingly beautiful young Abercrombie & Fitch-esque 19ish year old guy there. Brown wavy hair to his shoulders that I was jealous of. Had this really innocent look to him (Onebadjen would loooove to corrupt him.) Gave me something to 'focus' on while I was working on my inner thighs (LOL). There wasn't anyone else in the circuit training area at the time. I was trying to figure out a way to sneak my camera phone out and non-chalantly take a pic of this total piece of eye candy. I was doing one exercise and Mr. Hot Studboy was at the machine directly behind me - so my back was to him. He was groaning and grunting and making all these noises. I won't even mention what was going through my mind as I like to keep this a PG blog. (ahem) I open my eyes because I hear some noise next to me. I glance over to see (not 2 feet from my face) the hairiest pastey-white fat plumber's crack! An old dude was leaning over adjusting the equipment next to me. ICK!!!! Totally killed the lust-fest moment. In fact, I think I had nightmares about it. |
| Leaving is so hard to do |
| 11.17.05 (3:34 pm) [edit] |
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Yesterday, I raked up all of my neighbor's leaves (that fall into my yard) and filled 5 trashcans with leaves. I went outside today... Doesn't even look like I raked. Whole back yard covered again. This time, I'm 'returning' the leaves back over the fence to him because I'm sure he's missing them. (Right?) |
| It\'s about time |
| 11.14.05 (2:52 pm) [edit] |
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Counseling appt today with the psychologist that I 'click' with. We talked at length about my concerns about proceeding with filing criminal charges against "T". If I think I'm really in a stable enough place to deal with the added stress. I have some people that are a support system, and they TOTALLY rock, it's just that they aren't nearby. She wants me to really work on that. (And I have been trying to reconnect with some folks that I've been somewhat estranged from) She's still really pressing me to sit down with a friend and tell them about what happened in detail. She said that she thinks it's crucial for me to do that - especially before talking face to face with the District Atty. I think a friend is going to be in town for T'giving (I hope so!), and I plan on spilling the beans then. (They know the basics that I was drugged and raped and a lot of the emotional stuff I've been dealing with, but none of the specifics of the evening.) I haven't spoken to anyone about it. And I think it's time. |
| Aphrodisiacs |
| 11.13.05 (2:16 pm) [edit] |
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Forbes magazine has an article on aphrodisiacs that "really" work. Here's the link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9... ***Lemme know if you think they are the real deal or not. 1) Barry White music I've never had a guy turn on some Barry while trying to seduce me. Maybe it's a generational thing, but I think I'd crack up because it'd be so obvious. Now don't get me wrong, I totally dig Barry and often listen to his tunes when having my weekly rendezvous with Mr. Bubble. However, in all my dating experience, not once has a guy whipped out Barry White. 2) A few stiff drinks Since I have no tolerance to alcohol, getting me sauced leads to me passing out. Not sure that's a lot of fun. And if I have just a few drinks, I end up being quite saucy. Maybe I'd be up doing a pole dance, but that would lead to a trip to the ER. 3) A dozen oysters Yuck. Calamari (fried) maybe, but then I'd be calculating the fat grams and carbs and imagining them attached to my thighs. Probably not the best method to get in my panties. 4) Promises Maybe that works on younger girls, but I've heard it all and believe maybe 10% out of what comes out of a man's mouth when I know he's targeting my 'promised land'. Actions speak louder than words. If a man's mouth is moving while trying to seduce me, I'm 99% sure it's game. 5) A little skin Skin on a guy...depends on the guy. I don't want to see Furby chest hair under the shirt. Then again, seeing a guy in a towel while shaving - MEOW! 6) Manolo Blahniks As much as a shoe freak I am, I would *never* wear a pair of shoes that cost more than $200. Just a waste of money in my book. However, having a cute pair of strappy high heels on does make this girl feel somewhat like a sex kitten. 7) Backrubs Is there any more obvious way to try to seduce someone? In theory, backrubs sound divine, but they generally fall into three categories a) too gentle and no clue how to rub, just doing a half-assed attempt b) too rough and making me want to jump out of my skin c) those that do a few half-decent rubs before trying to grab boobage, etc. As sensual as it *should* be, they always seem to fall short. 8) Perfume In 11th grade, I dated a guy that wore Drakkar. I swear that scent was literally intoxicating to me. Then at prom, my senior year, he put the moves on my best friend behind my back. Ever since then, it makes me nauseated. But, if a guy I'm seeing comments on liking my fragrance, I'll make a point of wearing it when I see him. If he doesn't like it, we could always go out testing different ones... 9) Money Um, I am not a hooker. Nor do I play one on tv. 10)Diamond engagement ring I would be running in the opposite direction. Definite mood-killer. |
