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| Sexercycle? |
| 06.30.04 (9:19 pm) [edit] |
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[b][i]Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee once broke into the hotel gym and had sex on an exercise bike — and the whole thing was caught on a security camera. [/i][/b] (from MSNBC) Not that I am picturing the two of them, but from a [u]logistical standpoint[/u], how the hell did they manage that??? |
| 15 Comments |
| Seduction |
| 06.30.04 (2:14 pm) [edit] |
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[b]se·duce ( P ) Pronunciation Key (s-ds, -dys) tr.v. se·duced, se·duc·ing, se·duc·es To lead away from duty, accepted principles, or proper conduct. To induce to engage in sex. To entice or beguile into a desired state or position. To win over; attract. [/b] What does it take to seduce you? And what are your 'sure-fire' ways to seduce someone? And what bombed for you? (Saint - this means what panty-dropping techniques didn't work;) |
| 26 Comments |
| Relationship Advice |
| 06.30.04 (10:32 am) [edit] |
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I have a friend that's 10 years younger than me. We banter back and forth about a lot of stuff. She's been thru a rollercoaster of relationships in the past year and finally found an amazing guy. It seems like they complement each other and have a great foundation. The kicker is, she's asking ME for relationship advice. People do that all the time - I don't get it. I'm not exactly the primo example of relationships. It's kind of like asking me how to fix a car. I can't open my own hood... Yet, I seem to give pretty good advice on relationships. [b]Why is it that we can see so clearly perspective in other people's relationships but can't see squat about our own?[/b] |
| 15 Comments |
| Drunken Diva Beer Formula |
| 06.30.04 (6:05 am) [edit] |
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[i][b]Okay. I get a buzz after 1/2 a 6% beer and tipsy after 1 1/2 6% beers. I'm toast at 3-4 (depend on if I've eaten). So what will my new drunk-factor be with the increased alcohol percentage?If I can find some bottled versions of the new beer this weekend, maybe I'll do an experiment... [/b][/i] After the repeal of Prohibition, Georgia state legislators in 1935 banned selling beer with more than 6 percent alcohol by volume. [b]Across metro Atlanta on Thursday, beer lovers will raise their glasses to a new law that increases the limit to 14 percent[/b. A few states still prohibit higher-alcohol beers: North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi and Arkansas. . |
| 29 Comments |
| Pampered and Blissful |
| 06.27.04 (7:35 pm) [edit] |
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I had a blissful evening so far. Did my workout and then retreated to a long relaxing bath with candlelight and no music this time - we're having a thunderstorm right now. Exfoliated, buffed and moisturized. Feel slippery smooth. (Love that after-pampering feel!) Slipped into a pale green silk nightgown. Finished off with a manicure and pedicure. Decided Fire Engine Red for the week. Va-va-va-voom! ;) Hope everyone has a great evening. I'm going to cuddle up with a book and listen to the rain. |
| 25 Comments |
| Music + Sex |
| 06.25.04 (1:10 pm) [edit] |
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I was talking to a friend last night that is having a very romantic date planned for tonight and somehow this led to a discussion of the perfect music to have sex to. My reply was, well it depends on what type of sex it is. But there are definitely a few that when I hear them, I think that's a good song/album for nookie. [b]What about you? Any songs/albums that you think are good for having sex to?[/b] |
| 38 Comments |
| This one's for Cyberpal |
| 06.24.04 (12:37 pm) [edit] |
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[i][b]Cyberpal didn't recall my reference to Mr. Trusty, so this one is reblogged just for him....[/b][/i] This is a serious subject from me from a change. It deals with paying proper respect to an unsung hero that provided significant service to myself. My vibrator died in action. Or I killed it. Or it decided to put itself out of duty. This brings up quite a quandry. Tossing the thing in the garbage just doesn't seem appropriate. First of all, that little critter served me well for a number of years. I can't even imagine the number of "pleasurable moments" Mr. Trusty (my nickname for him) provided. And considering how my garbagemen are, they'd prolly let if "fall out of the trashcan" and leave it laying in the street in front of my home. Other options: burial. I could wrap it in a pair of silk panties and dig a hole in the back yard and have a small tribute ceremony. I could say a few words about him, the times we shared, the boyfriend that thought I was a totally "kinky sexual deviant" for having Mr. Trusty in my life. I'm sure the Blue Angels aren't available for a fly over - but maybe I could plan to do the service when the local traffic heliocopters are flying over. I'm still pondering what sort of music I could play that would be good. Perhaps PowerStations "Bang a (D)ong, Get it on"? My concern is that a neighbor's dog would dig it up and think it's a "bone" (although a latex boner isn't far from accurate). I could create a little raft and put it out to sea and set it aflame. But what if a dolphin eats it and chokes? I'd hate to have the guilt of Mr. Trusty killing Flipper.... Mr. Trusty, RIP - I'll have to find a replacement (which is a WHOLE 'nother blog), but no one will be as fondly remembered as your buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. |
| 23 Comments |
| My Bush |
| 06.23.04 (8:24 am) [edit] |
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[b][i]This is another "best of" since I never know how long the computer will stay up. This one seems to bring out the pervs in you. Enjoy. ;)[/i][/b] I woke up this morning and decided I absolutely HAD to trim my bush today. It has been neglected for waaaay to long and quite honestly, it's rather embarrassing. I probably should have let a professional do it, but I have this thing about strangers and my bush - I wanted it done MY way. Ya know? Anyway, got out all the tools and even donned my purple leather gloves. Sat down and started whacking. I must have looked like Edward Scissorhands, chopping like a madman. Then I took a step back to admire my work - omg - it looked horrible - uneven -scraggily even - it's going to take ages to grow out. And then what do I see? A snake slither out from under the bush. OMG I screamed - I'm sure the neighbors thought "what the hell is she up to now!" You do realize I'm talking about a boxwood bush in the front of my house you perv, don't you? So I decide to really get into things - so I sit down on the ground, I'm chopping away - then i see an ant on my leg - and look down and realize I'm pretty much covered in them! OMG I'm sitting on an ant nest! I jump up and almost tear off my clothes right there in the front yard - instead I grab the hose and douse myself (white shirt and all) in water. At that point, be dammed, my bush will have to suffer for a few more years before I do that again. |
