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| For Misty... |
| 05.31.04 (12:31 pm) [edit] |
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I am so sad. I emailed a friend I haven't heard from in a while. He's a DEA agent - his partner - aka his mistress, is a dog - named Misty. I just got a reply from his son - he was shot serving a warrant and they killed Misty. I'm glad he's ok - relatively speaking - his arm is in a sling. But those fucking monsters that would kill a dog. I hope they rot in hell. He and Misty had such a connection and he loved her so much. I can't imagine how terrible this must be for him. Memorial Day is for those soldiers that lost thier lives serving our country, but let's all remember those service animals too. Misty served us for belly scratches and doggie treats. |
| 15 Comments |
| Ideal Date |
| 05.31.04 (9:21 am) [edit] |
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I haven't been dating in a while - because I haven't felt up to the whole 'get to know you' initial dating charade. I feel to tired to even try to be my regular upbeat witty self. But Cyberpal and I were talking about first dates... Which got me to thinking about what makes a good date and some of the best ones I've had. I'm not a fan of doing a movie for a date (especially a first date) - it's lame - no chance to talk for 90+ mins. No eye contact. I prefer an oppty to talk and get to know someone. The date that always makes me smile - I was 18 - home from college on winter break - he made spaghetti for me and rented "Lady and the Tramp". (I know ladies, insert collective 'aaawwww!' here.) He was a totally sweet guy -had it not been for the distance with our colleges - who knows. My favorite dates are simple - pack up a picnic, bottle or two of wine, go hiking to a nice secluded spot, take pictures of the scenery. A creek to chill the wine and soak our tootsies... I've done that a couple of times and it's always been nice. I dated a guy for a while that had a couple of planes. Several times we'd fly around the mountains when the leaves were changing. Flew down to the Keys for a weekend of diving. It was convenient and I felt kind of spoiled - but I don't need that kind of fuss. [b]What are some of your favorite dates? What about your ideal 'fantasy date?'[/b] |
| 16 Comments |
| My mom 3 vs. Trees 0 |
| 05.27.04 (5:21 pm) [edit] |
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At the moment, I physically feel like a blob. I am so spent physically - as in I hardly have the energy to keep my head up. The mom invaded around 9am as I was mowing the back yard. I said I wanted to trim back some branches in the front yard that were keeping the sun from reaching my dead, brown grass. Apparently, she took this to mean that I wanted every single branch cut off that was within reach on a 12 ft ladder. The piles of branches to be picked up tomorrow are monsterous. As my neighbors are driving by home from work, they are all slowing down to say "what the hell happened?" I wasn't allowed to touch the saw or the pruning loppers - my task was to pick up the branches and stack them in piles and rake up the leaves. We did this for SIX hours. We're talking about three trees. That's a buttload of branches. (I'll take some pics tomorrow a.m. and post them for amusement) She was ready to get to the trees in the back yard, but she saw that I was about to keel over and said we'd pick things up next Thursday. (It's going to take me that long to recuperate.) I stepped on the thingy-ma-bob hooky- latchy thing on my overall shorts last week. Hurt like the dickens. Left a big bruise. It's turned into a huge gaping hole on the arch of my foot. I've been keeping it clean with hydrogen peroxide and polysporin, but my foot is swelling up now and it's all red and hot. Lovely. Maybe we can break out the saw and just amputate it next week when she comes over... I'm going back to bed. "night folks" |
| 13 Comments |
| Invasion Looming |
| 05.27.04 (7:51 am) [edit] |
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I'm being invaded this morning by "the mother." Where's my Xanax when I need it? She's coming over to help trim some trees from my neighbor's yard that are blocking all the sun from hitting my grass, causing lots of erosion. I'm not up to it. I feel really tired. But I can't say that to her because it's fuel/ammunition for her to take over everything from cleaning to my yard work. And I won't permit it. I just pace myself and set priorities... Last time I was doing yard work, she criticized me for having my hair in a pony tail because it "isn't the most flattering look" for me. (WTF? I'm mowing my yard!) That statement pretty much sums her up though. Someone shoot me please... |
| 23 Comments |
| Bitch |
| 05.25.04 (7:00 pm) [edit] |
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I thought I'd make today's quotes du jour about "bitches." Since I've had to be rather bitchy with quite a few folks today, I thought it was appropriate. There’s a name for you ladies, but it isn’t used in high society, outside of a kennel. Joan Crawford Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass. Maya Angelou I found my inner bitch and ran with her. Courtney Love [b]Question: Do you consider being called a bitch an insult or a compliment?[/b] |
| 21 Comments |
| My Grass |
| 05.25.04 (2:03 pm) [edit] |
