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| He's seen my boobs afterall! |
| 02.28.05 (1:05 pm) [edit] |
|
My next-door neighboor (the creepy one that's seen my boobs) has a moving van in front of his house. Well, let me correct that. He has a moving van that is blocking my driveway completely. And they claim the guy that has the keys to the 18wheeler has gone to do something. That was 3 hours ago. It's pouring down rain and I've got to park my car way down the street now and walk to my house. I don't buy the "they can't move the van". What if there was an emergency? The guy has seen my boobs. He should be bending over backwards for me. |
| 18 Comments |
| Hot Single Straight Guys |
| 02.27.05 (1:17 pm) [edit] |
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I'm invited to an "Oscars Party" tonight. Already sent my regrets that I wouldn't be attending. First of all, I only saw "The Aviator" (and thought it sucked). It's raining which guarantees a bad hair night. And let's be real blunt, how many hot single straight guys would actually be attending? If you could win an Academy Award or a Nobel Peace Prize - which would it be? (I'll post my thoughts in the comments section) |
| 11 Comments |
| Blindfolds |
| 02.27.05 (9:04 am) [edit] |
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I'm cranky. Why? Well, in addition to this ass that keeps calling me at 8:07am... My neighbor's dogs have been barking CONSTANTLY at night. I love animals (well, I don't "LOVE" love them). But after hours of constant barking, I'm ready to rip their vocal cords out or at least duct-tape their mouths shut. Plus another neighbor's floodlight is on lately - illuminating my bedroom. (Yes, I've shut the shades and even put up a blanket but it keeps falling down.) These neighbors don't speak english and I'm not quite sure if I could come up with a stick figure drawing to convey my problem. (* think they are Indian, but I'm not sure. All I know is their dog is a dalmatian that doesn't shut up and likes to pee on my mailbox.) My other neighbor has had contractors working on her deck for three weeks now. THREE WEEKS. Just about every day. We are not talking about some HUGE deck. It's maybe 12x12. It's like 2 feet off the ground. They are there banging and blaring their 70's rock at 8:30am yet again this morning. (Otherwise, I might have crawled back into bed and tried to get some more zzz's.) I guess I need to get earplugs and a blindfold. That way, it will drown out the hammering, music, dogs and phone calls. Plus I kinda dig blindfolds. ;) |
| 7 Comments |
| Pubic Service |
| 02.27.05 (8:55 am) [edit] |
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There is a mid-50ish man that I see every Sunday "race-walking" and he wears those dorky runners shorts. I feel the urge to do a public service and advise him 1) Race-walking is particularly unflattering on men 2) but not as unflattering as those shorts. And what is it with those big black watches that were "in" around 1984. Do they include one with ever pair of shorts? They seem to go together... I guess I can be thankful he's not wearing super-tight bike shorts and no shirt. (Ladies, have you ever been traumatized by that sight before?) He only does it on Sundays. And he's gone less than 15 mins before he passes back by. How much good can those 15s of exercise be??? *And yes, I know I titled this PUBIC service instead of public - got you to click, right? |
| 5 Comments |
| His Crotch |
| 02.27.05 (4:13 am) [edit] |
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Guess who I saw yesterday? A) The Mother B) My Hot Plumber C) Kilt Boy Yesterday was "catch up with people you haven't talked to in a long time". Spoke to ProducerBoy, my professional mentor (also one of my dearest friends), and the hottest thing to ever hit Tblog - SheSpecies. Then I talked to the person in charge of my friend who killed herself last April's estate. (Make sense?) They have a trial date in July and I 'should expect' to be contacted by the attorney to give a deposition and to testify at the trial. I just cannot believe her sons - men that she raised - could turn into such cold-hearted, greedy, puppets of their father. (Then again, their father IS one of the most dispicable men I have ever met.) As a side note, I had neurological testing on Thursday to hone in on my short-term memory problems. The psychiatrist testing me said that it had been YEARS since he tested anyone with more than a high school diploma. I was whizzing through the test when it came to questions like "Who is Marie Curie?" and defining 'SAT-type' words. Even had no problem with math. Then he showed me a series of 15 pictures. I'd look at one picture for 10 seconds, wait 15 seconds, then draw what I recalled. The first one was a circle, next one was a triangle, then a square. (I'm thinking "This is a piece of cake!") Needless to say, those were the only 3 I got right. I felt like a total fucktard. Of course, then I got lost trying to find my car. I was 'entertained' watching a young guy walk about with jeans whose crotch started below his knees. Does ANYONE find that even remotely sexy? Anyone? I think a plate of mashed potatoes has more brain capacity than I do. Maybe I'll start wearing my jeans like that too? |