| 9 Comments |
| Top 50 things... |
| 06.22.04 (1:00 pm) [edit] |
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I've been reading a book on creating high energy and choosing to be happy. One of the exercises instructed me to make a list of 100 things I wanted to do before I die. This is a lot harder than you think... Here are mine (I haven't even gotten to 50) Some are 'edited' to keep my PG13 rating. 1. Learn to salsa 2. Get Diving Instructor Certification 3. Design my own home 4. White water raft the Grand Canyon 5. Hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 6. Let my Inner Sex Kitten loose. 7. Flash someone 8. Dance in the rain 9. Have a surprise party thrown for me at a roller rink with 70's and 80's music 10. Sunbathe topless on a secluded island with a guy I dig and munch on a gourmet picnic 11. Dive on a liveaboard at the Turks & Caicos 12. Bicycle thru wine country 13. Skinny dip in the moonlight with a guy I dig 14. Have an all-girl pajama party 15. Become adept at Pilates 16. Have prtraint taken 17. Dive ceynotes in Mexico 18. Visit Chichen Itza at the summer soltice 19. Sail around the Caribbean for a year 20. Dive with dolphins in open sea 21. Hike/camp around Appalachain 22. Have a room with red/leopard print 23. Romantic candlelight bubblebath with a guy I dig 24. Have a housekeeper 1x a week 25. Not feel compelled to clean the house before said housekeeper arrives 26. Ride a horse on the beach 27. Edited ;) 28. Dive the Spiegel Grove 29. Kayak around some islands 30. Spoil a man with a long massage/pedicure/manicure 31. Simplify my life. 32. Edited ;) 33. Publish more articles in magazines 34. Learn to meditate 35. Sex during a thunderstorm 36. Travel to Venice, Italy 37. See Tom Jones in Concert 38. Learn to fire a gun (and hit a target) 39. Edited ;) 40. Go spelunking 41. Learn how to dice vegetables properly 49. Finish this list 50. Skydive [b]Suggestions?[/b] |
| 35 Comments |
| Gorilla Porn |
| 06.22.04 (8:12 am) [edit] |
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NEW ORLEANS (AP) - A gorilla sex video is getting regular play here. It's not the sort found easily on the Internet, but officials at the Audubon Zoo are hoping it'll inspire one of their gorillas into action. The hope was that he would impregnate one or all of the Audubon Zoo's three female lowland gorillas - Binti and Fanya, both 28, and Binti's 8-year-old daughter, Praline. Maloney got a tape of copulating gorillas from a camera used to monitor another zoo's gorilla area. It's played in the indoor cage where Casey spends his nights. [b]"He doesn't seem that interested at this point, but he likes watching television so he does watch it," Maloney said. "Hopefully, he'll get some inspiration." [/b] |
| 21 Comments |
| Packing My Bags |
| 06.22.04 (8:04 am) [edit] |
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Yesterday, I heard for the second time from another doctor that I should go on vacation. Now I just need to find someone to go with me.... P.S. Wonder if I can deduct it from my taxes as a medical expense? |
| 26 Comments |
| My boobs and my neighbor |
| 06.22.04 (7:11 am) [edit] |
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[b][i]Here's another oldie but goodie. I'll post something new and interesting this afternoon when I'm at the library.[/i][/b] This is why I never venture outside during daylight around my house anymore. (Well, not often) The house next-door to mine was up for sale last spring/summer. (Apparently the real estate agent didn't use me as a bonus when showing the house! LMAO!) Eventually it closed in July-ish. I never saw anyone around - there was never any trash out for pick-up and I never saw any lights on... One Saturday morning, I decided to do some cleaning in the garage. Threw on some shorts and tank-top that has one of those "built in bras" - but the whole thing was too big. I didn't care - it was hot outside and I was going to be getting grungy... I have the radio going, in my cleaning "zone", bent over to pick up a box when I hear "Hello, I'm your new neighbor and I wanted to introduce myself." I look down and realize that he has full view of my nips at the moment. Mortification would be an understatement. We had a brief conversation but I cannot tell you what was discussed, what his name is, what he looks like, NOTHING! The entire time I was thinking - "OMG this guy just saw my nips." Now don't get me wrong - I love my perky boobies (thanks to Dr. Jones!), but I just prefer to be more selective about who views them, under what conditions, and for how long. (And usually they've shelled out for a few meals and flowers by then too!) After that, on weekends during the summer, I'd be sitting outside on my porch reading - and he'd be standing on his porch (which is at a much higher elevation than mine), smoking a ciggy, staring at me. So then, I am not only mortified, but creeped out. Fortunately, the dude travels a lot and I don't have to be outside much. And when I do, I wear a turtleneck. I don't care if it's 100 degrees outside in July - these girls are staying covered... |
| 12 Comments |
| Takes Horse Lover to a New Level |
| 06.21.04 (9:53 am) [edit] |
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[i]Here's another of my 'best of' since my computer is acting up. I will head over to the library later and blog some from there. [/i] I have so many other dating debacles to detail - some rather juicy - but I'm tired so I thought I was share the story of the last time I was "set up"... In one of my circle of friends, I'm pretty much the only single one left. So occasionally, they feel obligated to try to drag me into that so-called marital bliss. (But they never really look that blissful, you know?) Anyway, my friend "D" (I think she has a link to my blog - and I don't want her to scan it to have her name pop out - she's too damn busy and happily married to read through all of this because she knows most of my dirt.) told me over lunch that she had "someone" that she wanted me to meet. (Inside I'm rolling my eyes thinking - oh god, not again!) But "D" has never set me up before and she seems sorta cool so I don't give my standard reply of "I've decided to take another sabbatical from dating for a while" response. "D" tells me Matt (it's his real name) is a jr. partner at "the" biggest law firm in town. (One of the biggest in the country). I tend to date a lot of atty's (not the ones you see on tv hawking personal injury stuff)- they generally are bright, love debate and have a sharp wit. He's fluent in french (moi aussi), he loves to travel (ditto), and he loves horses (I used to ride ALL the time). She asks if she can give him my number, I say "what the heck". So Matt calls me. He sounds remotely