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| Unfaithful |
| 09.26.04 (9:52 am) [edit] |
|
"Ned's" plans to go wallowing around in the dirt (aka caving) fell through this weekend. So I invited him over for a home-cooked meal. I was strapped on time - 21/2 hours to tidy up the house, hit the farmers market, prep the food and make myself look adorable. (kidding!) |
| BAH! |
| 09.25.04 (2:10 pm) [edit] |
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I SWEAR my horoscope must say something like "Stay in bed today and pull the covers over your head!" 2) I bought another Get Well card for Airborne. Got home, and for the life of me, I don't know where it is. I tore the car and house apart. Dammit. Airborne, it's the thought that counts dammit. GRRRR. 3) I get the mail. There is a notice that a bench warrant is being issued for me in 10 days for a parking ticket from 8/02 for $250. I had parked in a handicapped parking spot (with a valid permit). However, the county cop decided to write me a ticket nonetheless. I took the permit and the ticket over to the Recorder's Court. I was given a receipt that I provided proof. (Good thing I kept it) So the letter says to fax proof to a particular number. That number is to a home improvement store. There is also a phone number to call for more information. That is to a global communications company and they assured me they have nothing to do with my county's parking tickets. Why am I not surprised at their ineptitude? I'm gonna go crawl into bed now. Maybe I should bring a bottle of tequila. Anyone wanna join me? |
| Undeliverable as Addressed |
| 09.24.04 (3:12 pm) [edit] |
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My pal xAirborneRTO.tblog.comwas in a bit of a fender-bender a few weeks ago. I sent him a get-well card via snail mail (gasp!) |
| Friends with Benefits vs F*** Buddies |
| 09.23.04 (5:47 pm) [edit] |
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This article was passed along to me and made me laugh so hard I was crying. Hope you enjoy... The link is at the end. But after we’d been buddies for about four months, one day when I tried to make an appointment for sex I was rewarded with an e-mail—or, rather, a she-mail—in which he resigned from buddydom. He wrote that sex was "sacred" and should be reserved for people who are in love rather than two friends "who happen to be physically attracted to each other and sleep together when they’re horny." He said he’d "hated" being a fuck buddy. I immediately took inventory to see if I’d broken any of the rules that come with being a buddy: Had I become needy? Did I ask him not to see other people? Did I ask him out on a date? No, no and hells, no. This was strictly a sublet-with-no-option-to- take-over-the-lease situation. So what had gone wrong? What kind of a guy turns down regular duty-free sex, and with me, no less (if you could see me, you’d understand). It occurred to me that maybe I was just terrible in bed, but I quickly suppressed that thought. And to preserve my enormous ego, I decided that this must be happening to everyone else. Indeed, a few months ago, when The Onion gave us the faux headline, "Fuck Buddy Becomes Fuck Fiancé," it raised a valid question: Where have all the fuckers gone? Have they all gotten married? I called Kyle Smith, author of Love Monkey, part of the fledgling "lad-lit" genre. "Fuck buddies are an urban legend," he said. "You never hear of them anymore." But you did hear about them in the 90’s. In 2000, Rutgers University released a study, Sex Without Strings, Relationships Without Rings, which concluded: "The mating culture for today’s twenty-somethings is not oriented to marriage, as it has been in times past, nor is it dedicated to romantic love. It requires no commitments beyond the sexual encounter itself, no ethical obligation beyond mutual consent." Whereas before, a woman might have settled for fuck-buddy status when the guy she was interested in wouldn’t commit, the new woman didn’t just take what she could get—she took what she wanted. She made no apologies about the fact that she wanted to be done—well done. The fuck buddy was the get-out-of-a-relationship -free card, a pussyport to no-strings-attached sex with unlimited rides. But as soon as the holy grail was within their meaty grasp, many guys found they’d rather keep their hands to themselves. For women, the fuck buddy beat the one-night stand, easy. "It’s more in a woman’s favor to have a regular sex buddy," said Emma Taylor, co-author of The Big Bang. "The guy gets to know your body and what gets you off. It’s hard for a woman to orgasm if she’s sleeping with a guy for the first time, whereas a guy almost always can." In other words, the "buddy" aspect is key. After all, friends don’t let friends not get off. On a recent Saturday night, I stopped by the bawdy saloon Coyote Ugly. "People have started calling me ‘Mansley,’" said a pretty 27-year-old blonde named Ansley, "because I’m more of a guy than the people I hook up with. Tell me, when did all the dudes freaking turn into chicks? For my last fuck buddy, I made sure I chose a total player—and yet, once he realized I was only in it for the sex, he lost it. He actually screamed at me, ‘Listen, I am not a piece of meat!’" A few stools down, a 25-year-old travel agent named Ashley was watching two beer maidens dry-hump each other on top of the bar. "God, they all turn out to be pussies these days, don’t they?" she sighed, before downing a shot of Goldschlager. "I was sleeping with this guy, Andy, on a regular basis, but then he started getting too, you know, needy. I’d try to leave afterward and he’d be like, ‘Why are you leaving? Don’t you like me?’ Or if I wouldn’t let him stay the night, he’d accuse me of trying to ‘sexile’ him. The night he promised to fold my laundry if I let him stay, I knew I had to cut him loose." Turning a guy into a fuck buddy isn’t as easy as one might think, as former porn star Candida Royalle discovered when she slept with an acquaintance. "I hadn’t made any bones about the fact that it was just sex, and we’d both had fun and thank you very much," she said. "Anyway, after I turned down his invitation to go out, he got so upset—he said he felt used and asked me how could I treat him like that and blah blah blah. I was shocked!" The fuck buddy has a less crude, more prude cousin: the "friend with benefits." F.W.B.’s are more socially acceptable. When questioned by reporters, actress Lindsay Lohan (she of the Disney movies) even used the term to describe her relationship with a reputed actor boyfriend Wilmer Valderamma. "A friend with benefits is a friend of yours that you occasionally mess around with," said Laura Leu, an assistant editor at Stuff. "The fuck buddy is just there for that reason; you’re not really friends with that person." Scott Mebus, 29-year-old author of Booty Nomad, said: "Fuck buddies are more planned. ‘Friends with benefits’ just happens—like you help her move in, and then you’re both sitting on a box with a glass of wine and you end up sleeping together." Of course, some insist that, by any name, neither situation is feasible. "You can’t keep emotion out of repeated sex, you can only keep it at bay," said Matt Miller, a 28-year-old money-market manager. "One party always wants it to be more, and this is where animosity comes into it. The girl or guy who wants more—relationship, sober conversation, etc.—keeps f-ing the other party, liking and hating him/her at the same time." "This one girl I knew asked if we could be friends with benefits—it sounds so sweet and innocent, doesn’t it?" said Daniel Isquith, who teaches high-school calculus on the Upper West Side. "But two weeks in, I was getting nightly phone calls ‘just to say hey,’ and I finally ended it when she vandalized my apartment because I didn’t invite her out with our friends one night." This is where the F.B. triumphs over the F.W.B. An F.B. can grab an Amstel and the leftover lo mein out of your fridge, but there’s no going out for drinks or dinner or hanging out with mutual friends. (Hopefully there are no mutual friends.) F.B.’s know that snuggling should be reserved for couples in relationships and teddy bears in fabric-softener commercials. There is an implicit "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy and no date-y scenarios. Unlike with F.W.B.’s, you’re never privy to the other person’s extracurricular activities and, thus, not upset by them. The F.B. knows that when an F.W.B. sees their "friend" about to "benefit" from someone else, gauntlets will be thrown, usually along with a drink. And yet: "I don’t know any guy who wants to have a fuck buddy," said Mr. Mebus. "Everything about it supports the female. Guys are looking for variety and women are the ones who want a relationship, and being a fuck buddy is a relationship, whether you want to call it that or not." Why are men shying away from string-free shagging? A guy wants to believe that a woman isn’t really into casual sex as a general rule, according to Ms. Taylor, but that she’s making an exception just for him. "When the woman is just as excited about it as the man, he no longer has the feeling that he’s getting away with something," she said. "Men enjoy being hunters," said Mr. Smith. "If we don’t get the feeling that we’re the lion peering through the grass ready to pounce, we tend to, uh, not." But are they hunting—or just afraid of being hunted? "The gender script between men and women has changed," said Dr. Anke A. Ehrhardt, professor of medical psychology at Columbia University. "What we hear in our newer masculinity studies is that men are not quite sure what the rules are, or what is the norm in 2004. Men say, ‘I know that women now want to be the initiator, but when it happens, it really turns me off.’ So there comes this insecurity and misunderstanding." "Hypersexual girls kinda scare me," said Dan Madigan, a 21-year-old college student. "It sounds good in theory: What self-respecting dude wouldn’t jump at the chance of no-strings sex? But when it’s thrown right in your face, it can be pretty off-putting. When a guy is on offense, he’s only trying to please himself—pillage, conquer, etc. But when the female makes it abundantly clear that she too wants some romping good fun, then suddenly the possibility that we can’t provide is readily in our faces. An aggressive girl suggests two things: sexual experience and a demand to be pleased herself. These things are terribly frightening to a guy. Why do you think we all love 16-year-olds? "Get this," he continued: "The last girl I had sex with told me ahead of time that she would only sleep over on the condition that I set the alarm clock for 9 a.m. on a Sunday morning, because she had a ton of stuff to do the next day. I thought she was kidding—until we both woke up the next morning for a little morning sex, and, within two minutes of completion, she had her clothes on and was out the door. No breakfast, no cuddling, no nothing. Needless to say, that was the last time we slept together." But are women hopping out of bed so abruptly because, when they lingered in the past, they ended up getting burned? "When guys include cuddling and pillow talk in the casual sex, women are often left wondering why the guy didn’t call," said Lorelei Sharkey, the co-author of The Big Bang. "If you know it’s just going to be sex, it’s easier on women to keep out the niceties." Laura Strunk, a 26-year-old self-described "sexy female extraordinaire" who is a legal aid, agreed: "It seems as if there has been a movement of girls just wanting to use guys for sex, because we don’t want to deal with all the emotional-baggage crap—we can get that from our girlfriends. Guys seem to be taken aback by the bluntness of it all and then withdraw—literally. So it’s back to the vibrator." "It’s a pride issue," added Ms. Sharkey. "The fact that the woman still just wants you for your body a month into it and doesn’t want you as a partner—it’s gotta be a blow to the ego." "A guy’s gotta get the hell out before he gets his ass kicked," said Mr. Mebus, who admitted that he once bailed out on a fuck buddy when he started developing feelings for her. "Even emotionally well-rounded guys are not equipped to deal with that stuff. We’re meant to build things." "It just goes to prove how utterly fucked up the male sex is," said 62-year-old Erica Jong, the author of Fear of Flying. "Men are trying to protect themselves from being hurt, and in a way, women are, too—protecting themselves from being hurt by taking on the male mannerisms. Our society is in the midst of change; people don’t know what their roles ought to be, and they’re making it up as they go along. It’s God’s little joke on the human race." The other day at a party, I ran into my former fuck buddy, who confessed he’s now dating a 21-year-old virgin who lives in Michigan. "I just think it runs its course after a while, and after the excitement and novelty of a new sexual partner wears off, it just becomes about the sex, and there’s something depressingly reductive about that to me," he said with a sigh. "But then there’s this side of me that feels really horny all the time and, to quote a man much wiser than myself, just wants to get drunk and screw." As Mr. Isquith pointed out: "‘Friends with benefits’ is a great idea, but so was communism." http://observer.com/pages/world.asp" title="http://observer.com/pages/world.asp" target="_blank"http://observer.com/pages/wor... |
| Would you? |
| 09.23.04 (11:01 am) [edit] |
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Wondering... Considering how the success rate is on marriage and relationships on our own choices, how would your parents do on arranging a suitor? Would you trust their judgment? What about your closest friends? If not, do you think you know yourself better than they do, or perhaps your own objectvity is skewed? |
| Update on "Ned" |
| 09.23.04 (10:22 am) [edit] |
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Forgot to update folks... Talked to "Ned" yesterday afternoon. He was working a paper for school (finishing up a biz degree). I offered to help (being as I am the grammar and spelling diva). Invitation was extended to me to pop over to his place for a visit while he worked on his paper. (Doesn't really count as a 'date' in my book, but seeing a guy 3x in a week - and he hasn't raised red flags yet is a record I think!) Overall, his apartment was ok. He had carpet (unlike pizza delivery guy), some furniture (unlike pizza delivery guy), and I wasn't afraid to be left alone in fear of unidentifiable varmits attacking me (unlike Van Halen guy). Although, the anal cleaner that I am was chomping at the bit. Cluttered with IT stuff all over the place. (Not horrribly so.) There were a bunch of plastic 'totes' in his place. Hiking and computer gear I'm guessing (I would never snoop!) But it also might