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As a single chick with a house that refuses to pay $75/week for some dude to mow my lawn, the responsibility falls on my shoulders. Springtime requires that we kill weeds, fertilize and mow our tender yards on a schedule. I sprayed my yard with a "weed killer for lawns" to kill various unwanted weeds and send them to weed heaven. A week later, some of the little buggers were dead, but many were still clinging to life. So I applied a 2nd treatment 2 weeks after the first one. The weeds were gone. So I broke out my cute little spreader and fertilized my yard. A week later, the yard is green and thriving...but so is red clover. (Imagine green clover but deep purple/red). This is NOT part of my landscaping vision... I stop to take some pictures this day of my garden and peach tree, etc - shots of my lush green grass are included. So I get the jug of the weed killer stuff and call the 800# where they 'guarantee' results. The nice guy tells me they'll send me a refund and tells me to apply a 'weed and feed' to my yard. I explain that I just fertilized my yard. He said to fret not, that it would be ok and told me exactly what product to get. I break out the handy dandy spreader again and weed and feed my yard. I'm thinking, "Gee Lawn, I hope you're hungry b/c you're gettin' fed a lot!" I follow the directions on the bag as instructed - mowing and watering accordingly... A few days later - I notice my red clover is dying. (DIE CLOVER DIE!) A week later, my entire yard is brown and dead. And the damn red clover is back. I call Spectracide - the mfr of the weed killer and the product specialist that told me what to do. He says "our products don't kill grass." I reply nicely that other than water, nothing has been applied to my yard except their products. So I called the store manager at the local Lowe's Home Improvement Store. Tell him what happened. He got all my info. I received a call back from him saying that they would be replacing my yard and the regional VP of Spectracide would be calling me. So how's that for customer service? |
| 23 Comments |
| Coincidence or Not? |
| 05.20.04 (10:26 pm) [edit] |
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I've run the gamut of emotions in the past 2 days about my friend's suicide. But, there have been a couple of concidences that seem just too "coincidental" to not feel that she had something to do with it. 1) The day I send her a card - the first since Xmas, I get the note about her suicide that very same day.... 2) Needless to say, I didn't sleep well that night and was really tense and restless. The accupunturist called me the next morning to say she suddenly had a cancellation in an hour. She said she never gets cancellations. It was exactly what I needed. 3) Last night I was cleaning my home office. I came upon a mug that I had packed up when I was moving out of my mom's house about 12 years ago. Inside it, was some newspaper crunched up. I open it - and inside was 3- 1inch figurines that she had given me. (All the figurines were bunnies - she used to love to give me bunny things...) Why of all nights was I suddenly unpacking a mug from my high school to discover those? 4) Tonight, when I'm walking houseguests out to their car, there are NINE bunnies in my front yard. I live in metro Atlanta - one or two bunnies is an occasional occurance. I saw them and just felt a sense of peace. Like it was a signal from her. Do I sound totally wacky? I'm flying out Saturday compliments of Frequent Flier miles to Houston for her memorial (which her EX-Husband is speaking at!!!) The woman at ticketing office upgraded me to first class both ways. P.S. I finally spoke to my father this afternoon - and he was a total ass. Suddenly, I don't feel any regret about the past 6 years not speaking to him. I'll blog about it later - for right now, I just want to write about it in my "real journal". Since I've been filling up journals for years about him... I'm amazed at how calm I am with all this stuff going on around me. (Must be the xanax I took - kidding!) |
| 22 Comments |
| Updated: A Tribute |
| 05.18.04 (4:33 pm) [edit] |
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I am so devastated right now. I got a letter in the mail today - no return address, and addressed to "L.A" (my nickname) with no last name. It was handwritten and hard to decipher, but a woman that lives in Houston that has been like a surrogate mom to me killed herself. Her neighbor wrote me the note - said they don't know the cause of death, but she left a suicide note. It's horrible to say, but I knew it was coming one day. I hadn't talked to her in a while because her phones were frequently disconnected. She was undiagnosed bipolar. And with her frequent manic episodes, she would shop until there was no end (often stuff for me). You couldn't walk through her house because of all the "stuff". When she was depressed, she would go off - let her power, phones get cut off, not tell anyone where she was, etc. She was my best friend freshman year in college's mom. She taught me how to cook and encouraged me to live out my dreams. She threw me a 21st birthday party. When I was feeling overwhelmed, I would fly out and stay with them. She was always more of the mom role than my own mother has been... Her husband, a prominent atty, divorced her and married his secretary, whom he knocked up. He tried to commit her, but she didn't stay. I never got all the details. Her sons turned their back on her several years ago - didn't invite her to their weddings or send announcements of their children's births. Since then, she has been so alone. People loved her, but they were such a superficial presence in her life. Very few people