normal. Smart. Good sense of humor. Little bit romantic. Not a total workaholic. So far, he looks pretty good on paper and hasn't blown any of my criteria for dating. He asks me to meet him a cool quiet hip restaurant for dinner later in the week. We exchange a few emails back and forth in the interim and no red flags are coming up. Meet him at the restaurant. He's on time, not unattractive but he reminds me of someone but I can't put my finger on it. Chat chat chat. Meanwhile my mind is trying to figure out who he reminds me of. Then it hits me - he is a DEAD ringer for my stepbrother. OMG. I'm laughing inside. Conversation is flowing fairly well. (I used to date another atty at his firm, so I am careful what I say...) He starts to tell me about this huge amount of property he bought south of the city to build a ranch and house for his horses. I think that's cool. He started riding 2 years ago - never been on a horse before then. I'm kinda thinking that he's kinda REALLY into his horses. He's got a temporary barn built for them - and then he tells me how he sleeps at night in the barn with the horses. (HUH?) They just seem to rest better when he's there. He gets up and goes to his condo intown, showers and goes to work. EVERY weekend he spends with his horses. About that time, I'm wondering why in the world this guy is still single? Could it be because he's looking for that special girl that doesn't mind sleeping on a bale of hay in a barn every night while watching reruns of Mr. Ed? I know in my list of "Dating Rules" (posted a few days earlier), I said they need to be an animal lover. They need to love animals, but not "LOVE" animals. He took "horse lover" to a new level in my book. For some reason, I decided not to see that catch again. Neeeeeigh! |
| 26 Comments |
| My Plumber and Poetry |
| 06.19.04 (6:30 am) [edit] |
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[i]Consider this one of my 'best of' since I never know when my 'puter is going to tank again...[/i] I have a ritual. Every Sunday evening, I crank up the water heater to full blast, fill up my huge tub with steaming hot water and bath oils and "smelly salts", surround myself with candles and put on some relaxing tuneage. I refer to this as my date with "Mr. Bubble" - although no Mr. Bubble is involved. I outgrew him when I was 8. A couple of weeks ago, I emerged from my bath, all soft and feeling ethereal, donned my purple silk robe and headed downstairs for some cold water. My cat is sitting on my kitchen table, staring at the ceiling as water is steadily dripping from the ceiling. My thoughts - "Oh shit!" I grab some towels, bowls and the relaxing aura from my bath is ruined. I run back upstairs to pull the drain to stop the water from continuing. I spend the evening cleaning up the mess. Suddenly, I'm in the market for a plumber... I ask around to my fellow home-owning friends for referrals. Being a single girl, I didn't want to be taken advantage of... A friend recommends "Matt" the plumber. I call him. He says he'll be over on Saturday. He sounds nice and somewhat intelligent. Saturday arrives. I'm nervous. People have been saying it's probably the seals on my Jacquzzi and it's going to be expensive. I get the door - Matt the plumber arrives. And Matt the plumber is a TOTAL hottie! Up we go to my bedroom - I'm thinking, damn, he's the cutest guy in a long time that been up in my lair. If he had been wearing a tool belt, I might have attacked him right there on the spot. Matt the cute plumber leans over looking in my tub doodling with things - I 'm thinking - ohh what a cute butt! This is one time I'd LUV to see plumber's crack. In no time at all, Matt the hot plumber figures out some rubber doo-hickey has rotted around the overflow thingy. He runs out to his truck, gets another one, and slaps that puppy on. He asks if there's anything else he can do while he's here. (I thought of saying "me?" but figured that would be too pretentious - especially since he bills by the hour! LOL) Alas, he leaves. He calls the next evening - remembering how I said I take my Sunday evening baths, he wanted to know if it was working ok. (How sweet and thoughtful!) Then he starts talking about how he writes poetry and wanted to know if I'd read it and give him feedback. I thought - "ooooo, he fixes things AND he writes poetry?" Hot Matt the Plumber emails me some of his poetry. I laugh, I cry, I laugh some more. It's bad. I mean really really bad. He should stick to just being a hot plumber |
| 28 Comments |
| Clock or Compass? |
| 06.18.04 (10:20 am) [edit] |
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I read this the other day and it's rather prolific to me. Made me think a lot. Hope it stirs the gerbils in your brain too... [i][b]"Don't keep your eye on the clock, keep it on the compass instead."[/b][/i] Sometimes we (myself included) get so wrapped up in where we should be in life and comparing ourselves to others that are in our age range. Do they have a bigger house? Family? Nicer car? Better job? It's not a matter of comparison to others, [i]it's about OUR own journey and the destination. Keeping our head pointed in the right direction. Not losing focus or being distracted.[/i] This causes a problem IF you don't know what direction you're heading in. This means goals. [b]Do you REALLY know what you want from life? Do you have goals set for yourself? [/b]Do you know where you want to be in a year? In five? In twenty? What do you see yourself doing? And what are you doing, actively, to get there? I'll post my own comments tomorrow. ;) |
| 20 Comments |
| What sexy is... |
| 06.15.04 (8:11 pm) [edit] |
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I was thinking tonight as I was paying my dues to the treadmill gods about what is sexy... There's the overt stuff, like thigh highs, a peek of lacy lingerie, showing some skin, high heels for a woman. In a man, there's the traditional stuff like abs, a tight shirt, pink frilly panties (kidding!). That kind of stuff doesn't take rocket science. Then there are the more subtle things. To me, I find those a lot more intriguing. [b]What do you find sexy in a potential or current mate? And what do you consider sexy about yourself? And, for the sake of it, let's all assume that a person's brain and sense of humor are all on the list...[/b] |
| 38 Comments |
| Payback is a bitch |
| 06.15.04 (8:22 am) [edit] |