| 3 Comments |
| My Bush |
| 02.23.05 (2:25 pm) [edit] |
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I woke up this morning and decided I absolutely HAD to trim my bush today. It has been neglected for waaaay to long and quite honestly, it's rather embarrassing. I probably should have let a professional do it, but I have this thing about strangers and my bush - I wanted it done MY way. Ya know? Anyway, got out all the tools and even donned my purple leather gloves. Sat down and started whacking. I must have looked like Edward Scissorhands, chopping like a madman. Then I took a step back to admire my work - omg - it looked horrible - uneven -scraggily even - it's going to take ages to grow out. And then what do I see? A snake slither out from under the bush. OMG I screamed - I'm sure the neighbors thought "what the hell is she up to now!" You do realize I'm talking about a boxwood bush in the front of my house you perv, don't you? So I decide to really get into things - so I sit down on the ground, I'm chopping away - then i see an ant on my leg - and look down and realize I'm pretty much covered in them! OMG I'm sitting on an ant nest! I jump up and almost tear off my clothes right there in the front yard - instead I grab the hose and douse myself (white shirt and all) in water. At that point, be dammed, my bush will have to suffer for a few more years before I do that again! Here's a pic of my bush afterwards: http://photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /General" title="http://photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /General" target="_blank"http://photobucket.com/albums...%20Pics/?action=view&curr ent=mybush.jpg |
| 30 Comments |
| Which one? |
| 02.23.05 (6:59 am) [edit] |
| If you could act on any tv show (past or present), which one would it be? What character would you like to play? Why? |
| 8 Comments |
| Jasons Deli Can Kiss My Ass |
| 02.22.05 (3:13 pm) [edit] |
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When we had our ice storm on Feb 5-6 and the power was out, I went up to Jason's Deli to get some chow to warm my innerds. (OMG! I'm sounding like my pal XairborneRTO!) I decided on some chicken chili that Sunday. Unfortunately, they forgot to remove the chicken bones from the chili and I chipped 2 of my lower front teeth. I addressed the issue with one of the managers, gave him the bone, and filled out some paperwork. He assured me that "Corporate" would call me in a day or two. I went to the dentist that Tuesday. Xrays and some preliminary filing was $133. He wouldn't be able to fix the chip until 2/21. Meanwhile, my tongue was being shredded from the sharp edges and I couldn't bite down on anything crunchy like a carrot, apple, etc. I gave Jason's Deli Corporate a week to get back with me. Not a peep from them. I called the local restaurant asking who I should follow up with at Corporate. My calls were not returned. So I tried calling Corporate on my own. Got passed around and eventually dumped in VM. No call back from them. Went to the dentist yesterday (as previously vented about). Cost another $428 to fix my teeth. (Not to mention two trips to the dentist, parking, etc.) This afternoon, I went back in person to the Jason's Deli. The same manager was there. His response was "Well, I passed it to Corporate, so it's out of my hands." I glared. I handed him the bills. I said "You will note a new phone number on there as well to contact me. I am out over $500." He took the paperwork and went into his office. Fifteen minutes later, he comes back and says "They have been trying to call you but your number has changed and they had no way to get in touch with you." I looked at him and said "Rather ironic as that number is still working until next week." He looked at me and said "Well, they will be getting back with you." I said "Who will be getting back with me? When will they be getting back with me? And what is their number?" He said "I gave you that information last time." I said "NO you didn't. All you gave me was a post-it note with the number here. You didn't even have a business card to give me." He replied "Oh." So this is my vent for Jason's Deli. Reminding you all what GREAT customer service they have and to watch what you eat there. |
| 18 Comments |
| My Vibrator Makes Me a Lawbreaker! |
| 02.22.05 (9:36 am) [edit] |
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WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Supreme Court rejected on Tuesday a constitutional challenge to an Alabama law that makes it a crime to sell sex toys. And I might add - artificial vaginas - am I the only one that thinks those are COMPLETELY hokey. Will anyone admit to using one - and say it was good? |