really "connected" with her. (I understand, because I feel the same way most of the time.) I saw her last March - she was totally in a manic phase and being around her wore me out, but I was there to help her deal with some business matters. She wanted to give me her family silver, and a bunch of other stuff, but I just didn't want to accept anything while she was manic. I left her a long letter after my visit saying how concerned I was about her, how much I loved her and it was something I thought she needed to investigate. Her reply on the phone was "I got your letter, I appreciate your concern, but that's not it." I tried calling her many times but her numbers were always disconnected. I did hear from her in October - I can't remember what we talked about in particular. I sent her an Xmas card without a response... The ironic thing is that I sent her a letter yesterday. I had thought of sending her one in the past month or so - and I wonder if I had sent her one, if it might have made a difference. So now, I'm trying to get a flight out to Houston and find out if I can be of help at all. I haven't spoken to her sons in years - more than 10. I just feel like I've been kicked in the solar plexis. To Beth, one of my dearest friends, a teacher, an inspiration and so much more, you touched my life in so many ways. You will be missed more than I could ever express. Update: I talked to the neighbor who found Beth and wrote me the note. I got the details of the service, etc. Apparently she overdosed on pills. What no one can believe is that she did it with her dog there - that she adored. They are guessing he was there 4-5 days before they discovered her. I spoke to my mother and she was her classic self. Her reply to me going to the memorial service was "Why would you do that? She's not there." I told her that I wanted to pay my respects, honor her, and have closure. Sum it up to say, my mother is rather envious of the bond I had with Beth. I keep looking at the calendar, trying to recall that day - did I do anything in particular? Why didn't she reach out to me? I still think it's so odd that I wrote her a letter just yesterday... It's sad. I don't have anyone truly close to me that I feel comfortable sharing it with. I have lots of 'good time friends' but they are never around when I need them. Perhaps it's also that I rarely reach out to them either. My best bud is over a thousand miles away. No one here to sit and be morose with. I could be just like Beth one day - (not saying I'd kill myself) but if I had a medical problem - it would probably be a week or more before someone would think something was odd. I guess I'm rather isolated as well. I'm irritated b/c my cable modem is slower than molasses right now (on top of Tblog!). I can't access the travel websites. It's a conspiracy. It's amazing what death will do to someone's appetite... |
| 19 Comments |
| Tickles your Fancy? |
| 05.18.04 (7:35 am) [edit] |
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What makes you click on a blog to read?(That is when tblog is working...) Do you only read your "friends"? Or do you scan the "recent posts" for an interesting title? Do you only read ones that you've botted? Or perhaps someone that says something interesting in Tblurt? Does someone groveling to "read your post" actually make you want to read it? Do you scan the HotBlogs? |
| 17 Comments |
| Bootay Call |
| 05.16.04 (9:56 pm) [edit] |
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Last night (technically early this a.m.), my phone rang. I usually have the ringer off on my phone, but apparently when I was dusting, I flipped the ringer back on. I don't answer it. Phone rings again. It's, shall we call him, "Dick". I look at the clock - it's 3:21. I think to myself, "gee, I wonder what he wants?" "Dick" asks me how I'm doing. Now mind you, I haven't spoken to "Dick" in about 21/2 months and haven't seen him since October(?) when we had dinner just to catch up. I reply "I'm sleeping, how are you?" He says he's ok. I inquire if he's inebriated and needs a ride. (I won't turn down a drunk.) He says he's not but he's "been thinking about (me) a lot lately." (My eyes roll - how "suave" he is.) I don't take the bait. I tell him to email me next week and we can do lunch. (Figured that would send a message - it ain't happening!) He said he's missed me and really wanted to see me tonight. I interrupt him and ask - is it really me that he's missing or is he just trying to get lucky? "Dick" and I dated (I'm counting) 7 years ago. He had just graduated from law school. He took a job out of town, so it fizzled. We remained in contact via email and phone. I've seen him maybe 4 times in the past 7 years since he moved. (But he's back in town) Anyway, I digress... I tell "Dick" that I can assure him that the road to sex with me does not include a booty call at 3:21a.m. and that he'll have to keep flipping thru his little black book. I hear a deep sigh on the other end. I say "Oh, Dick, could you do me a favor RIGHT NOW?" He replies "Anything for you babe." I say "Write by my number DO NOT CALL AFTER 9PM" and I hang up. MEN! |
| 27 Comments |
| More things about me you didn't know... |
| 05.16.04 (7:29 pm) [edit] |