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As I sit here, debating which dating debacle I should detail next... So many amusing choices, who shall my next "victim" be? I think I'll detail the drama of the "Non-Ranger". Warning - this gets a little racy and dramatic, so consider yourself warned. (Now I'm not talking about sex with houseplants or anything like that..) First of all, I need to explain my nicknaming of my dates. Admittedly, I have dated a voluminous amount of men over my dating career. When talking to friends about my dates, they would often get them confused. Like: Fred's the one who whittles chopsticks for a living? And I say nooo, Fred's the one who is designed that stupid singing bass or trout that was popular 5 years ago. SO, I started giving them nicknames, *Plus, I have dated like 15 Matts in my life. There was the "rock star" (who will remain un-named), the felon (discussed in an earlier posting), the plane guy, the horse guy, the Canadian (also discussed earlier), the football player, the artist (to be discussed later), etc. I met "E" at a business function. He was witty, ambitious, charming and well-educated. He told me he'd never been married, had been a college football player and went on briefly to the Pros before injuring his shoulder, couldn't have kids (due to a bad case of chickenpox when he was 18 in the army that rendered him sterile.) He went on to be an Army Ranger. Thus, his nickname was born! He was "the Ranger". Now, "the Ranger" was a BIG guy - 6'5, broad shoulders - let's just say he was "chunky". I'm an open-minded chick that enjoyed his company, so we went out to dinner. The conversations flowed and I had a fun time. When we eventually smooched, the guy almost squashed me - I was gasping for air (and I'm not exaggerating). Now, I was really attracted to his brain and personality but his kissing was, shall we say, LESS than desirable. Imagine a lizard tongue, going in and out of your ear. EWWW. I tried explaining a couple of times about HOW much I love to have my ear/neck nibbled on, but I don't like the tongue in the year - he's stop but revert back to old behavior. And, just general kissing - he was certifiably, the world's worst kisser. I wasn't deluded to think that I could magically transform him into losing 80 lbs, grow hair, fix his teeth and learn how to kiss. I enjoyed spending time with him - our conversations, etc. But there was something wrong -I couldn't put my finger on it... Some things didn't add up - ie him getting Chicken pox at 18 in the army but still being a college football star sorta thing. I'd ask questions but nothing concrete. We dated for about 6 months - very casually and infrequently (ie, we never came anywhere close to knockn' boots since he couldn't even curl a toe - it was more like nails scratching on a blackboard). A close friend did some checking for me. Found out the Ranger had never been a profootball player, had been married with 2 sons almost in college, and had never been an Army Ranger. He had done something with ammunition. My friend told me to go into a particular chatroom, gave me his online nickname and gave me instructions to log in to a profile with picture that he created for me. Within 20 seconds, the now known as the NON-Ranger was chatting to me. I played along - figured I'd see what I could find out and see how far he'd take it. Over the next couple of weeks, he and the pseudo-girl exchanged quite a few emails - all progressively racier and racier. This pseudo-online girl suggested that they meet - at a hotel room with a large tub and king-size bed for a romantic escapade. Everything was set up - via email - never talked on the phone. He was instructed to bring several bottles of Cristal, cd player and specific cd's, strawberries, champagne glasses, some silk scarves to tie up - oh, and one more thing - to shave his balls. He confessed to her later that he shaved himself that morning and they "itched" really bad. "She" was supposed to meet him at the Westin at 9pm on that Friday night. (Of course she had no intention of showing up) At 9:30, he emails her asking where she is... Again at 10pm, 10:30pm, etc. I failed to mention that I was forwarding the email exchange between the "non-Ranger" to most of my friends so they could be aprised of things. We had a bet going as to how long it would take the "Non-Ranger" to call me (the real me) and proposition me since he'd gotten the scene all set up. Sure enough, the next morning at 8am, he calls me. Tells me he had been too tired to drive home and got upgraded to a suite at the Westin and I had to see it. I passed on the "opportunity". He kept insisting. I advised him I was at the car dealership getting my car detailed and wasn't able to get away. He showed up at the dealership, again, insisting on showing me the suite - I laughed and said that I'd seen the rooms there and I had to get back to my car... Almost a year later - we still grab lunch every once in a while. He still makes suggestions that we hook up every once in a while which I ignore or say we aren't going there ever again. He talks about how "great" we were together - but the thing is, we never had sex - nothing even close to being confused to being sex - so it leaves me baffled. To this day, he doesn't know it was me that was behind his failed "romp" at the Westin and that I know he's a blatant liar. I go just to smirk about how long his balls must have itched from the shaving and have a free meal. LMAO I'm not a vengeful person - this was my one foray into the revenge arts - it was fun but not my style. But - don't cross me - you never know what I have up my sleeve! |
| 18 Comments |
| Tblog Quiz |
| 06.13.04 (8:15 pm) [edit] |
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Among Tbloggers... 1) Who would you most like to meet? 2) Who would you most like to spend a day with? 3) Who would you most like to have a 1nighter with? 4) Who would be good to bring home to the parents? 5) Who would impress your female/male friends? 6) Who would you want to be trapped on a desert island with? 7.) Who would you like to run for President? 8.) Who would you most like to bitch-slap? (kidding!) 9) Which 3 would you want to invite to lunch? 10) For girls: Which 3 females would you like to join you on a girls night out? For the boys: Which 3 males would you like to join you on a boys night out? Feel free to expand on any of these, add your own and don't feel like you have to suck up this blogger. ;) |
| 67 Comments |
| Beware of men in kilts |
| 06.13.04 (3:34 pm) [edit] |
