I seem to date a lot. And I've established a number of rules or guidelines for my dating based on experiences. It's a method of immediately eliminating any "undesirables" - these are immediate red flags for me that make me holler "NEXT!" The stories behind some of these rules are comical and but no men were harmed in the making of this list (ok, they weren't mortally wounded). [u][b]The Non-negotiables:[/b][/u] 1) [b]No smoking or chewing tobacco.[/b] *I had to make an addendum to this a few weeks ago when I went out with a guy that pulled out some Skoal. He had flecks of that crap in his teeth. NASTY. 2) [b]No criminal record. [/b] *I dated a guy briefly that "seemed" cool - then he enlightened me that he was on probation. For what you ask? Try Attempted Sexual Assault on a Minor! At first, I thought I'd be open-minded as he professed it was a "set-up". (Don't they ALL say that?) But I just couldn't do it. Something about pulling up the county's convicted sex offender database to show someone my bf's pic just didn't sound too appealing. 3) [b]Place of his own.[/b] *I understand the economy is tight. I've been laid off myself, but I cannot deal with a guy that has a roomie or, even worse, lives with his parents. 4) [b]Good teeth.[/b] *Dental hygiene is important. He's gotta have all his teeth. And they can't look like those fake ones you pick up at the convenience store. 5) [b]Professional Job[/b] * I tried dating an "artist" for a while. Amazing guy. I bought the whole "I don't need money" thing until he was stranded out of state with his vehicle broken down and desperately needed money. 6) [b]Decent, working car[/b] *Kinda ties into #5. Another stud I dated drove his heap over to my house and then asked me to drive each time because his vehicle was "leaking fluid". Call me silly, I have no problem in driving occasionally - but a man over 30 that can't keep his car in working condition needs to take the next exit in my life. 7) [b]Stable Finances[/b] *Ties into #s 5 & 6. I live a comfortable life. I like to travel and do fun things - and I generally pay my own way. I don't want a guy to put himself in financial binds to try to keep up with me, nor do I want a guy that expects me to be his sugarmomma or "loan" him money that I'll never see again. Won't do it! 8)[b] Not Married, Separated, or Recently Divorced[/b] I can't name all the guys that have failed to mention that they had a wife (and family) at home when they asked me out. Call it professional courtesy, but I don't mess with another woman's man. Don't want to deal with the drama, the baggage or the leftovers. 9) [b]Can Cook and Clean for Himself.[/b] I'm not his mother, his chef, or his maid. And I'm not going to be spending nights at a place that I'm afraid to turn on the lights to see critters scurrying, or feel compelled to call in Maid Brigade to decontaminate the place. 10) [b]No history of drinking or drug problems.[/b] Just because I have a degree in psychology does not mean I'm willing to put up with those ups and downs. I have enough troubles with men without those issues, I don't need more drama. 11) [b]Relatively Physically Fit[/b] Just because I'm a certified rescue diver doesn't mean I want to practice CPR on him when he tries to go up a flight of stairs. I'm not looking for Mr.Ironhead whose neck creaks when he tries to turn his head. I just want a guy that won't squish me and I can put my arms around. 12) [b]Must love animals.[/b] I admit it. I have 2 cats. You don't like them or you say you hate cats, get out of my presence. I love all animals - except spiders, ants, mosquitos, stinging insects, and roaches. I think there's something wrong with someone that doesn't connect with animals. 13) [b]No children (or at least grown)[/b] *I don't have kids by choice. I don't want to deal with all the drama of them. I admit it, I'm a horrible person - I just don't want that sort of complication. 14)[b] Honesty[/b] *If a guy lies to me about stupid things in the beginning, there is no second chance. I have a thing about honesty. One guy in particular lied to me about practically everything in his life. I found out. He had a taste of "sweet revenge" and to this day, he doesn't know I know he lied and he doesn't know it was me that instigated it. (I'll have to elaborate on that one another time!) 15) [b]Not racist or homophobic. [/b] Guys that are that insecure and closed-minded - I just can't tolerate it. 16) [b]Not violent.[/b] *This chick will not tolerate a guy that raises his voice excessively, raises his hand, or throws things. I don't want to have to defend myself - I will NOT tolerate it. 17) [b]Sense of direction[/b] *By the time we're 30, we should have some idea of the general direction and goals in our lives. Men still wandering after that are probably going to be still in search of something at 70. 18) [b]Passion[/b] *Now I'm not just talking about in the sack - I'm talking about a passion (or more) in life. Something that REALLY gets him fired up. Sports teams DO not count. 19) [b]Chivalrous, Romantic, and Well-mannered[/b] *I can write a novel on this one... I'm sorry but I like to have doors opened for me, to get flowers every once in a while, to be treated like a princess (but I certainly reciprocate). Not expecting it 24/7 - just occasional gestures work for me. Someone that eats with his mouth full, is embarrassing to eat with in public or uncomfortable in more "formal" social settings - I'm not going to train them. Last but not least... 20) [b]Kisses that curl my toes[/b]. *I've kissed a lot of frogs (and a few toads too). I've found that if they haven't developed their smooching ability to an adequate level by now, that the other things are also going to be less than sufficient. If you don't curl my toes, do not pass go, just keep on walking out the door.

21) Can't use more hair products than I do. Too much cologne is a deal-breaker too.