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102. I went to the same high school as Ryan Seacrest. (And I believe Trish (the psycho from "The Bachelor") went there too - she looks REALLY familar to me.) 103. I've had to take 2 landlords to court - and won both times. (One was even represented by an atty!) 104. I had a horse named "Gopher" after the dude from "Love Boat" and another named "Liberty Bell" (I wanted to change his name to Donny Osmond, but that was nixed) 105. Twice, in movie theaters, complete strangers have sat close to me and "whipped it out" and starting getting busy. I screamed, hit one guy and chased him out of the theater. ;) 106. So I only go to drive-ins if I'm going to the movies alone. (It's by the Federal Pen and it's a great spot if you're looking for crack, hookers, or guns - but somehow, I feel safer...) 107. I'm the only single female in my 'hood of 180 houses and they are mean and suspicious of me. 108. I dated an Olympic Cyclist (before he made the team). 109. I dated an Olympic Volleyball Player (before he made the team). 110. I used to dress frogs I'd catch up in barbie ballet costumes and make them do "plies". 111. I wasn't allowed to wear pants except for riding horses until I was 12. 112. I've had 13 surgeries in my life. 113. I've had 8 casts on my left ankle from bad sprains/breaks + 3 more times for surgeries. Average 3 months per cast = 2 1/2 years of my life casted! 114. When I'm eating "real food", I can get by on about $100/month. |
| 12 Comments |
| Update: My Fly |
| 05.15.04 (10:05 pm) [edit] |
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There is a monsterous-sized fly buzzing around me. I keep trying to swat his ass - but he buzzes right by me. I just wanted to post and entry with "my fly" as the title. I figured some of you pervs would think I was referring to something else. Now I gotta go squash his ass. Update: it's 2:30 Sunday and that damn fly is still up here buzzing around. Every time I swat at him, he comes after me more. He's HUGE. He's like 4x the size of a regular house fly. Update: It's 10pm Sunday and the demon with wings is still buzzing me. When do these things DIE???? |
| 5 Comments |
| Something HUGE! |
| 05.14.04 (6:41 pm) [edit] |
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[b]Someone advised me that they will often use magnets on the ears to help accupunture patients lose weight. Since I won't be back to see her for 2 weeks, I thought I'd "improvise" since I'd like to lose a few pounds. I currently have 2 refrigerator magnets clipped to my ears. (The alpahabet ones didn't seem strong enough, so I have some clippy magnets - those seem like STRONG ones) Tomorrow I'm going to find one of those really big magnet doo-hickey machines that picks up junker cars and stick my head to those for a few hours. I'll keep you posted. I think I'm on to something BIG![/b] |
| 24 Comments |
| Serious Predicament |
| 05.13.04 (4:05 pm) [edit] |
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This is a serious subject from me from a change. It deals with paying proper respect to an unsung hero that provided significant service to myself. [b]My vibrator died.[/b] Or I killed it. Or it decided to put itself out of duty. This brings up quite a quandry. Tossing the thing in the garbage just doesn't seem appropriate. First of all, that little critter served me well for a number of years. I can't even imagine the number of "pleasurable moments" Mr. Trusty (my nickname for him) provided. And considering how my garbagemen are, they'd prolly let if "fall out of the trashcan" and leave it laying in the street in front of my home. Other options: burial. I could wrap it in a pair of silk panties and dig a hole in the back yard and have a small tribute ceremony. I could say a few words about him, the times we shared, the boyfriend that thought I was a totally "kinky sexual deviant" for having Mr. Trusty in my life. I'm sure the Blue Angels aren't available for a fly over - but maybe I could plan to do the service when the local traffic heliocopters are flying over. I'm still pondering what sort of music I could play that would be good. Perhaps PowerStations "Bang a (D)ong, Get it on"? My concern is that a neighbor's dog would dig it up and think it's a "bone" (although a laytex boner isn't far from accurate). I could create a little raft and put it out to sea and set it aflame. But what if a dolphin eats it and chokes? I'd hate to have the guilt of Mr. Trusty killing Flipper.... [b]Mr. Trusty, RIP - I'll have to find a replacement (which is a WHOLE 'nother blog), but no one will be as fondly remembered as your buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. [/b] |
| 24 Comments |
| Get THIS off my chest! |
| 05.11.04 (2:02 pm) [edit] |
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I admit it. I'm in a shitty mood and it's a result of a shitty day. I should go check my horoscope to see if it warns me from being attacked by a rouge swarm of mutant killer bees. It's been one of those days... My phone has been off for 3 days. I called the fucked-up phone company (AKA TalkAmerica) and requested that my fax/office lines be disconnected three weeks ago. Considering they've fucked up absolutely EVERY thing I've asked them to do, I called 2x to verify it was entered correctly AND emailed them 3x. So, of course, they shut off all my lines. And I have no reception on my cell phone in my house. Or my neighborhood. To make a call, I must walk out of my neighborhood and up a hill to make/receive a call. OR, I could climb on top of my roof, but I thought that would be a bad idea... Had to get up/moving early this a.m. for my favorite doctor. (She really cares) but lately she's dropped the ball b/c she's really being overworked. She is still of the belief that I"m fucked health-wise and I should just "accept things" and consider this my