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I got a call from a guy who I'm not quite sure how to categorize. We are friends, we have a professional relationship, we've dated some, and we flirt but it's never going to go anywhere because he's a manwhore. I need to come up with a new term for these sort of men... Anyway, the guy, we'll call him (I'm searching for random names of men that actually don't have a role in my life) Jimmy. Ok, his name for all purposes is "Jimmy". Jimmy is a musician - quite accomplished and professionally recognized actually. He plays bluegrass, country, cajun, and celtic music. I was mesmerized when I saw him play a fiddle - [i]I have to admit watching his fingers turned me on![/i] Anyway, we became friends. I helped him out with marketing ideas to promote his music and helped design his last CD cover. Jimmy and I went out on a couple of dates, but I have to admit, I wasn't impressed with him in date mode. Showed up in a dirty shirt - pizza stain or something. Didn't open doors, etc. We did have a smooch or two, it wasn't too shabby. But, he's got a bad case of that male disease called "it's all about me baby-itis". I think it's chronic. So, we flirt occasionally, but we're better off as friends. Back to that weekend... Jimmy calls me and asks if I'd like to go to a Celtic festival about 90 mins north of Atlanta. I had wanted to go to another festival intown, but I figured it'd be entertaining to spend the day with Jimmy. I drive over to his place - first time there - to meet him. I'm greeted at the door by Jimmy in a skirt. (Excuse me, I mean kilt). He actually looks pretty darn cute in that Scottish get-up, except his hat (referred to as a "Tam"). Regardless, it looks dopey - it's a black hat with a HUGE red pom-pom on top and ribbons down the back. He hadn't warned me that he would be all "gussied" up. His house, albeit cute and cottage-like, was SUCH a bachelor pad. No black leather furniture or bikini-clad chicks on the walls, but once again, my seldom-revealed compulsive desire to clean suddenly hit me. He told me to have a seat while he got the directions. (There was no place to sit that wasn't covered with musical instruments or "stuff".) Clothes in the den that he had stepped out of, chili-pepper Xmas lights adorning his eating area walls, and we won't even touch on the kitchen... I offer to drive because my car is, shall we say, a little bit more comfortable. We end up taking my car, but he drives. He does fill my tank with gas on the way... We get to this festival - and have to trample thru a marshy wet-sawdust path. My feet are soaked. Did I mention it's probably 50 degrees and VERY gusty? (VERY important point later) So there we are at the festival - basically 50-70 year old men in skirts. Everywhere. And apparently this festival brings out a lot of folks that are, shall we say, believe in some sort of racial superiority? There were no white hats or sheets or anything, but there was a definite sect of people that would not be going to any NAACP awards anytime soon. We are walking around the different displays as I freeze my arse off. Jimmy decides he wants to get something to eat. The choice is limited - I forget what they called it - something like the scottish sword. It's a baked potato, pricked a bunch of times and soaked in butter, melted cheddar cheese, with sliced pork and more cheese on top. (Can you say heart-attack on a stick?) Might I add, that thing was impossible to eat neatly - I had to keep wiping the cheese from his face. The wind picks up - and kilts are blowing up left and right. And these men don't seem to be that bothered about it. First of all, it's damn cold with the wind. Secondly, there are some children there. Not a single one of them was wearing ANYTHING under those kilts. We're talking older men. It was NOT a pretty sight. Jimmy, of course, kept flashing me from time to time to keep distracting me. Something about a man in a skirt that brings out the exhibitionist in him. Some of the music talent recognizes Jimmy and brings him on stage to perform. It was fun seeing him in action. We finally hit the road to drive back home. He makes the comment about the "easy accessibility" for a hand job with his kilt while he drives. I laugh. It "ain't gonna happen." Why? Well, I would get nothing in return and I'm not going to start a trend of him getting all the attention. And, even if I was interested in him, my windows aren't tinted and it was a very congested day - lots of SUVs and Vans passing by and I didn't want to traumatize a child. I replied that if he first plays me like he does his fiddle and harmonica, I'd reconsider. (I literally saw his jaw drop!) That shut him up. But I did make a mental note to get my windows tinted should I ever be in a car with a hot guy in a kilt. |
| 51 Comments |
| Diva's Dating Rules.... |
| 06.11.04 (8:34 pm) [edit] |
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I believe dating is an art. And I've established a number of rules or guidelines for my dating based on experiences. It's a method of immediately eliminating any "undesirables" - these are immediate red flags for me that make me holler "NEXT!" [i]The stories behind some of these rules are comical and but no men were harmed in the making of this list (ok, they weren't mortally wounded).[/i] [u][b]The Non-negotiables:[/b][/u] [b]1) [b]No smoking or chewing tobacco.[/b][/b] *I had to make an addendum to this a few weeks ago when I went out with a guy that pulled out some Skoal. He had flecks of that crap in his teeth. NASTY. [b]2) [b]No criminal record. [/b][/b] *I dated a guy briefly that "seemed" cool - then he enlightened me that he was on probation. For what you ask? Try Attempted Sexual Assault on a Minor! At first, I thought I'd be open-minded as he professed it was a "set-up". (Don't they ALL say that?) But I just couldn't do it. Something about pulling up the county's convicted sex offender database to show someone my bf's pic just didn't sound too appealing. [b]3)[b] Place of his own.[/b][/b] *I understand the economy is tight. I've been laid off myself, but I cannot deal with a guy that has a roomie or, even worse, lives with his parents. [b]4) [b]Good teeth.[/b] [/b] *Dental hygiene is important. He's gotta have all his teeth. And they can't look like those fake ones you pick up at the convenience store. [b]5) [b]Professional Job[/b][/b] * I tried dating an "artist" for a while. Amazing guy. I bought the whole "I don't need money" thing until he was stranded out of state with his vehicle broken down and desperately needed money. [b]6) [b]Decent, working car[/b][/b] *Kinda ties into #5. Another stud I dated drove his heap over to my house and then asked me to drive each time because his vehicle was "leaking fluid". Call me silly, I have no problem in driving occasionally - but a man over 30 that can't keep his car in working condition needs to take the next exit in my life. [b]7) [b]Stable Finances[/b][/b] *Ties into #s 5 & 6. I live a comfortable life. I like to travel and do fun things - and I generally pay my own way. I don't want a guy to put himself in financial binds to try to keep up with me, nor do I want a guy that expects me to be his sugarmomma or "loan" him money that I'll never see again. Won't do it! [b]8) [b]Not Married, Separated, or Recently Divorced[/b][/b] I can't name all the guys that have failed to mention that they had a wife (and family) at home when they asked me out. Call it professional courtesy, but I don't mess with another woman's man. Don't want to deal with the drama, the baggage or the leftovers. [b]9) [b]Can Cook and Clean for Himself.[/b][/b] I'm not his mother, his chef, or his maid. And I'm not going to be spending nights at a place that I'm afraid to turn on the lights to see critters scurrying, or feel compelled to call in Maid Brigade to decontaminate the place. [b]10) [b]No history of drinking or drug problems.