store the bodies of former gf's too. (However, I don't think those would be odor-proof!) He laughed about it saying I could let loose if I wanted to. (But I will not get in the habit of cleaning a guy's place - uh uh!) I got a glance of his bathroom - doesn't have more styling/bathroom products than I do (unlike Van Halen guy) - that's just f'ing crazy!!! Perused his books. Good variety. Of course lots of those huge techie books with all the letters of the alphabet which we mere mortals are clueless about. But a good collection of others - The Illiad, Dante, Hemingway, Ayn Rand... I like the cerebral side of him. Hung out for a while. He's going to Chattanooga tomorrow for the weekend to go hike and crawl in mud and do manly sorts of things with nature, so I'm on my own. (Debating if I want to go out with anyone else this weekend for a distraction...) Anyhoo, that's the scoop. |
| One Pieces are Back IN! |
| 09.22.04 (12:09 pm) [edit] |
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MILFORD, Conn. (AP) - A New Haven man returned to the Milford courtroom where he mooned the judge and this time he left with 6 months more prison time. |
| Date Recap |
| 09.21.04 (11:15 am) [edit] |
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Ok. Date recap last night with "Ned"... |
| Worse than I thought... |
| 09.21.04 (11:01 am) [edit] |
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Back from the doctor. I have a broken toe and a break in my foot. Dr wanted to cast it. I negotiated out of the cast and agreed to 'buddy tape' my toes and wear my "robo-boot' from my ankle injuries. The Dr. wanted to give me a 'scrip for Tylenol 3 for pain. I laughed - it's a f'ing broken toe. |
| I hiked my skirt up! |
| 09.18.04 (8:36 pm) [edit] |
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After last night's date, I was concerned I'd be 'outdated' with another one this afternoon... Through a round-about circle of events, a friend gave me 'Ned's' contact info. We had a few emails, a few convo's and thought we'd meet in person. On Thursday, he suggested we meet today for lunch... Fast forward to Saturday morning. I'm running some errands. Not a peep from 'Ned'. Figure his concept of lunch and mine are different. Just about then, he calls around 12:30. He apologized, that he had overslept. So we finalize the when/where. He is running late for lunch. He calls and says he has quite an adventure to tell me. I've seen his picture already, so there were no major surprises - he has nice blue eyes. Overall 6.89 (had he worked on the outfit, I'd bump him to maybe a 7.3) We get seated and start talking. Turns out they turned the water off to his apt complex to do some work. He had to shave using bottled water. (How sweet that he went to that effort) Conversation was good. He's somewhat introverted. Somewhat soft-spoken but not overly so. There's a sort of quiet strength to him. He was sweet to offer to get files and stuff from my laptop (that 3 other offers had failed to follow up on) So we decide to go on the walk. There's a park not far from where we were that has a nice hiking trail. We head over there. I put my shorts on under my skirt, take off the skirt, hop in my tevas and switch shirts. (He was gentlemanly enough to turn his back). Off we go. I have a broken big toe. I realize that if walking on flat ground is painful, uneven elevated ground would not be better. I was screaming on the inside about the shooting pain, but I am a trooper. We talked about a variety of things and the hike took about 2 hours. He said he'd like to get together sometime next week, I said that was cool. He was a perfect gentleman (Damn! I am kidding!). I feel comfortable with him but I just don't know if his more introverted self would mesh well with me. I'll see him again and ponder it further... Tonight, I've been keeping my toe up, on ice, with pain meds running thru my veins. (Kinda like my poor pal Airborne...) |
| Low-down on the date |
| 09.18.04 (7:28 am) [edit] |
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I think I forgot to mention - my date last night - to Van Halen was with Mr. Overnight Bag! He called me Thursday afternoon, asking if I wanted to go, that he had sent me an email earlier in the week with the invite. (Gotta love Hotmail lately!) I knew there wasn't anyone else that he had to go with, so I agreed... The show time on the ticket for the concert said 7:30. He said he'd pick me up at 5pm so we could have dinner first. (It's a 20 min drive MAX to the venue.) I told him that VH wouldn't go on stage until 8:30 - 9pm. He said, "No, there's no opening band. They go on at 7:30." (Not that I've been in the music biz at all and seen hundreds of shows, but NO headliner goes on at 7:30. Unless there's a 2nd show) But, he's the one that coughed up $250 for the 2 tix... He shows up at my house in his new van. It's 4:45. The van isn't new really, it looks okay but it REEKED of mildew.... I don't know how he can stand to