| 10 Comments |
| Astroglide |
| 02.22.05 (8:42 am) [edit] |
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Yesterday was quite an interesting day... First there was the dental debacle. Then my guy-friend came over to show me his new tattoo on his calf. (He's the one that laid the smooch on me.) Was nice catching up with him. There was a lot of flaking of skin on his new ink - blech. The tattoo was a dive flag with a skull & bones on his calf. He said it's important to keep it moisturized. Broke out some stuff that reminded me of Astroglide. I would have offered to rub it in, but I was creeped out with the shedding skin. Then the storms started. We had over 3 inches of rain in about 3 hours. And 2 inches of hail. Lightning ALL over the place. In the middle of the storm, my doorbell rings. It's a 17-ish Asian guy. His car is in my driveway. It has a local Chinese food delivery sign on top of the car. He says he has a flat tire and asked if I have a flashlight. I do but I'm not loaning my expensive flashlight to some stranger. (Granted, I didn't have any batteries in it anyway! LOL) I turned on my garage lights for him - a lot easier than trying to hold a flashlight while changing a tire. Had he offered me some free Chinese food in exchange for helping him, I would have gone out there and helped. Maybe. Granted, I haven't a clue how to change a tire. Hell, I can't even open the hood to my car. I am woman, hear me roar. LOL P.S. I realized my tattoo'd pal left his Astroglide here... |
| 10 Comments |
| Slurred and Drooled |
| 02.21.05 (4:55 pm) [edit] |
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Dentist this morning. He injected me with one shot and started drilling on my chipped tooth. I think he figured out by my legs flying up in the air that it wasn't enough. So he injected me a 2nd time. Still felt it. 3rd time. STILL felt it. After the 4th injection, I told him just to strap me down and go for it. But the 4th shot was the charm. He drilled away on me. Get your mind out of the gutter... So then my face was numb for the next 5 hours. I slurred and drooled. I'm so glad I had a date today too. LOL Don't try to put red lipstick on when your mouth is numb and you're not looking in the mirror. Trust me. ;) |
| 20 Comments |
| Like a Porn Star |
| 02.20.05 (4:17 pm) [edit] |
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In the interest of public service, I thought I would share my review of the performance evaluation of the Eureka "The Boss" SmartVacuum. First of all, I chose this model over a few other because I figured the black model would be more slimming. I like tha handle, it's quite comfortable. It would also be quite handy to hang something from. (I would not think a water bottle would be a wise choice!) It was rather lightweight and I thought the light on the front was bright. (Who vacuums in the dark???) When I turned the puppy on, I was impressed with how quiet it was. The cats did not scurry quite as fast as they did with the deceased vacuum. However, the little pedal doo-hickey thing you step on to let the vacuum push easier was hard as hell to get to work. Even with my tennis shoes on, it was a bitch to get it to release. I normally vacuum shoeless - and this would cause a problem. It sucked like a Hoover (bad analogy?). How about it sucked like a porn star? However, it didn't seem like it picked up everything - especially on hardwood floors. (It says on the box it's great on hardwoods too.) And, when you inadvertently run over your foot with the vacuum, it hurts like a MF. I guess that's another reason why one should wear shoes while operating. I don't think the Eureka "The Boss" Smart Vacuum is the vacuum for me. But I would like to thank Walmart for letting me take it for a test spin. Maybe I'll try the pretty orange one next week? I have reservations about that one because orange is not one of my colors - but they say that orange is this season's pink, so maybe I'll give it a shot. What do you think? |
| 21 Comments |
| What's UP? (ahem) |
| 02.20.05 (9:57 am) [edit] |
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I experienced QUITE a traumatic experience yesterday. I had nightmares about it last night. Woke up in a cold sweat. I have the image burnt into my brain... I ran into my local grocery store to pick up some food for the felines. The cat food is at the back end of the aisle - which is facing the magazine rack. I'm walking down the long aisle, noticing a rather colorfully-dressed guy engrossed in a magazine. He's mid-to-late 30's, rather tubby, wearing a dreadful Hawaiian-print shirt, and some sloppy black cargo pants. To sum him up in a word - geek. He's facing the magazine rack, but his back is sort of angled toward me. As I approach, I peek to see he's reading "Maxim" with Brooke Burke (I think) on the cover. Then I see it. OMG. He's got a woodie. A pup tent! In the MIDDLE OF THE F'ING GROCERY STORE! He sees me and the look on my face, hits the grocery cart, knocks over a display of paperback books and tries to block my view by facing the magazine rack head-on. I am not sure if my mouth was wide-open in shock or if just my mental jaw was dropped. I mean come-on. If you're gonna toss-off to a magazine, fine - but at least buy the thing and take it home - ya know? Lord help me. My mind went utterly blank when I saw 'it'. Other than "What's up?", I couldn't think of any clever quips to say to him. Suggestions? |