[/b][/b] Just because I have a degree in psychology does not mean I'm willing to put up with those ups and downs. I have enough troubles with men without those issues, I don't need more drama. [b]11) Relatively Physically Fit[/b] Just because I'm a certified rescue diver doesn't mean I want to practice CPR on him when he tries to go up a flight of stairs. I'm not looking for Mr.Ironhead whose neck creaks when he tries to turn his head. I just want a guy that won't squish me and I can put my arms around. [b]12) Must love animals.[/b] I admit it. I have 2 cats. You don't like them or you say you hate cats, get out of my presence. I love all animals - except spiders, ants, mosquitos, stinging insects, and roaches. I think there's something wrong with someone that doesn't connect with animals. [b]13) No children (or at least grown)[/b] *I don't have kids by choice. I don't want to deal with all the drama of them. I admit it, I'm a horrible person - I just don't want that sort of complication. [b]14) Honesty[/b] *If a guy lies to me about stupid things in the beginning, there is no second chance. I have a thing about honesty. One guy in particular lied to me about practically everything in his life. I found out. He had a taste of "sweet revenge" and to this day, he doesn't know I know he lied and he doesn't know it was me that instigated it. (I'll have to elaborate on that one another time!) [b]15) Not racist or homophobic. [/b] Guys that are that insecure and closed-minded - I just can't tolerate it. [b]16) Not violent.[/b] *This chick will not tolerate a guy that raises his voice excessively, raises his hand, or throws things. I don't want to have to defend myself - I will NOT tolerate it. [b]17) Sense of direction in life[/b] *By the time we're 30, we should have some idea of the general direction and goals in our lives. Men still wandering after that are probably going to be still in search of something at 70. [b]18) Passion[/b] *Now I'm not just talking about in the sack - I'm talking about a passion (or more) in life. Something that REALLY gets him fired up. Sports teams DO not count. [b]19) Chivalrous, Romantic, and Well-mannered[/b] *I can write a novel on this one... I'm sorry but I like to have doors opened for me, to get flowers every once in a while, to be treated like a princess (but I certainly reciprocate). Not expecting it 24/7 - just occasional gestures work for me. Someone that eats with his mouth full, is embarrassing to eat with in public or uncomfortable in more "formal" social settings - I'm not going to train them. [b]19a) Cannot use more hair products or preen more than I do.[/b] *I think this one is pretty self-explanatory, but a guy that has hair 2-3 inches long does NOT need 8 products and an hour to do his hair. It just ain't right. [b] Last but not least... 20) Kisses that curl my toes.[/b] *I've kissed a lot of frogs (and a few toads too). I've found that if they haven't developed their smooching ability to an adequate level by now, that the other things are also going to be less than sufficient. If you don't curl my toes, do not pass go, just keep on walking out the door. :arrow: |
| 49 Comments |
| How do you know? |
| 06.11.04 (7:21 pm) [edit] |
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How do you know when you're truly over someone? I was dumb, dumb, dumb last fall (did I mention I was dumb?) and let myself succumb (a little) to a guy that my head told me "What the HELL are you thinking!" He pursued me for months, patiently, while I continued dating a host of other guys that fit my 'profile'. Let's step back and set the stage... I'm almost 33, 2 college degrees, nice house, money in the bank, investments, something called a 401k - I work in a professional environment and believe in working hard (and playing hard too). Him? 44. Married 3 times. A kid that he has no communication with, lives in a warehouse with a communal bathroom, a motorcycle, works odd jobs to try to cover his expenses and lived on poptarts and chili. But there was the soft-spoken, sensitive, romantic side of him that wore this girl down. He courted me - I haven't been treated like that in ages. I tell you, it works. ;) I fought the attraction completely - he's the antithesis of every guy I've dated. Physically, totally not attracted - but it was something about his soul that reeled me in. Despite all the red flags, I felt safe with him. He knew I had too much going on to deal with a trampled heart. He promised me he would never do that. (LIAR) Technically, we had 3 dates. But hours on the phone, text messages to my phone, hundreds of emails and IM's that lasted for days. I cooked a huge T'giving spread for him - and opted out of spending it with family/friends because he was going to spend it alone eating poptarts and wasn't comfortable in crowds of unfamiliar people. I spent THREE days shopping and cooking. I love cooking, and it was nice to have someone to cook for and make a fuss over. And when I realized I was falling for this guy, he cut the cord. Thanksgiving morning, he sends me an EMAIL saying he wouldn't be able to make it. He didn't like the holidays and needed to go into 'hiding' or some lameass excuse like that. (Could he have possibly told me that before I dropped $200+ on food and took 2 days off work and passed on oppty's to spend with others????) So, I spent T'giving VERY mad at him. But even madder at myself. For being so damn stupid. I should have listened to my head. I KNEW nothing positive could come of it - thank goodness we didn't have sex. I threw that entire feast I prepared in the trash. I cried. I swore NO guy would ever make me cry -and yet he got to me. Other drama contributed to make this one of the darkest points of my life. A friend totally betrayed me. I had my ankle surgery - and was totally isolated from the world - stuck with my foot in the air for a 8 weeks. Every time I thought I was past him, I'd hear something thru the circle about him dating someone new or some fling he had. It wasn't that I was jealous - because I would NEVER go back to that. It's just that I felt that I was still not back on my feet, and he was sprinting ahead. I see now, that he is looking for something apparently intangible. He's a tortured soul that is unable to really find happiness. Despite the hurtful things he said and did to me, I harbor no ill will. I wish him the best and hope one day, he figures it out and finds what he's looking for. I worry about him a bit, and I'm sad when I think of all that wasted talent. I struggled with what I learned from this experience. At first, it was that I'd never let down my guard again. That's not the answer. Instead, I'm going to listen to my head - step back and look at things logically. Romance may not be logical, opposites may attract, blah blah blah but I need some common ground and more common values. I've put dating on the back burner since then - I've dated a little bit, but physically I haven't been up to it. I'm not my regular fun self with all the health crap going on. But, I think I've finally put it behind me. My heart was stomped on but I think it's recovered. I don't know if there's some measure of "DING!" you're officially over someone - when you don't think of them for a week, or you don't feel angry but I have the inklings of a crush, so I think that's a good sign... Finally. |