ride in it. So, it's 6:30 and we're done with dinner and were asked to move on b/c there is a lot of folks waiting to be seated. So we walk around for a little bit to be harrassed by ticket scalpers and urban outdoorsmen (who won't accept food but cash only as I witnessed someone handing out sandwiches - but I digress). At the venue, we go thru a body cavity search (I exaggerate a bit) and start to find out seats. I happened to notice that it said "ENTER PORTAL 7". He points to Portal 9 and says we need to enter here. I commented on the Portal 7. He said he knew what he was doing. Needless to say, after hiking down all the stairs, we were sent back up and told to go to Portal 7. *Did I mention my broken toe is throbbing and numb simultaneously? Seats are actually good. I've already blogged about the show. There was very little PDA from him - occasionally, he'd put his arm around my shoulder - as it was more of a guiding me around some crowds. Otherwise, not a bit. (Not complaining, mind you) Then he tried to get home. (Remember, I said we were 20 mins from the venue?) He got lost. And lost in an area where you don't exactly want to get lost in downtown Atlanta. Fortunately, I was on the phone with XAirborneRTO while we were driving around - he would have protected me - he would have yelled at anyone thru my cellphone and scared them away (ha ha) I was just checking in with him to hear how his doctor's appt went. It took an hour to get home - nothing to do with post-concert traffic. He said he knew where he was going. I was hoping I wasn't ingesting any fatal particles in the Mildew-Mobile... Then Mr. Overnight Bag wanted the 411 on Airborne. How do you know him? (From diving) Where does he live? (South Carolina) Is he married? (No) Who is he dating? (No one that I'm aware of) What's the deal with you two? (What do you mean?) Well, is there something between you two? (He's in South Carolina, I'm here, he's recuperating from some really bad things and I'm trying to keep his spirits up. Besides, he prefers 6ft tall Blonde Amazons.) Got to my house. I thanked him for dinner and the show. He offered to help me do stuff around the house if I needed it and he'd give me a call during the week. Barely a brush of a kiss on the cheek and he was gone. Kind of a change of pace from bringing an overnight bag over - don't ya think? LOL |
| Van Halen & Me |
| 09.17.04 (10:12 pm) [edit] |
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Well, well, well. I'm back from my evening with "Overnight Bag Boy" and Van Halen... The seats were great (at $100 a ticket - they damn well better have been!) The opening band (no clue on their name) was so cliche. The lead singer was in a black wife beater and jeans - loooooong hair. I kept thinking that he wouldn't look so short on stage if he cut his hair some. The sound sucked and I was distracted. I started counting the mullets I saw... There were two 'gentlemen' sitting to my left. When the house lights went down, they lit up a joint. These guys were high-fiving and slamming down beers. They could not stand up without swaying. I got elbowed in my boobs many times and even got an elbow in my eye. (Not sure if I'll have a shiner tomorrow) They opened with "JUMP" - which, I'm sorry, but David Lee Roth just made that song his own. Then I saw Eddie. Poor Eddie. I kept thinking - 'give the poor boy a sandwich'. He was skin and bones. Although he was hopping/running all over the stage - the poor guy needed to be plumped up. A lot of very long guitar solos - and, they were rather sloppy. Michael Anthony looks EXACTLY the same as 25 years ago. I'm thinking "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" would be perfecto for him. Imagine what they could do with him!!! Sammy looked the same. He's the epitome of a 'cool rock star'. However, the dude was spending more time autographing shit than he was singing. ENOUGH! Total Mullet count 37. |
| Simplicity |
| 09.17.04 (8:54 am) [edit] |
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I survived Hurricane Ivan. Had over 2 1/2 inches of rain in 30 minutes at one point. Total 10+ inches of rain. Leaks in roof are horrible (except the one over the front door that I fixed myself ;) Thanks to everyone's well-wishes. Wanted to share something really cool I noticed this morning... I'm sitting in my home office on the 2nd story. I noticed a spider web, about a foot across, spanning from the side of my house to a riverbirch tree. It's glistening with raindrops. Amazing that something so delicate can survive 50+mph winds, horizontal pelting rain, and remain completely intact. *No word on the spider of course! (I tried taking a pic but it just doesn't come out - I need Chicalotke to get out here with a ladder to get a better shot!) |
| Ivan Update |
| 09.16.04 (3:26 pm) [edit] |