| 22 Comments |
| Shoot me NOW! |
| 02.18.05 (11:48 am) [edit] |
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Ugh. Just off the phone with the mother. (Deep collective sigh). She's hell-bent on a maternal encounter today. I ran interference yesterday to prolong the inevitable and today I have at least made a counter-offer of 'running by' her place instead of the full-blown maternal invasion scheduled. Expect a "How can I be related to this woman?" posting later... On a side note, I got my new Motorola V600 and I luv it. It plays "Tainted Love" when it rings. It makes me want to dance. So call me, call me often and let it ring a lot. hee hee |
| 16 Comments |
| RIP |
| 02.17.05 (8:41 am) [edit] |
| Done with "Wilson". Phone call this morning confirmed it. I promise never to mention him again. |
| 32 Comments |
| Choices |
| 02.15.05 (9:55 am) [edit] |
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Need your input. Should I: A) join a convent because I'm swearing off men? B) start adopting a lot of stray cats to become the local "crazy spinster cat lady"? Word of the day: KAPUT. |
| 34 Comments |
| What DO I DO??? |
| 02.12.05 (4:59 pm) [edit] |
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Okay. Wilson called. He's back from mountain biking and wants me to meet him at 8 for drinks. Now do I go casual chic in black jeans and slinky-ish top or do I dress in a skirt and heels (nothing too dressy)? It is Saturday night. And it is our first date. I'm thinking skirt. Thoughts? It's 6pm. You have an hour to decide for me. Okie dokie folks... Decided to go Diva-style. I'd rather be overdressed than underdressed. Black knit shirt - somewhat revealing v-neck with a knot-twist. Black skirt, an inch above the knee, flared with a light tan floral motif. Black stockings. 3inch black MaryJane pumps and a tan denim jacket. And if I do say so, I'm having a fabulous hair day. I'll give you an update in the morning. |
| 14 Comments |
| Sexual Confusion |
| 02.12.05 (3:37 pm) [edit] |
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I was flipping through some girly fashion magazine this afternoon when I read some catastrophic news... Feng-shui-ically speaking, lavender in the bedroom is BAD. It creates an energy of sexual confusion. Anyone want to guess what color my bedroom is? http://photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /General" title="http://photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /General" target="_blank"http://photobucket.com/albums...%20Pics/?action=view&curr ent=mybed.jpg Anyone wanna volunteer for paint duty? I have 16ft high cathedral ceilings in there. No guarantees that I won't immediately be cured of my sexual confusion, but maybe, just maybe, you'll be the benefactor of my confusion clearing up. (Doubtful, but the paint fumes might get the best of me!) I can now blame ALL of my dating dramas on the color of my bedroom! (Right?) |
| 19 Comments |
| Weekend Update |
| 02.11.05 (11:07 pm) [edit] |
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I had a very nice conversation this afternoon with "Wilson" - the guy I mentioned earlier. He owns a catering/special events company. And he's a very experienced chef. (I admit it, I googled him yesterday!) Stumbled upon pics of him with lots of celebs. (I hope he doesn't hang in those circles - it gets old and I hate the superficiality.) Initially, he said he'd like to get together next week. By the end of the convo, he asked if I was free tomorrow. He's supposed to go mountain biking with a friend, but he'd like to try to adjust things so he'd have the afternoon free. (I guess I impressed him eh?) "Wilson" said that he found himself re-reading my email and thinking about me often. (I admit, I went back and re-read his emails too!) He asked what I might like to do. I said as long as it didn't involve hanging out in bars (he said "thank god!") or involved me being cold, I was game for just about anything. "Wilson" said he liked to come up with creative things... I think I'm digging him more. |
| 13 Comments |
| First loves |
| 02.10.05 (10:11 pm) [edit] |
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If you could meet your "first love" or significant boyfriend/girlfriend from your high school or college days, would you? Do you think there's still that 'spark'? Do you think if you tried again, that it would work this time? And - have you ever google'd them or checked around to see if they are still single, etc? |
| 30 Comments |