| 19 Comments |
| A simple kiss |
| 06.11.04 (8:27 am) [edit] |
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Someone blogged earlier about great movie lines (sorry I can't remember who - my mind's fuzzy this a.m.), and I included one from GWTW (Gone with the Wind for you non-southern folks!). [i]"You need to be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how to do it." Rhett Butler[/i] For some reason, this has had my mind on kissing this morning... What is it about the allure of that magical 'first kiss' with someone? The anticipation? The excitement? The longing? When I want to smooch someone, I find myself staring at the 'target's lips. Always hoping for a toe-curling experience. It's like staring at some delicious dessert that you have been thinking about all day - you want to savor the moment, enjoy every last crumb of the experience. I think I'm going to go take a cold shower. LMAO |
| 51 Comments |
| For you politicos |
| 06.09.04 (8:23 pm) [edit] |
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Some of you politicos are really pissing me off tonight. Attacking a man that served our country, made tremendous sacrifice, and lived his last years in a terrible decline to Alzheimers. Whether you agree with his Administration, it's policies or results, the man is dead. If you don't have respect for the man, fine, that's your perspective, but you should still hold respect for the Office. I'm not a Republican or a Democrat. Should that be Clinton lying in State, I would keep my mouth shut instead of insulting him like several of you are doing to Reagan. Out of respect to the title of Presidency, what it represents, and his family, I would duct tape my mouth shut if necessary. Let the man rest in peace. You've had 20+ years to rip him apart. Let it end now. |
| 26 Comments |
| Pawns in their Paws |
| 06.09.04 (8:09 pm) [edit] |
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My pal shespecies blogged today about her precious kitten Jonathan playing hide & seek and giving his 'mom' a heart attack. It reminded me of an adventure I had once... (great segue, right?) It was a rainy Saturday evening in February and I was getting ready to head out to meet a 'gentleman' for dinner/drinks. (First date, so I was meeting him there to decide if he wasn't a psychopath and could learn my last name and where I lived...) Anyway... I run outside to get the mail - it's just drizzling -and it's starting to get dark. Upon coming back to the front door, Sassy, my solid-black cat, decides to make a mad dash out the front door. I think "Shit!" So I'm following her around the yard. Of course, she thinks this is great fun and a game. My back yard is surrounded by a 8ft fence, but there is 12 inches between my fence and my neighbors fence. And guess where that little fucker decides to run? Yep. So she's in my neighbor behind me's yard. I have to get in my car and drive around the f'ing neighborhood to his back yard. She sees my flashlight and runs back thru the space between the fences so she's back at the side of my house. Back in my car, cursing like a sailor, I grab my cell phone and call my 'date' to tell him I was in a predicament and would probably be running late. He sounded pissed and talking about how hard our reservation was to get. (It WOULD have been nice had he offered to come over and help me, but he didn't.) I said "It would be a lot faster if someone could help me corner her. (His reply was that he'd be at the bar waiting...) This back and forth with me and the cat (I was too pissed to call her Sassy at this point because I was wet, cold and ready to skin her alive) went on for a good 30 mins. (Meanwhile, my 'former date' called back being an ass telling me they would hold the table for another 15 mins. I told him to enjoy dinner and I wouldn't be making it) After an hour of chasing this damn cat, I was ready to say 'f. it and let her spend the night out in the rain and learn a lesson.' But I knew if I found her hit by a car in the a.m., I'd never forgive myself... FINALLY, that little fucker had enough and was sitting on the front door stoop waiting for me to let her in - as if saying 'what took you so long?' To this day, I cannot use the word 'bad' without her shirking in fear because I called her that about 1000 times that night. And she never steps out that door without me giving her permission. And, that guy never called to ask if I found her. Bastard. |
| 13 Comments |
| Changes... |
| 06.08.04 (8:37 pm) [edit] |
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If you could change one thing about your physical appearance...? If you could change one thing about your personality...? If you could change one decision you've made in your life...? If you could change the way people perceive you...? If you could change one thing about the world...? |
| 21 Comments |
| Exes |
| 06.08.04 (9:42 am) [edit] |
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Since the media was so eager to ask the former Mrs. JLo's about their feelings toward her sudden marriage, these questions came to mind: Do you speak badly about your exes? What do you think of prospective bf/gf's that speak poorly of their exes? Do you think it sheds them in a poor light? Are you on good terms with some/most/all/none of your exes? |
| 20 Comments |
| Change of Latitude |
| 06.07.04 (6:16 pm) [edit] |
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I've been feeling really beat-up lately - physically and emotionally and just by life in general lately. One thing that drives me NUTS is people that bitch and moan about stuff but never take action. Well, for the past couple of days, I've felt paralyzed by all the crap influencing my life. I can't do much about the health stuff - I'm just going to dr. after dr., eating right, working out, staying out of the sun, not overexerting myself, blah blah blah. But I'm a believer in mind-body connection. And my mind ain't helping things lately. Usually, when I feel stressed out or burnt out, I grab my fins and head to a warm sunny diving destination. But, I don't think physically I'm up to it. So, I'm thinking a change of latitude would still be good for my attitude. I have a dr's appt next week - I think I'll see what he says the next steps are and start planning some sort of getaway. I don't really know anyone around me that's up for a getaway - most of my social circle is married/kids/job/life - so they don't normally have the flexibility to ditch everything. I've traveled alone several times before - either I wanted to be left totally alone and bury my nose in a book/journal/behind a camera. Othertimes, I met a lot of fun and interesting folks and had a blast that way as well. But, traveling alone can be expensive - they just LOVE to hit you with the 'single supplement'. ARRRGH I'm thinking a cruise. Or maybe just get a condo somewhere warm and sunny. Stay tuned. |
