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| Unisexually Topical |
| 09.29.05 (4:33 am) [edit] |
|
Shifted the shoes in my closet from "summer" to "winter" position in my closet. Tossed 14 pair to Goodwill. Doesn't that mean I have to immediately head out to find new ones to replace them? (Rather ironic because I have pretty much lived in tennis shoes and flip-flops in the past year...) I think there is a direct correlation between my shoe shopping (or lack thereof) and levels of depression. I need to get a research grant to study this. Perhaps DSW would be interested???? *I know any guy readers are rolling their eyes right now. I apologize for the girly ramblings. I'll try to be more unisexually topical next posting. |
| 8 Comments |
| I did it |
| 09.28.05 (12:53 pm) [edit] |
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I talked to the attorney this afternoon about pursuing a civil suit against "T". We got cut off but after talking to her, I have decided that I am going to pursue things against him. She said that the criminal system doesn't do its job and my delayed reaction was typical. It's a way that I can get some 'empowerment' (her word) and punish him. I don't really care about the money - I don't think I'd want any of it except to cover my expenses. I think I'd rather anything I received to go to a charity. I just want his life to be disrupted and have some sleepless nights and stress too. She wanted to know if I had written down about the account. I laughed - I told her I had done a lot of writing about it. (Didn't get into details about a lot of my writing was published on the internet.) |
| 0 Comments |
| Post-Op Report |
| 09.27.05 (1:34 pm) [edit] |
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Back from surgery. It went ok. Turned out it was a lot more extensive than first thought. The local anesthesia is beginning to wear off and the first twinges of "owwwwies" are beginning. The doctor said that days 2-6 would be a beast painwise, so I'm avoiding taking any of the Vicodin until then. Surprisingly, the surgical experience wasn't so bad. The doctor was cool. The anesthesiologist was too. Both pretty cute too. (I didn't get a chance to ask if either were married b/c they were wearing rubber gloves and couldn't detect wedding bands.) Both were accommodating in regard to the direction I wanted to go with treatment and that I only wanted local anesthesia. I was wheeled into the OR around 8:16 and was dressed and out the door by 9:30. (Granted I had to wait until 11:30 for my medications...) My only complaints were: the IV wasn't put in very well and I had to keep my wrist at a really awkward position or the IV wouldn't drip. (I know Nurse Nancy would NEVER do anything like that!) they didn't have any heated blankets - only sheets and my feet get so darn cold with that cold IV running in me (so I had on 3 pr of socks) they wouldn't provide a 2nd hospital gown so you had to hold on to the back as to avoid flashing anyone a peek of your posterior. But I was a good girl, so I got ginger ale and graham crackers when I was dressed. :) |
| 6 Comments |
| Another Visit from Alvin |
| 09.24.05 (12:19 pm) [edit] |
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Yes, it's another one of those stories that can ONLY happen to me... This morning, I was upstairs for a few hours cleaning, blogging, etc. I come down the stairs to see Lulu and Sassy sitting on either side of a box I had in the (empty) living room. Something told me something was up... I thought perhaps they had cornered a bug. So I walk over and peek between the box and the wall. Guess who's there? Yep. Alvin the chipmunk. (Alive and well) I have NO idea how long he's been in the house. But he had traveled from the back door to the front. I take a picture of Alvin with my camera (to document I wasn't hallucinating) and grab a large plastic shoe box and lid, thinking I'd scoop him up into it and take him back outside. Do you know how (pardon my French) fucking fast those little fuckers can move? Alvin scurried into my (also empty) dining room and got himself under my large (unused) entertainment center. I moved it out. Blocked the doorway to the kitchen (didn't want him behind the fridge or in the den). Used a stick to try to get him out (since he didn't want to come out with my pleading in a soothing voice). Then I lost sight of him. Called the cats to help 'sniff' him out. They weren't interested. I guess they felt they had done their duty or there was some sort of union-required break. I had a blanket, thought I might throw it over him (I