quality of life. (Which pisses me off - it's my life, I'm not giving up, so why the hell should she?) Then someone tells me that the guy that broke my heart that I'm pretty much over has a new gf. It bothers me - and I don't know why. If he came back groveling, I couldn't take him back. I care about him - it's my nature to care, so why do I feel crappy about it? Three friends last week said they'd call me to do lunch this week. I take it personally. I think it has to do with the fact that right now, I have no life. I don't have the energy to do much of anything. All that I can talk about is books I've read, something I've caught on tv or my health (which bores the shit out of people). They ask: who am I dating (no one), when's my next dive trip (don't know), how's work (I'm on leave)... I try to focus the convo's on others, but I think it becomes obvious. The catch-22 is, if I don't put on the "upbeat cheery diva" mask, they can't stand to be around me. And when I do that, they say behind my back that I act ok. My job called (I'm on short-term disability transitioning over to long-term disability) and said I need to go ahead and resign. I'm like, "whaaaaa?" She was muttering something about how I'll still continue to receive benefits blah blah blah. I kept my mouth shut, will see what she sends me in writing. So, to top things off, I'm feeling particularly destructive and feel like calling my father (with my # blocked) and see if he answers and make him feel like shit. (Why be in this alone?) And, I miss working out. I hate life today. Ok, done bitching for now. But I retain the right to bitch more later. |
| 16 Comments |
| Should I celebrate...or weep? |
| 05.10.04 (3:46 pm) [edit] |
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Today is an anniversary for me today. Personally, I think it's a sad state of affairs (or lack thereof). As of today, I have been revirginized. It's been exactly 365 days since I've bumped uglies, gotten a hot sausage injection, etc. Now, I'm not saying that I haven't lived in a convent the past year as a prude, but none of the guys I've dated in the past year (well except one) were even remotely promising. And by promising, I don't mean someone that I'm looking to dig my hooks into - just someone that might curl my toes on a fairly regular basis while not banging every other skirt that passes by. Some of my friends say I'm too picky, but am I really? I'm not totally hung up on looks - some of the guys I've dated were far from being hunks - but that's never what does it for me anyway - it's the brain, the sense of humor, the honesty, the passion - oh, and he's gotta be able to land a kiss on me that curls my toes - if he can't do that, he's history. (And I give them a couple of chances too). I am tired of thinking about bringing my vibrator to social functions when I'm told to bring my bf. I want to get laid - but I want to get laid frequently, often, and by someone who knows what the hell he is doing. So, in honor of this celebration - do I light a candle on a cupcake and make a wish? do I sit in my room and cry? do I call 10 guys and tell them the first one over can bang me? Suggestions? Signed, The Re-Virgin ***edited*** I'm not a total woof-woof - I've had plenty of offers (including men in skirts, I mean, kilts). And I don't think I'm a snob - I would just rather have no sex than bad sex. I've had enough of the latter in my past. |
| 34 Comments |
| Penis Enlargement |
| 05.07.04 (5:42 pm) [edit] |
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I just got my 4, 281st email about enlarging my penis. I find this ironic as I don't have one (well, I don't have one that doesn't require batteries). Someday I would like to have a penis of my very own (with a cute stable sweet guy attached to it that likes yardwork). It got me to thinking. (This is where you mutter "uh-oh") If I was a male, and my penis size was truly an issue to me, or I felt self-conscious about it, wouldn't I have SOUGHT different solutions out? I mean, is there ANYONE that has not received a spam about penis enlargement? (And you guys - about breast enlargement?) I'm sure if I was a guy and my love commando was dimunitive, I'd certainly be looking for ways to maximize its appearance. Suggestion: Guys - have you ever thought of using a contouring powder? We girls use it on our chest to give the illusion of larger breasts - why not give it a try??? Maybe wearing vertical stripes along that area would also enhance its appearance. Or, wear a brightly colored shirt to detract attention away from your lower regions. I also read that doing some "manscaping" around there can give the appearance of greater length and girth. (Is anyone willing to step forward and confirm it?) And I was also wondering - we girls tend to talk about different products we use that we like - ie "long lasting lipstick". Do you guys in the locker room ever ask each other if they've tried a particular "lengthening" product. (Or for that matter, one that -pardon the pun - extends the experience?) Is there ANYONE that will come forward and admit that they have replied to those emails (fret not, we'll put you under the witness protection program because you're the sole reason those damn emails keep coming - some geek idiot in an audio-visual lab in Akron ordered those pills and dammed the rest of us to an onslaught of these emails!) Just a thought... |
| 23 Comments |
| Cannot live without? |
| 05.07.04 (10:23 am) [edit] |
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What are the 5 items you cannot live without? 1. Pellegrino (fizzy water) 2. Hand Lotion 3. Cellphone 4. Lip Balm 5. My laptop |