| Strange-ass dreams |
| 02.10.05 (8:18 am) [edit] |
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Giving some blogging love to my pal Gambit. His posting on Tuesday was great. You should read it. Daily. But wait, don't click yet! I'll put the link at the end of this posting. Strange-ass dreams the past couple of nights. Tuesday night, I was back in high school, walking around, lost. Last night, I was on a cruise ship. I was there to work, but no one could tell me where my cabin was or who I was to report to. And there was a strange wedding going on at the same time - the bride was singing and she had a cast of hundreds of bridesmaids and groomsmen in sequin and feathered costumes. It rivaled a Vegas show from hell. Everyone that was sitting in the audience was saying "what the hell?". I thought it was inappropriate too, but said "it's her wedding and by gosh, she can do whatever she wants." But the groom was so dismayed at all the negative undercurrents, that he threw himself off the boat. Lots of people in the costumes were jumping in to save him. I saw the bride thru a window later and gave her a thumbs-up. Told her it was beautiful. She mouthed the words "Thank you" and had tears in her eyes. And I was wearing 5-inch black stilletto (hot looking, but impractical) pumps walking around and around the different levels of the cruise ship looking for my cabin and asking people where I should be. Seems to be a common theme that I'm trying to find my way, that I feel lost - which right now is very accurate. Okay. Continue on your day. But read gambit3131.tblog.com first. |
| 11 Comments |
| At the moment |
| 02.09.05 (10:59 pm) [edit] |
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I fell asleep around 4:30pm on the sofa. Awakened by the Non-Ranger calling (at a non-booty-call hour of 6:30pm!). Woke up at 9:15, pissed that I slept thru "Lost" - the one show that I actually like to watch. And I've been up ever since. Blech. Got an email from my friend "B" who has a guy he thinks I should meet. "B" told him 'all about me' and gave him my email address because he just knew we'd hit it off. Of course, I got this email from "B" AFTER I got the email from this guy. I almost deleted the email thinking it was spam... The guy is quite witty, owns an event planning/catering company (read: he's a chef). I'm just not really feeling like throwing myself out into the ubiquitious dating pool at the moment. Granted, in the morning, I may feel totally different about the situation. I am a woman afterall. :) |
| 19 Comments |
| Robitussin Ramblings |
| 02.09.05 (9:35 am) [edit] |
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I'm still flying high on Robitussin. Still coughing up a lung. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Date last night was really nice. We talked for ages. Totally lost track of time. Threw caution to the wind and exchanged germs with some nice smooching at the end of the evening. It's been a while since I had a toe-curling kiss with some passion like that. I need to come up with a pseudonym for him. I'm thinking... *side note. I ended up doing a google search for a new "C" boy name. Ended up at ivillage. They suggested names such as "Carmel", "Chervil" and "Charcoal". Seriously. I am not kidding. Who the hell would name their SON "Charcoal"? Unless you are a MAJOR BBQ fan - but wouldn't you want to name him after a super-deluxe grill or something? Anyway, I'm going to declare the bachelor from last night's name is "Chase." (Now if only I can remember it! I have to start dating guys with names that start with a letter other than "C" and guys named "Ned". I woke up with a zit on the end of my nose. What's up with that? LOL |
| 16 Comments |
| Back in the saddle |
| 02.08.05 (4:53 pm) [edit] |
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I was feeling pretty good this morning, so I called my 'tenative' date for tonight and told him I was feeling mucho better. It was nice to hear the enthusiasm in his voice. :) Now, as it's getting close to departure time, the hacking cough is back and I'm sniffly again. Of course, I'm out of Robotussin... Definitely NOT going to bail on him tonight. It's a birthday celebration! I think I'm going to high-tail it to the drugstore and get some more Robotussin and consider that my 'adult beverage' for the evening. I would hate to hack up a lung in the middle of dinner! Don't wait up for me! I have a feeling we're going to be out late. But I will stay away from lamp posts - I promise! :) |
| 4 Comments |
| Nosey? |
| 02.08.05 (7:17 am) [edit] |