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Sitting here watching 3 extremely tall and skinny pine trees bending with the 50+mph wind gusts. They are my neighbor's trees - moving left and right (not toward my house). I am still half-expecting for them to snap and fall on my house. The leak in my master bathroom is absolutely soaking my sheetrock). Thanks to Fernando the roofer for finishing the job. (NOT!) Hard rain. Intermittent times when you can't see outside at all. Sheets of rain are rather cool. Have had 5+ inches of rain since 8am - saying at least 5 more inches to go. Power is still (obviously) on but it's going out all over the place. Bunch of trees falling on cars - think I've heard of 6 incidents in the past two hours. Couple people have died as a result. :( However, my postal carrier just came by to drop off my mail. I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow to get it. Snaps to her for delivering my junk mail with such dedication! Meanwhile, one cat is snoring thru this. The other is watching the trees bend back and forth in the rain... To be feline and clueless ;) |
| Blowjob anyone? |
| 09.16.04 (10:51 am) [edit] |
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Yet again I made you click you people with dirty minds!!! I'm getting a heckuva blowjob right now. Here in Atlanta, we are starting to get the wrath of Ivan - hard rain and strong winds. Hope I don't blow away. (And hope my power/internet access doesn't go out for three or four days!!!) Going to see Van Geezer Halen tomorrow night. Do I want to go? Not really. I think it's kinda sad to see those guys hobbling around on stage. I woulda loved to have seen them play 20 years ago when Guns & Roses opened for them (sigh). When I was in 'the music biz' 10 years ago, I had the oppty to be in Eddie Van Halen's dressing room after the show. he was in a peach towel. Had it been 1984, and I was a pre-teen, I woulda so totally dug it. However, in 1994, he didn't look so drool-worthy... |
| Quickie |
| 09.16.04 (8:28 am) [edit] |
| What's your homepage? |
| Geezer Day |
| 09.15.04 (3:10 pm) [edit] |
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While making a trip to the hardware store to get more gook for Fernando the roofer, I decided to run into my local grocery store for some spinach and kitty litter. (Not spinach-flavored kitty litter mind you!) I forgot... Sure sign it's Geezer Day: *Mind you, I'm carrying a 25lb bag of kitty litter this entire time. If they have Geezer day, I believe that they should also have a day for a Geezer-Free day. I'd pay 5% extra for that. |
| Diva vs. Ants Part Four |
| 09.14.04 (10:34 am) [edit] |
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I headed out to the backyard to pick more tomatoes from my garden when I stumbled upon yet ANOTHER f'ing ant hill. This one is 3x bigger than the last two. So I break out the "guaranteed to kill all your ants in a week" crap that obviously doesn't work more than relocate the ants to another spot in my yard to kill whatever remaining grass I have left stuff. It says to apply 3-5 tablespoons. What if I apply 3-5 cups instead? Remember that story I posted about the people burning down their house because of the bees? I think I understand. I thought they were nuts but I am seeing the light. I'm thinking a flamethrower might be the next move. With my luck, I would burn down the house, and what would be left? The anthill, of course. |
| Spanish, Murder, Feathers, and Guilt |
| 09.14.04 (8:39 am) [edit] |
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When the storm formerly known as Hurricane Frances blew through Atlanta on Labor Day evening, several leaks appeared from my roof. (Joys of home ownership - bah!) |
| Former Friends |
| 09.13.04 (3:46 pm) [edit] |
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I had a friend, who we'll call "Mo", who I ended our friendship with almost 2 years ago. I am a giving person to people that I care about, but when it's clear that it's seriously off-kilter, I opt to eliminate those folks from my circle. Mo was going to Chicago 3 or 4 years ago and didn't have a good coat. I loaned her my leather trenchcoat for the trip. When I asked for it back when I was going on a business trip, Mo has 2 cats. She traveled at least 6x a year to Florida to visit her family and I'd care for her cats each time. Over 4 years. Once - I asked her to look after my cats for a week. She fed them ONCE in 7 days. My coat was one thing - but my cats!?!? You don't F*** with my cats. After that, I realized, I didn't need her in my life. I told her so. She said I was overreacting. The balance in the friendship was WAY off-kilter - as there were many little incidents as well. My theory on friendship is that if I can't rely on you when the chips are down, why bother if you are sucking me dry? However, she keeps sending me emails. I got another one from her today. I've tried being polite yet curt, offering one or two word answers to her questions. Should I ignore it? Reply again with brief answers? Or tell her I don't feel the need to continue any further communication? (There is no chance in hell I would ever let her into my life again...) |