watched Planet of the Apes last night and the net idea seemed to work for them.) It didn't quite work as well for me. The little critter went right over my foot. I was trying to 'shoo' him toward the OPEN front door. No, instead, he goes to the corner at the door where it attaches to the wall. I'm TRYING to explain to him to go that way and that I just wanted to help him. (But apparently he doesn't speak English and I don't speak chipmunk) So he runs past the open door and back to the entertainment center. At this point, I'm weighing the likelihood of what sort of diseases a potential chipmunk bite might have... I'm ready to grab him with my hands. (The chase by this time has been going on over an hour!)And I swear I heard him growl or squeak at me. I corner him a few more times unsuccessfully and FINALLY get him back toward the front door. And just as he's inches away from making it out the front door, Sassy was coming in the front door - so they were nose-to-nose (give or take a foot of height differential). Alvin goes scurrying back to the entertainment center. I'm beginning to consider the fact that I might now have a permanent resident of the chipmunkian persuasion in the house. With the long stick cat toy and the blanket, I'm able to coax Alvin out and shoo him out the front door after more than 90 minutes... I'd like to thank my felines for all their help in helping me get Alvin out of the house (NOT!) They were totally disinterested in him once I came into the picture. Lulu and Sassy were a disgrace to chipmunk-herding cats everywhere. But I'm worried, he lives in the back yard - do you think he'll make it back there ok? |
| 14 Comments |
| Semantics of Rape |
| 09.23.05 (3:37 pm) [edit] |
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Had another appt at the rape crisis center today. It was ok. (Still not thrilled with the counselor who is uber-placating). However, she did make an interesting point... I've always said that I didn't really identify with the word "rape" - it wasn't about the sex that has bothered me so much. It was the betrayal - that he trashed our supposed friendship, risked my health and drugged me so recklessly. She said that most women that were drugged often have a hard time identifying with the sexual aspects of it because their recollection of the actual sexual acts are so hazy. (Made sense.) Talked at length with the woman that handles the victim's compensation fund and she gave me more information on how to handle the reimbursement for my medical expenses. And, she also gave me the name of an atty that handles civil cases involving sexual assaults. I'm having surgery on Tuesday (minor stuff) but it's directly related to what "T" did to me. I may be opening a can of worms, but I really think that I'm going to pursue things in court against him. I don't really give a flip about getting a dime from him - but I know that it would be a bitch for him. |
| 8 Comments |
| Barney Fife and Me |
| 09.21.05 (4:19 pm) [edit] |
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I talked to the detective that is handling the complaint against "T". If I say he's the urban version of "Barney Fife", would you understand? He does appear to be a little more sympathetic than the jackass I initially met with. He asked me what I wanted to do (I decided that suggesting he be strung by his balls for the birds to peck at would be overdoing it a bit). The detective said that "T's" phone number is disconnected and there is no forwarding number. (I haven't tried calling it, so I have no idea. However, I have given the detective his home address, vehicle description and tag number. Told him "T" is usually home most evenings after 7ish. I also mentioned that his house is for sale and suggested that perhaps the listing agent just might have contact information for him. (Subtle, eh?) I advised the detective that I was concerned about retaliation from "T" and that I'd like to be notified when contact has been made with him so I can be on alert. He assured me he would. (Do I believe it? Nope.) |
| 9 Comments |
| Cold in Here |
| 09.18.05 (6:41 pm) [edit] |
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I have a cold. I made chicken soup (from scratch, not a can) yesterday. Drinking grapefruit juice. Letting it run its course. Just hope I don't hack up a lung in the process. Was at the gym today on the circuit weights doing chest presses when I sneezed something awful. Nothing like projectile yellow snot to interrupt your focus. I raided my home pharmacy. Damn, I have a lot of good meds if I want to become a junkie. Was deciding which medication to take for the ebola virus that I'm suffering from. Would someone please explain to me how you can go from having one nostril completely congested to miraculously having that one clear, only to have the other one simultaneously get clogged up? Is this one of the mysteries of nature? |