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Laissez les bonnes temps roulee! (For those of your Frenchically-challenged, that means "Let the good times roll!) Happy Mardi Gras! My freshman year in college, I went to a small Jesuit school in Mobile, Alabama. (A place I'd actually rather forget.) However, it was cool that we were out of school for Mardi Gras and we were rather 'conveniently located' to New Orleans. Even better, one of my friends' father's law firm had a condo on Bourbon street that we could use for the long weekend. Can you say "Laissez les bonnes temps roulee?" We headed down to The Big Easy... Let's just sum it up as a colorful, bead-ful, intoxicating experience. My roomie lost her shoes, bra, and her jewelry during one of the parades - and how that happened was never exactly cleared up because she only spoke spanish when she got really drunk. The one rather *NOTABLE* adventure was when I 'kissed' a lamp post. (I didn't really kiss it, mind you, I do have standards!) I was pushed into the post by the crowds as folks were going mad for those damn beads. I was 'slightly' (ahem) under the influence of many hurricanes from Pat O'Hurley's and I didn't feel a thing. The next morning, I woke up, with blood all down my shirt. Two black eyes. And my face really hurt. I tried to put on my sunglasses but then I realized my nose was crooked! I called my mom and said "Mom, I think I broke my nose!" To which she replied, "Oh honey, I'm sure you just banged it." Then I mentioned about the sunglasses and how I had checked to see that they weren't out of whack, but my nose was. I flew home that afternoon and was having surgery by the next afternoon. So this Mardi Gras, be careful of the lamp posts you kiss. Unless you'd like a new nose. Compliments of insurance. P.S. I know someone is going to ask... I did NOT show my ta-ta's to get any beads. Momma raised me better than that. (It's gotta be sparkly and gold and at least 3 carats!) I am kidding!!! |
| 16 Comments |
| V.U.I. |
| 02.07.05 (4:12 pm) [edit] |
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I'm guilty of it. I admit it. Vacuuming Under the Influence of Robitussin. But it was only the Dirt Devil Dustbuster thing again. Yes. My entire house. I vacuumed it AGAIN using that thing. The room started spinning though when I was on my hands and knees. Friends don't let friends vacuum drunk on Robitussin. |
| 10 Comments |
| In a quandry |
| 02.07.05 (1:56 pm) [edit] |
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If you haven't read my earlier musings, I have a cold. No fever but snotty and coughing. Technically, I have a date tomorrow night. Last night I told said bachelor that I was getting over a case of the sniffles (underplaying it a bit). He said he was too and that he didn't mind. His birthday is later this week, so I consider it a priority to spend some time with him. Problem is, it would throw off the rest of my schedule for the week. I have plans with two other bachelors. 1) Do I go ahead with tomorrow's date? 2) Do I reschedule tomorrow's date? 3) Do I bump one of the other guys? (One I bailed on last Friday so I sorta feel obligated but really don't have a burning desire to see. The other one I do have a burning desire to see.) **And for the record, the afore-mentioned burning desire does not require antibiotics or any sort of topical ointments. |
| 16 Comments |
| BTW |
| 02.07.05 (11:30 am) [edit] |
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Guess who called me Saturday evening... No, not "Ned". No, not "Mr.Wrong Number from Black Planet" No, not "Mr. Easy Access" (although he did send me a txt msg...) Jen. The bipolar stripper former friend of mine. Haven't had any communication with her since April. She left some incoherent message on my answering machine about calling her back or not. I chose "not". Airborne called me too. That made me smile. :) |
| 4 Comments |
| The Plague |
| 02.07.05 (3:27 am) [edit] |
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Hi guys. I'm alive. Well, sorta. I came down with a case of the plague Saturday.(Compliments of my dentist who said he was getting over a cold either that or SheSpecies gave it to me over the phone) Been in bed ever since. Even missed going to my ex's annual Superbowl party. I'm quite the picture of beauty right now - sneezing, hacking, snotty, red-nosed and no voice. Did you know you can get high off Robitussin? But I can't taste anything. I think I'm going to drink another bottle and try to go back to sleep. P.S. Don't lick your computer screen reading this blog, I wouldn't want you to get sick! |
| 27 Comments |
| Taking a break |
| 02.04.05 (12:49 pm) [edit] |
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Folks - you're going to have to live without my debacles for a while. Some unexpected stuff has happened that makes me need to go into blogging hibernation. Be nice to each other and take care of each other. Diva |
| 11 Comments |
| Mr. Easy Access Forrver? |
| 02.03.05 (6:27 pm) [edit] |