| Another one for the books |
| 09.12.04 (10:43 pm) [edit] |
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Tonight I met the man that a friend thought I'd enjoy. Again - my friend started off describing "Marshall" as "45, good shape, has a hot tub and well-hung". My reply was "Do you really think that's what is important to me?" However, I respect my friend's perceptive comments, so I thought I'd give him a chance... "Marshall" and I exchanged a few emails. They were amusing, he could spell and use proper grammar, and didn't start off with telling me how he's going to boink me until the cows come home. So we progress to a phone call. I didn't feel any sort of "ZING!" when we spoke, but again, considering my friend's recommendat ion, knowledge of me, and the fairly entertaining exchange via email, I decided to meet him for a drink tonight. However, he IS considerably older than my preference and he looks like someone I know that I despise. He insists on sitting side by side in the booth at the restaurant. It was difficult to make eye contact and talk that way. (Smarter move would have been sitting at a table or one of the round booths..) He orders a bottle of wine and some spicy shrimp appetizer. Doesn't ask me if I want anything. He offers me one of the 4. (how generous.) I say that I didn't get dinner before, so I was going to order a soup or something. He said that he guessed he'd pay for it. (HUH?) I told him not to worry, that I could pay for my soup. The conversation was SO boring. I was literally stifling yawns. Wishing I had set up an emergency escape call... He doesn't look 45. Closer to 60. He 'confesses' about 1/2 way through our meeting that he's actually 51. (I still say 58 minimum). Bottom line, he lied. (He said in his email to me that he's 48.) And his justification didn't hold water - said women constantly screen him out online because he's over 50. Um, I didn't meet him online and he typed it clearly in his email... He talked about his ex-wife constantly - although her referred to her each time as his 'wife'. About how they became 'swingers' to spice up their marriage. Yes, he was (and I'm guessing still is) into swinging. EWWWW. I chuckled. That was not only strike three, but the end of the series. Not to sound snobbish but I'm 20 years younger than him... Who the hell does he think he is??? He asked me what my thoughts were regarding him. I told him that I was just soaking things in and thinking. That I liked to reflect and 'digest' things. (I didn't want to tell him I'd rather poke my eyes out with the fork in front of me than see him again. Rather do it by email rather than cause a scene.) So he offers to follow me home. I tell him I can manage just fine. (I had 1/2 a glass of wine.) He said "You just don't want me to know where you live." I said "Yes." Did I mention I got the number of the really hot waiter that served us?
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| Drama Drama Drama |
| 09.12.04 (10:08 am) [edit] |
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I hate drama. I have a male friend - we'll call him "Marvin". Never dated him, he's TOTALLY not my type. We had lunch once and failed to mention he has had a girlfriend for about 8 months. Unknowingly, I was put in the middle of a pseudo-love-triangle. His gf IM'd me and confronted me about it. She was more forgiving of him than I was. He and I talk maybe 1-2x a week since then at most. Her nickname is "Sunshine" (although I think PSYCHO is more fitting)... Marvin and sunshine had an engagement party over Labor Day weekend. I was invited but opted not to go. I sent a congratulatory card to both of them. Marvin acknowledged it. She did not. I offered her suggestions of where to shop to get 'the perfect outfit'. Last night, I got the following IM from her - totally unprovoked - outta the blue: i guess you aren't here, but i'm going to make a request.... i'd appreciate if you would not keep talking to my boyfriend... you stated that he would not ever be someone you considered part of your "trusted circle" and you obviously only want to talk to him for what you can gain out of it....he's been nice and not told you to leave him the fuck alone, but i'm saying it now.... leave him alone I opted to bite my tongue and ignore it. He's a big enough boy to say it to me directly if that was the case. This morning, she IM'd me using his account saying that "He" was behind her last night when she typed the message to me. I replied that I knew it was not Marvin typing the message. And POOF! immediately "marvin" logged off. BUSTED! I cannot believe someone can be so insecure. This guy adores her but clearly she's not playing with a full deck. I'm skimming over a lot but I'm waiting until tomorrow to talk to him - he needs to know what's going on but I'm exiting stage left afterwards. Too much drama for me. |
| Take your wrapping paper and ... |