| 7 Comments |
| Commentary on Gym |
| 09.17.05 (1:21 pm) [edit] |
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I've been going to the local YMCA to exercise since July. I've never done circuit weight training before. I'm enjoying it - I am actually getting a butt! I've sorta had a flat one before, but I'm not going for JLO or Beyonce status... Been doing the elliptical as well, which is easier on my ankle than the treadmill I have at home. (Ironically, Lulu loves to sleep on it - if only I could get her to use it!) Some things I've noticed while there: Why do men, when lifting weights, feel compelled to grunt and groan SO loudly? I've yet to hear a woman make any sort of moaning noise. I'm tempted to do it myself just to get a reaction. I saw one man that sounded like he was having a baby or something - I followed him on the equipment and he had it set for 30lbs - I do 50lbs. Is it a manly thing? I understand that breathing is important, but sometimes it scares me. And other times I get this picture of "Is this the sound they make having sex?" Sometimes the weight area gets crowded, so I've learned that if I go mid-afternoon, there generally aren't a lot of people there. The problem is, that it's primarily 'seniors'. And for the most part, they are cranky and take forever to do the exercise. Yet if they notice you go over the 12 reps/set ideal, they have a hissy fit. Granted, they are not anywhere near you while you're doing the exercise to have a clue. Bras. Ladies. As someone who used to be extremely endowed, if you are going to be jogging - GET A SUPPORT BRA! I've seen so many women that were bouncing so much that I was afraid they were going to get a black eye. Men. If you are going to wear flouncy jogging shorts to the gym and you decide to get on the ab crunch machine, that little breeze your feeling up your shorts mean that we can have a full view of your (ahem) assets. Girls. There are some young nubile chicks that Butch would drool over. They show up in a jogbra and spandex shorts. It's funny to watch them hop on the treadmill bouncing around and all the older men fixated on them. I entertain myself by counting wood. The ones on the bikes are the most amusing. When did it become acceptable to wear slippers outside one's home? I've been seeing it more and more lately. Everything from fuzzy pink ones to Sponge Bob ones. Do they not have any shoes? Did they think it looked cute? (I'm talking grown women too) Done rambling. I'm doped up on Neurontin again. Going to a Tai Chi class in an hour. That should be entertaining. |
| 5 Comments |
| Mating Call |
| 09.16.05 (10:34 pm) [edit] |
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I haven't been sleeping well for weeks... You know that commercial on TV for Lunesta - with that peaceful green butterfly comes into the guy's room and he goes to that wonderful restful sleep? Well, I took it 3 hours ago and that MF'ing butterfly still hasn't come. I even opened the windows and called out "Here Butterfly". Anyone know any Lunesta butterfly mating calls? Maybe if I go around flapping my arms like a butterfly? (It doesn't say anything like that on the instructions. It says to be in bed when taking it - I was expecting to fall into a comatose sleep before I put the glass down.) No such luck. Maybe if I take 4 of them like I do with Ambien? Oh hell, I could always drink myself into a stupor... |
| 13 Comments |
| Interesting news |
| 09.14.05 (7:45 pm) [edit] |
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I had an appt today with a counselor at the rape crisis center. Nice homey sort of facility. The counselor though was a little too...um... empathetic and reassuring. I could have said "I feel a third arm growing from my forehead" and she would have replied "A lot of victims feel that way, it's totally normal and expected" in an uber-soothing voice. (Made me want to bang my head against the wall.) Never been an approach I really responded to - although I'm sure it works for a lot of women. However I did learn something quite interesting... Georgia has a victim's compensation fund that will pay up to $25k for medical and counseling costs. The fund is created by fines levied on criminals. So, I could actually go outside the system to get a counselor that I connect with... I'm going to talk to the woman that handles the program locally tomorrow. And I tried for the 4th time to call the detective that took the report I filed. Getting fed up with him too. Other drama going on, but I'll update that tomorrow. |