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Dinner date tonight has been rescheduled until next week which is good because my rump is still hurtin'. I was awakened this morning at 1am by yet another booty call (Anyone want to guess who it was?). I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I'm going to crawl into bed shortly with a huge mug of decafe green tea (rich in flavinoids) and crash. ALL of my phone ringers are turned off so no one will wake my butt up tonight. And Mr.Easy Access sent me a text message a few mins ago. Apparently he still doesn't have a clue... His msg read "Where R U?" (Like we were supposed to meet tonight? or he's wanting me to hook up with him? BAH!) Hope everyone has a great weekend. And don't forget to hop over to Shespecies' blog shespecies.tblog.com and wish her a SUPER DUPER HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And give April some love too. godsmack.tblog.com Being a single mom with a kid doing a re-enactment of "The Exorcist" has to be a challenge. |
| 16 Comments |
| Date Update |
| 02.03.05 (9:34 am) [edit] |
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Quick update... Tomorrow I'm supposed to meet "Ned2" for lunch. Ironic because he has the same name as "Ned". "Ned2" is a firefighter. I met him a few weeks ago when I was in line at the grocery store. (I let him use my 'frequent shopper card' to get a discount and the conversation ensued from there). We were supposed to get together last week, but he got called on duty b/c of the impending ice storm. I wouldn't say I'm apprehensive about him, but he's just a little 'too eager'. Maybe it's nerves, I dunno... Anyone know of any serial killers that were firefighters? (giggle) |
| 19 Comments |
| Wrong Number |
| 02.02.05 (1:37 pm) [edit] |
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Last week (Friday night I think), I got a call around midnight from a number I didn't recognize. I didn't answer it. They didn't leave a msg on my machine. The next day, I dialed the number - partially out of curiosity b/c caller id read "Art Exhibit". Some guy answered and I said someone had called me rather late the previous night. He said it must have been a wrong number and hung up. Yesterday, that same number called again. Around 2pm. I decided to answer. The guy said "Hi, it's me from BP." I said "I think you have the wrong number." He said "Aren't you Leah? We talked on BP." I said "No, I'm not Leah. Maybe you misdialed." He read me back my phone number. I said "That's the number you're calling but there's no Leah here. Perhaps Leah gave you a wrong number on purpose. Sorry to say, but sometimes girls do that. Maybe you got played." He laughs and asks if I am ever on "Black Planet." (I am guessing it's a dating website/chat room.) I told him I wasn't and I hope he tracked Leah down and hung up. An hour later, he calls back and asks if I'd like to have dinner Friday night. I laugh and tell him that I'm married with 4 kids and I doubt my husband would approve. He hasn't called back since. I wonder why? LOL |
| 36 Comments |
| 3am Booty Calls |
| 02.02.05 (8:47 am) [edit] |
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2:48am Phone rings. Diva thinks to herself "If that is Mr.EasyAccess calling me at this hour, I am SO going to ream him in the morning." 3:01am Phone rings again. Diva thinks to herself "Someone is pretty f'ing desperate for a second booty call at this hour." 3:19am Diva starts thinking, "what if it's an emergency?" and goes downstairs to check caller id. It's the Non-Ranger. And he's left TWO messages on my answering machine. So I listen. Mesage 1: "Hi Diva, it's 'Non-Ranger'. I just got your message" (which I might add I called him like 3 weeks ago and he is attached to the hip with his cell phone so I find it HIGHLY improbable that he JUST got my message). "I'm still in California and wanted to touch base." Message 2: "Hi. It's me again. I guess it's kind of late. I'll talk to you later." Uh, Duh? |
| 8 Comments |
| Starving Pussy |
| 02.01.05 (4:12 pm) [edit] |
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My next-door neighbor (the married whore whose husband works on an oil rig and has a revolving door of men passing thru while he's gone) has a black cat named Onyx. Now this poor creature is the most pathetic thing you have ever seen. He's skinny as hell and has a yellow/blood red eye. Married whore goes out of town for days at a time and doesn't feed Onyx or perhaps leaves a bowl of food out for him, but he always shows up at my door. I feel sorry, so I feed him. My cats seem to be fascinated by him. I wonder if they pity him too. They watch him walk by the window but never howl or make any sort of acknowledgement. They have never met face to face or sniffed butts (what cats usually do - right?) Anyway, Onyx is sitting at my front door, howling like a fiend. Sometimes I am tempted to report him as abused, I wonder if it would be better for him to be put down. She never brings him inside her home, just leaves him to prowl the neighborhood. (And clearly he's not catching many tasty morsels judging by his size.) Yes, I've thought of mentioning to her that her cat is always over begging for food, but she's taken a swipe at my head with a broom before, so I think I'm going to pass on addressing it with her. Thoughts? |
| 34 Comments |
by Redonthehead