| 09.11.04 (5:22 pm) [edit] |
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I hope someone with school-age kids can enlighten me on this... |
| For you conspiracy theorists |
| 09.10.04 (1:36 pm) [edit] |
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For you conspiracy theorists, chew on this for a while.... |
| Overnight bag? |
| 09.08.04 (9:52 am) [edit] |
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I had a date come over to 'fix' me dinner Monday night. He said he was a 'great cook' and since my toe was the size of Texas and hurt to walk, and a monsoon was approaching, I figured ok. He'd cook something 'fabulous' and we'd watch a movie. Apparently "great cook" in guyspeak means putting a chicken breast in some bottled marinade and a bag of prepared greens and dressing. (If the meal isn't burnt, it equates to a 'great meal'???) So, then I let him choose a movie. Now I have a pretty extensive DVD collection - well over 200 flicks. What does he choose? Tootsie. (Is this guy straight???) This guy and I have had 3 dates - one smooch that was not exactly toe-curling. (4.5 on a scale of 1-10). He goes out to his car after the movie and he brings an OVERNIGHT bag! Ok - first of all, I gave him ZERO indication of things progressing to the point of him getting lucky. And even more so to spend the night? And to bring an overnight bag? Um, hello? I didn't even want to ask if he had his granimal jammies in there... At that point I laughed and sent his ass home. I felt bad that it was pouring down rain - sideways - and winds of like 50mph, but he pissed me off big time. An overnight bag? WTF! |
| Blow Job |
| 09.06.04 (7:32 am) [edit] |
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(ha ha - made you click!) I'm all the way up in Atlanta - and it is REALLY windy here - been that way since yesterday morning. Amazing to think Hurricane/Tropical Storm Frances is blowing that strong up here! |
| Majorly Sucky Night |
| 09.04.04 (9:21 pm) [edit] |
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I was supposed to have a date this evening. He picked me up at 9:45, and he popped his knee in the parking lot. We spent the next 45 mins in his car while he was in agony. I was home by 11pm so he could get on the TENS unit. He refuses to do what the dr's tell him to care for his knee - so he gets what he gets. I spent more time picking out what to wear and getting ready than I actually did with him. He asked if I was free on Monday. (Um, not a chance in Hell.) ALSO - The hot plumber called me FOUR more times yesterday. He has been wanting to share MORE of his 'poetry' and get feedback. (I'd rather suck a sump pump). So, he left several of the poems on my voicemail. Soooooooooooooooo Pathetic. Do I tell him that they suck? Call me silly, but reading sappy juvenile love poems to a girl that is not your gf is dumb. GRRRRRRRRRRR. |
| Big RAT |
| 09.04.04 (7:33 pm) [edit] |
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I called my felines in from the fenced back yard at 9pm. Sassy, my black cat, wouldn't come in. Which is unusual for her. I went out and saw her staring at the fence - looking towards the top of it. Shined my flashlight on it - and THE POSSUM is back! The ugly oversized rat just sat there and stared at me. Got the hose out and blasted the fucker. We'll see if he comes back again. |
| Big Mistake |
| 09.03.04 (6:37 pm) [edit] |
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Oh joy. The hot plumber called. And now he has me on the phone with his 6 year old daughter. I'm not very good at conversing with tricycle motors. I knew I shouldn't have answered the phone... And what is so f'ing annoying is that he calls from his cell phone that has NO signal in his home. You all know how ANNOYING it is when you hear 15% of a phone conversation and try to decipher the rest. (I thought he said "my hand on your breast" but I somehow doubt that since his daughter was in the room.) And Kilt Boy called - wanted me to come over for 'company'. He's such a tool. I told him that I had plans. I'd rather catch up on my ironing and file my belly button lint than pop over to his place... Why can't people just say what's on their mind? Like "I want you to come over so I can boink you - or at least TRY to get in your pants"? Anyhoo, decided to take a break from the male species tonight. Have dates for the rest of the weekend. Plus a friend wants to set me up - I'm rather wary - but he is pretty perceptive about me. So that one is up in the air... |
| Hi Mom, Meet my Girlfriend... |
| 09.01.04 (12:15 pm) [edit] |
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This is just plain sad...
The 38-year-old man was caught with his trousers down early Monday evening after alarmed witnesses alerted the police. "It was real, he was caught in mid-action with the doll," said a press spokeswoman. Police said that they had considerable difficulty separating the drunken man from his partner. |
by Redonthehead