| 18 Comments |
| So you say I need to get laid... |
| 05.05.04 (9:36 am) [edit] |
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[i][b]I’ll come over and make love to you at 5 o’clock. If I’m late, start without me.[/b][/i] Tallulah Bankhead[b] Several times in the past couple of weeks, some people close to me (and some not so close to me) have made a comment to me about needing to get laid. This led to some reflection. Clearly from my details about dating, it's clear I have't gotten a hot sausage injection in a while. So, is there more to the situation? Am I becoming an uuber bitch? And if I get laid, it's not like it's going to make me any less cynical. If I wanted to get "laid" for the sake of bumping uglies, I could pick up the phone and have any one of six to eight guys here in less than an hour. But honestly, none of them would even be worth the effort. Some of them, I have had one form or another of carnal knowledge with and others are just ripe for the picking. The quality of the "action" just isn't worth me bothering to shave my legs (or any other areas). I'd rather use rely on "Mr. Trusty" (my vibrator) or read a book than deal with some of my recent suitors. I'm sick of men that are only into it for themselves. MANY profess to want to please the woman, etc. But in reality - they think 5 seconds of fumbling down there qualifies as foreplay and after that - bam! I'm not expecting John Holmes or some cowboy that can outlast the Energizer Bunny. I've also gotten a lot of slack because I don't jump into bed with a guy off the bat. I was told by a guy that "everyone" has sex by the 3rd date. I laughed out loud - I have had A LOT of dates - and I've NEVER hopped into bed on/before the 3rd date. Sorry, but I want to know more about a man and have some sort of connection. One day, I would love to have that zing - to find someone that made me so excited (intellectually and physically). But I'm not going to bed-hop around for the hell of it to test the waters. I admit it, I have standards and I'm unwilling to waiver on those. I want a guy with a brain, a heart, a conscience and a life. So, if that means that I haven't boinked lately, give me some slack. I love men and my blog isn't meant to be hateful toward men at all - I have a sense of humor about my dating adventures and hope guys and girls can identify with it and laugh (with or at) me. Ok, got that off my chest. I'll probably come back to edit this later...[/b] |
| 17 Comments |
| Cold Showers |
| 05.04.04 (9:20 am) [edit] |
| [b]Got up this a.m., hopped in the shower. YOOOOOOOOW! Dumbass me had forgotten that I had turned the water heater way down yesterday. I think my nips will be like rocks for the rest of the day. Lovely...[/b] |
| 12 Comments |
| Dating & Truffles |
| 05.03.04 (1:17 pm) [edit] |
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[b]"Sometimes love doesn’t come to us. We have to go out hunting. It’s like pigs looking for truffles. It’s called dating." [/b] Patti LuPone Now, in this quote who are the pigs and who are the truffles? LMAO |
| 11 Comments |
| My Prom |
| 05.02.04 (4:18 pm) [edit] |
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[b]The topic of a lot of blogs lately have been about prom, which made me recall my own prom - a "few" years ago. I had been dating a guy from University of Miami - the beginning of my fetish for Latin men - for 2 years. I wasn't naive enough to think that this hot college guy was living a life of celibacy down in Miami. And despite his many attempts, my virtue was still intact. I did some shopping for prom dresses, but didn't see anything that I really loved. My mom, being in the fashion biz, told me I could design my own dress and she'd have it sewn. So I scoured the city for the "perfect" fabric/color etc. It was a sapphire blue silk and tulle tea-length dress... The bf flew up from Miami for the weekend. I bought the airline ticket and paid for his tux rental. None of my friends had ever met him until then... My mother took him out with her to go car shopping for my graduation gift. (How naive of me - I think she was actually threatening his life if he laid a hand on me.) I realized that I didn't want to be an item anymore, and that I was dumping him after prom. Prom night - we went out to dinner with my best friend and her date then headed over to the prom to make an appearance. I was on the "senior cabinet" so I had to be there fairly early, but was free after that... My mother did the coolest thing she has ever done that night. She got me a SUITE at the brand-new Hilton for "after prom". She filled the tub with ice and beer, had catered appetizers. (Left me wondering - ok, she got a hotel room for us - but she ordered all that food to make sure there'd be a lot of people so I'd be less likely to be "deflowered" that night?) Anyway - my "formerly mysterious" bf was quite the hit with everyone there. They finally got to meet the guy that was the reason I didn't date anyone else my junior and senior year. He was a little too much of a hit - as several of my friends told me he was trying to smooch on them. And then I learned he was telling everyone that the party in my hotel suite was cancelled with a "nudge nudge wink wink" - whereas I'm telling everyone to come! (I didn't want to be alone with him - I wasn't going to give it up to a guy that is mackin' on my best friend) The BF and I show up at the suite to find a herd of people waiting for us. (Including many