| 8 Comments |
| Wicked Nurse of the Eye Clnic |
| 09.14.05 (3:01 pm) [edit] |
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I had an 8am appt today with the cute eye doctor. There was another accident on the interstate that closed all lanes (same thing happened on Monday) and I sat there for ages. However, I still got to the clinic before 8am. I was the 3rd person to arrive, left my insurance card there and sat down. And waited. And waited. After 45 mins, any many other people had come/gone - I asked the woman at the front desk if there was a problem. She asked me why I was there, as I didn't have an appt. I told her that I had been there on Thurs, the (cute) doc had told me to come back at 8am. And I got a reminder phone call yesterday (so there HAD to be some sort of record somewhere.) She told me to sit down (very rudely) and she'd "TRY" to work me in but I was probably going to have to reschedule. I told her that I was assured by the doctor that I'd be in/out today and that I didn't understand the confusion or the delay. After giving me a boatload of attitude, she told me to go talk to someone else. I spoke briefly with another nasty woman who took my insurance card and disappeared. I heard the cute doctor's voice down the hallway, so I took a 'stroll' around 9:45 to look for a waterfountain. I happened to run into him as he was leaving a room. He said "I've been wondering where you were!" I replied that I had been there since before 8 and that there seemed to be some sort of mix-up as to whether I had an appt or not. He rolled his eyes, swore under his breath, and told me to come on into a treatment room. He put in the plugs in my tear ducts and told me to come back in 6 weeks. (in/out in less than 10 mins). Now I had to track down my insurance card from the Wicked Nurse of the Eye Clinic. I went back to the front desk and asked if I could get my card back. The woman said "I TOLD you to sit down and I'd get back to you when I could!" I said that I appreciated her extensive efforts to assist me, but I merely needed my card back. She said "You are going to reschedule?" I said, "No, I have already seen the doctor." *You should have seen the look on her face. She said "You snuck back there and saw him? Don't you know that there are other people waiting? Do you think you're better than the rest of us?" I said "Not in the least, I was getting a drink of water at the fountain and the doctor told ME to come into his treatment room." She said "He can't do that." I replied "But he did. Now may I have my card, please?" She wouldn't give it to me. She had to pull a supervisor, swearing under her breath. The supervisor was just as 'pleasant'. She told me that I wasn't playing by the rules. I had been quite polite and patient up to that point. I replied that I had an appt at 8am today. I got a confirmation call yesterday and would be happy to show the record of the incoming call from THEIR office. (She said it didn't matter) I said that I had been more than patient and that at least 15 people had been seen prior to me when I had one of the first appts of the morning. That I had waited more than 5 hours for my last appt and that there was clearly a problem in communication that was not MY fault. Had I been late for the appt, that's a different thing... At which point, I took the card OUT of her hand and walked away. When I was getting out of the elevator, I noticed a sign that said "Customer Service". I went in, spoke to a lovely woman that was shocked and admitted that there had been numerous complaints about the eye clinic. I gave detailed descriptions of each of the women I had dealt with. She said that it was inexusable and she would be filing a complaint with the Clinic Director immediately. |
| 19 Comments |
| Is there a doctor in the house? |
| 09.09.05 (7:46 pm) [edit] |