| 47 Comments |
| Choices, Regrets, and Sex |
| 06.06.04 (3:10 pm) [edit] |
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I was reading a book yesterday that was completely lame, but a sentence on the first page caught my attention and made me think... Here it is: "If we always made the smartest choice, we'd never get laid." I guess if we armchair quarterback every 'lay' we've had, we would probably wish we hadn't had a number of them. So, here are my questions for you: [b]Do we lose some part of our reason and logic and judgment when it comes to getting laid?[/b] *this is a no-brainer for you guys, you don't even need to bother answering it! And... [b]What percentage of your 'lays do you regret? 10%? 25%? 75%? Looking back, what were the bad judgments about? Alcohol? Horniness? Loneliness? Closing hour at the bar? The person was on their medication at the time you met them? [/b] |
| 75 Comments |
| Flowers SUCK! |
| 06.06.04 (1:35 pm) [edit] |
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The mother invaded a little while ago. She was 'concerned' since I cancelled on seeing her Thursday (because I was so upset that I got lost driving again but didn't want to tell her). The irony today? She brings me a dozen roses. They are beautiful - ivory with peach edges. Problem is - Roses give me a wicked headache - always have - and she knows this. Regardless, I thank her for them profusely and off she runs. So, now I'm depressed. It's pretty pathetic when the only flowers you've gotten in ages is from your mom or a get-well arrangement from your mentor. I don't like guys to make a fuss over me. Then again, I never date anyone long enough to warrant flowers for a special occasion. I can count the times I've gotten flowers from a guy on two fingers. (And one was just a rose - no wait, I bought him the rose! So make that I can count the flowers I've received from a guy on one finger - and that was because I caught him in a MAJOR manipulative lie and he was trying to make good...And, heaven forbid - I have never received flowers from a guy 'just because'. I'm thinking of embracing my state of being and changing to "SpinsterDiva" instead... |
| 15 Comments |
| Erotic Fantasies |
| 06.06.04 (8:29 am) [edit] |
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Ok, I know the title caught your attention. I'm not going into details you perves! LOL But - here's a thought. We all have erotic sexual fantasies (or at least most of us do - I think Ironwolf has already lived all of his out - and a few more!LOL) Are sexual/erotic fantasies better left a fantasy? Can reality top fantasy? Have you ever lived out a fantasy (you don't have to share the details)? If so, would you 'undo' it if you could? How did it impact other fantasies you had? |
| 56 Comments |
| Click This |
| 06.04.04 (9:24 am) [edit] |
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I would recommend not to click on this if uncontrolled laughing might disturb people around you. It's not racy. http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/" title="http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/" target="_blank"http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/... |
| 27 Comments |
| Just call me idiot. |
| 06.02.04 (9:39 pm) [edit] |
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I'm really upset at the moment. I was going to do a double or triple feature at the drive-in that started at 9pm. Haven't been there in a year, but have been there over 20 times. It's about 20 mins away - not in the 'safest' part of town. It's a great location for crack, ho's and it's conveniently located next to the Federal Pen... Anyway, I leave my house around 8:20 to make sure I have enough time to get there. I got confused and got VERY lost - I ended up driving around in this VERY bad area for over 90 minutes trying to find my way back to civilization... This keeps happening to me - my mind/memory is really screwed up due to the tumor. I've been trying to minimize it, but have also stayed close to home for the past 5 months. Other than heading to the grocery store and library, I don't leave the house anymore. My hair is falling out more and more. I'm totally fatigued when I wake up. The drs are so casual about these things - and I'm so fed up with all this medical crap. It's June and I've had over 30 dr. appts so far this year. That's over 6 a month. That's 1.5 a week. I'm frustrated. I'm scared and I'm getting worn down trying to keep my chin up and keep fighting. My mother continues to 'enable' things (for lack of a better description). If it was up to her, she'd insist on wiping my ass to keep me from exhausting myself. She means well, but I refuse to give in and admit how I'm 'wilting'... I've cancelled five social events in the past month because I'm not up to it - either do the fatigue or how I feel I look or that I'm not up to getting myself there. I'm pushing everyone away because I can't recall things. I can't remember if I have shared things with them or what's going on in their lives. It's embarrassing and I feel like a f'ing idiot freak. Going to find my sleeping pills and knock myself out for the night. Maybe I'll wake up and this will have been a bad dream |
| 19 Comments |
| Opps! |
| 06.02.04 (12:06 pm) [edit] |
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I'm sure this will be picked up by the national news circuits, but you can say you heard it here first... Just north of Atlanta, a woman hired a tree company to take down a large dead tree in the back of her yard. Apparently, it was so large that it required a crane. Apparently, the dude operating the crane was an idiot, as the crane fell forward and literally sliced her house in 2. The homeowner was in the house, no one was injured, except the house, which is a total loss. Here are links to 2 pics. http://img55.photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /Diving" title="http://img55.photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /Diving" target="_blank"http://img55.photobucket.com/...%20Pics/cranehouse2.jpg http://img55.photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /Diving" title="http://img55.photobucket.com/albums/v168/ScubaDiva /Diving" target="_blank"http://img55.photobucket.com/...%20Pics/cranehouse.jpg They said that it was not a malfunction of the crane, but operator errow. What do you bet the crane operator doesn't have a job next week? |
| 23 Comments |
| Women in the Military |
| 06.01.04 (2:39 pm) [edit] |
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From my quote du jour: We have women in the military, they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say: You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." Elayne Boosler Kinda funny and somewhat true... esp if they said the uniforms made your ass look big... |
| 31 Comments |
by Redonthehead