people that I couldn't stand - but tonight, the more bodies, the better!) Needless, he was pissed when he saw everyone... We ending up having a "discussion" in the bathroom where I told him he could do whatever he wanted with whomever that night - that it was over. I can still see the bathroom in my mind. The rest of the evening was filled with me having fun with my friends (with the help of a bottle of pink champagne) while he glared at me. I woke up that morning in bed (dressed) with a guy (also dressed). I thought it was the bf. I was running my hands thru his hair then I opened my eyes - saw it wasn't my bf - that my bf was sitting in the chaise next to the bed, glaring at me like you wouldn't believe... He apologized emphatically during the ride home to my house. It fell on deaf ears - I had been the perfect gf for 2 years and I had enough. We were supposed to go out that day with one of his friends from GT. I passed. While he was gone with them, I packed up his shit, ripped his airline ticket into itty bitty pieces and left his suitcase on the front door. His friends from GT ended up paying for a bus ticket home to Miami. A nice long ride to give him ample opportunity to reflect on his bad behavior. And the irony of the situation... I ended up falling in love with his best friend/cousin that summer. LMAO[/b] |
| 6 Comments |
| Activists Urge Better Prostitutes' Rights Worldwide |
| 05.02.04 (1:33 pm) [edit] |
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Does anyone else see the irony is this? [b]Taiwanese academic [u]Josephine Ho[/u] told of similar problems in Taiwan. "Sex workers are totally powerless in the face of crimes. When their properties and bodies are exploited...seeking police protection means asking for more unbearable troubles," [u]Ho said[/u].[/b] |
| 7 Comments |
| My Anthem |
| 05.02.04 (12:58 pm) [edit] |
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[b]I'm sitting in my home office reading some emails and thinking about my friend that was involved in the "Dynasty-style Other Woman Drama" thing last night. A song came on the radio that is my "anthem". No matter how sucky life can get, when I hear this song, I HAVE to get up and dance, twirl and sing (Horrendously off-key). The song... "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor. I can't tell you HOW many times I've played that song over and over (usually there's a man involved) but it picks me up and keeps me going no matter what. Do you have an anthem that does the same for you?[/b] |
| 8 Comments |
| This made me chuckle.... |
| 05.01.04 (7:04 pm) [edit] |
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[b]Due to a slight mix-up with pills on the kitchen counter, my husband will be heartworm-free for the next 30 days.[/b] *** This is something I read - I do not have a husband or a dog. (And sometimes they are one in the same.) |
| 8 Comments |
| 101 Facts About Me |
| 05.01.04 (3:39 pm) [edit] |
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JennsAbsent has a list of 100 things about herself - while tblog was down early this a.m., I came up with this list. So - thanks to Jen for the idea. ;) [b]1. I’m a native Atlantan. 2. I’m an only child. 3. I placed 3rd in jr. regionals in figure skating when I was 11. 4. I won my school’s spelling bee 3rd – 7th grade. 5. I interned for a republican congressman in DC (NO Monical Lewinsky jokes - but I wore a beret back then too!) 6. In high school, I was ranked one of the top debaters in my state 10-12th grade. 7. I was the first girl to join Key Club in my high school. The next year – 30 girls applied. 8. I had a dog named Daphne growing up. I named her after the character from Scooby Doo. I thought she was beautiful. 9. I had a MAD crush on Speed Racer and Donny Osmond. 10. I broke my arm falling off a bike when I was 12 – my mom didn’t think it was broken for 3 days. (MAJOR GUILT! LOL) 11. I met Henry Winkler as a kid. (The Fonz was SO dreamy back then) 12. I performed at the Grand Ole Opry when I was 13. 13. I met Tom Wopat that day too. (I’d rather have met John Schneider, but who can be picky when it comes to the Dukes of Hazard?) 14. I was hit by 2 drunk drivers within 12 hours when I was 19. 15. I was hit by a wrong-way hit/run (assuming) drunk driver 2 years ago that totaled my car. 16. My first college roomie went home after 3 weeks b/c she was homesick. 17. My 2nd college roomie was the daughter of the Minister of Treasury for Panama and was a MEGA coke dealer. 18. I have a brown thumb, but I still keep trying. A plant entering my home has a death sentence. 19. I was a finalist for a reality-tv show. 20. I have 34 purses total. Including 11 black ones. (Why???) 21. I have over 200 pairs of shoes, organized by season, color, heel height and occasion. They are in color-coded and labeled in plastic boxes. 22. My shirts are organized by color, sleeve length, occasion and season. 23. I have perfectly straight teeth - never wore braces. Instead, my mother had braces and I was soooo jealous! 24. My mom is an interior decorator to the ridiculously wealthy. (Ask me about some of the stories – they will crack you up!) 25. I didn’t speak to my father from the time I was 13 – 21 and again for the past 6 years. 26. He’s a headhunter/executive recruiter. 27. I am a recovered diet coke head. I’d do a 12pk a day. Coke stock is down significantly since I stopped. 28. I’ve NEVER consumed a Pepsi product. (It’s an Atlanta thing.) 29. I’ve never seen an episode of Cheers, Seinfeld, Star Trek or Alias. 