| Next step |
| 11.10.05 (9:27 am) [edit] |
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After a long conversation with the Ass\'t DA yesterday, I spoke to the Lieutenant for quite some time this morning. Forwarded both of them the IM history between \"T\" and myself. The Lt. said that \"T\" is aware they are looking for him. They\'ve left business cards 4x and he hasn\'t responded to them. The Lt. said he was \"dodging\" or \"hiding\". (His truck has been there every time I\'ve driven by...) Both the ADA and the Lt. keep pressing me about what I want them to do. I explained to the Lt. that I wasn\'t seeking revenge, or to feel empowered or \'made whole\' by this. That I wanted to do whatever was necessary to make sure that \"T\" didn\'t do it again. I shared in great detail about my history with \"T\" - that if I had just met this guy and gone over to his home and had been drinking - that I would have never filed a complaint. But what he did was wrong and he was so cavalier about the situation that I felt I had to do something. I had wanted to sit down with the ADA and talk about the situation, etc, after the police had interviewed \"T\". The Lt. told me that I had to be very sure about proceeding because there was no turning back once the wheels started. There\'s a lot more, but I\'m not going to post it on the internet. I\'m seeing the counselor again on Monday - I\'ll be discussing things with her and with some of my friends. I certainly feel like I\'m in a better place emotionally - but do I want to stir things up? |
| Paranoid? |
| 11.04.05 (6:06 am) [edit] |
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Nothing like a morning panic attack. I was typing an email to someone, looked down and saw who I thought was "T" walking around the side of my house. Trying to rationalize that it might be the gas or electric meter reader guy - but those guys have equipment in hand. (And they are usually much younger.) I'm sure it's nothing. I have an 8ft fence around the back yard. He wouldn't be so stupid. Still it's a reminder. I still have a long way to go. |
| Soulmates |
| 11.03.05 (12:36 pm) [edit] |
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I'm in the mood to do absolutely nothing productive today, so I've been (pseudo) shopping online on Overstock.com I came upon this dvd: BELLY DANCING YOUR WAY TO YOUR SOULMATE (DVD) http://www.overstock.com/?page=proframe&prod_i d=1011425" title="http://www.overstock.com/?page=proframe&prod_i d=1011425" target="_blank"http://www.overstock.com/?pag... This made me laugh. First of all, it begs the question, is there such thing, truly, as a soulmate? Is there just ONE? What if that soulmate got hit by an out-of-control ice cream truck at age 3? Are you screwed to a life of misery and solitude? Is there a runner-up? Can you possibly have multiple soul-mates? What if your soulmate is married to someone else? Secondly, assuming that there is a soul mate out there for each of us, what if your soul mate is your boss? Are you supposed to jump up on the table and start belly-dancing during the monthly sales meeting to catch his eye? What if you are rhythmically-challenged and any attempt to belly-dance will cause any witnesses to fall over into hysterical laughing (Not that I've personally had this experience, mind you) Is belly-dancing the ONLY way to get your soulmate? What about line dancing? or perhaps the polka? Maybe a precursor was "Macarena your way to your soulmate"? BTW, I have a "Bellydancing for Dummies" DVD if anyone is interested, before I put it up on ebay. |
| Here we go...again |
| 11.02.05 (5:02 am) [edit] |
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The detective left me a message yesterday late afternoon advising me that he had gotten "T's" updated (aka correct) address (that I had given his superior officer 10 days ago) and would be paying him a visit this morning. Part of me is super-anxious about it. The other part of me recalls that it's been about 4 months since I first tried to file the complaint and the police have done squat to investigate this. Will anything actually happen? My concern is "T's" temper - that he may come here... Add to the fun, a pre-arranged visit to 'the mother's' this morning. Joy joy. Remind me to pick up some Klonopin... *Note to friends - I can really use some check-in calls this afternoon/evening. |
by Redonthehead