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Doctor's appt today. Opthamologist to check my retinas - something about granules in them and the stroke. (No clue what the heck the neurologist was talking about.) Packed my big bottle of water, charged my MP3 player and brought a fresh book. Ended up waiting for FIVE HOURS. Well, first 2 1/2 hours, then the nurse dialated my eyes, making it impossible to read or fiddle with the tunes or see anything. But there was this crazy woman sitting next to me, speaking in spanish (to me) endlessly. I thought she was just crazy woman talking to herself, but apparently she was under the impression that I 'habla espanol'. I said repeatedly "NO habla espanol". Apparently, to her, that counts as fluent in spanish. One would think with earphones on, that the other party (who is speaking spanish) would get the picture. But nooooooooooo. She just talked louder. I got up (to presumably go to the bathroom or start to seek sleeping arrangements for the evening) and relocated myself. Madame Espanol moves next to me again. The waiting room has seating for say 50 people - and there are plenty of spare seats but I was apparently the lucky one. Eventually, I get called back to see the dr. By this time, the dilation drugs are wearing off. I could focus enough to see that my eye doctor was pretty much a hottie. He was fascinated by my history and kept calling other doctors back to talk about my case. (Such a shame I was not girlified for the appt - I had come for comfort, not seduction.) I can't tell you if there was a ring on his finger or not - my eyes still couldn't focus that well. I'll let you know when I go back on Wednesday to see him. I *will* make a point of checking. He promised me that it would not be an all-day affair like today. As cute as he was, it was not worth the 5 hour wait. |
| 13 Comments |
| Sniveling Mess |
| 09.07.05 (6:37 pm) [edit] |
| Every day is getting worse. There's so much more going on than I've blogged about. The rape crisis center has an opening for an appt in 3 weeks. I can't hold on that long. I'm crying everywhere. I can't keep it together. I am not brave. I am not courageous. I'm a sniveling mess that sees utterly no hope and wishes I had the courage to jump in front of a bus. |
| 14 Comments |
| So much for that theory |
| 09.06.05 (1:49 pm) [edit] |
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The long weekend was a long one for me. I wish that I had something positive to report. I thought that (finally) reporting it to the police would be a good thing, that I would feel like I was reclaiming some of my power back. But I don't at all. In fact, I feel even worse. I have no dignity left. I can't even hold it together trying to talk to anyone. I am not strong. I am a complete mess. Sum it up to say that the detective that took the report (a supervisor), reaffirmed my apprehension about coming forward. He said that I was probably 'bitter from being spurned by him' and 'seeking revenge for the medical bills'. He kept asking me if I was sure I had never done "Rush" with "T" before - I don't know if it was part of law enforcement to make sure my story was consistent, but he made me feel like I had asked for it. I kept reiterating that it was in no way consensual. I had shared two kisses with the guy eight months prior - in public. That there had never been any sort of intimate contact between us. The detective wasn't interested in even getting my doctor's name or contact info because she had documented all the bruises, cuts and marks afterwards. Of course, he advised me that "T" would probably file a civil suit against me for defamation. Gee, thanks. The supervisor detective advised me that he would have someone follow up with me to 'fill in the blanks' and would speak to me before contacting "T". It was up to me if I wanted to pursue criminal charges but the complaint would remain on file permanently. I don't know what to do. I tried calling Airborne since he's someone who knows a lot about law enforcement - I was balling my eyes out. Has he returned my call? No. It's just more of a slap in the face. I just want to curl up in a fetal position and disappear. I just can't take any more of this. |
| 8 Comments |
| I did it. |
| 09.02.05 (1:15 pm) [edit] |
| I went to the police station and filed charges against "T" today. I thought it would make me feel better. It didn't. A lot to write but I'm not in the mood right now. I'll update it later. |
| 20 Comments |
| Sucking |
| 09.01.05 (7:51 am) [edit] |
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Yesterday, I was at a redlight where there was a young woman (20ish) waiting at the bus stop. I glanced over at her, and noticed that she was sucking her thumb like a 3yr. old. Seriously. I remember it was 'in' for sucking pacifiers by a certain group of people - which was bad enough (for a multitude of reasons), but one's thumb? I'm not a germ-a-phobe, but YUCK! Has this become the latest 'in' thing to do? Maybe she was pandering to guys with a little girl fetish? (Like that is any better?) |
| 15 Comments |
by Redonthehead