30. I have a MAD crush on Ty Pennington from Trading Spaces and Extreme Home Makeover. (I wonder if it’s just b/c he could do me AND home repairs?) 31. I’ve never been married. 32. Never even considered it. 33. I can’t imagine the concept of having to share closet space. 34. Never lived with a man (except a male roommate briefly) 35. And I kicked his ass out after 3 months b/c he was a SLOB. (Another series of funny stories there if you want to learn) 36. I have no kids and have no desire to spawn. 37. Couldn’t even if I wanted to. 38. I used to be the queen of LDR’s. (Long Distance Relationships) Miami, Rome, Dallas, San Diego, Chicago, back to Miami, Houston… 39. And that was BEFORE the internet was around. 40. I was the scandal of 7th grade b/c I was dating a boy that was 16. 41. I wasn’t allowed in his car. 42. We’d meet at the mall and walk around holding hands. 43. My classmates were sooooo jealous. 44. His father owned a large jewelry store. 45. My mom said I should have held on to him. (LMAO) 46. I still have the gold ID bracelet he gave me (somewhere) 47. I got my first “real” kiss at 14 from Matt. 48. He was a childhood friend’s little brother – but he grew up. (hee hee) 49. I have dated six guys named Matt. 50. Vinny Testaverde was at my 18th birthday party. (He was a friend of my bf at the time) 51. I have a SERIOUS weakness for Latin men – particularly Cubans. 52. A guy can read me a grocery list in Spanish and I get weak in the knees. (I exaggerate a little…) 53. I’m fluent in French – but getting rusty. 54. I understand most Spanish but I sound like a fool trying to speak it. 55. I love the smell of gardenias. 56. I’m not a fan of roses. 57. My bedroom is a pale purple – with 16ft ceilings – and I painted it all by myself. 58. In high school, I had dates with 2 boys in one day. They encountered each other at my front door as one was leaving and the other arriving. I carried it off like a champ! 59. And I smooched them both! ;) 60. I ended up buying the first house I saw – but I insisted on seeing another 50 before making a decision. 61. I had a goal to buy my 1st house by my 29th birthday – I made the RE atty move the closing date up to meet my goal. 62. I love to cook – I make great pesto, sangria, and have a great “knack” for improving recipes. 63. I have a monstrous recipe collection. 64. I’m a published author and poet (I got paid for it). 65. I read at least 1 book a week. That was a resolution several years ago and I’ve stuck to it. 66. I always have bottled water with me. I drink like a fish. 67. I’ve broken/sprained my ankle 7 (or 8) times since I was 18. 68. I've kept a journal since I was 6 and have a trunk full of them! 69. I got a double-barbed fishhook caught in the bone of my finger. That ended my fishing career. (Ask me about my father chasing me around his apt with a pair of pliers!) 70. I convinced my 7th grade class to jump out of our paddleboats in the middle of the lake at Stone Mountain Park on our graduation trip. No one pinned it on me. 71. I never had detention. 72. I was thrown in “juvey” my first night at college for minor in possession - I turned 18 the next day. 73. There were some hot beers in the trunk of my roomie’s father’s car under his golf shit. 74. We were on the way to buy beer (but the coppers didn’t know it) 75. The charges were tossed out. But it was great for our reputation – to be busted our first night at school. Subsequently, I was a little sister for “the” frat on campus. 76. I was a radio DJ for the largest college radio station in the country and “the” alternative station in town. I quit after a year in the “big time”. 77. I DJ’d weddings for extra money. (I HATED it) 78. I did phone sex for research for my thesis on communication between the sexes. 79. I don’t have cable or satellite tv. Otherwise, my ass would prolly never leave the sofa. 80. I’ve truly been in love 1.5 times. 81. I have a Dive Master’s rating (although I prefer “Dive Mistress”). 82. I’ve fed black tip reef sharks with a 3 ft. pole 83. I dropped the pole when a Bull shark appeared. 84. I never win at gambling, lotteries, etc. 85. I haven’t eaten “fast food” in 15+ years. 86. I haven’t touched a potato in 3 years. (Except a sweet potato on T’giving each year) 87. My favorite dish would be fresh tomatoes, sliced with buffalo mozzarella, fresh basil and olive oil. 88. I looooove Mango Rum. 89. I have a chipmunk that lives under my driveway – I call him Alvin and I refuse to run him off. 90. I love pedicures – but only if I do them myself. I don’t like strangers fondling my feet. (Note, non-strangers are ok if they are hot dudes.) 91. The scene in Bull Durham when he paints her toes drives me nuts - in a good way ;). 92. I double-majored in college in Communications and Psychology with a minor in Film. 93. I have a bubble bath every Sunday evening except during the summer. 94. I can’t stand air conditioning. 95. It takes me less than 30 mins to get ready for work, a date, etc. 96. It’s a popular misnomer that I’m high maintenance. 97. I collect quotes that I really like. 98. I love cheesy disco and early 80’s music. 99. I’ve been to Antigua, Aruba, Belize, Bahamas, Grand Cayman, Mexico, Honduras, Jamaica, St. Croix, Puerto Rico, Tortola, Virgin Gorda, and I’m leaving a number out… 100. I don’t have any fears of heights, speaking in public, etc. But, because I’m so accident prone – I won’t even consider skydiving or bungee jumping. 101. If there is a mosquito within 3 miles of me, it will find me and bite me on the one spot where I don't have bug repellent.[/b] |
| 27 Comments |
by Redonthehead